Pacifist :: Sequel to Fighter ::
by nothingworks321
Summary: A possible love triangle, perhaps a few marriages, and maybe growing up in big ways? Kokone and the characters of Detective Conan have a lot ahead of them...
1. Chapter 1: Busy Busy

_6 Years Later…_

_What in the _world _is that annoying noise?_

I tried to shut whatever it was out of my head, trying to return to that dream I had been having…such a good dream…what had it been about again?

"UUUUUUUGH. Dammit," I groaned out loud. I opened my eyes and became aware of the blaring alarm clock next to me. In a fit of frustration I picked it up off of my bedside table and ripped it out of the wall, chucking it into the closet across from my bed.

That didn't exactly accomplish much, as I knew I had to get up anyway, but somehow I had to achieve some sort of satisfaction from this brief moment of violence. I tumbled out of my bed and into the shower, then somehow managed to get dressed and eat something before I grabbed my bag and left.

Okay, I thought to myself, I'm a bit early today for once, which means I'll be able to get those reports filed so I can leave early for lunch with Hyo Yeoung, then I'll be able to pick up Ran and Shinichi from the airport later, drop Shinichi off at Ichiro's house, pay a visit to Kazuko and Kazumi…

Needless to say, I was swamped today. Any minor setback could throw off my entire day.

I should have knocked on wood or something. It was inevitable though I supposed. As soon as I stepped confidently out of the elevator, I was in a crime scene. I stopped and surveyed the area.

There was police tape blocking off my apartment building, seemingly from the rest of the world, with officers and the like wandering around reporting and talking seriously amongst themselves. Sure enough, there was the body, already in its bag, waiting to be transported to the crime lab, where I would eventually have to survey it for any clues as to what could have killed him, as well as who.

"Dammit, Heiji," I grumbled. I rubbed a hand over my face, and when I opened my eyes again, there he was with his "deep thinking" face on.

"Don't curse _my _name, your doorman was the one that was killed, not mine…"

"My _doorman?_ Sakamoto-san was killed? Honestly Heiji, maybe you should be locked in a room or something. Or is it just coincidence that the day after you visit my apartment someone decides to murder my doorman?"

"Hey, I didn't murder anyone! Sheesh…anyway, your little team is already here. I figured I'd let you sleep in a little longer before I called you down here to do the real work."

"Thanks, you're too kind," I mumbled. I started for the body bag. As I opened it, careful not to disturb any possible evidence, I hollered over my shoulder:

"ISHIDA!"

"H-Hai!" a rushed voice came from behind me.

"You have your camera ready?"

"Yes, ma'am!"

"Then get over here. Take a picture of this." After putting on my gloves, I held up the dead man's wrist, which had a slightly green ring around it. He snapped a few pictures from different angles. "And this." There were peculiar white bumps on his forearm. Another sweep of the body, and I decided that was all I could do from where I was at that moment.

"Alright, load him up. Did you already contact the family?"

"N-no, ma'am, we were told that you were supposed to -"

"Get the number for me, then."

"H-Hai!"

"And quit looking like you're a middle schooler on some sort of field trip. You're making people jumpy." My assistant took a deep breath and responded only slightly more calmly.

"Hai."

"Heiji, is there anything else I should be taking samples of?" Heiji looked up from a group of officers that were having some sort of report, then pointed towards the podium that Sakamoto had always sat at. When I got behind it, I wasn't surprised to find a few novels sitting there, one of which was left splayed open, as if it hadn't been long since it had been left there.

"ISHIDA," I called again.

"HAI!"

"Get an evidence bag for me, would you? Actually, grab a few."

"HAI." I snooped around the little desk area, found a powdery substance of sorts that I later took a sample of, and when Ishida brought what I had asked for, I picked up the book carefully.

The cover was wrinkly and bent from overuse. It was a paperback book, and now that I thought about it, had been one of Sakamoto's favorites. He read this book when he was between new ones that he wanted to read, and before I dropped it into the evidence bag, I had a flashback of him smiling buoyantly with a warm greeting, the book still open in his hand. _"Good evening, Kokawa-sama. How are you?"_

Then I realized I knew absolutely nothing about this guy. He could have a wife, kids, a _family _for all I knew…why would anyone want to kill him?

I shook my head before handing the bag over to Ishida, who bowed before rushing it to whatever car would transport it to my office.

I often thought that same phrase – why would anyone want to kill so-and-so – but I was starting to learn that it was all part of the job. My therapist, who I saw only once a month now, was against me going into this field of work, but I assured her that it would be the best way for me to deal with everything. And I could - deal with everything, I mean. Though I had those stray thoughts that went out to whatever family had just lost a member, I was able to somewhat callously push those emotions aside as I worked to aid in the fight for justice. People working in my department called me heartless sometimes, and most of them feared me to some degree, but I didn't mind. I secretly enjoyed the power.

"Call me with the results," Heiji interrupted my train of thought.

"Right. Oh wait! Uh, you may have to stop by or get a call from someone else about them though…I have things to take care of today." He looked up at the ceiling, as if asking 'why me?'

"God, fine. I'll try to get everything done as fast as possible, but there are no promises." He smiled egotistically.

"I'll probably have the case solved by the time you get to your office anyway."

"Oh shut up." I rolled my eyes before heading out the door and under the police tapes.

Come on, come on, I thought. My foot was tapping and I was fidgeting, suddenly nervous. I glanced at my watch; I had been waiting for half an hour.

"Miss, would you like some more water?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Sure." I pushed my glass to the edge of the table, and the waitress filled it generously before smiling, bowing, then moving on to the next table.

To be completely honest, I had been worried about Hyo Yeoung. Ever since his aunt had died, he just wasn't the same. We saw each other a few times later that year, but then he completely disappeared. The last conversation I had with him face-to-face had been about his argument with his uncle. It had apparently been a huge blowout that led to the threat of being disowned by the only parental figure he had left.

Ichiro wasn't exactly _happy _that I was meeting up with him today…but hell, it had been years since I had even talked to him, and he randomly calls to schedule a lunch saying he has something important to tell me? What was I supposed to do?

I checked my watch again. Only two minutes had passed.

"Sorry I'm late!" I looked up to see him hurrying towards my table, being escorted by the same waitress that had refilled my water glass. She offered him a drink, then offered to take our orders as well, but we passed.

"Wow…Hyo Yeoung-oppa, you look so _different._" And indeed he did. He had grown into a rather mature…well, man. It still seemed weird to me to be describing people my age in that way. But on the other hand, he also had a childlike look in his eyes, something that suggested freedom…something was definitely making him jumpy and excited, but I wasn't sure how to bring it up.

"And you…" He took a deep breath, then smiled kindly. "Is it rude to say that you look the same as always? Before you answer that, you should know that you've always been _stunningly _beautiful." I shook my head.

"And you're still absurd…" I looked at my menu, but then looked up and smiled at him.

"Which uh…brings me to my next point." He was still smiling, but was suddenly uneasy.

"Mm, what was so important that you had to tell me?"

"You know how I was going to medical school in Tokyo?"

"…I didn't know it was _medical _school, but sure, now I do."

"Well anyway, I quit." I almost choked on my water.

"You _what?_"

"I dropped out. I was supposed to graduate this year, since I took a year off before I actually started college, but I decided I didn't want it anymore. This had been my aunt's dream, not mine." He said this so easily that I wasn't sure how to respond.

"So…what are you going to do then?" He pulled a book satchel out from behind him and retrieved a large, manila colored pad from it, placing it face down in front of me. I raised my eyebrows before picking it up.

"What is this?"

"Lift the cover." I did, and my breath escaped me.

There was a beautiful landscape drawing that resembled some sort of river during a sunset. The colors, so vibrant and glorious, blended together in such a way that it was impossible to define any lines, though there were definitely shapes of trees and other nature-esque things. There was a heron in the sky that stood out from everything else, and it appeared to be flying towards whoever was observing this scene.

"Hyo Yeoung-ah…this is _amazing…_"

"My favorite ones are my portraits." I looked up at him, incredulous, then flipped the page over and found underneath it a colorless sketch of a very, _very _beautiful girl. Her head was tilted slightly, and she appeared to be sitting on an invisible chair. Her eyes I noticed, were the only colored aspects of the page; a bright, eccentric blue.

"Oh my God…is this…?"

"That's you." He said it so effortlessly that I had to think before I responded.

"_Me?_ But this is -"

"How I see you. I draw things as I see them. Don't we all?" I took a steadying breath and leaned back, flipping through other portraits and sketches that were equally as dazzling.

"So you want to be an artist."

"I've always wanted to be one…but my aunt always said I wouldn't get anywhere that way. I decided that she would want me to be happy, right? So I quit medical school." He smiled peacefully.

"…Well alright then. That's…wow. That's great for you."

"You think?"

"Well, sure, I'm all for the individualistic parts of life, but aren't you worried about what your uncle will think?" His expression darkened and he looked away.

"My uncle is back in Korea, as far as I know. I haven't spoken to him in years."

"Oh…I'm sorry. But hey. I think you could be successful. This stuff is absolutely _miraculous…_" I trailed off, flipping back to the portrait of me. _"I draw things as I see them. Don't we all?"_

"You can keep that one, if you want."

"Oh, no. I really shouldn't."

"No, go ahead. Here." He took the tablet from me and ripped it out cleanly, handing it over. I took it cautiously.

"Are you sure?"

"No doubt! Hey, I'm really sorry about this but I have to go, so I'll get together with you soon, ah? Tell your mother I said hello." He smiled as he got up to leave, replacing the tablet back into his satchel.

"O-Oh. Okay. I'll walk you out."

"Alright." We walked out to the street together, where we were to part ways.

"I live in one of those apartment buildings down…there." He pointed in a general direction, which caused me to laugh.

"Well that's great to know. I'll be sure to look down _there._" He smiled gratefully.

"Annyeoung, Kokone-ah."

"Annyeoung." I waved as I watched him blend into the crowd before I turned to start towards the hospital.

I never really liked going through the hospital doors, even though I was walking myself through them. It all seemed so distant and morbid to me now. Had I really had a near death experience here once? I'd had one in Tokyo more recently than the one I'd had here, but then again, the one I went through here was a _tad _bit more depressing…

However, I did love the smell…I couldn't help it. I inhaled deeply as I approached the front desk.

"Good afternoon, how may I help you?" The receptionist asked me without looking up from her computer.

"Er – I know this is kind of against the rules, but -"

"No, I cannot give you medicine that wasn't prescribed for you." This caught me off guard. She said it as if it were normal for some random person to waltz in and ask for drugs.

"Wh-what? No, no, I don't want medicine, I need to -"

"Medicine and drugs can be the same depending on how they're used."

"…That's great. Now, can I please ask you where I might find Dr. Ogawa Ichiro?"

"None of the doctors can give you medicine without a direct cause. Are you sick?"

"Oh. My God, will you stop assuming I'm some kind of pot-smoker and just tell me where he is?" She looked up at me with this comment, which I said sort of harshly, but Jesus, how else was I ever going to get my point across?

"Ma'am, I'd appreciate it if you would stay calm."

"I'm perfectly fine! You're the one calling me a drug addict over here!"

"Kokone!"

"What!" I snapped, turning towards the direction of which my name was called. Then I realized it was Ichiro. "Oh. Hey, I was looking for you." He jogged over to me and pulled me away from the receptionist's desk. She eyed me carefully.

"Your receptionists are absolutely ridiculous here," I commented sourly. She gave me the stink eye, to which I returned my death glare.

That seemed to work pretty well.

"Stop," Ichiro tried not to laugh. "She's new here, and has already dealt with someone begging for free medicine more than once." I raised my eyebrows.

"Well isn't that interesting."

"I guess. So anyway, what're you doing here? I only have about 10 more minutes left of my lunch before I have to get back to _interning_." He said the word with disgust, as if it had some sort of diseases associated with it, which is actually quite possible given the environment.

"Oh please, you know you love it." He did, he couldn't hide it. This was what he had been born to do; to help people. "But I was wondering if you knew the time I was supposed to pick up Ran and Kudo at the airport?"

"I swear I've told you a _million _times…Pick them up in about 3 hours."

"Hey, I had a lot to do today alright? My doorman was murdered by some jealous ex-apartment dweller this morning while I was _asleep._ And that lunch with Hyo Yeoung? Oh man, talk about weird. Look at this." I lifted up my portrait, and Ichiro took it and held it up to the light like an x-ray film.

"…Wow. This is…this is you."

"You really think so? Am I the only one that doesn't see it?"

"You've never been one to see yourself for the amazing person that you are," he mumbled as he continued to observe the fine detail of my face. I blushed for a second, but quickly recovered.

"Shut up." He handed the portrait back to me, grinning stupidly.

"I should get back to work now. My resident is going to kill me if I don't."

"Alright, I guess I'll go…clean. Or something."

"Mhm, whatever you say." He leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before turning to venture back into the depths of the hospital. "Don't forget to pick them up!" I rolled my eyes, but waved happily before I took my leave.


	2. Chapter 2: Sleep

I'm not gonna lie, I was _always _tired.

Work was endless, what with all the reports and the demands for _my _help in particular when it came to solving cases with actual, forensic evidence. Then there was keeping up with everyone; Ichiro, Heiji, Kazuha, Ran, Shinichi, Kazuko, Kazumi, and now Hyo Yeoung…

I held everyone together now. It may not have seemed that way, but honestly, I did. Focusing on everyone else's problems - from Kazuha's complaints about Heiji's inability to maintain a semblance of intelligence to Kazuko's newfound boy troubles - helped me to keep my mind off of my _own._

I was composed. I was centered. I was –

"Kokone-chan?" I jumped, then stared at the girl in front of me, at first not recognizing her.

"Oh!" I cried with sudden recognition. "Ran-chan!" She pulled me in for a hug before I could reject it.

"It's so great to see you! Oh, how long has it been?"

"Uh, 3 months."

"Already?" I pulled away, giving her a weird look.

"It's not like anything drastic has changed since we last talked face-to-face…"

"But still…Shinichiiiii, maybe we should move to Osaka." And there was Kudo, standing there casually and so _happily_, damn him, with his hands in his pockets. He smiled in greeting, then stepped forward to join the conversation.

"Ran, if I took you to Osaka, do you know what your father would do?" Ran made a slightly annoyed face.

"He would get over it."

"No, he would _murder me._"

"Oh hush, he would not."

"…Alright, so should we get going then? Kazuha'll be waiting," I interrupted.

"Of course!" Ran grinned and jumped up and down excitedly.

We made our way to where I had parked outside the airport. The conversation was light and strangely energized, which managed to keep me awake for the drive to Ichiro's house. _Why is everyone so damn happy all the time?_ I thought to myself.

I led them up the steps and into Ichiro's house, which was the same as always, since his parents had left it to him when his mother finally decided to move to where it was more convenient.

…Funny. I couldn't even remember where they were now.

My mother was still in that house, all alone. I don't think she cared that much about my moving out as soon as humanly possible after high school, but I still had a little monster of regret living in the back of my brain…However, she _did _occasionally come to put food in my refrigerator, since she knew I didn't have the patience to keep my food supply at anything above the bare minimum. She didn't resist the opportunity to insult my ability to cook in the process, but I appreciated the sentiment.

One thing I had always found strange was that she didn't pay for _anything_ that I needed, but she managed to waste her money on paying my therapist to accuse me of being suicidal and ignorant. I shook my head as I thought of this. That woman…

"Kokone-chan? Are you going to get out of the car?" I looked up from the steering wheel I had been staring at unknowingly for a good 5 minutes.

"R-Right. Yeah. Actually, no. I have to go pick up Kazuko from school, but Kazuha should be inside with the dog." Shinichi gave me a curious look, but shrugged.

"Alright then. See you later." I nodded, then started the car again.

Kazuko and Kazumi lived not far from Ichiro's house at all now. They had moved here a year after we graduated from high school, and I don't think there were many happier moments in my life than that one. The couple that adopted them was generous and kind, and never hesitated to ask me to care for Kazuko or Kazumi. Both of their adoptive parents worked, so I usually took care of them after school for a few hours, or Ichiro would, depending on our work shifts.

Kazuko opened the passenger door and slipped into the seat easily. She was one of those absurdly cute girls that never realized it, despite the trail of pests hanging around her, poking her, making fun of her, doing any number of things the opposite sex does in an attempt to express their affection, regardless of how ridiculous they were.

"Hey. Did you learn anything today?" I asked calmly, pulling out onto the road.

"Nope."

"Ahh, come on. I'm telling you, you'd better learn now before it's too late…" I warned her.

"How can I possibly learn anything when that stupid row of boys behind me persistently throws wadded up paper into my hair!" Here we go, I thought.

"Them again? Doesn't your teacher ever notice? No, you know what? Give them something to look at. You know what I would do?"

"What?"

"I'd sock 'em,"

"Eonnie!" She had taken to calling me this even though she wasn't Korean due to Ichiro's encouragement, but I had eventually grown accustomed to it, I guess. If it were anyone else, though… "What kind of mentor are you, encouraging violence like this? _I_ should be in charge of _you._" I stuck my tongue out at her.

"Aren't you though? Demanding car rides instead of taking the bus _just _because my job provides one…" I mumbled.

"Hee hee hee," She giggled. I rolled my eyes, but smiled.

"Is Kazumi still sick?"

"Yeah, but she's feeling better today. She should be back at school by Thursday at the latest."

"Well that's good. You feel like hanging out at Ichiro's house with everyone for a little bit? I_ could _drop you off at home, but…"

"No, it's fine. I'll go." She said this willingly since she never rejected the offer to observe the adults as we told jokes, stories, and made references to things only our generation would know about.

So we returned to Ichiro's house, where literally _everyone _was by now. The kitchen table was cluttered with people, so it seemed, but maybe that was just because there were more chairs from other rooms added to the 5 already there. Shinichi sat next to Ran, playing with a random piece of her hair idly as they conversed with Heiji and Kazuha, as well as Ichiro, who was at the stove preparing something delicious, as usual. I couldn't help but smile slightly; this was my family.

"Hey, Kazuko-chan! Alright, since she's the youngest she gets to try my ramen first," Ichiro greeted her warmly, offering an open chair. She grinned and bounced over to take her seat happily. Everyone else exchanged hellos while I reached for a water glass. My head was _killing _me, I suddenly noticed.

"Ichiro-niichan, you look tired…" Kazuko commented as he placed the first bowl of ramen in front of her.

"Well I should be. I finished my first 48 hour shift today."

"_48 hours? _Are you freakin' _serious?_" Heiji asked incredulously. "Is it even worth it?"

"Sure it is. Don't be rude, Heiji," Kazuha scolded. He shot her a look, but before the fighting could start, Ichiro placed a bowl in front of him. That got him to shut up.

"So how long are you two staying here?" Ichiro asked Ran and Shinichi.

"A few days. Maybe a week. Work is pretty flexible right now," Shinichi answered without looking up.

"Plus, we have something important to celebrate," Ran grinned feverishly and bounced in her seat a little.

Ran and Shinichi had been officially together for about 3 or 4 years now, I supposed. No one was really surprised when it actually _happened_ though. Heiji and Kazuha however…I had heard from Kazuha that Heiji had asked her out on _one date, _but after that, he seemed jittery. Since they weren't actually together, Kazuha ended up dating other people after waiting for a few months for Heiji to man-up enough to ask her out again.

That coward, I commented to myself. Every time she had a date, he never made an attempt to keep it to himself that it displeased him. I wondered why Kazuha didn't just make the first move instead, as I knew there was no possible way that she was actually _interested _in those other guys, but I wasn't really one to talk…

Ichiro and I…I don't know what we were. We weren't together, we definitely weren't apart. We loved each other, and we both knew it, but neither of us made any attempts towards the actual relationship part of the whole thing. I guess we both assumed that dating wasn't really necessary, since we spent nearly all of our free time together even now, and that was enough for me, so it seemed.

But I was also worried about the commitment part that went along with actually being involved with someone. What if I screwed everything up? I wasn't exactly the most _reliable _person, according to my therapist. I wasn't always aware of everything, and I usually didn't share seemingly unimportant things that eventually blew up _because _of my inability to "express myself…"

What a stupid thing to be afraid of. Maybe that's Heiji's problem, I thought to myself. But then I remembered that Kazuha and Heiji fought _constantly,_ so what was the problem there whether they were together or not?

"Kokone, come sit down," Ichiro told me, pulling out a chair. I obeyed tiredly.

"So what is it you need to tell us, Ran-chan?" Kazuha asked. I had a feeling she was already in on the secret. Ran's mouth seemed to be glued into a permanent smile, but eventually she burst.

"We're getting married." The room immediately exploded in praise and congratulations. Shinichi and Ran smiled gratefully, and Ran held up her left hand for Kazuha to examine the ring that had gone unnoticed until now. The overwhelming amount of people in the room made me dizzy for a second.

"Oh, we have to start planning!" Kazuha exclaimed, all bubbly with excitement. Kazuko just sat and watched with a content smile on her face. I rested my chin in my hand, feeling my eyes close warily, blinking hard in an effort to wake up. I don't know what happened, but the next thing I knew I was using my arms as a pillow, nearly asleep, though there was chatter all around me. So…tired…I thought. My head pounded as I drifted off.

_Ogawa Ichiro's POV:_

The room was warm with enthusiasm and activity, so much so that I only noticed Kokone's position on the table when Heiji and Kazuha offered to leave.

"I guess we'll get going then. Kazuha, you drive this time." Kazuha groaned in frustration, but took the keys anyway.

"Kokone-chan?" She asked curiously, reaching out to poke her on the shoulder once she noticed that she was just lying there. "Is she asleep?"

"…Kokone?" I asked as well, walking over to inspect. Her head was facing the wall, turned away from everyone else as it was nearly buried in her arms. Sure enough, her eyes were closed, and there was a soft snore coming from the back of her throat as her shoulders rose and sank with her steady breathing.

"Taku, why doesn't she just go home and go to bed?" Heiji asked. "Should we drive Kazuko-chan home then?"

"Yeah, we can do that," Kazuha offered. "Let's go, Kazuko-chan! We'll see you all tomorrow. Call me as soon as you wake up tomorrow so we can start planning, Ran-chan!" Kazuha squealed with elatedness.

"Sure, sure," she replied easily with a laugh. "Bye you two, drive safe."

I bent down to be on the same level as Kokone's head.

"Kokone. Kokone, wake up." I shook her shoulder gently, but she only made a small noise. With tentative fingers, I reached up to feel her forehead. "Crap, you're burning up!" I mumbled about her condition to myself before getting up to find the safe fever reducer in my medicine cabinet that I reserved specifically for her.

"She has a fever?" Ran asked worriedly. "Would you like me to do something?"

"No, no, it's fine. She'll just have to stay here tonight. I guess we all will be, actually. Sorry, Ran-chan."

"Oh, don't worry about me! Are you sure we can't do anything to help?"

"It's alright, I got it. The guest bedroom is the first door on your left at the top of the staircase, and the other one is the last door in the hallway, if you choose that sort of sleeping arrangement." Ran flushed with embarrassment.

"L-Let's go get ready for bed then," Shinichi offered, trying to avoid this awkward situation. Ran agreed immediately and they proceeded to take their bags up to their rooms. I poured the right amount of medicine and set it next to Kokone's head before attempting to wake her up again.

"Kokone. Hey, Kokone."

"Hmmm…" she hummed. "No more." She grumbled in Korean.

"No more what? Hey, I need you to wake up for a few minutes, alright? You can go right back to sleep."

"No more."

"No more _what?_"

"…Too…hard." I sighed, then shook her shoulder again. One of her eyes slowly opened, and she blinked in response to the light.

"Hey, you awake now?"

"…I think so…"

"Drink this for me, alright?" She regarded the medicine carefully again.

"Why?"

"Because you're sick. _Again._"

"Am not."

"Don't argue, just drink the damn medicine." I held it up for her, and without actually lifting her head she somehow managed to take it from me and gulp it down in one sip. Then she promptly stuck her head back into her arms. I chuckled to myself.

"Alright, come on. We'll get you upstairs." I scooped her up under the legs, supporting her with my other arm behind her back. Even after all these years, she was remarkably small, and so _light._ She mumbled something and nestled her burning forehead into my neck as I carried her upstairs to my room.

I gently set her onto my bed after pulling the covers back, but when I tried to stand up straight again, I found that I couldn't.

"…Uh. Kokone. Can you let go of my shirt?" She made a whining noise, and didn't let go. "Kone-chan!" I urged.

"Noooo…" she murmured. I sighed.

"You need to take better care of yourself. One day we'll find you passed out in your apartment, and you'll be too sick for us to do anything but take you to the hospital!" This appeared to barely register with her, as her eyes were still closed and she continued to cling to my chest.

"…Cold."

"You have a fever."

"Cold."

"Yes, you're _cold_ because you have a _fever,_" I confirmed.

"Mehhh…" she pulled me even closer to her, so that I would have been laying on top of her chest if I hadn't kept my balance.

"Okay, seriously. I have extra blankets, alright? But you shouldn't have too much heat around you because you already have a fever. Let go now…" She was so out of it; I was pretty sure my words were going through one ear and out the other.

"Here," She almost commanded.

"Here what?"

"Here. So _warm…_" My cheeks reddened slightly.

"You want me to _sleep here?_" I confirmed.

"Mmmmm," she hummed in agreement. She shivered and curled up in a ball. I exhaled the breath I didn't even realize I was holding.

"Alright, move over." I shifted her body closer to the wall, then laid next to her. She continued to cling to me like a koala.

"Chiro…" She sighed.

"Yes?"

"Haaaaa. Chiro." And then she was actually asleep.


	3. Chapter 3: Where Are My Pants?

_Kokawa Kokone's POV:_

"Hmmmmmm…" I hummed lightly, feeling myself become aware of my surroundings with every passing second. I opened my eyes, and promptly forgot where I was. I sat up on full alert mode, with sheets I didn't recognize pulled up to my chin. At least it wasn't really that cold anymore, I thought. I felt my forehead.

Ichiro had said I had a fever right? Well, it didn't feel like I had one now…

Then I remembered.

"…Oh." I commented out loud to the empty room. It was Ichiro's room, and I also recalled the presence of Ichiro…so where was he?

If I thought I didn't have a fever before, I certainly had a temporary one now; I felt myself blush as I remembered my desperate attempt to keep myself from possibly freezing to death. Then I heard cupboard doors being opened and closed from the kitchen downstairs, and almost felt my ears perk up like those of a dog.

"Chiro?" I called as I padded down the stairs. I ran a hand through my hair; it was really getting annoying now since I had let it grow out long again. When I reached the bottom of the stairs though, no one else was there but Shinichi, who looked up from filling his water glass curiously.

"He left. Said he was paged?"

"Oh. Where's Ran?"

"With Kazuha. Planning. Are you feeling better today?"

"Planning?" Then I gasped and reached out to grab his arm. "Omo! I completely forgot! Kudo, you _dog_, you! I never said congratulations to you two!"

"Woah there, calm down! It's fine, it's fine. You were sick, and even if you weren't I wouldn't expect you to overreact like _Kazuha _did…that was really the only part I was trying to prepare for." He laughed, and I smiled a dreamy smile that must have made him uneasy.

"…Quit looking at me like that."

"Kudo Shinichi. I'm very proud of you." I steadied him by grabbing both of his shoulders. "Really, I am."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Save the sappy talk for the actual wedding. You will come, right?"

"No, I'd much rather sit at home. Of _course_ I'll come, you numbskull!" I nudged him playfully before I grabbed a water glass for myself.

"Alright then."

"When's the wedding supposed to be?"

"…You know, I honestly have no idea." I raised my eyebrows and laughed.

"Well don't forget to show up."

"I'll try my best. Who knows what Ran and Kazuha will come up with…Are you off work today?" I nearly spit out my water.

"Shit." I reached for my pockets only to find…there were none. "What the -" I looked down.

…These were _definitely _not my pants. My face flushed crimson – half embarrassment, half curiosity, all fury.

"…Don't tell me he took off your pants?" Shinichi wondered aloud in astonishment. "I don't even attempt that kind of stuff with _Ran_ and we're getting _married!_"

"HE TOOK MY PANTS?" I shouted. Shinichi recoiled slightly. I scanned the room and found the home phone, snatching it out of its place before I jabbed Ichiro's phone number and pressed the talk button.

"Kudo-kun?" He answered on the third ring. "Hey, I can't really talk right now, but just so you know -"

"WHERE ARE MY PANTS YOU PERVERT." I demanded. Ichiro took a second to answer.

"Uhh…right. They're on my dresser. Didn't you see them?" I growled and hung up the phone, slamming it back down. I dashed past Shinichi and up the stairs, and sure enough, my pants were folded neatly with my cell phone set carefully next to it on his dresser. I grumbled to myself as I threw his ratty – but I have to admit, warm and undeniably comfortable – pajama pants onto the floor, just to spite him. After my pants were back on their rightful owner, I decided it was time to busy myself with something, like…

Oh shit, I need to call my boss, I thought, which quickly dissolved my anger as I dug out my phone and pressed it to my ear. The phone rang and rang as I rushed down the stairs, waving and mouthing a goodbye to Shinichi before I left.

However, when my boss answered happily as ever, I had to backtrack. He's not yelling…?

Apparently I had called in sick already, and had been wished a smooth, generous recovery. I sighed and hung up, deciding to head back to my apartment.

What does one do on days off? I thought to myself. Normally there's something important that I have to do because working itself keeps me from accomplishing these things, but there wasn't anything.

I later got a call from Kazuko's adoptive mother saying that her husband was off work today so they wouldn't need me to do anything. I frowned, but thanked them and hung up. Alright, I thought. Who else is there to distract myself with? What other tasks are there to do? I was sitting cross legged on my couch pondering this with my cell phone in my open palm when a noise that sounded an awful lot like a key being used to unlock my door sliced through my thoughts. Who in the world –

"Omma?" I asked once she stepped inside. She looked up in slight surprise, but only gave me strange look before entering my small kitchen with her various grocery bags. "Omma, what are you doing here?"

"I should be asking you the same question. Why aren't you working, you lazy bum?"

"…I had a pretty high fever last night."

"Oh?" She responded, seemingly uninterested.

"Yeah."

"Well. Kimchi, kimbap." She lifted things out of her bags and stuffed them in my fridge.

"Thanks."

"Go to work. It's not like you can do anything important or fulfilling at home anyway."

"Goodbye to you to," I mumbled. She left without reply. Well that killed about 5 minutes, I thought. What now?

I _could _go find Ran and Kazuha…but I honestly hated the kind of stuff they were probably doing so…

Ichiro was at work. I had left Shinichi alone. Woops. Heiji was probably at work too.

…Hyo Yeoung?

No. Don't be ridiculous.

But really…my mind persisted. Fine, I snapped back. I retrieved my phone and gave him a call.

Hyo Yeoung luckily answered the number he had called me on to schedule lunch the other day. We walked around and talked, caught up for a while. He suggested we stop and watch the sun set, which seemed a bit too romantic for our current relationship, I know, but all he wanted to do was draw it from a certain angle.

I watched him as he sketched lightly and perfectly. Unable to remove my eyes from his template to _watch _the actual sunset, I was mesmerized by his ability to put overwhelming beauty into seemingly normal, everyday things. He asked me a few prompting questions, but it was hard to focus on my answers, so we ended up letting silence reign for the duration of our stay.

I jumped a bit when my phone suddenly rang from my back pocket. After digging it out, I looked at the screen: Ichiro.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Uh – ahem – hey. S-Sorry about this morning, I guess. Well really, last night, but…you kept telling me you were _freezing _in your sleep and…well…I wasn't sure if you wanted to wake up that way -"

"Hey, it's fine. I overreacted this morning. I honestly don't care _that _much if you see me…" I trailed off, glancing at Hyo Yeoung, who was casually focused on his drawing still.

"…what." was his response.

"Don't say it like that! I'm completely over it. At this point, does it _really _matter? You're a doctor, right? As it is, I don't think I'd actually be that mad if you saw me naked."

…Did I just say that? Hyo Yeoung glanced at me cautiously as he erased a random mark he had just made by accident. Ichiro didn't answer for a second.

"…Oh…kay. Well, if you're not mad, I guess I'll see you later then…what are you doing?"

"Hanging out with Hyo Yeoung-ssi. What about you?"

"Oh." His tone had turned sour. "Hattori, Kudo and I are just hanging around my house. I'll leave you to that then, see you -"

"Ichiro, don't be that way," I said tiredly. "Thanks to you I had _nothing _to do today. And besides, Hyo Yeoung is my friend anyway."

"Yeah I know. I'll let you go though."

"Okay…see you."

"Bye." He hung up first.

"…I guess I should be going. I have to work tomorrow, and all." I stood up and stretched. He looked up at me with a light smile.

"Okay. See you later."

"You're not coming?"

"I'm going to finish the sketch first."

"Oh…alright. I'll see you, then. Annyeoung," I waved as I turned to leave. He replied with the same thing, but turned back to his drawing, completely absorbed. Who would have known, I thought. All this time, he was an artist. I wondered what else I could possibly not know about him as I walked home.


	4. Chapter 4: Abduction

Yesterday had been a pretty mild, nice day.

Today was a _completely _different story.

First off, I woke up a lot later than usual. As I rushed out the door, I tripped onto my doormat and spilled my coffee, which was one of the only things that was keeping me awake.

I had had one of those dreams again the night before. Though they were increasingly uncommon over time, when I did have them, they were particularly vicious. I woke up screaming, but only because the floor beneath me was vibrating courtesy of my downstairs neighbor's impatience with noise. I was convinced he had a particular broom that he used specifically for jabbing my ceiling.

I had been underwater. It was going deeper, deeper, deeper still, until the pressure made me want to explode.

I couldn't be sure if that's what actually ended up happening in the dream, but either way I ended up dead. So it goes.

When I got to work I was immediately called to examine the scene of a pretty brutal murder that had been discovered in the hours that I was struggling to get to work and make up for lost time, so I had to leave right off.

I arrived at the scene, and gulped involuntarily. Gunshots, I thought to myself. I could smell the powder in the air, which means there were definitely a lot. Heiji came over and greeted me before giving me the details.

This part seemed completely normal, but the _whole entire time_ there was this ridiculous fly zooming around my head that was virtually impossible to kill. I had showered that morning, so why was this damn bug following me around? Every time I thought I had him killed or at least scared him away, he came back for a second and then abruptly disappeared, not only annoying the _hell _out of me, but also making me look like a registered psychopath.

I went by normal protocol, took samples, examined the body, bagged things up. Now all I need to do is spend the rest of the day in the lab. In order to make up for the time I had been out that morning, I stayed behind while everyone else on my floor went to lunch.

I sighed warily as I examined the cell structure of a rather inconclusive piece of evidence that I still hadn't quite figured out. My eyes bugged out from looking at it for so long, so I pulled back and rubbed my face. Water, I thought. Maybe there'll be something to eat in the lounge's fridge. Just a quick break.

I gasped when I nearly ran into a big, burly man that looked pretty…well…murderous, actually. His eyes blazed with fury, and he had his hands balled up into fists.

"H-hello, sir. Can I help you with something?" He observed me carefully, leaning in to get a good look at my face before he wrenched me up into the air by the collar of my lab coat. I struggled against his grip and he growled with vengeance.

"You let that bastard get out of what he did to my wife." My eyes widened; who the hell was this guy?

"L-Let – me go." I rasped, and I managed to kick him where it hurts. He dropped me to the floor and I sprang up to reach the nearest phone. Just as I finished dialing 110, however, he was behind me again.

"You'd better come with me, you filthy skank." His voice rumbled with such a low timbre that I had no idea how to respond to such intimidation. My stomach did burn with the skank comment though, so I retaliated.

"_You'd _better watch your mouth." I launched a good, solid punch into his gut, to which he 'oomfed' uncomfortably. I reached for the phone again and pressed it to my ear. "Hello? Hello, I need someone to send -" the man kicked me in the back hard enough to send me straight into the wall. I crumpled to the floor, the breath completely knocked out of me as the phone hung from its receiver idly. Distantly, I could hear the 110 operator calling _hello? Hello? Miss? Is everything all right?_

"I'll let it go for now, since you're quite the beauty. But that behavior doesn't go over well with me, so you'd better learn pretty fast. My wife certainly did."

"W-What did I _do?_" I cried, completely exasperated.

"What did you DO? YOU LET MY WIFE DIE UNRECOGNIZED, DAMMIT. THE MAN THAT KILLED HER OUT OF JEALOUSY WAS NEVER PROVEN GUILTY BECAUSE THERE WASN'T ANY CONCLUSIVE EVIDENCE. SOUND FAMILIAR?" He bellowed this at me hotly, while I remained on the ground, not entirely sure what to do at this point. Though I certainly had my strength, this man was at least a foot and a half taller than me, and was quite possible 4 times as wide.

"You need to calm down, sir. Everything will be fine, but you need to _stop this now,_" I emphasized sternly. His nostrils flared before he grabbed me roughly by the wrist and began to drag me along violently towards the exit.

"You're comin' with me. We're going to take care of this nonsense. You WILL find conclusive evidence, GOT IT?"

"N-No!" I protested, yanking against him; he wasn't about to let go. "LET GO, ASSHOLE." I screamed. He reached around and wrenched my arm behind my back, lifting me up to a standing position while also nearly breaking my arm.

"AAAACK -" I winced in pain. He pushed me ahead of him.

"You know what I said about that kind of talk."

Today _definitely _wasn't a good day.

_Ogawa Ichiro's POV:_

"Ogawa-sensei, could you check with this patient really quick? I haven't gone to the bathroom _all day._" M coworker, Suzuki Kiyomi begged earnestly.

"Uh – sure. Where?" She pointed at the room, and I went to check it out. Inside was a man of about 50 years, with a tube attached to his nose that helped him breathe.

"Hello sir." I picked up the chart that hung on the end of his bed and glanced at it. "Mr. Kiyomizo. How are you doing today?"

"I'm alright," he answered lazily, patting his thighs. "I'm telling you doctors, I'm perfectly fine to go back to work."

"It says here you had a heart attack not more than 2 days ago, sir," I objected, taking my stethoscope from around my neck to listen to his heart and lungs.

"The Kiyomizu family has always been a strong one. Heart attacks can't kill us!"

"So your family has a history of heart attacks then? Heart disease maybe?"

"I suppose you could say that."

"Well you seem alright for now. I'll send my resident in to evaluate in a bit, okay? Just relax and don't have any more heart attacks." He smiled at me as I left the room.

Just another day in the hospital, I thought. I glanced at the clock as I walked down the hallway towards one of the receptionist desks on this floor: it was 7 at night.

I had already dealt with the emergency I was paged for, which ended up lasting nearly all day, and I had also helped out my coworkers…

Time to go home, I decided. After grabbing my stuff and changing out of my scrubs, I walked out of the entrance to the hospital.

…And was promptly greeted by none other than Hattori Heiji.

"Ichiro-san! I've been looking for you! Don't you answer your phone anymore?"

"…Not when I'm working, genius." He shot me a look.

"Something happened to Kokone." My eyes widened.

"What? What's wrong?"

"She's been missing since about 1 this afternoon. There was a call to the 110 operators – they played me the recording. It sounded like someone was threatening her and ended up taking her somewhere. All we have to go by is a voice right now."

"Well aren't there cameras in the front of the building? See who entered last!"

"…The problem with that is that no one entered through the front at the time of the call. A group of people left, but they all work there and were going out for lunch. Come on, Kudo and I are already working on the case." I followed him as we ran to his car.

Once we reached the headquarters, Kudo was already sitting in front of Heiji's computer, listening attentively.

"_Hello, I need someone to send -"_ a loud crash ensued.

"_I'll let it go for now, since you're quite the beauty. But that behavior doesn't go over well with me, so you'd better learn pretty fast. My wife certainly did."_

"_W-What did I do?"_

"_What did you DO? YOU LET MY WIFE DIE UNRECOGNIZED, DAMMIT. THE MAN THAT KILLED HER OUT OF JEALOUSY WAS NEVER PROVEN GUILTY BECAUSE THERE WASN'T ANY CONCLUSIVE EVIDENCE. SOUND FAMILIAR?"_

"_You need to calm down, sir. Everything will be fine, but you need to _stop this now_,"_

"_You're comin' with me. We're going to take care of this nonsense. You WILL find conclusive evidence, GOT IT?"_

_ "N-No! LET GO, ASSHOLE. AAAACK -"_

_ "You know what I said about that kind of talk."_

Silence.

"Any luck?" Heiji asked earnestly.

"His case seems distinctly vague. I'm not sure we can identify it."

"Yeah I don't really remember this case at all. There has been more than one case in which the murderer doesn't have enough evidence to be put in jail."

"Have you been to the place it happened at?" I asked.

"The crime lab? Yeah, I went there. Do you guys want to see?" Just as we were about to get up and follow him back to his car, there was a phone call.

"Hello, Osaka Prefecture." a female officer answered. "_Ahhhh?_ Hattori-keiji!" She held out the phone to him, a panicked look on her face.

"This is Hattori Heiji." He was calm at first, but then his expression turned to rage. "_Where is she?_" he seethed. "A le?" He looked at the phone in confusion, then handed it back to the female officer.

"He wants us to put someone in jail for him. This guy isn't all that bright, I'm guessing." He shook his head. "Someone find the location of that number, I'll look up the case." Heiji returned to his computer and typed a few things in.

"Is she alright?" I asked. He glanced up for a moment.

"…We need to find her." I didn't like that answer. I couldn't even describe what I was feeling during all of this, because there were no words. There never were when it came to Kokone's everlasting ability to get into trouble. All I knew was that this guy was _probably _going to be beaten to a pulp if she ever got the chance, and that thought brought a tiny bit of hope to my currently frazzled state of mind.

"Ahh, here we are. This guy is so dumb. Hey, did you find where that number came from?" He called out to that female officer. She nodded, and came over to hand him the address written on a slip of paper. Looking back and forth between the computer and the paper, he finally grinned that determined and egotistical grin of his.

"This is it. Alright, let's go. We'll need a few cars for back up!" He said to no one in particular. People started to get up and follow him out the door to their cars. Kudo was close to Heiji as they discussed how they would approach the situation, while I was trailing behind.

Everything was a blur of sirens and flashing lights as 4 cop cars in total sped down random streets leading to a roughed up looking home that was separated from the actual city, so it seemed. When we surrounded the house, the guy immediately opened his door to check out the source of all the noise. Everyone piled out of their cars, a few with their guns aimed at the man.

"You're under arrest for abduction, Aoki-san!" Hattori yelled with a smirk on his face. He just loved to win. "Get on the ground and put your hands behind your head!" The man didn't obey, but was being closely surrounded by various police officers that had to fight to get him cuffed. I couldn't wait any longer.

"Ichiro-san!" Kudo called after me. I didn't check to see if they were following me as I pushed through the crowd of police officers attempting to get the brute to cooperate. The house was a mess, and smelled of rotten food. I scrunched up my nose and surveyed the living room. It was dark, but there were clothes that obviously did _not _belong to any male – especially of this guy's size – lying on the floor in heaps. My insides simmered.

I heard water running, but it wasn't just a sink. More like a bathtub, I guessed. _A bathtub?_

"Kokone?" I called in exasperation. I barely missed tripping on her lab coat as I hurried towards the noise. Her pants, and then her shirt made a trail towards what I assumed was the bathroom. The door was locked.

"Ichiro, you should have -" Heiji started, almost scolding me. I wasn't really paying attention though, and proceeded to ram the door open with my shoulder. Sure enough, the bathtub water was running, and there she was.

Her mouth was taped shut, and her arms were tied in front of her so that they formed an X symbol, as if she were warding off evil. Her eyes were closed, and she was pale. The water was at her shoulders now, but she appeared to have already taken a dip in the water, as her bangs were plastered to her face. She lay limply against the wall, only moving by the water's will.

"Kokone!" I gasped, rushing forward. I turned off the water and reached in to pull her out. Ironic, I thought in the back of my head. She had said she didn't care if I saw her naked, and now she almost was, with only her bra and underwear on. I had her cradled against me as I tried to wake her up.

"Hey, wake up. Kokone!" I stuck my fingers against her neck and felt her pulse; it was rapid and uneven, but that was typical of her condition. "Hey, come on now!" I pulled the tape off as gently as possible, and now she was starting to come to. She moaned for a second, then her eyes flew open and she coughed up water. She was shaking.

"Can I get some blankets or something?" I yelled out to no one in particular. I looked up to find Heiji, Shinichi and another female officer ready to help out.

"C-Couldn't f-f-find the e-evidence," she whispered, her teeth chattering.

"You'll be alright, you're just cold. Does anything hurt?" My shirt and part of my pants were soaked, but I hardly noticed.

"H-He wants t-t-to k-kill someone."

"Who? Who does he want to kill?" She shook her head and coughed again.

"Here, I had some blankets in my car," The female officer from before came over and knelt to our level, holding a neat stack of them out.

"Thanks," I said as I took one and shook it out, wrapping it around Kokone as best as I could while I was still holding her. "Hey, Kokone, does anything hurt? Did anything happen?" She shook her head, but winced as I shifted her around.

"What hurts?"

"N-N-Nothing. Where is h-he?" She asked. She was becoming more aware of her surroundings I noticed, and with this awareness came anger.

"He's being arrested, don't even worry about him." She struggled against me and got up with the blanket still tightly wrapped around her, then shoved her way through Heiji and Shinichi, who were both a little red in the face from embarrassment. We followed her out there.

The man was about to be shoved into the cop car when Kokone got out there, holding her clothes that she picked up angrily on her way out.

"You good for nothing, piece of – I OUGHT TO THROTTLE YOU," she screamed. The officers looked at her like she was insane, while the man just grumbled something in return. "KIDNAPPING ME _AND_ TAKING MY CLOTHES OFF? I HOPE YOU ROT IN JAIL, YOU BASTARD." She threw a series of other, rather _colorful_ Korean curses that even I had never even heard before as she strode over to him, kneed him in the crotch and gave him a good punch in the side. He crumpled the ground, and she was about to deal another blow to him when I grabbed her shoulders.

"Okay, he's going to jail," I urged. She fought against me, and I tried to keep her blanket tight around her; it was starting to fall off. "Let's go now, come on." She continued to speak in her native language, but I only caught a few words that I'd rather not repeat.

"Hattori, can you drive us back to her apartment?"

"Uh – yeah, sure." He and Kudo were trying to avert their eyes, even though Kokone was covered up for the most part. She huffed and puffed as she got into the car, slamming the door behind her. I got in on the other side while Heiji and Shinichi took the front two seats.

"Giving me crap about his stupid wife and her stupid love affair. Why are men so STUPID." She let the blanket fall as she slid her shirt put on her blue button up shirt. I tried not to look but…

Give me a break, I have hormones. Next she struggled to get her pants on while still seated.

"Men are PIGS. DIRTY, FILTHY, DIGUSTING PIGS." Everyone stayed silent, unsure what to say. We were all men besides her, but it's not like we could actually object to what she was saying after what we just witnessed.

"So you're alright then?" I checked.

"I am woop-dee-FREAKIN PERFECT." I took that as a yes. She suddenly swatted at something in the air. "AND THIS DAMN FLY. I'M ABOUT TO HIT SOMETHING." I unconsciously scooted away. Heiji was trying not to laugh.

"What's so funny, Heiji!" He bit his lip to keep from smiling. "And Kudo, get a grip, it's not like I haven't seen _you _naked…" She crossed her arms and looked out the window, still blazing. Heiji couldn't handle it any longer as he burst into laughter.


	5. Chapter 5: Losing Control

I thanked Heiji calmly and apologized for Kokone's behavior as she stalked up the steps and into her apartment building ahead of me. She was still angry as _hell_, but how else does one respond to a day such as this one? It could have been worse, I thought. She could be in one of those states of depression that was reinforced by events such as these. In a way, I was thankful that she was mad.

Without a word, we got up to her apartment, and she didn't seem to care that I followed her inside. Still cursing under her breath, she flung her lab coat at nothing in particular before heading into her room to change. I sighed, picking up the lab coat and folding it before placing it on the kitchen counter.

"I have food," She said, suddenly a lot more composed and civilized. "If you're hungry."

"I'm fine. What about you?"

"I'm too nauseated to eat," she grumbled. She went to sit on her brown, cheap (yet comfortable, I speak from experience) couch, bringing her knees to her chest and her hands to her face.

"You alright?" I asked, stepping closer to the couch. She didn't answer at first, just took a deep breath and removed her hands as she stared at her knees.

"Pretty crappy day."

"I'll say."

"It's not even…God, I don't know."

"You mean something _worse _than being kidnapped and nearly killed by some nasty jerk happened?" She cracked a crooked smile. Score, I thought to myself.

"Not necessarily. Leading up to the actual abduction wasn't significantly better though. And there was a LOT of down time between the time he brought me to his house and the time he stuck me in the bathtub."

"…So you're saying you were just really, really bored." Of course she would say something so ridiculous, I thought. Until…

"Well no, actually. I mean, yes _and _no. I was bored, therefore I thought. A lot. God I hate thinking." I had to emit a cackle at this.

"What did you think about?" I took a seat beside her. She turned and adjusted her legs so that she was now cross legged.

"My life. Everyone. Everything."

"All that in 5 hours? Wow. Must not be a lot to think about, then."

"But it _was._ I don't know, Chiro. I just…I don't like to think about those things, and whenever I do…it always seems like a lot."

"Because it is."

"I suppose."

"Anything in particular…?"

"Well…Hey, you know what? I want some kimbap." She got up abruptly and went to the kitchen. I watched in confusion before following her, but didn't bother to catch up since I was…enjoying the view. She was, after all, only wearing shorts and a t-shirt.

Don't judge me.

She reached into her fridge and pulled out the roll of kimbap, setting it on the counter as she reached for a knife.

"Don't try to change the subject." She looked up at me innocently.

"I just…" She bit her lip, then set down the knife and turned to me deliberately. "Do you ever think about us?" Oh, I thought. Uh. Only all the time. Out loud though, I said something different.

"Well, sure. I guess. Do you?"

"I did. Today."

"Oh right. Stupid question."

"So anyway…what are we?" She hopped up onto the counter to where her feet dangled as she leaned back on her palms.

"What are we?"

"Yeah." I drew a blank.

"…What do you want to be?"

"What do _you _want to be?" she repeated childishly. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

"I asked you first."

"I asked you second." I could see where this was going, and it was bound to take a ridiculously immature turn. I sighed.

"We can be anything you want to be. Within reason."

"Well we definitely aren't _just friends…_Or did I imagine those kisses?" She looked like she was honestly curious, and I felt my face get hot.

"Certainly not."

"Okay then. So what exactly are we if we aren't…friends?"

"I guess the next step is…boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"Is that the next step?" She seemed uncomfortable with this idea.

"If you want it to be, sure." I could already sense her backtracking; she wasn't one for this kind of commitment, however small it may seem to anyone else.

"…I think I do." I don't know why, but this surprised me.

"Really?"

"Really." I stepped a bit closer and placed my hands on her knees. She sat forward and regarded me carefully.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course." Another inch closer.

"Positive?"

"Positively." She was smiling now, and we were close enough that she was able to wrap her arms around my neck loosely.

"So we've come to an agreement, I suppose." She didn't seem to mind that my hands were sliding up her thighs inch by inch with every question or statement.

"Indeed." She leaned in closer, and before I knew it, we were kissing.

Though we had kissed before, this seemed entirely different. Our previous lip-locking had been sweet and careful, and now…Now, it was almost violent.

It takes two to tango however, so I couldn't possibly place all this blame on her. I felt like my skin was on fire, and when she parted her lips and sighed, I nearly passed out. _This is so good,_ I thought. _Too good._ I pulled away for a second and trailed kisses down to her neck. Her fingers were tangled in my hair. We were leaning over now, and I was supporting her lower back as I found a particularly sensitive spot of skin that made her gasp. Grinning in success, my face was pulled back up to kiss once again with passion.

Surprising me completely, she wrapped her legs around me waist to get closer, if that were possible. I took this invitation after a second and reached behind her to pick her up. She continued to hold my face with earnest as I walked us over to the couch.

I gently set her onto her back and hovered above her, still kissing feverishly. With this position, I had even better access than before, and now moved back down to her neck. After successfully getting her to coo softly, I made another trail to her collarbone, moving her sleeve out of the way to get to her shoulder. She smelled unbelievably heavenly of flowers. She tugged on my head and pulled me back up, yet again, and the cycle continued.

I couldn't even think straight. What was going on? This was fantastic – no, _beyond_ fantastic. There weren't any words. I thought of how we had just decided upon calling ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend, and sighed contentedly at the thought of being able to date her, have a normal relationship, maybe even –

I froze. She noticed immediately, and fell back onto the couch, waiting for something to happen.

"…Chiro?" She asked shakily. We were both breathing rapidly from lack of oxygen. I was still balanced above her until I got up to sit on the other end of the couch, placing my head in my hands as I tried to rub my eyes in an effort to regain the logical aspect of my brain. She sat up on her elbows.

"Chiro? Ichiro, what's wrong?"

"This. We can't do this yet."

"…Why? What do you mean?" She looked slightly hurt by my words, and I regretted how it sounded, but there was no other way to say it.

"That could have gone a _lot _farther, Kokone. We haven't even been on an actual _date _yet. It has nothing to do with -" I looked at her, her breathtaking face staring at me in wonder with her shirtsleeve hanging off of her bare shoulder, courtesy of me. It took everything in me not to leap up and start at the beginning again. "_Nothing _to do with you in particular, trust me."

"… I guess that's true," she admitted, a little disappointed. "So does that mean…?"

"They gave you week off for work, right?" She made a face.

"Unfortunately."

"Then I can take you out sometime this week, alright? I'll have to figure out my schedule. It's pretty uh…well, let's just say saving lives is taking up most of my free time right now." I smiled at her as I got up to leave. She shifted herself so that she could follow me.

"Okay then." We were at the door now. I looked down to focus on putting my shoes on the right feet, since my head was still fuzzy from all of that kissing. I looked at her again as I reached for the door knob. I couldn't help but smile.

"What?" She asked, smiling too.

"Nothing. Nothing at all." I reached up and held her face securely with both hands before I planted a kiss on her forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"…Annyeoung…" she said, dazed. I shut the door and breathed quietly for a minute on her doorstep.

Because I honestly loved this girl with everything in my heart.


	6. Chapter 6: Controversial Bruising

_Kokawa Kokone's POV:_

I couldn't sleep that night. Everything felt so _alive._ My stomach exploded with butterflies anytime I thought of Ichiro's kisses, which was basically all night. I felt like some pathetic little girl as I giggled and rolled around in my bed with happiness.

I eventually fell asleep sometime after 4 in the morning, and proceeded to sleep until 1 in the afternoon. It was a blissful, dreamless sleep that only made my day that much better.

Though this was normally not the case, I was pleased with the fact that my boss gave me a week off from work in compensation for me almost being killed by some angry jerk-wad. I cut up some of my mom's kimbap and popped the pieces into my mouth, humming tunelessly all the way.

2 o'clock, I thought to myself. I should see if everyone is hanging out at Ichiro's house.

I wore jeans and a light blue camisole since it was such a nice day outside. The sun seemed to make the entire world glitter around me as I took the liberty to walk to Ichiro's instead of driving.

"Helloooo?" I called after I opened the door. Judo bounded over to greet me. "Hey there, boy!" I bent down to scratch his neck. "What have you been up to?"

"…Why are you talking to the dog?" My head snapped up, and there was Shinichi with a dull look on his face, a half-peeled banana in his hand. I smiled and stood up to join him in the kitchen. Sitting at the table were Ran and Kazuha, and they were hovering over some magazine. Judo followed me obediently. The girls looked up at me and broke into equally happy grins.

"You seem happy and well today, Kokone-chan! We heard about what happened to you last night. You're feeling better then?" Ran asked earnestly.

"Mmmmmmhm!" I hummed contentedly.

"W-Well that's great!" They seemed unsure, and I supposed they had a right to be. I was never this buoyant. I realized just how Kazuha/Ran-esque I was acting at that moment and told myself to tone it down a little bit.

"What are you guys doing?"

"Looking at bridal gowns. We're forcing Kudo-kun to stay over there." I glanced over at him and sure enough, he was in the corner, eating his banana with a rather disgruntled and bored look on his face.

"Oh! Kokone-chan!" Ran suddenly piped. I raised my eyebrows.

"Hm?"

"I forgot until now – do you think…"

"…Yes?"

"Do you think you could sing at our wedding? With Ichiro-san?" My eyes nearly popped out my head.

"You want us to _sing _at your _wedding?_" I looked over at Kudo for confirmation, but he responded with a shrug and a look that suggested 'I don't know what the hell is going on.'

"Of course! You have a lovely voice, Kokone-chan! You and Ogawa-san both, especially together…" she trailed off as she appeared to think about something, a dreamy look on her face.

"…Well sure. We can do that. Anything in particular you want us to sing?"

"Just make it appropriate for the theme," Kazuha said, all business.

"What's the theme?" I asked, confused.

"Love! Unity! Forever!" Ooookay, I thought. This was a bit too ooey-gooey for my taste. I leaned away from her, and Shinichi snorted.

"Oh, so you _don't _want me to sing about heartache and death? Damn," I snapped my fingers as if it were just so unfortunate, and Kazuha scowled at me. "I'm just kidding. Don't worry, we have plenty of songs for this occasion. We'll take care of everything, just tell us where and when." Ran smiled gratefully.

"Thank you so much, Kokone-chan!"

"No problem." I moved towards the fridge to see if there was anything worth eating, suddenly hungry as I hummed to myself, already thinking of songs we could choose. A perfectly pink-red apple sat alone on one side of his fridge, and I gladly took it.

"Oi! What's on your -" Shinichi exclaimed suddenly before breaking off. I looked at him, my eyebrows pulling together in bewilderment.

"Huh?" I watched as a slow grin of realization spread across his face. "Why are you looking at me like that? Ran, what's wrong with your husband-to-be?"

"…I'm not sure. Shinichi - ?"

"You have a _hickey._" I gasped slightly at this accusation, automatically reaching up to touch the areas that Ichiro had…well, for lack of better words, _grazed. _Kazuha and Ran shared synchronized gasps in astonishment.

"You WHAT?" Kazuha nearly shouted.

"Kokone-chan! With who?" Ran demanded. My face was getting hot.

"Why, none other than Ichiro-san, ne?" Shinichi gloated, taking another bite of his banana. I shot him a death glare.

"None of our business…" I mumbled.

"Are you and Ichiro-san…?" Kazuha started. She glanced at Shinichi, who was obliviously observing his banana. "Kudo-kun, go buy more fruit!" she demanded. He looked up in surprise.

"What? No! I'm not going to go buy food when _clearly -_"

"Go!" She got up and ushered him out the door, locking it behind him. Then she came back and pushed me into a chair, taking her seat again. Both of them stared at me in wonder, waiting for me to explain.

"Quit looking at me like that!" I whined, trying to hide the evidence.

"Did you and Ichiro-san…?"

"You know…" It was like they were one mind. One girly, nosey mind.

"Of course not!" My face got even hotter, if that were possible.

"Then why -"

"Are you two together now or something?"

"…Yes," I admitted sheepishly. They both squealed, causing me to jump while Judo's ears perked up from where he was sitting by my feet.

"How did it happen!"

"Where were you!"

"Were you guys _about _to do it?"

"Is he taking you out tonight?" I held up my hands, trying to get them to calm down, noticing out of the corner of my eye that Shinichi was outside the kitchen window above the sink behind them, still eating his banana with a curious, yet innocent look on his face.

"Okay. I don't know, my apartment, no, and I don't know. Again."

"Ahhh this is so GREAT!" Ran cried, reaching out to touch my arm in encouragement.

"Y-Yeah…I guess…"

"What do you mean you guess? Ahhhh, you two are so lucky." Kazuha went back to flipping through the magazine, an almost sad look on her face.

"Kazuha-chan, I'm sure Hattori-kun means well. He's probably just shy…" Ran tried to reassure her. I snickered.

"Yeah, Heiji's a coward. I speak from work experience. He once made me fire one of his assistants for him. I guess I'll have to force him to come around, neee?" Kazuha blushed.

"Don't do _that_. If he doesn't want to, he doesn't want to. It's as simple as that." She sighed, then looked out the window. Outside, Shinichi raised an eyebrow, apparently uninterested, before coming to the back door. He knocked once to gain everyone's attention.

"…Can I come in now?" Ran smiled and got up to let him in.

"And why should I let you in?" She teased, her hand on the door handle. Through the screen, Kudo's face was a little jumbled.

"Uh…because I love you?" he tried. This answer seemed to please Ran, as she willingly opened the door with a giggle.

They were undoubtedly the happiest couple I had ever seen. I had to wonder…would Ichiro and I ever be like that? I shuddered at the thought. I'd better get a grip and quit acting like some frilly flower before it's too late, I thought to myself.

And yet, I envied them. I could see where Kazuha was coming from on this vantage point, and wondered distantly how much Ichiro had thought of last night since everything happened.

As if on cue, the front door opened and closed, followed by a "Tadaimaaa!" We all looked up to watch as Ichiro came in through the kitchen archway.

"Hello, Ichiro-san! How was your day at work?" Ran asked politely.

"Fine. What have you guys been doing all day?" He reached into the refrigerator and pulled out a water bottle. He looked confused for a moment, glanced up at my hand, and sighed.

"Just hanging around here. Are you on call tonight?" Shinichi asked as he threw his banana peel away.

"Yep. Hey, you little thief." He was looking at me as he said this. I pointed to myself and swallowed before asking.

"Who, me? Why am I a thief?"

"Maybe because you stole his heart," Kazuha teased. I whipped around and gave her a look that suggested violence and made her jump while everyone else laughed.

"_No,_ because you stole my _apple_," Ichiro corrected.

"Oh. Woops…it's a pretty good apple, I have to say." He sighed dejectedly.

"I know, which is why I was saving it."

"Here, have the rest." I held the half-eaten apple out for him.

"You've already eaten half of it!" He objected, coming over to greet Judo.

"Well fine then, suit yourself." I twisted back around in my chair to face the girls again. No one was really paying much attention to us; Shinichi played with Ran's fingers while Kazuha flipped through the magazine and pointed at certain pictures, asking questions about things I didn't know about.

Out of nowhere, something poked my back. Coincidentally, right where the bruising was the worst from that brutal kick I had received the day before. I winced and dropped the apple, but it was caught easily by Ichiro, who was now leaning on my chair.

"Success!" He jeered for a second. "…Are you okay?"

"Fine," I promised, pressing on my back gently to see how big the bruise actually was. "Just a bruise."

"From what?" He reached down cautiously to pull my shirt up, but I swatted his hand away.

"That guy. What was his name? Aoki-san.? Yeah, turns out he kicks pretty hard." Ichiro didn't even wait to swallow the bite of apple he had just taken before responding.

"He kicked you? Kokone, let me see," he insisted.

"It's fine, really. It'll be gone in a few days, calm down!" I smiled up at him through my grimacing and got up so I could properly face him.

"…Well I'm sorry I poked it."

"It's _fine. _Oh hey, by the way, we're singing at the wedding."

"The wedding? Really?" He looked over at Ran, who looked up and nodded with a grin.

"Really. It'll be fun, ah?"

"Sure, sure." Now I stood near the entrance of the kitchen, casually leaned against the counter. I hadn't even noticed, but Heiji had come through the front door and was now standing behind me.

"I have to tell you, I _hate _not having you do my forensic work. Woah, what's _your_ problem?" He had reached forward and elbowed me right in the back, causing me to arch and reach back uncomfortably. I whirled around and smacked him. "Hey! I just got here, what could I have done?" Of all the possibilities, he just _had _to hit me there.

"Alright, let me see," Ichiro resolved. Now I had to spin back around to defend myself on that side.

"No!"

"See what?" Heiji wondered.

"Nothing," I insisted.

"Kokone-chaaan, what's wrong with your back?" Kazuha asked worriedly. I let out a heated sigh. Why couldn't everyone just mind their own business?

"Kokone, I _will_ pin you to the ground and look at it either way, so you have the option to save yourself the embarrassment if you turn around and let me look."

"You think you can pin me?" I found this hilarious for some reason, which caused Ichiro to scowl. As if to prove his point he reached forward and nabbed both of my wrists, pulling me forward and spreading me out so he could have enough leverage to tackle me.

"Hey hey hey!" I protested, fighting against him. "So help me God, Ichiro -" I grunted and swung my arms in and around so that I was in position to flip him. I smirked in success.

"Ow, ow, ow -"

"Now, I can flip you, or I can let go and keep my shirt on. Which would you prefer?" Ichiro cussed and I laughed, letting go to head back to the table.

"Ichiro-san," Heiji laughed loudly. "Kokone could _totally _kick your ass."

"I'm pretty sure she could do the same to you, Hattori," Shinichi pointed out. Everyone laughed and the conversation picked up in separate places from there. Eventually Ran and Shinichi left to go out for dinner, followed by Heiji and Kazuha, who both claimed they had better things to do then hang around each other. It was just Ichiro and me left.

This entire time, my brain was nagging me about the bruise. It couldn't look _that _bad, could it? I told myself repeatedly that I didn't need to get worked up about it, but I couldn't get over it completely. As if to punctuate this, my back started to throb dully.

"So…should we…do something?" Ichiro asked carefully.

"Do something?"

"Yeah. I said I'd take you somewhere, right? Do you want to? You know. Go somewhere?" I had to crack a smile at his nervousness. He was leaning casually against the sink while I sat with my knees pulled to my chest in my chair.

"I'd love that."

"Okay then, where do you want to go?"

"…No idea." He snickered and walked over.

"We could….go for a walk? We could -"

"Will you look at my back?" I blurted out. He rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Alright, come here. Taku, why do you have to be so stubborn…" I got up and turned away from him, lifting my shirt up slightly so he could see.

"_Shit_, Kokone. This is pretty bad bruising here." His fingers felt the bruise lightly.

"What color is it?" I asked.

"Well, black. Blue. Mostly blue. Ice won't do much for it now since it happened yesterday…I mean, I know a few things that might help, but really -"

"It's pretty inconvenient, so please. _Anything_."

"Hmm. Well the blood flow needs to be diverted, so I could try to massage it around…" "OW!" I inhaled sharply through my teeth when he pushed slightly harder.

"Yeah, that's the only problem with that idea."

"What do you do for patients in the hospital?"

"…People typically don't come to the hospital for just a bruise. I guess I could just give you a pain killer, but that won't do so much in terms of healing it."

"Nah, I'm alright. I think I'll just go lay down for a little bit." I pulled my shirt back down and started for the living room couch.

"Hey, wait!" Ichiro said suddenly. I turned around at the entrance, confused.

"Hm?" He grinned mischievously and came towards me. "Ah-ah-ah! You left evidence last time." He was only inches away, his arms encircling my waist carefully. He cocked his head to the side and observed, raising his eyebrows.

"…So it seems. Does it really matter?" He was even closer now, whispering in my ear. I shivered. Wait, had he asked me a question? Thinking was basically impossible at the moment. Come on, what was the question? "Hmmm?" He prompted in a low hum.

"No. No, it doesn't," I decided.

And the cycle began once again.

AN: A rather fluffy, cutesy chapter, I have to admit. But have no fear, I shall introduce the next major plot line soon enough! Hope you have enjoyed so far ^^


	7. Chapter 7: Will You Marry Me Indirectly?

It had already been 4 months. The days were flying by, and one day I had to stop what I was doing and think about it.

"Kokone? You coming?" I looked up at Ichiro, who was holding my hand tightly, looking back at me curiously.

"It's been 4 months." He turned all the way around, his eyebrows knitting together.

"Since…?"

"Since we started this. And it's been 3 months since the wedding." He smiled, still looking confused as he reached up and stroked my cheek.

"So? Oh, shoot. Did you want to do something special or…?"

"No, no. I was just thinking."

"Well we should probably get going if we're going to meet up with Heiji and Kazuha."

"Right. Okay."

I thought about a lot on the way to the restaurant. First, the wedding.

_ There were white, beautiful gardenias lining the aisles as well as every other available surface. Hoards of people I didn't know attempted to greet me. Needless to say, I was uncomfortable. Large groups of strangers had always made me feel claustrophobic, so this definitely wasn't the best situation for me to be in._

_ But anyway, the ceremony was rather traditional, and when Ran walked down the aisle with her father linked to her tightly, a nervous and panicked look on his face, Shinichi glowed like the moon. She was beautiful, there was no doubt. Everyone cooed and some even cried._

_ Ichiro and I played what we planned to at the reception, nothing seemed to go wrong at all. We even went through with our surprise: singing Amazing Grace as a tribute to Ran and Shinichi's everlasting love._

_ Blah, blah, blah. All that crap._

_ Anyway, there was alcohol, as there usually is at these types of events. I politely refused every time someone offered me some, and was about to do the same thing to a rather relaxed looking guy._

_ "Hey there. How do you know the bride and groom?" I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. How many times had I been asked this question?_

_ "We're close. What about you?" Standard answer that didn't suggest interest, check._

_ "High school," he slurred, leaning forward slightly. "Champagne?" he offered. I shook my head and held up a hand to hold it off._

_ "Aw, come on. A girl like you's gotta have fun sometime, neeeeeeee?" He drawled lazily. I scrunched my nose at him and leaned away._

_ "What is that supposed to mean, exactly?"_

_ "Hey, hey. Hey." He stepped closer, and my eyes widened at his boldness. Now he whispered in my ear: "Let's go somewhere." I took his rather full glass of champagne and flicked the contents into his face._

_ "You don't have to go an-be all ssstingy!" He said loudly, causing heads to turn._

_ "Hey, I'm back. Everything's loaded…what's going on here?" Ichiro had gone to load our instruments and equipment into his rented truck._

_ "Hey man," he hiccupped. "This lady might be stuhhhninng, but she's _impossible._"_

_ "Don't I know it." I jabbed Ichiro with my elbow. "Kidding, kidding! Sir, maybe you should sit down and drink some water for a bit." Ichiro reached out to guide the man to an open seat, but he swatted at him and so blatantly missed that I absently wondered just how many glasses he had had. Ichiro did have to move away to dodge however, and the guy ended up hitting me square on the left shoulder, causing me to fall backward against the table that had any leftover chicken waiting to be eaten. Ichiro reached out to keep from actually falling into the food, but I ended up pulling him down with me as we landed on already prepared plates._

_ "Woopsss, mah-bad…" The man swayed slightly. Ichiro struggled to get off of me without causing an even bigger mess, but this proved to be impossible._

_ "You alright?" He asked breathlessly, holding out a hand to help me off the table. People were definitely watching now. I growled and got up to face the drunk man myself, and was startled to see that Ran was right there. Uh oh, I thought. This doesn't look good. Shinichi was looking around the crowd, and when his eyes landed on Ran, he came up to meet her from behind._

_ "What's going on?"_

_ "I don't know why Shinichi invited you!" Ran said to the drunk man, who leaned away from her angry fist. "You leave her alone, you hear me?" And then, one of the funniest thigs I ever saw: Ran using Karate in a wedding dress._

_ So that was a rather eventful wedding, moving on…_

Next, I thought of Hyo Yeoung. We had surprisingly hung out a lot together, all things considered. He seemed to be thankful for my company, and I was certainly grateful for his. Just watching him draw or paint or sketch was enough to fill an afternoon. Somehow though, it seemed weird to hang out with Hyo Yeoung and everyone else, so I was careful to keep those two groups separated; it wasn't that hard to do.

I had also gotten to know him a lot better in the process. I found out that he _hated _the smell of eggs, and that his favorite color was green, among other things.

Then, I thought of my therapist. Why, just the other day she had accused me of heartlessness. I had actually gone to Ichiro's house and pouted a little after that. When I asked him if he thought it was true, he looked completely disturbed by this thought.

"Of course not!" He had exclaimed. "The only reason you do anything at all is because you care for everyone around you! I should know, it's one of the things I love and hate about you."

"Why do you love _and _hate it?" I asked, honestly curious. He placed a hand on my knee.

"It's a good thing, because you care so much about everyone. But at the same time, that's usually the reason you get yourself into trouble." I hadn't ever thought of it this way before, and immediately understood.

"Oh. Wow. I guess that's true…" I took a moment to think about this, but was interrupted by a light kiss on my cheek.

"Don't worry about it," he insisted. "You're definitely not heartless."

After that, I spent a great deal thinking of Ichiro. Our relationship hadn't changed much intellectually, or emotionally per se…

However, we spent a _lot _more time kissing now that we were actually together. Though I sometimes got so caught up in the moment and wanted to go farther, Ichiro never let us. So all we did was kiss.

Which was fine with me, I mean, who's complaining? But I was beginning to wonder if it was just because he was being a gentleman, or if was something more…

"Kokone? Hellooooo?" Heiji's voice broke my train of thought. Somehow I had made it into the restaurant and into my chair without even noticing.

"What?" I asked, annoyed.

"I asked what you were thinkin' about so hard over there."

"Oh. Nothing really…" Heiji and Kazuha exchanged a look while Ichiro regarded me carefully, but the conversation picked up from there. We were eating and talking buoyantly for about 2 hours when I glanced at my watch and became suddenly aware of how late I was.

"Crap, I have to go pick Kazuko up from her friend's house across town. Crap, crap, crap. Sorry guys, I have to leave." I stood up and pushed in my chair hurriedly, leaving what little change I had near my plate.

"You don't have to -"

"Bye!" I gave Ichiro a quick peck on the cheek and nearly ran out of the restaurant.

Once I accomplished this task and succeeded in dropping Kazuko off at her home before anyone could notice how late I was, I returned to my apartment. It was eerily quiet, but I had already told myself earlier that I wouldn't call Ichiro unless it was absolutely necessary. Flicking on all the lights that I could, I finally settled down on my couch and turned on the TV.

_Ogawa Ichiro's POV:_

"Can I leave you guys here for a little bit? I have something I need to do really quickly." Heiji and Kazuha looked up from the newspaper article they were sharing on my kitchen table. Did it make sense for them to come to my house – my _kitchen _– after we had just eaten dinner? No. But it didn't matter. They both nodded and I took the liberty to leave.

Nerves racked my frame as I felt the seemingly huge weight in my pocket. What would she say? Would this be acceptable? What if it wasn't?

It only took me minutes to arrive; I knocked on the door solidly after resolving that I could indeed do this. Possibly. She opened the door and –

"Ms. Lee, I have something to ask you." Kokone's mother looked genuinely surprised at my presence on her doorstep. "It's important."

"What?" She didn't open the door any farther, so I supposed it was either now or never.

"…Do you think it would be alright…if…if I asked your daughter to marry me?" I pulled out the little black box and handed it to her. She opened it, a concentrated look on her face. The ring was simple enough, nothing too flashy, just the way Kokone would like it – so I hoped.

"You're asking _permission?_"

"Uh. Y-Yes, ma'am?" I squeaked. Her expression was stony and almost threatening. She handed the ring back to me, and then ducked back inside for a second. I was only able to deliberate whether I should go in or not for a mere second before the woman swung the door open and came cursing and swatting at me with a broom. She was able to hit me once on the side of my head before I completely grasped what had just happened, and this suddenly seemed like a terrible idea.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!" I tried to yell over her as I sprang down the steps and started running. She followed me – and _God_ she was fast, for a 52 year old woman – to the curb, but stopped there and continued to shake her broom above her head madly, calling variations of "absolutely nots" the entire time.

I reached my house and threw my front door open, then slammed it shut and locked it for good measure. While I was completely out of breath leaning against the door, Heiji and Kazuha came in with hesitant and curious looks on their faces.

"…What's going on?" Heiji asked, concerned.

"Never – approach – Korean mothers – alone." I gasped. Their eyes both widened.

"Ichiro-san. What did you do?" Kazuha asked in wonder. I shook my head and pushed past them to get a glass of water. They waited expectantly for me to answer but I continued to shake my head.

"I have no idea what to do. I ask permission, she says no. What am I supposed to do?" I wasn't asking them really, rather just thinking out loud, but they both responded as if I had just asked Kokone to marry her right there in front of them.

"You don't mean -?"

"You have a ring?"

"Wait, wait, you asked _permission?_ Why would you do that! Doesn't her mother hate you?" I shot Heiji a look at this comment.

"It's rude to just exclude her from all off this! This is her daughter we're talking about, basically her only familial connection. I thought she might appreciate the sentiment…"

"You're absurd. Did you hear what Neechan's dad did when Kudo asked _him _for permission! He nearly threw the poor guy out the window!" We continued this discussion for another 20 minutes, when my front door opened. Kokone came in uneasily, her face red and I almost thought tear streaked. Her jacket was hanging off of one shoulder, as if she couldn't possibly bother to put it on the entire way before coming here.

"Woah," Heiji commented. "Did you ask your mother for permission as well?" Kazuha smacked him upside the head. Kokone apparently didn't hear this, and continued to stand in the entrance of my kitchen, breathing hard as she swiped at her eyes; she had definitely been crying.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" I approached her cautiously.

"My mother -" She broke off and scrubbed at her eyes. I noted in the back of my mind that no one else had ever seen Kokone cry before, and wasn't sure if I should kick Heiji and Kazuha out or what.

"W-What about your mother?" I asked nervously. She took a deep breath and composed herself.

"I'm getting. Married." The words seemed to make her sick, as she covered her mouth and gripped her torso. Shit, I thought. Her mom had told.

But wait…wouldn't that mean she had said yes? And wouldn't that mean we would be getting married?

"…She…she said yes?" I asked, about to rejoice. But then why was she crying? What was making her so upset?

…What if Kokone's mother wasn't the actual problem? What if Kokone didn't want anything close to marriage?

"Of _course _she said yes! She's _enforcing _it!" She screamed.

"O-Okay then, so…what's the problem?"

"The problem! The problem is that I don't _want _this! Why are you asking me these things, shouldn't you know that I'd rather marry my CURRENT BOYFRIEND?" My brain shut down for a second. What was she saying? She shook her head and squatted down to the floor, covering her face with her hands. Judo came from the corner of the kitchen, whimpered, and sniffed at her hair, nudging her slightly.

"So…you're getting married. Right?" Heiji seemed about as confused as I was. Kokone let out a choked sob in response and Kazuha got up to comfort her.

"Kokone-chan, Kokone-chan!" she reassured her gently, rubbing her shoulders. "This is a good thing! You loveIchiro-san, right? Huh?"

"Hyo Y-Yeoung," she cried out pathetically. "I-I have to m-m-marry -" she couldn't even finish this sentence as she started to full out weep, her frame shaking uselessly.

We all stared in silence.


	8. Chapter 8: It's Over

AN: I have to say I wasn't really fond of the last two chapters, but I'm not sure if I should do anything to change them or not. They kind of are important in subtle ways, and though the plot of the story seems to be heading in a bad direction, I assure you that EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY :D So please don't hate me. :[

_Kokawa Kokone's POV:_

It was all just so terrible. One moment, I was pondering what I would do after work tomorrow, simply enjoying the happy noises that popped out of my TV from a Japanese game show that I was hardly paying any attention to…

And then my _mother_ bursts in. Yelling. Her face beet red with anger. Basically, I almost peed my pants at the sight of her, and immediately jumped up to hide behind the furthest arm of the couch.

"How could you disgrace your father like this! No, how could you disgrace _me_ like this? You filthy, horrible girl!" She shuffled over and swatted at me with her purse.

"Ommaaa, what did I do?" I cried, trying to block it. What the hell did she keep in that thing anyway?

"When would you EVER think that marrying a Japanese man is the answer? WHAT HAVE I BEEN TEACHING YOU FOR ALL THESE YEARS? AH? HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?"

"WHAT'S GOING ON?" I yelled over her in desperation. She huffed and dropped her purse to the ground, pulling me from my not so secret hiding spot and setting me on the couch. She stood over me, her hands firmly planted on her hips in defiance.

"You're getting married," she answered calmly.

"…Excuse me?"

"Don't speak to me that way. You're. Getting. Married. Mr. Han and I have already discussed this. Now that his nephew has taken a turn for the worst, he will do anything to set him back in line." My jaw dropped.

"You want me to marry _Hyo Yeoung-ssi?_ Are you crazy!" She jumped at me in a threatening way, and I immediately ducked and covered my head with my arms as if to protect myself from a tornado.

"The two of you will marry. End of discussion."

"Woah, so NOT the end of this discussion! You can't force me to do any of this, I'm 23 years old!" I protested adamantly.

"Age does NOT matter right now, and if it did, I would have to say that you are too young to know what's best. What would your father say? Oh, what would he say…" she mumbled to herself, shaking her head in disappointment. This comment kind of hurt, I had to admit. My heart thumped uncomfortably.

"B-But Omma. This isn't fair, I can't just marry him. I'm in…I'm in a relationship." Her head snapped up and her eyes bored into my soul. Yikes, I thought as my spine quivered.

"Well. That relationship is over as of now. You need to make something of yourself. How would I be able to show my face to anyone knowing that my daughter is hardly even her own nationality anymore?"

"HEY. I am every bit as Korean as you! But it's YOUR fault we still live here, isn't it? AH? We live in Japan, Omma! God forbid I associate myself with the Japanese as I _live in their country._"

"You stop that right now! It's about time I set things straight with you. I've let a few things go because of everything you've been through, but this is QUITE. ENOUGH." She stomped for emphasis.

"So forcing me to marry someone I don't want anything to do with will solve the problem? HOW DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL?" She sighed a long, heated sigh.

"I can't expect you to understand. But you will marry Han Hyo Yeoung-ssi. Do you understand?"

_Was this really happening?_ I asked myself. I almost slapped my own face to see if I was dreaming.

But even if it were a dream, I couldn't handle it. I got up and thrust on my jacket halfway as I threw myself out the door and started to run.

All I could think of on the way to Ichiro's house was how had I let this happen? Why had we waited so long? If this was 4 years ago, and Ichiro and I had exposed the courage necessary to start this relationship then we'd be in a lot better shape, most likely.

But I was utterly defenseless. Ichiro and I had been together for 4 months, romantically. We weren't exactly at the strongest point of the relationship either. How could I dodge this? It was clear my mother wasn't going to settle for anything less than a full-blood Korean.

I could run away. Yeah, we could leave, and never look back!

…But there was too much to be left behind. Both of our jobs, which be both loved even if we didn't want to admit it, and then there was Kazuko and Kazumi, Heiji and Kazuha…I couldn't quit on any of them.

Then what could I do with Ichiro? Break it off? My heart felt like it was tearing in two as I thought these horrible words. And then I was faced with this impossible decision before I could come a conclusion.

I had burst through the door, surprising everyone completely as I mumbled things, screamed a bit, and then knelt down to cry, suddenly so sick of the world. Just when things were starting to get better, I thought. I was the dish, my life was the tablecloth that was repeatedly wrenched out from beneath me only often enough for me to forget that it could happen again. There were people bustling around me, so it seemed, everyone so close as they tried to find the source of the problem. Even Heiji was in there, trying to do _something._

"Kokone, what are you talking about?" Ichiro asked me from my left. I emitted a broken sob.

"Shhh, Kokone-chan, you're alright, you're alright," Kazuha cooed from my right.

"Kokone-chan, what happened?" Heiji asked from somewhere in between. "What's going on?" Don't make me say it again, I wanted to say. I'll be sick. I made a strange gurgling noise and whimpered pathetically. What was I going to do?

It was bright. I didn't know where I was. My head throbbed as I attempted to fall back asleep.

This proved to be impossible however, so I opened one eye cautiously to survey the area.

Ichiro's living room. Okay, I thought. I couldn't really remember what had happened between my awful weeping the night before and now.

"You're awake." I was curled into the corner of the couch, and I turned my head to see Ichiro standing there, leaning against the entrance to the kitchen. He seemed to be really nervous about something. My eyes burned.

"Are you feeling alright?" I glanced down and noticed the bucket next to my head on the floor. "Oh…I left that there. Just in case."

Oh God, I thought, what happened? I couldn't find the words to speak.

"Should I get you something to eat? Maybe something to drink?" He offered.

"Why are you so nervous?" I asked, point blank. He hopped a bit at this accusation.

"Uh…well. You kind of freaked us out last night, Kone-chan, I'm not gonna lie." I raised an eyebrow curiously.

"What did I do?"

"You don't remember?" I shook my head. "You started to hyperventilate and yelled that everything was…too close? Or something? I don't know, but you nearly ripped your own hair out. And you told us not to touch you."

"I did? Wow. I'm sorry."

"It's nothing. What I'm wondering is…" He took a seat on the opposite side of the couch, a safe distance away, I noticed. "are you feeling better now?" I nodded once.

"I guess."

"Okay then. Are you able to tell me what happened exactly? We were left with the impression that you were getting married to Hyo Yeoung before you started to…well, scream." I bit my lip, sure I was going to cry again.

But then I swallowed through it after I thought of my father. Though it seemed completely inappropriate for him to be involved in this situation, I immediately thought of him, as he had always been the one to tell me that I shouldn't cry about certain predicaments before I found the solution. He was a smart man in more ways than one, because undoubtedly if someone were to find the solution to a problem, there would no longer be a need to cry about it.

"My mother came to my apartment last night. She told me that I was going to marry Hyo Yeoung whether I liked it or not. And she told me that -" I looked up at him, searching for evidence of hurt or sadness of any kind. But he was watching me carefully.

"She told me that our relationship is over," I whispered. He blinked, then leaned back and appeared to think about this.

"So…you're breaking up with me. For Hyo Yeoung."

"I don't want to, Chiro," I pleaded, my voice thick. "Really, I don't. I'll try to figure something out, alright? We can get through this, can't we?"

"I…I will kick his ass if he does anything to you," he threatened. I nodded, accepting this answer.

"I'm so sorry. I just – I don't even know what to say. You forgive me, right? You'll forgive me, everything will turn out fine." He looked at me with a sad and tired look.

"We'll have to see."

"You have to promise me. Promise me that everything will be fine. It will won't it?" My voice was shaking. He cleared his throat and knelt his elbows onto his knees.

"Everything will turn out okay. I promise. I guess I'll…see you around." He got up and grabbed his jacket, slipping on his shoes.

"W-Where are you going?"

"To work. I suggest you do too." He looked at me once more before he shut the door, and the look he gave me nearly broke my already broken heart.

I sat there and debated over whether or not I should cry again, but ended up sighing and removing myself from the couch instead. I was stiff as a doornail; what an uncomfortable way to sleep.

I still had an hour before I needed to actually be at work, so I decided to walk. It was an ironically nice day outside, and I noted that I wasn't wearing the proper clothing that I should have been, but I didn't have a single care in the world.

I walked into the forensics building and ignored the stares as I made my way towards the elevator. No doubt I looked terrible, but what did it matter? There was no one to impress.

"Good morning, Kokawa-sa…" The receptionist trailed off. I looked at her and then continued on to my office. A few of my coworkers stopped and gave me wary looks, probably wondering who I would attack first if I was in one of those moods.

But I wasn't. I was just simply giving up. Everything meant nothing. I plopped into my office chair and stared at the ceiling for a good 30 minutes before someone came in.

"Hey, would you like me to take on that case from yesterday?" It was Yamasaki Fumio, a rather decent, friendly guy that had learned early on to keep out of my business unless it affected him directly. My eyes lowered to meet his slowly.

"Sure." He was about to shut the door when he came back in.

"Are you…are you alright?"

"Fine."

"…Okay. I can tell the boss to let you off work or something if you –"

"No." He nodded once, then shut the door behind him. I returned my gaze to the ceiling. Funny how one day could change literally everything.

I remembered distantly a particular day years back that had altered my life, as well as Ichiro's. My mind played flashes of the memories, skipping to the parts that I ironically didn't want to remember. The sound of a single gunshot, blood, and the feeling of slipping away from the world dominated these recollections.

The phone on my desk suddenly rang, loud and shrill, causing the silence to slice in half. I stared at it and let it ring once, twice, three times. Then I reached out and grabbed it.

"Yes," I answered quietly. It took the person on the other line a few seconds to respond.

"…Kokone-chan?"

"Mm."

"Are you alright?"

"If someone asks me that question one more time, I just might slam my head into the wall."

"…I was just asking, sheesh. Anyway, I didn't think you'd be at work today, but I guess you are so…will you come down and look at this case with me?"

"Address." I pulled out a pad and a pencil, and wrote sloppily the street and the number.

"And Kokone," Heiji said then on a more serious note. "Everything will turn up. Okay?"

"Whatever you say," I mumbled, then hung up the phone before he could give me any other useless advice.

As soon as I thought that, I felt bad. This was Heiji; how often did he really say these kinds of things to me? To anyone, really. I wanted to apologize, but figured I could do that once I got there.

"Ishida," I barked once I shut my office door. "You have your car right?" My jumpy assistant came to salute me, then handed out his keys without a word.

"Great. Come on. Bring your camera, and I'm assuming you know by now all the necessary supplies that go along with this job."

"Hai!"

We drove to the specified address, and I pulled my jacket tight around me as I made my way to the front door. Police were all over the place, which was typical in these situations, but somehow there was always something that made me nervous because of it.

Once inside, Heiji was waiting, observing marks and a single footprint on the floor. He glanced up and broke into a wide grin.

"Ahh, Kokone! Glad you're here. Could you get a sample of what was on this boot? It doesn't look like dirt."

"…It's almost like charcoal," I observed, putting on my gloves and swiping the footprint expertly.

"That's what I was thinking."

"Is that all you needed me for then?"

"Well, you know. There are other things. We need a definite cause of death. But other than that…"

"Where's the body?"

"Over here. In the bathtub." He led me to a small bathroom where police officers were taking pictures before they were supposed to put the body in a bag. It was a middle-aged man that was balding, and he was definitely wearing all of his clothes while in a full bathtub of water.

"We think the cause of death was electrocution." Heiji held up a toaster that was still a little wet, though now unplugged. I knelt down to get a good look, lifting the arms to observe the wrists and such.

"It could be. It may also be drowning. Bring him back to the lab and I'll figure it out for sure."

"Drowning? But -"

"His hair is still wet, and there's a trail of dry-ish water coming from his mouth. The murderer could have done the toaster thing for good measure."

"Alright. Have those results for me when you can."

"Sure." I got up to leave, snapping and pointing towards the body in order to get Ishida to do his job rather than stare in astonishment.

"Hey, Kokone." Heiji pulled me aside. "What's going on? Come on, don't do this." I rolled my eyes.

"Don't get all sappy with me. I'm getting married. End of story."

"…Should I be congratulating you?"

"No."

"Well, okay. So who's the lucky guy then?" He asked nervously.

"Hyo Yeoung."

"I'm…sorry."

"'S okay."

"But it's _not_," he insisted. "Kokone, what are you going to do?"

"What can I do? I don't have any authority over this decision anymore. But…"

"But…?"

"I'll figure something out. My mother wouldn't stand for having a disgraceful son-in-law. We'll find out what his flaws are." I sneered, thinking about all the possibilities. Heiji recoiled and gave me a weird look.

"…Uh. Alright. Well, what I said earlier was true. Everything will -"

"Yeah, yeah. We'll see. We'll see."


	9. Chapter 9: Next Week?

Shit, I cursed to myself. Now I have nowhere to go after work. Surely he could be mature about this whole situation, but I just couldn't bring myself to show up at his house all casually as if nothing was wrong. _Everything _was wrong.

So who do I call? I almost thought of calling Hyo Yeoung, but then I remembered he was going to be my husband soon and gagged at the thought. Could I call Heiji? He'd probably be over there, so would that seem petty and childish to beg him to come to my apartment, formally splitting Kazuha and Heiji as if Ichiro and I were splitting custody?

"Aigoo, aigoo," I mumbled to myself as I entered my apartment building. There was a new doorman to replace Sakamoto. I randomly wondered what had become of his body, what his family was like.

Once inside my apartment, I sat on the couch for a good long time. I don't know how much time passed, and I honestly wouldn't be able to tell you what I was thinking about so much that I didn't even notice I was crying silently until my cell phone rang.

"Hello," I stated, not even looking at caller ID.

"Kokone-ah?" It was Hyo Yeoung, of all people. He sounded breathless, as if he had just run half a mile to find a phone.

"Yes."

"Are you home right now? What's your address? I _need _to talk to you." I sighed, and told him where to go. Only 10 minutes later there was a knock at my door. I slumped over and opened it, leaning my head against the door as I looked forlornly out at him. His eyes were crazed, and he looked wild and bewildered.

"Can I come in?" I stepped back and left the door open as I walked to the kitchen. I only assumed that he would follow me, and of course, he did.

"I'm sure you already know…"

"Of course I do. Did you just find out today?"

"…Yeah. My uncle is coming back just for the ceremony, which is apparently going to be extremely simple with only your mother and my uncle present in the…audience."

"God. I can't even believe…"

"Have you been crying?" He asked me suddenly. I looked up and nodded.

"You even have to ask? Aiiiiigoo…this is all such a mess. I had to dump Ichiro today. Hyo Yeoung-oppa, he's my best friend. What am I going to do?" He looked at me with sympathy that I silently resented.

"You're going to be his friend. It will seem awkward and maybe impossible at first, but it will get easier. You'll see."

"Don't tell me you've done this before."

"Well no, not the marriage thing…but I understand." I waited for him to say more, but he didn't.

"What if he never forgives me?"

"You said you guys are best friends, right? Things will get better. He'll come around. And who knows, maybe we can get out of this within a year or two." He winked at me in reassurance. "I'm just glad you're not a _complete _stranger…" He sighed.

"But hey. We can try to make this work, just to please them. Say…a year? Tops? We can discuss new ideas every day that we're together." He seemed to enjoy this idea, but I was a little uneasy.

"A-Alright…I guess I could live with that. It's just – how can I act…normal? Towards Ichiro? We were getting pretty _serious_. You can't just bounce back from that and pretend everything's fine, can you? And even if I were to explain to him this plan…you can't just forgive and forget, easy as that. Eotteohgehago, eotteohgehago, eotteohgehago…" This was becoming my mantra: what to do, what to do, what to do.

"Hey. It's alright. You just have to -"

"How can you be so calm about this! This is absolute _madness_!" He chose his next words carefully.

"Well. I suppose it's because…I like you, Kokone. I really do. And it's not even the crush I've had on you, it's…our friendship. I think I'm really going to try to make this work for a while, but if you aren't happy about it, I'll help you out. I like the possibility of ending up with you, I suppose, even if it's just for a little while." I bit my lip.

"This is horrible. I'm sorry I'm being so rude, I didn't -"

"It's okay, I completely understand. But like I said, Ichiro should come around, alright? Just give him some time. I guess I'll leave you to your business then. Don't forget to show up!" He jeered, trying to make the mood lighter. "Next Wednesday, 10 in the morning." I couldn't respond, but he didn't seem bothered by this as he let himself out.

Next…_week?_ As in…_next week?_

I had a breakdown then, and I swore the pain in my heart was so bad that it could quite possibly have been compared to someone stabbing me with a white-hot blade.

I fell asleep on my kitchen floor after that episode, and didn't care that I probably wouldn't wake up for work the next day. I almost wished that this would be it, and that I could sleep endlessly and forever.

Almost.

I was too exhausted to dream, which was good and bad, since the sleep wasn't as restful as it may have sounded. My cell phone rang at around 10 in the morning the next day, which was probably the only reason I would have woken up at all.

For some reason, my phone was in the middle of a tile on my kitchen floor, as if it had been carelessly thrown there. Maybe it was. God only knows what I _really _did in my sleep. I looked at the caller ID for a moment, trying to comprehend. I really should just set everything I own to Korean, because in the morning, Japanese came a _lot _slower than it did any other time of day. I gave up trying to read and just answered it.

"Hello?"

"Where _are _you?" Heiji bellowed. He didn't sound angry, though. Maybe worried, but I couldn't be sure.

"At home. On my kitchen floor. Where are _you_?" I responded casually.

"I'm at a clean crime scene, so it seems. Everyone's been looking everywhere for you! You know, sooner or later you're going to be fired for all of this -"

"So no one thought to look for me at my apartment? What great detectives you all are…" I grumbled, stretching as I got myself back onto my feet. Heiji growled.

"Just get down here as soon as possible. Got it?"

"Whatever you say, big shot."

"Hey! You should really be addressing me as Hattori-sama or Hattori-keiji! I don't know why I let _you _call me whatever the hell you want…" I snorted.

"Hattori_-keiji_. Get it?" I laughed some more at my own personal joke.

"Yes, it's all just so funny isn't it. Anyway, hurry up." He hung up without another word, and I went to stand in the shower for about 10 minutes before I threw on a decent work suit composed of long, slender pants and a blazer. I'm composed, I told myself. Everything is fine.

When I arrived at the address that Heiji sent me in a text, the only reason I knew it was a crime scene was because Heiji was there. He was right; it was completely clean, save for a dead body that appeared to have no physical damage. Perfect! I thought. Just what I needed. This could keep me busy for days.

I worked and worked for the rest of the day in the crime lab, analyzing cells and samples of all types, trying to piece together _something_. Heiji had a few assumptions, but as far as cases went, this was one of the most difficult we had ever happened upon as a team.

"Hey, are you staying late?" Yamasaki poked his head into the lab, a clipboard in his hand.

"What time is it?" I picked up the sample I had prepared and used it to replace the one currently under my microscope.

"…Almost 9. I'm only here because I had to file these other reports."

"Ah."

"So you're staying then?"

"Yeah, maybe for another half hour or so."

"Oh, by the way, your phone's been ringing like crazy on your desk. Must be pretty important."

"Really? Thanks, I'll take a look. Have a good night."

"Yeah, you too." He let the door fall shut behind him, and I was alone again. After storing my samples in the proper conditions, I sighed and snapped my gloves off, placing them in the waste bin. The whole floor was dimmed for the most part; only a single lamp at the receptionist desk was on. I entered my office and was greeted by my cell phone ringing. The caller ID said "Kaneko Izumi," otherwise known as Kazuko's adoptive mother.

"Hello?" I answered, already worried.

"Kokone-san! I've been trying to call you for hours!"

"Yeah, sorry, I've been working. Is everything alright?"

"Kazuko-chan has been _missing_! We don't know where she is, she never came home from school, none of her friends know where she went, we don't know what to _do!_" She was hysterical, it was clear.

"She's _missing?_ When was the last time you saw her? When was the last time _anyone_ saw her?"

"Her friends all said she wanted to walk home alone today, but the last time I saw her she was leaving for school in the morning! What do we do, Kokone-chan?"

"Did you call the police?"

"They're doing what they can, but I feel so useless just sitting here. Mr. Kaneko is out looking, I was hoping you could help too. Or that you would know where she is…"

"I'm sorry, I haven't talked to her since Monday…I'll start looking right now."

Dammit Kazuko, I thought to myself as I drove around slowly, looking everywhere. I had absolutely no idea where she could go, or what she could possibly have been doing. It wasn't like her to just up and disappear. She _loved_ to be around her friends, never alone. So why had she opted out of walking with company today?

After driving to any possible places that she typically liked to go to for 40 minutes, I could feel myself starting to panic. Kazuko was the closest thing I had to an actual family member, maybe even a daughter. I felt responsible for her, even if we weren't legally bonded in any way.

What if…

The next thing I knew I was parked in front of Ichiro's house, nearly flinging myself at his front door. I paused before I knocked though, holding my fist in the air as I listened quietly. There was laughing from inside – specifically, Heiji. His voice was always the loudest. For once, I felt like an official outsider. It wasn't like I was ever consistently part of the discussion, but at least I had at least been there before…

Kazuko. Right, Kazuko. Okay. I knocked solidly on the door three times – _rap, rap, rap._ The laughing ceased, which caused me to feel like I was intruding completely. My face felt hot all of a sudden.

Ichiro's shadow came to the door. He opened it smiling, saw me, and blanked completely.

"Oh…hey. Kokone." I bit my lip.

"I need your help."

"With?"

"Have you seen Kazuko by any chance?"

"No…should I have?"

"She ran off. No one knows where she is, I've been looking for the past – I don't even _know _how long."

"Wait, she's missing?"

"Yes!" I said, exasperated. "I have no idea where she is!" Ichiro just stood there, looking slightly worried as he comprehended this. I exhaled once and turned around to head back to my car.

"Forget it. I'll keep looking. Call me if she shows up here or something."

"No, wait." I was at my car door now, looking back at him. He took a moment to slip on his shoes, calling an explanation over his shoulder as he shut the door. "Where have you looked so far?" I told him all the places as we pulled out of the driveway, and he continued to have that concentrated face on as he nodded seriously to everything I said.

"Have you tried that one bakery downtown?"

"I – the bakery?" This suggestion caught me off guard.

"Yeah, what's it called? Oh we were just there…"

"It doesn't matter, just tell me where to go!" I insisted. "But why would she go to the bakery?"

"I don't really know. I've taken her there a few times on the way home from school. She made me stop when we passed it, and ever since I've taken her if I'm the one taking her…home." This was getting awkward. Ichiro was only associated with Kazuko because of me.

"O-Oh. I didn't know. Well tell me where." He directed me to exactly where it was we needed to go, and even though it was nearly 10:30 at night, there she was.

She was sitting in front of the bakery, hugging her knees to her chest as she looked up at the sign that read "Yamazaki Bakery." I pulled over and jumped out of the car.

"Kazuko-chan? What are you doing here, it's 10:30! Have you been here all day?" I knelt down next to her to get a better look. The bakery was long closed, as was the rest of the street for the most part. She turned her head and looked at me with tear-filled eyes.

"Eonnieeeee," she whined in a thick voice, reaching forward to grip me around the waist tightly. She started to sob into my shoulder, and I had no idea what to do. Ichiro stood a few feet away, leaning against the car with a concerned look on his face. I looked up at him for help, but he just stood there, watching me.

"Kazuko, Kazuko, what in the world -"

"Where's my mommmm?" She cried.

"She's…Kazuko, you know where she is, don't you?"

"I want her to make me caaaaaaake!" Ohhhh, I thought to myself. All making sense now.

"Shhh, shh. It's okay."

"I WANT MY MAMAAAA!" My heart swelled with sympathy. How do you explain to a 12 year old girl that she will never see her mother again?

"I know, I know. Come on, let's go home now, ah?"

"You DON'T know! Nobody does! I don't want to be there anymore!" I didn't know what to say. Ichiro started towards us.

"You still have your mother, Kazuko-chan. You will always have those memories of her, ne? No one can ever take that away from you. Good memories live forever, and you can always come here and remember. In the meantime though, we need to get you back to your family. Your sister needs you." He reached out and rubbed her arm comfortingly, while I just sat there, completely moved by his little speech. Why do I have to suck at this?

We were able to get her into the car after that, then proceeded to drive her home where she was greeted with a series of "we were so worried about yous" and the like. The Kanekos thanked us feverishly, and that was that. The drive back to Ichiro's was silent, and the tension had to have been so palpable that I could cut it with a knife.

"How do you do that?" I finally asked.

"Do what?"

"You always know what to say. I just…how can you tell someone that their mother is basically gone forever without sounding so…"

"Blunt?"

"I guess."

"I don't know. It's a gift." I smiled for a second before I remembered that that was probably not acceptable at this point, but when I glanced at him, he had a small, crooked smile on his face too.

"Thanks a lot though. I never would have found her if you hadn't suggested that bakery."

"I think you would have. It might have taken you a lot longer though." Silence reigned for the next few minutes.

"So you're getting married, huh?" He asked out of nowhere. I almost slammed on the breaks right there.

"We don't have to talk about this," I said through gritted teeth.

"No, no. I think we need to. I don't want this to completely ruin _everything_, you know?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I do."

"Okay then. So Hyo Yeoung, huh? When's the ceremony?"

"Next Wednesday." These words stung like acid at the back of my throat.

"Wow, th-that's…that's really soon." He had been startled by this, much like I was, but was somehow able to quell his actual reaction.

"I know."

"Is someone giving you away, or…?"

"I don't think so. It'll just be my mother and Hyo Yeoung's uncle. Ugh." I shuddered at the thought.

"I could do it. If you want…"

"Oh, Ichiro, please no. I can't let you do that."

"No, I can be okay with this. We're adults now right? And you're still my best friend…right?"

"…I was going to ask eventually. Are we?"

"I'd certainly like to think so."

"So does that mean you forgive me?" I asked quietly, almost afraid of his answer.

"…Yeah. Yeah, I've decided to be an adult about this."

"That means a lot, you know. I was so afraid that nothing would ever be normal again."

"Hey. Best friends are for life." I bit my lip. Even now, he was too nice.

"I'm so glad, Chiro. I really am. I don't know if this marriage thing will work, but I'm not exactly hoping it will either if you know what I mean."

"I think I do." I pulled into his driveway, and he got out of the car. I rolled down my window when he came around to the other side.

"So I'll see you around. You should come over still, ah? Kazuha misses you." I picked at my steering wheel.

"Sure, sure. I'll see you later." He waved and smiled without teeth before heading inside.

I cried all the way home.


	10. Chapter 10: Remember?

"Will you please let me drive?" Heiji asked uneasily as he shifted around in his seat.

"For the last time, no."

"Kokone, I'm _begging you._"

"Why! I'm not a bad driver!"

"No, no, not at all…just a driver that likes to live life on the edge for some sick reason." I reached over to sock him in the shoulder.

"You're the one that called me for a ride, so you'd better hush up. Is Kazuha busy or something today?"

"Yeah, busy being stubborn…" He muttered, crossing his arms in defiance.

"…May I remind you that you are in fact Hattori Heiji?"

"Shut up, ahou! I'm not _nearly _as bad as she is."

"So what are you fighting about this time?"

"I don't even know! She keeps ignoring me and then yelling at me for being stupid! Women, I swear…"

"Are you trying to tell me that you haven't done anything to provoke this?" I raised my eyebrow at him suspiciously, but he honestly looked stumped.

"Not that I know of. Would you talk to her about it later? It's driving me nuts!"

"I can't be the one to solve your marital problems all the time, Heiji. Maybe you should just ask her directly -"

"WOAH, we are NOT married, first of all. And second of all, what do you think I've been doing? I've been asking her about it for the past few days!"

"Alright, alright! Calm down, sheesh. I'll ask her later."

"Thanks. Hey, what are you – DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO PASS THIS CAR – annnnd, she does it anyway. What the hell is the matter with you?"

"I'm an impatient person, Heiji. You of all people should know about impatience."

"Not when it comes to the safety of OTHERS," he spat back, obviously referring to himself. I rolled my eyes.

"Get a grip, we're almost there anyway."

There were two days left before I would officially be married to Han Hyo Yeoung. I stepped on the gas pedal even harder as I thought of this.

Overall, things were…_okay._ To say the least. Everyone carefully avoided anything pertaining to relationships, marriage, the like. But I was able to still live a somewhat normal life, go to dinner, hang out with Heiji, Kazuha, and more importantly Ichiro. Something had definitely changed – something drastic – but none of us even attempted to approach the subject of it.

Now, I was driving Heiji to a crime scene that I was also required to sift through after he called me in desperate need of a ride. I knew that this meant something was going on between him and Kazuha, but for some reason allowed him the privilege of riding with me to work anyway.

I honestly didn't see what the big deal was about my driving. It wasn't _dangerous,_ per se…more like _adventurous._ I enjoyed the challenge of making the next green light, even if it turned yellow long before I could reach the intersection. Things like weaving in and out of cars, which I was an expert at, by the way, brought me some unnatural pleasure that I couldn't place. Maybe it was the fact that I was able to race ahead of everyone and everything without actually doing just that.

It was also enjoyable because I had never been pulled over or ticketed in my life, but that was beside the point.

After that lovely drive, it was a rather dull work day. The husband had been killed by the wife, as typical as it may sound. I laughed bitterly at this situation, because it _would _happen right before I of all people was to be married. But it also made me think about reasons…

Husbands. When they are the murderers, it's usually unbridled jealousy or something of the sort. Surprisingly enough though, there weren't as many husbands that murdered their wives as there were wives murdering husbands. This brought up another point that men are often the perpetrators of domestic violence, so why didn't they murder as often?

I came to the conclusion that women, though not as violent as men, are more likely to go psycho than men are. Honestly, men do those horrible things sometimes without a care in the world, as if it's acceptable no matter where you are. But women…women typically didn't _do_ these horrible things consecutively, rather, they got what they needed to out of their system in one great big massacre.

Yikes, I thought to myself. I'd better see my psychiatrist more often if I'm going to be married to Hyo Yeoung.

This thought, however, made me feel bad. Hyo Yeoung was not a bad guy at all. He was quite honestly one of the sweetest I had ever encountered, was accepting and willing to help no matter what. Nothing seemed to outright bother him for the most part. He was pretty mellow, and never really complained about much, just sat there and drew what he was feeling, which seemed to be happiness 24/7.

"Kokone, as much as I hate to say this, start the car already." I blinked in response, and found that I was indeed in the front seat of my car once again, staring at the wheel with the keys poised right next to the ignition. Heiji sat there looking at me with impatience as I looked back at him, confused.

"Come on, Ichiro-san's making his okonomiyaki tonight!"

"Right, right," I mumbled as I stuck the keys in the ignition and proceeded to drive us to our destination. Kazuha was pulling in just as we were, and Heiji rolled down his window and called out "Heyy, Kazuha!" She turned instinctively towards him, but then hmphed and crossed her arms as she strode inside.

"Wow. You really screwed up," I noted out loud.

"What could I have done!" He threw his hands up the in the air as he got out of my car. I followed him up the steps to Ichiro's front door, still nervous about going inside on my own. When Heiji offered to let me go first, I strictly declined, and was forced to endure a look that said "you're ridiculous" before he went in ahead of me.

"Mmmmm, smells good!" Heiji called, rubbing his stomach in anticipation. I followed him into the kitchen, and there Ichiro was, as usual, at the stove. He greeted us warmly, but the smile didn't reach his eyes when he looked at me. Kazuha was already seated at the table, ready to discuss her days' events in detail, though she made it clear that her words were for me to hear and me only. Any time Heiji made a comment or asked a question, she ignored him skillfully and stared at me hard in the face to keep herself from caving. Alright, I thought. Enough of this crap.

"Heiji, go buy carrots." I shoved some of my spare change into Heiji's hand and urged him out of his chair. "Take my keys, just go get me some carrots already."

"Carrots? Why carrots? You know, you've been _really _weird lately -"

"Just go buy some damn carrots!"

"Alright, alright, I'm going, freak…" He muttered a few other random things as he went. As soon as the door was shut, I turned back to Kazuha.

"So anyway, my coworker, Kouki-san? She told me that she needed someone to -"

"Kazuha, shut up for a minute, alright? What's going on with you and Heiji?" She leaned back at my abruptness, and seemed utterly befuddled by this question.

"W-What?"

"You and Heiji. Why are you blowing him off? What did he do?"

"Oh. I bet he asked you to find out for him, ne? Well you can tell him that the longer he doesn't know, the longer he will stay single."

"Single? What?" She sighed.

"Nothing. It's nothing." Something was obviously bothering her, but I had no clue what I could be. I didn't say anything, but found that I didn't have to as she eventually continued in a Kazuha-esque fashion. "It's just that…Ran-chan and Kudo-kun. You and Hyo Yeoung. You all have certain futures, right? You're ending up together, getting married. All of that stuff…" Shit, I cursed to myself. I didn't really want to discuss, particularly not in Ichiro's kitchen, _in_ the presence of Ichiro.

"…A-And?" I asked uneasily.

"Well…it just seems like I don't have anything like that. Nothing is certain for me right now, not even my _job._ And I wish Heiji was just man-up and go for it, if he's going to keep teasing me like this…what if he doesn't even _like _me that way? What am I supposed to do, wait around forever? I don't _have _forever!" She slammed her fist on the table for emphasis, causing our empty plates to jump.

"Who says dating Heiji will make anything more certain than before?"

"_I_ do. It will at least give my _something _to hold on to, you know? He just doesn't understand…He teases me and teases me and pokes me with a cattle prod and then freaks out when _I'm _the one that gets mad."

"That does sound like Heiji…" I commented, mostly to myself.

"Kokone-chaaaan," she whined. "Should I keep waiting? What should I do at this point? I'm 24 years old, for God's sakes!" It seemed like she was heading into the full-on-freak-out mode that only appeared every once and a while, but when it did, everyone knew to steer clear.

"Okay, okay, calm down," I insisted, trying to prevent this. "He'll come around. He just has to…get his bearings first. You know, test the water and all that."

"He's getting closer, Kazuha," Ichiro suddenly said from his position at the oven. I had nearly forgotten that he was there.

"How do you know?" She huffed.

"Because I'm a guy. He's working up to it, just show him how patient you can be. Then you can use that to rub in his face later when he finally _does _go for it."

"E-Exactly," I enforced nervously. She seemed to be at least partially satisfied with this reassurance, but Heiji had just walked back through the door, so not much else could be said of the matter at hand.

"Oi, I bought your damn carrots." Heiji flung a little bag onto the table in front of me, then feel back into his seat with a sigh. "You're _really _weird these days, you know that?" I took a carrot out of the bag and smacked him with it before biting off a hunk.

"Well," I started thoughtfully after swallowing that bite. "I'd better go. I have to do a whole bunch of crap tomorrow." I got up and swung the little plastic bag of carrots over my shoulder.

"But we haven't even eaten yet!" Heiji said as he looked at me incredulously. "It's _okonomiyaki, _Kokone!" As if that were really going to change my mind.

"Eh, I'm not that hungry anyway. I'll uh…I guess I'll see you guys next week or something."

"Why next week?" Kazuha wondered aloud. I turned back to face her once again.

"Well, word got out that I was getting _married…_" I sneered at Heiji for that, and he shifted uncomfortably. "So my boss insisted I take a week off from work."

"But…you'll have more free time. Right?" she asked a bit shakily, for some reason.

"I don't know. I really don't. Anyway, I'll see you." I felt the dread in my shoulders as they tensed with stress just at the thought of this.

"Hey, I'll be there." I nearly flew off my feet when Ichiro blurted this out.

"W-What?"

"I'm giving you away. Remember?" And indeed I did, but I hoped and prayed to every and any God that he wouldn't.

"Right. Yeah. Okay." On that awkward note, I decided I'd better leave before I started hyperventilating.

When I opened the door to my apartment, something didn't feel right. The kitchen light was one, for one. I never left anything on. There was also an extra pair of shoes in my doorway. It was too dark in that hallway for me to tell what kind of shoes they actually were, but I knew they belonged to a man, which meant…

"Hey, you're home." I almost jumped 3 feet in the air, my skin crawling with anxiety.

"_Shit!_ Don't scare me like that!" I placed a hand over my heart, feeling it thump to its irregular rhythm, though much faster. Hyo Yeoung stood there with a small bowl of something that looked like rice, his chopsticks in his right hand.

"…Sorry? Should I have called you to tell you I was going to be home? Even though I have been? Basically all day?"

"Oh. I keep forgetting that you live here now…"

"Ha. You'd better get used to it!" He smiled amiably before popping a bit of rice into his mouth.

"Yeah," I laughed nervously before escaping to my – now our – room.


	11. Chapter 11: Control Lost

"Kokone? Shouldn't you be waking up?"

Shouldn't you be living in Korea? I retorted in my head. Out loud, I groaned and rolled over, placing my pillow over my head to block out the noise. This only muffled the chuckling that came next.

"Your mother will be waiting to pick you up soon. I'm going to go to lunch with my uncle, so I'll see you at home later tonight." Home, I repeated in my head. He calls this place home, and he's only lived here for 4 days.

I waited for him to leave the room, which he did after about 2 minutes of silence, before I decided to get up. I ignored the fact that my bed now had two body imprints instead of just one as I stooped down to grab a lone pair of pants and a button up shirt.

Though I was clear about the amount of skin Hyo Yeoung would definitely _not _be seeing, we still slept in the same bed together. The first night was a bit awkward, but I told him to get over himself and go to sleep, and that's just how we figured things out now. He asked, I answered in my typical fashion: Who uses the shower first? Shut up and go. Do you want to change for bed while I finish this show? Just watch the damn show, I'll take care of my business.

After I successfully changed into my clothes for the day – or so I hoped – I went into the kitchen to grab a quick cup of coffee, maybe read the newspaper.

…And there he was again, already taking a sip of his own coffee, holding out an extra mug for me to take. I didn't like it when people did things for me, especially if they were simple. It was one thing if Ichiro was making me a meal to help with a cold or something, but this was driving me up the wall. I bit my lip to keep myself from outright frowning as I took the mug.

"So is your mom taking you shopping or something today?" He tried too hard, I noted. Way too hard.

"God only knows." The conversation fell to the floor like a dead animal.

"…I'm not entirely sure what my uncle wants other than to discuss," he offered after a few minutes of silence.

"Mm," I mumbled, picking up the paper and reading over a few headlines. An article involving Heiji and his impeccable ability to solve seemingly impossible crimes was listed on the front page, as usual. Wasn't there anything better to read about?

"…Alright then. I'll see you later tonight."

"Yep." He patted the counter once before he left. As soon as the door closed, I let the paper in my hands drop to the floor and dumped out my coffee in one fluid motion. I was just that sick of the world.

This proved to be an obnoxious mistake though, as I realized there wasn't any more coffee left. But too late, my mother was at the door, ready to go.

"Kokone-ah!" Her sharp voice pierced through the door. "Let's go!" I sighed, and then we were off.

My mother had somehow, some way found a store that sold _one _style of bridal hanboks. It was green with a red sash around the middle, intricate designs in gold all over the place. Basically, my worst nightmare in terms of clothing.

"Look how _beautiful_ this hanbok is. And in Japan, too!" My mother cooed over the fabric more than she ever did over me, even when I was a child. I always found it slightly embarrassing when she spoke Korean in public, and therefore required me to speak in the same language as well, especially since it seemed so _loud _in comparison.

"Are you _really _going to waste your money on this? Why can't we just go down to the courthouse or something..." She swatted at me as if I were a troublesome fly.

"We will take care of it at _my _house! In the backyard! We already discussed this."

"Last time I checked, discussing involved coming to some sort of compromise or conclusion that involved _both _of the arguers points of interest."

"You hush now, and go try this on. We'll size it up right now." I did just that, and felt like a giant red flag sticking out of a group of white ones. This doesn't fit _at all_, I thought. And not just the actual hanbok.

"Oh, look at that. Aren't we lucky to have found this here?" She whirled around me, getting a look from every angle. A part of me felt grossly appreciated for once, as she was praising everything about it while I was wearing it, but then I remembered that she was the cause of this monstrosity.

"Sooooo lucky," I grumbled to myself. My mother planned to hem the hanbok a little, but we bought it immediately anyway. We rode the bus back to my apartment without a word the whole way until I was about to get off.

"Don't be late tomorrow, Kokone-ah." It was as if she expected me to not show up at all, which I was still largely considering, but still.

"Quit worrying about it. I'm not _that_ disgraceful."

"Hmm…" She said suspiciously as she eyed me up and down. I scrunched up my nose, stepped off the bus and onto my block.

God, this was all really happening. How was I even walking right now? Was I transformed into an irreversibly emotionless monster or something?

I thought a _lot _about everything that was going on, about the future, about the past. I didn't even notice that it was 9 o'clock at night, and that I had somehow made it to my apartment and onto my couch. _Or maybe I had done a bunch of other stuff and just ended up here?_ I questioned myself. _That would be really bizarre…_I was broken from this reverie by Hyo Yeoung entering the apartment.

"I'm home," he called. "…What're you doing?" He glanced at the TV, as if noting that if it wasn't on, then I couldn't possibly be doing anything useful.

"I dunno. Just sitting here, I guess. Did you have an eventful day with your uncle?" I asked, sort of uninterested.

"You could say that. He bought me my stupid outfit. We talked a lot about my aunt."

"Oh?" I perked up at this, because this was almost uncharted territory for Hyo Yeoung. We had a few major things in common, it was true, and one of them was the death of a close family member.

"Yeah. It made things…easier. I suppose. You have a nice time with your mother?" I snorted, then started to laugh. He had a humorous yet confused look on his face in response.

"What's so funny?"

"You think my mother and I are close or something?"

"Well I just assumed, I guess. I don't know, guess I was wrong?"

"WAY wrong…"

"So today wasn't good."

"It never is, with her."

"Any particular reason?" I looked at him for a moment and contemplated. What was the right way to answer this question? My mother and I had _never _been close, and it wasn't going to get any better after someone as vital as my father was taken out of the equation.

"There are a few. But it doesn't matter now, she'll never accept me as her daughter." I got up to brush my teeth, thinking that I would rather get ready for bed than continue this conversation.

"That's too bad. Hey, isn't it weird to think that by noon tomorrow, we'll be married?" I froze, just as I was about to enter the bathroom. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God oh God oh god oh God oh God –

"I have to do something." I snatched my car keys off of the coffee table and ran towards the door.

"Do something? It's 9 o'clock. Where are you going?"

"I'll be back later, don't wait up. I might stay with Kazuha or something."

"Kazuha? Why?"

"….uhh, bachelorette party. Yeah, that. I'm leaving, bye."

"A-Alright -" I slammed the door in my rush to get out of there as soon as possible. It was raining outside – actually, outright pouring - and somehow I ran straight past my car and just kept running. This was it, I kept telling myself. He has to know.

Though it took me about 20 minutes of sprinting bursts through the sheets of rain to get there, I eventually landed on Ichiro's doorstep, panting heavily and dripping from head to toe. With hardly any strength at all, I let my fist fall upon the door only once: _whump._ I struggled to catch my breath as I heard the door unlock.

"…Kokone? What are you -" Without a word I nearly jumped on top of him, and we were kissing.

It was all sheer force and fury; there was no sweetness about it whatsoever. It only took Ichiro a second to get into it, and soon he shut the door and was holding me securely as we ventured towards the stairs. When we reached the banister, he pulled away, breathless. We were somehow tangled together, but still able to stand up straight.

"Wait, wait, wait. What's going on? We shouldn't be doing this -"

"Take me upstairs," I demanded hotly. I hoped I was giving him my best look of determination, but he looked wary regardless of what look I could have given him next.

"…Are you _insane?_"

"No. Take me upstairs. Right. Now." My eyes were starting to burn, and for some reason I found that I was on the verge of tears, despite the current situation. I shook him then, and almost whined: "Take me!" His eyes widened, but then he took me completely by surprise by stooping over and throwing me over his shoulder like a ragdoll.

We were upstairs in a matter of seconds, and back to kissing. Somehow we ended up in his room and he laid me on his bed only to start kissing me once again. I reached for the hem of his shirt and attempted to rip the obtrusive clothing out of its tucked position. This time, he didn't stop me. I shakily started to unbutton it as he moved his way down to the crook of my neck, causing butterflies to flutter and fly in my stomach.

Everything felt _so good_, and that's what I focused on as everything panned out. There was that ridiculous twinge in the back of my mind that told me no good could come from this, but I shoved it aside with the same fervor that was fueling this whole situation.

There were no words that could describe it. This was so unreal, so unbelievable and so mind-blowingly amazing that I couldn't even comprehend it. When I lay in his arms afterwards, I couldn't help but wish this would be my forever. It felt completely perfect and so right, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how wrong and terrible I was. And then I had to go and bring Ichiro into it…

We didn't speak. Not even afterwards. We just lay there for a while, and when it seemed that both of us were too groggy to have a legitimate conversation, I tried to say something.

"Ne, Chiro," I mumbled against his chest.

"Hm."

"I'm so sorry."

"I am too," he sighed as he stroked my hair absent-mindedly.

"I miss you. I miss this."

"I do too," he agreed.

"And I really…I love you, Chiro." I wanted to look up at him, but was too content to make the effort.

"I know," he said quietly. "I love you, too."

I didn't say anything more as we slowly drifted off to sleep.


	12. Chapter 12: Going, Going, Gone

What a strangely damp dream…what…what is this humidity? It felt as it some warm, thick coat of _something _that resembled the consistency of water was all over my face. And it kept getting _thicker._

"What the…" I mumbled as I became more aware. Something was licking me. My eyes snapped open with this realization, only to meet a pair of large, expectant brown ones above me.

Something had definitely been licking my face.

"Judo, get _off_," I heaved as I shoved him off of me. That's when I noticed: I was alone. And to top it off, I was completely naked. I huddled the sheets around my underarms, and got a good look around the room.

Everything was clean. This had definitely _not _been the case the night before. There had been clothes strewn about, even a lamp had been knocked over in the process of Ichiro opening the door. But now, only my clothes remained, and they were folded neatly in a small, contained pile on the dresser across the room.

"Chiro?" I called out. Silence answered. Maybe he had to work or something. He could have been on call for all I knew. Judo stood there panting happily as his tail swished back and forth, his tongue hanging carelessly off to the side. I shifted off of the bed, still holding the sheets around me tightly as I reached for my clothes, trying once again: "Chiro?" This time, I was answered by a sticky note that was stuck to the mirror hanging above the dresser. I stretched up and took it carefully, pulling it close to my face to read the small, perfect handwriting.

_I can't stay. Take care of Judo and the house while I'm gone._

Wait. _What?_ I read it at least 10 more times just to be sure. "No, no, no, no -" I whispered out loud, flinging the note to anywhere but my incapable hands. There was a key next to my pile of clothes, just sitting there.

I yanked open the dresser drawers; each one was empty. I threw the closet door open; nothing remained.

"Chiro!" I yelled out, though a part of me just knew it was too late. "_Ichiro!_" Judo whined, his ears shrinking back at my sudden outburst. Something suddenly beeped from the bedside table, causing him to inspect. A clock, I recognized. It was 6:42 in the morning.

Which meant I still had time to make a few calls before I went and vowed my life away. I scrambled for a phone, still naked with the sheets wrapped around me. The first person I called was Kazuha.

"Mphmorgph…'Lo?" She answered in a voice thick with sleep.

"Kazuha? Kazuha!"

"Kokone?" She yawned. "What's wrong? Why are you calling me at such an ungodly hour?"

"Listen, you can't tell _anyone _and you can't ask questions, got it? You can't even tell Heiji. But I need you to be my alibi."

"…You didn't kill someone, did you?" she was more awake now, as she seemed alarmed by my demands.

"No! Don't be insane. If anyone asks, particularly Hyo Yeoung, I was with you all night last night. Okay? From…9 to now."

"Why?"

"Because. I told him I'd be out with you as a sort of bachelorette party type deal, but I was really…just by myself."

"Oh. _Oh_. Sure, sure, no problem." I wondered what she was comprehending at this moment, but decided not to ask.

"Okay, but that means you can't tell _anyone,_ not even Heiji that we had this discussion. Got it?"

"S-Sure. Can I go back to sleep now?"

"Yeah. I'll see you next week." She gasped.

"Oh, good luck good luck!" She breathed into the phone.

"…Thanks." I didn't even say bye before hanging up. The next person I called was an operator that transferred me to the nearest airport.

"Yes, I'd like to take a flight to Tokyo tomorrow, could you book a ticket for me? Any time, it doesn't matter. Sure. 2:30, sounds great. How much? No, that's fine. That's just fine. Kokawa Kokone. Thanks."

Who else was there to call? I stared sadly at the phone in my hand, silently daring myself to dial the next number that popped into my head. I eventually did, exhaling a long, shaky breath.

It only rang twice all the way. Someone had rejected the call midring.

I'm not going to lie, but that _really _hurt for some reason. In a fit of frustration, I chucked the phone at the bed, where it bounced lightly against the mattress. All I could do now was get dressed and show up at my mother's to get ready.

"…Kokone?" My mother stood at the door, just looking at me for a moment.

"Uh, yeah. Who else would it be? Let's get this over with already." She continued to stare. "What? You honestly didn't think I'd show up _at all?_"

She let me in and guided me to her room, where the hanbok was hanging in anticipation from her armoire. I hadn't been in this room since long before my father's death, so this was basically a completely new experience for me. Everything was neat and organized, almost as if no one really lived there. I swallowed against the acid taste at the back of my throat that resulted from the connection between this room and Ichiro's as I left it. It's okay, I thought. I'm okay.

My mother dressed me up and messed around with my face and hair for a good long while, treating me as her own personal Barbie doll. We didn't talk as she did her finest work, though I noticed that when she was done, there really wasn't anything on my face as far as makeup went.

"Omma, are you done?" She was looking at my reflection in her mirror, her hands on her hips with an expression of such concentration that I was almost afraid to break it.

"…Yes. Yes, I think I'm done," she finally decided.

"But…my face is still -"

"Your face is fine. Stay here until I call for you then." She left the room in a bustle, presumably to prepare whatever it was that needed attention. I stared at myself in the mirror, unable to comprehend everything that had happened. I'm fine. Everything's fine.

This became my mantra throughout the day. When my mother walked me out, and made me approach Hyo Yeoung and his uncle beside him, I told myself to forget the empty feeling that evolved after the thought that I was alone. If only my father were here, I thought dully. If only _Ichiro_ were here.

But he isn't, I told myself sternly. Get over it. He's done putting up with you, it's about time.

I just wished I could have had some sort of fair warning.

I nearly bit my mother's head off – and would have willingly done so to anyone else – when she attempted to change my name. At that point, I decided it didn't matter that I was in front of my "new uncle," or Hyo Yeoung for that matter. My name was _not _going to become Han Kokone. So it remained that I was to be referred to as Kokawa Kokone, though the added Mrs. in front of it made me gag.

When we got back to my apartment, I ripped off the stupid hanbok, not even caring that I was going to be half naked in front of Hyo Yeoung. He just stood there and watched me, though not in a perverted way at all as one may assume. He also hadn't said a word the entire day that wasn't planned, so if that wasn't any indication that he knew this was definitely not my most desirable experience, I don't know what else would be. I was still working on getting the thing all the way off of me when he shrugged, seemingly unbothered by my stripping and entered the kitchen.

"I'm going to Tokyo tomorrow," I said, attempting to get my feet out of the ridiculous costume. Hyo Yeoung came out with an apple in his hand, already bitten into.

"What for?" he inquired around a mouthful.

"I'm going to visit someone. I won't stay for more than a day."

"Oh? Who?"

"Just a friend. I haven't seen her in a long while, so I figured I could pay her a visit, catch her up on what's…going on in my life." I worded this carefully, but he nodded in understanding.

"Ah. Right. Well, I'm going to go shower and get this monkey suit off after I finish my apple, so if you want to go first -"

"I'll wait, thanks." I suddenly became aware that I was only in my bra and underwear while having this casual conversation with him. He didn't seem to be distraught in any way about this though, so I cleared my throat and left to put something else on before things could get too awkward. My phone started to ring as I was pulling a t-shirt over my head.

"Hello?" I answered tiredly.

"Can I talk to you somewhere? I know you got married and all that today…but this is important." It was Heiji, and I hadn't heard him sound so sincere and urgent in such a long time that it kind of freaked me out at first.

"…Heiji?" I clarified.

"Yes?"

"Oh. Uh. Yeah, I guess. Where?"

I tapped on the sticky table nervously, fidgeting around every so often. What was it he had to talk about?

Oh God, I thought. What if he _knew?_ What if he was somehow so in tune to the situation without me even knowing?

"Hey." He slid into the seat across from me smoothly, placing his hands on the table in a position that suggested that he was just as nervous as I was.

"Hey. What's going on?"

"I have to…tell you something."

"…Okay…"

"Ichiro-san is…gone." I just glared at him as if he hadn't said anything. He waited for a reaction, a look of sympathy on his face. I wanted to slap that expression right off.

"So you called me. Told me to meet you. To tell me something I've known since 7 this morning." His eyes widened.

"You knew?"

"Of course I knew! Idiot…" I punched him in the shoulder. He rubbed the spot with a grimace.

"How?"

"I-I went to see him early this morning. He left me a note that told me to take care of his house and his dog – His dog. Crap, I have to go get his dog."

"Wait, do you know where he is?" I was getting up, and Heiji was trying to follow in order to keep up.

"Do you?" I countered.

"…A little. Not _exactly…_"

"What is that supposed to mean!" I threw my hands up in the air in exasperation.

"He's moving to America for a while. He told me he has to figure some things out, study abroad and all that. He didn't tell you?"

"No," I swallowed. "He didn't. He won't talk to me."

"I…really? Did something…happen?"

"I don't know. Why don't you ask him next time he calls you?" I sneered towards him, feeling an unknown source of hurt and anger bubbling up inside me. "Because God only knows the next time I'll have the privilege of speaking to him again." I shook him off when he placed a hand on my shoulder, rushing out of the little café as soon as I could.

Gotta go pick up his damn dog, I grumbled in my mind. Hopefully they allow animals in my building…

I knew that they did to some extent, but somehow decided that I was going to hope for the worst from now on. After all, hope was for those that had something of importance to strive for.

I had nothing.


	13. Chapter 13: Shiho

When I brought Judo and his food bowl home with me, Hyo Yeoung was surprised.

This was an enormous understatement, but I was trying to explain myself as he gaped, open-mouthed, at the furry creature that bombarded our apartment and tried to lick Hyo Yeoung to death.

"…And he's _really _a sweet dog! He's loyal, protective, nice…warm…" I was running out of adjectives.

"A…dog? A _dog?_" He finally asked.

"…Yes. Yes, he is indeed a dog."

"And you brought him _here?_ Whose dog is he?"

"Uh. Well. Hyo Yeoung-ah, he's a great dog, he's not obtrusive at _all_ and I feel safer knowing he's here anyway!"

"…Are you asking me if he can stay?" He raised an eyebrow at me as he scrubbed Judo's neck.

"Please?" I pleaded, clasping my hands together in front of me. He sighed, then smiled at me with a what-am-I-going-to-do-with-you kind of expression.

"Fine, I suppose. He seems nice enough. But I feel like I'll be doing this a lot in the future…"

"Doing what?"

"Giving in to your demands." I snorted.

"You're damn right. Anyway, he won't have to stay for…hopefully that long. I don't know how long he'll be here exactly, but it won't be forever."

"What's the dog's name?"

"Judo."

"And…whose dog is it did you say?"

"I didn't." I hesitated before I decided to focus on sticking Judo's bowl in a strategic place in the kitchen.

"Kokone-ah?" he wondered.

"Hm?"

"You didn't answer the question. What's wrong?"

"Well…I hope this isn't too weird. Because I know we're married and all that," I swallowed, forcing myself to spit this out. "But Ichiro and I were kind of…together."

"…So this is Ichiro's dog. Where is Ichiro?" I bit my lip.

"That's just it. I don't know. I went to see him this morning…there was a note. He told me…" I forced myself to inhale. Keep control, come on. "He told me to take care of his dog and his house while he was gone. I have no idea where he went, and apparently he's refusing to talk to me so…he left me with this _dog._" I pointed at Judo as if I resented him, which I definitely didn't, but who else could I be mad at? Ichiro hadn't left any room for hatred by leaving so abruptly.

"Hm," Hyo Yeoung crossed his arms and watched me carefully.

"This _dog!_ He left me with a DOG. What am I supposed to do with HIS. DOG? Who just leaves like that, huh? And it's not like… Look, I didn't have _control _over whether or not we got married. I'm sorry if that seems rude to you, but Hyo Yeoung, you have to admit that this was _way _too fast and impossible to explain -"

"I know. It's okay, I understand."

"Yeah! So what do I do! He won't answer any of _my _calls. At first I thought he was just ignoring everyone, you know? But he's just ignoring _me!_"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't tell me that you're sorry!" I nearly shrieked. Judo was watching timidly with his ears flat against his head. "This is just ridiculous. Why can't he just be mature about this?"

"Maybe he just needs time," Hyo Yeoung suggested quietly.

"Time?"

"Yeah. Time. He just needs a break. I'm sure he won't be gone for _that _long. Everything will turn out fine, alright? I promise." We stood there for a second, just staring at each other.

"Ahem. Yeah, okay. I'm gonna go pack. Tokyo tomorrow and all that."

"Right."

We didn't speak for the rest of the night until it was well into the middle of it. I had woken up from a terrible dream that only reminded me of Ichiro, and was sifting through files and reports from old cases that I still had to take care of in terms of all the paper work. The coffee table was littered with paper, and I sat at the couch bouncing one leg up and down as I organized and read and reread. My hair was bouncing too as I did this; it was in a high ponytail basically on top of my head, and I actually felt more at peace at that moment than I had the whole week.

Judo would nudge my arm or leg every once and a while, a low whine escaping the back of his throat. I was convinced that this dog had some sixth sense that was sensitive to my condition at all times. Dogs could do that, right? Whenever I had a slight pain in my heart for whatever reason, he knew. I wasn't crazy, right? He would get nervous and jittery, and at one point a few years back, he had barked.

"Just a little longer," I whispered to him, scratching him behind his ear. He leaned into my hand and rumbled happily. I hoped that dogs didn't know whether you lied to them or not.

"Kokone-ah?" I jumped, and looked up to see Hyo Yeoung at the door of the bedroom, his eyes squinting as he yawned.

"H-Hey…" I turned my attention back to my papers.

"Important case or something?"

"Not in particular. Just busy work. Go back to bed."

"…Are you going to sleep soon?"

"Sure."

"Kokone-ah."

"Go to bed."

"…I'm guessing you don't sleep much."

"You'd be correct. Now go to bed." He didn't respond, but when I looked up, the door was closed again.

I did as much work as I could from home, then checked the clock. Just before 4:30. Perfect. Judo was sleeping at my feet, so in order to keep him from waking, I shifted myself to where I could lay down on the couch and keep my hand on his neck.

* * *

><p>There was clinking coming from…<p>

The kitchen, I decided. Someone was washing dishes. I stretched out and yawned only to find that there was a blanket covering me. I grimaced and flung it off of me. Judo sat up with curious eyes.

I had about an hour before I really had to leave for the airport, but how would Hyo Yeoung know if I left early? I got up and shuffled to the bedroom to change, then dragged my suitcase out with me.

"I'm leaving. Take care of Judo, ne? He only needs a cup of food a day, and the food should be on that shelf." Hyo Yeoung looked up from where he was positioned at the sink, soapy water up to his elbows.

"Oh. Sure, alright. Have a nice time." I nodded, then left.

It took me an entire plane ride to realize that I had no idea where I was supposed to go. I didn't know where anyone lived anymore, and surely Ran wasn't still at the Mouri Agency…

But I tried there first anyway, figuring that her father would know where she is. I thanked whoever was in charge of the world when I stumbled upon the Agency that still had Mouri Detective Agency printed in large, bold lettering on the windows. I knocked on the door with determination.

"Haiiiii, it's open," someone called from inside. I tentatively opened the door, and there he was. Still in front of the TV, a beer in his hand. It was like I hadn't ever left Tokyo. He was older now though, his hair just starting to grey.

"Oji-san?" I wondered. He glanced up at me, his eyebrows pulling together.

"Do I know you from somewhere…?" He mumbled.

"Mm, yes. I used to hang around here years ago. I'm Kokawa Kokone?"

"Ah! Yes, I _do _remember you. Now…what are you doing here?"

"I'm looking for Ran-chan. Do you by any chance…"

"Know where she lives? What kind of a father do you think I am? Of course I know where she lives!" He pulled out a note pad and a pen, scribbled something, then ripped a piece off and held it out. I crossed the room to receive it.

"She should be home. _They _should be home." He seemed pretty sour about Kudo still, but I knew he would rather it be Kudo than anyone else.

"Thanks. Have a nice afternoon, Mouri-ojisan." I bowed slightly and left.

When I arrived at the specified address, still dragging my tiny suitcase, I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. I almost considered leaving after standing there for 3 minutes, but then I heard locks unlocking, and then the door was open.

"…Kokone-chan?" Shinichi asked in a thoroughly bewildered voice. "What are you doing here?"

"Where does Shiho live?" I blurted out.

"Shiho? Oh, Haibara? She still lives with Hakase."

"…She does? But -"

"She lived there for so long that she couldn't bring herself to leave. Don't worry though, she doesn't hang around with kids anymore. I hardly see her."

"You think she'd be there right now?"

"I guess…why do you need her? Are you planning on staying here for long? I bet Ran would like to know that you're here -" I grabbed him by the arm to keep him from sticking his head back inside to call for her.

"Don't tell her I'm here. I'm only staying for a day, I just need to talk to Miyano-san."

"But…why? Hey, what's that on your finger? Kokone-chan, you didn't get married?" He was starting to grin now. "Why wasn't I invited!"

"It's not what you think. Now I need to go see her, so I'll catch you later. Come to Osaka soon, ah?"

"Wait, Kokone. What happened?" He was concerned now, and that face that only came around when he was attempting to solve some difficult puzzle came through his features. I sighed, then spilled in a rush, as if it were no big deal.

"I'm married to Hyo Yeoung, we live together in my apartment, something _bad _happened, Ichiro will only talk to Heiji from where he is in America and he left me with his _damn dog._ So yeah, shit happened, and now I'm going to go find Miyano-san. I'll see you around." He just gaped at me, unable to respond, but I wasn't going to wait around for him to.

When I made it to Hakase's house (it was a miracle that I remembered where it was in the first place), I sighed tiredly and knocked on the third household that day. Shiho luckily came to the door first, and as expected, her expression didn't change much when she found me on her doorstep.

"Miyano-san," I breathed, realizing I had been holding my breath.

"Kokawa-san," she responded coolly.

"You don't care, right? About me, or what happens in my life?"

"…I wouldn't go that far."

"Right. No, what I mean is…you care about the people around you, I get that. But we don't know _that _much about each other right? And you aren't a judgmental person…right?"

"…I suppose…" She was eyeing me carefully now as she leaned against the doorjamb.

"Okay. I have to tell you something that I can't even tell my stupid psychiatrist. And you can't judge me, and you can't tell anyone, and -"

"Kokawa-san. Come inside." She left the door open for me to follow her through, and I did.

I told her everything – and I do mean everything – from the forced engagement to the night before I was married. Her expression remained the same throughout my lengthy pseudo-story as she stirred and sipped her tea calmly.

"…and now he's _gone_, and he won't talk to me. I know I made a mistake but…it takes two people, you know?" She just continued to stare at me. "So anyway, he left me with his dog and his house, and I have no idea where he is in America so even if I had the money to pay for a ticket, I wouldn't be able to _find _him and talk about it." I sighed. "Shit…I _really _screwed up. I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. I knew I'd be the one to mess everything up. And this time I may have lost my best friend for good. What the hell am I supposed to do?" I covered my face with my hands and slapped myself a few times, lightly.

"…Do you always talk this much, Kokawa-san?"

"No. No, I don't. Which just proves that I'm going nuts over this, because I can't tell anyone else about what happened."

"So you're afraid that people will permanently judge you."

"Well…yeah. And…I can't talk about any of this to people that care, I guess."

"People that care?"

"People like Ran and Kazuha. You know Ran, right? How she's all mother duck to everyone? It's too much to tell her." She nodded once.

"I see. So that's all then?"

"Whew. Yeah, it is. Thanks. I think I can still catch a flight back to Osaka if I leave now."

"For what it's worth, Kokawa-san, he can't ignore you for forever. I saw it when they came to see you years ago, you remember? He'll come back, and you can make things right when he does." I swallowed.

"Thanks. This might sound stupid, but I'm really glad I know you, Miyano-san."

"I suppose I am as well. Have a nice flight." I nodded, and that was that.

Though this didn't really solve any of the problems, I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my chest completely. Who knew being able to tell someone could be so beneficial?


	14. Chapter 14: First Flaw

_1__st__ Month – 1__st__ Flaw_

I knew that when I was getting married to Hyo Yeoung I would learn a lot more than I knew already about him, and that I may have been able to use these findings to get myself out. But sometimes, it was a bit overwhelming.

For instance, one day, I decided to at least try to be pleasant by agreeing to go grocery shopping with him. While strolling down a beverage aisle, he stopped and scooped something off the shelf and into the cart smoothly, checking the item off his list. I wasn't paying much attention, but when I glanced into the cart to see what it was he had been looking for, I stopped pushing the cart.

"You drink?" He turned back, an expectant look on his face.

"You don't?" This seemed amusing to him for some reason, but when he saw I wasn't laughing, his smile faded. "You don't," he repeated, this time confirming the answer to his own question.

"I _can't._ But…but you can. So you do?"

"Is that going to be a problem…? It's not like I'm an alcoholic or anything, it's just a drink every once and a while. This should keep me happy for a good couple of months." He patted the oddly shaped glass bottle with a smile.

"I guess that's fine…you really shouldn't though. It'll ruin your liver over time." He raised his eyebrows.

"Like I said, I'm not an alcoholic. You don't have anything to worry about." He touched my shoulder lightly and then turned to continue down the aisle.

And really, he didn't have a drinking problem at all. I cursed in my mind when I started to realize that he was right in his judgment. It wasn't anything any other adult wouldn't do, so this obviously couldn't be used against him in the future.

One day, however, had been a particularly bad day. Hyo Yeoung had called me at work, saying he had just gone out to eat with his uncle to discuss his career path, and things had apparently turned sour. He said he may not be up for the dinner we were planning to have at our apartment with Heiji and Kazuha that night – my first attempt at bringing the people that mattered most in to show them that everything was okay. I shrugged this off, told him it was fine, no big deal, we'd discuss it later when I get home.

I ended up bringing Heiji and Kazuha with me in my car back to my apartment though, figuring that if it really bothered him so much, Hyo Yeoung could just go to bed or something. What we found in the apartment though, was definitely _not _what we had been expecting.

"Hyo Yeoung-ah?" I called when I opened the door. "He should be here…Judo, be nice to Heiji." Judo was sniffing Heiji in particular suspiciously, as he always had.

"Obnoxious animal…" Heiji grumbled to himself.

"He can smell all of your flaws, Heiji. You have so _many_," Kazuha teased. Heiji shot her a look, while Judo whined.

"What?" I looked down at him. His ears were flat against his head and he had a low grumble building in his throat before he took off to hide under my bed.

"See? You scared him off!" Kazuha complained.

"No, something's wrong…" I took careful steps forward in order to see around the corner. "Hyo Yeoung-ah?" He was sitting lazily on the couch, one leg hanging off the arm of it while his arm dangled, holding an empty shot glass in hand.

"Hmmmm?" He hummed, turning his head. "Ahh, it's _you._" He said this with disgust and I took a step back, knocking into Heiji. Nobody said anything as they observed the situation.

"What are you doing?" I asked; my voice shook just slightly.

"Mehhhhh, getting away from it _all_!" He swung his arm above him in a wide gesture.

"…You're drunk," I concluded, suddenly angry. "You're _drunk?_" I strode over and snatched his shot glass out of his hand, slamming it down on the table. The bottle of gin was completely empty.

"And you're _mean_." He laughed now, as if it was all so funny. "Is there more?" He tried to get up, but this proved to be impossible.

"What the hell is wrong with you! Getting drunk like this, I ought to bring my mother in here, you know what she'd do? You know what _I'm_ going to do?"

"Be snarky and impossible? But you do that _every _day."

"…Excuse me?" I was completely taken aback by this assumption.

"It's no secret you want nothing to do with this, Ko-ko-ne." He jabbed the air with one finger during each syllable of my name. I had nothing to say.

"Ohh, it's you guys! Hey, hey, you guys are together, ahh?" He drawled after he successfully sat up. "Then tell me, do you have the problem in the bedroom where…" he paused, apparently forgetting what he was saying. "Oh! Where she refuses to even _take off her clothes?_" He laughed loudly. "This girl is so crazy. She caused Ichiro or _whatever _to leave her behind and now she blames _me _for it. It's all your fault!" He fell forward after sticking an accusatory hand at me. I felt something inside me shatter. Even if he didn't know exactly what happened between me and Ichiro, he knew enough to accuse me of being the catalyst. Kazuha looked frightened while Heiji looked downright mad.

"It's no wonder he left you behind. Who would want to hang around someone that's constantly _cynical_ and just a…a _downer?_" My teeth were gnashed together, completely unmoving. What could I say? There was nothing left open for discussion here, so I took a step forward and yanked on his arm.

"Get up. Get up, right NOW."

"Oh yeah! Controlling too…"

"GET UP. Go shower. And you'd better not throw up on my floor, because God knows I'M NOT CLEANING IT UP." I dragged him over to the bedroom and shoved him inside.

"I'm sorry, guys. It looks like we can't do dinner tonight." I cleared my throat and avoided both of their gazes as I knelt to clean up the random pieces of paper sprawled around the couch.

"Is everything going to be alright, Kokone-chan?" Kazuha asked timidly from behind Heiji.

"Yeah. Everything's fine. I just married a jackass and caused Ichiro to hate me indefinitely." My eyes were burning as I said this mostly to myself.

"Kokone," Heiji said gently.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Heiji. We'll do this some other time, Kazuha-chan." When no one moved or said a word, I took a deep breath to compose myself before I looked up. They were both concerned, clearly, but I tried to shrug it all off.

"Guys really. It's fine. Everything's fine." I tried to smile.

"You've said that so many times in the past month that it doesn't even sound like a phrase anymore," Heiji reasoned.

"Because I don't know what else to say. I can't complain about any of this, but _apparently,_ I do in my own special way." I rolled my eyes as I recalled Hyo Yeoung's random outbursts.

"Sure you can. Complain all you want. That's what we've been waiting to hear anyway." Heiji was looking at me earnestly, as if he were trying to get me to admit something.

"I can't, Heiji! Come on, you're the one that gets to talk to Ichiro, right? I'm guessing he hasn't said anything about me, and if he has, it hasn't been good. God, I don't even know," I fell back onto the couch and put my head in my hands.

"I tell him that things aren't going well when he asks, which is often, just so you know. He doesn't say bad things about you or anything like that. So why can't you complain? What exactly happened? Wasn't everything okay?" Too many questions, my mind wanted to fire back as an answer.

"If you asked him, would he tell you?"

"No. He won't talk about it."

"Then I can't either."

"Kokoneeeee…" Heiji almost whined. Kazuha pulled him back.

"Heiji, let's go. Kokone-chan needs to be alone, ne? Come on." She yanked on his hand, but he barely budged.

"Kokone, why are you putting up with all of this?" Good question, I thought. I almost didn't know how to answer.

"…Because I deserve it. Hyo Yeoung wasn't wrong, even though he's drunk as a boiled owl."

"But -"

"Heiji, let's _go_!" Kazuha insisted. "Bye, Kokone-chan, hope everything turns out well. We'll see you later this week." There was protest for a minute, but then silence followed as they closed the door.

The rest of the night was spent with Hyo Yeoung in the bathroom, as I kept him as close to the toilet as possible since puke was definitely not my thing. I started to actually feel bad for him at one point though after he started blubbering about his deceased aunt.

This was the first flaw: his tendency to drink when everything got too difficult to handle.


	15. Chapter 15: Second Flaw

_2__nd__ Month – 2__nd__ Flaw_

Patience is a virtue.

This is a rather frequently used phrase around me for some reason. I know I'm not the most patient person in the world, and I know that this oftentimes gets me into the most trouble. It didn't take much to set me off, for that matter, and I was readily aware that this whole marriage thing would definitely send me over the edge more often than anything else.

However, I was beginning to find that Hyo Yeoung had impatience. This sounds kind of odd, and maybe not all that severe of a flaw, but one must understand that the Hyo Yeoung I knew before I married him was about as patient as Ichiro ever was, and that's saying a lot. It also bothered me because his impatience was developing in the wrong places…One place in particular irked me to no end, and actually made me _extremely _nervous.

"Eonnie, how do you do this?" I looked up from the paper I was reading to see what Kazuko was asking me about.

"Hm?"

"This. I still don't understand these stupid equations!" she huffed, setting her chin in her hands with a pout.

"Let me see." I took the paper she was looking at and thought it over. "Well here's the problem. You keep trying to plug this into this," I pointed. "when you _should _be solving for this." Realization struck her features immediately, and she snatched the paper away in her eagerness to finish the problem. I rolled my eyes while smiling slightly as I went back to my paper. Just then, the front door opened, and in strolled Hyo Yeoung with his satchel of art supplies. He didn't appear to notice that Kazuko was there at first.

"I'm home. Hey, listen. I wanted to talk to you about something that I didn't get to this morning. Are we ever going to -"

"Ahem." I cleared my throat loudly, glancing up at him just over the top of my paper. He responded by instinctively looking up, and his eyes widened for a moment.

"Oh. Hi there, Kazuko-chan." Sure, _now _he speaks Japanese, I thought. "Later, Kokone-ah. Hm?" I nodded once sharply, not paying much attention to him. Kazuko surveyed the situation for a moment, and I felt her stare at me hard, but I refused to look up until Hyo Yeoung was out of the room. She knew that this was definitely not the ideal situation for someone such as myself, though I wasn't the one to tell her. Somehow, Kazuko just _knew _these things about me without me having to say a word. I tell her I'm married to Hyo Yeoung, she tells me that I already look like I'm carrying a new source of stress on my shoulders. I tell her Ichiro left, she tells me that I'm not going to be okay.

This viewpoint was very refreshing, and I much preferred it to all the canned reassurances I received every other day. I had to love her for her honesty.

Hyo Yeoung went into the bedroom, and Kazuko took this chance to whisper hurriedly.

"What did he say? It sounded urgent…"

"That doesn't concern you, Missy. Finish your homework."

"Eonnieeeeee…" she whined.

"Why do you call me that?" I snapped without meaning to. She blinked.

"…Why?"

"Yes, why?"

"Well…Because Ichiro-niichan told me to."

"Is that the only reason? You listen to everything he tells you? Ah?"

"Sheesh, he didn't mean any harm by it. He told me to call you that because…he said I was the closest thing you had to family." She seemed ashamed to admit this, as she was looking down at her paper while she picked at her pencil to distract herself. Something pulled at my heart at the mentioning of this, more because I could hear Ichiro saying those exact words, crystal clear and echoing endlessly in my mind.

"…He said that?" I clarified, folding my newspaper in my lap.

"Mhm. Eonnie, he really loved you," she murmured.

"Maybe," I allowed. "Loved. Past tense." I snorted. _So absurd_. She gave me a sour look.

"Shoot, your step-mom is probably waiting. Come on, come on." I ushered her out of her seat, grabbing her school bag for her. "You know how to do this now, ne? Call me if you need any help."

"Haiiii," she answered lazily, hugging me loosely before she made her way to the door. "Bye Eonnieee!" I waved, and then she was gone. I sighed and decided that I might as well get this over with…

"Hyo Yeoung-ah?" I hesitantly entered the bedroom. He was undoing his tie in the mirror hanging above the dresser.

"Hm?" He hummed as he pulled at the knot.

"You…wanted to talk about something?"

"Ah, yeah. I spoke to your mother the other day…" Oh God, I thought, this can't possibly end well.

"About?"

"Well, to put it all in perspective: kids." I continued to stare at his reflection in the mirror fixedly. He turned around to face me as he carefully folded his tie. "You catch my drift?"

"…Please tell me that she was talking about the probability of me being able to have kids in the first place."

"She mentioned something about that…but she said she spoke with a doctor once, and that with careful monitoring it could be possible." I couldn't even believe we were having a seemingly rational discussion about this.

"You don't honestly think that we're going to have kids, do you?"

"Well…if this is my only chance to, then I would like to embrace it, so yes." I fought the urge to let my jaw drop in awe; this guy was just looking for a beating.

"Hyo Yeoung-ah," I started through gritted teeth. "We're not going to do this. _Ever._"

"And why not!" He shot back, taking me completely by surprise. One moment he was calm as could be, the next he was counterattacking my statements.

"What do you mean why not? This could _kill me._ And also, didn't we agree that neither of us wanted this? _At all?_"

"No! Have you not been listening to me for the past two months? What was the first thing I said to you about us getting married?" I continued to glare at him, unwilling to recall this memory.

"Exactly. You don't. Okay, well, just so you know. I _really_ liked you, Kokone. Even before…I really liked you. And I still do but…but you don't. I don't mind being married to you so much, but clearly that is not the case for you." A miniscule, insignificant part of me felt bad for an infinitesimal second, but I quickly retorted.

"Don't try to guilt me into this! I can't help it that I don't want you like that, alright? How would it be if we were to have kids, hypothetically, and their parents didn't even love each other? Huh? Does that sound like a great childhood to you?" His jaw was taught as he absorbed this, but it was clear that he wasn't going to give up.

"Maybe a child could _fix _this, though. That's what your mom thinks…"

"I don't give a rat's ass what my mother thinks! And who are you to go begging for relationship advice from her anyway? AH?" We were getting in each other's faces now as the argument grew more and more heated with every passing second.

"She was the one that called me over! She wants grandchildren, Kone-ah. Shouldn't you know that that's why she wanted us to be married? So she doesn't want to die before she sees her grandkids, so what!"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT," I screamed, and he stepped back for a moment, apparently confused.

"Don't call you what? Kone-ah? Why?"

"Because you don't deserve to call me by any nickname at all. And to the whole grandkid thing…no. Just no. You don't know my mother like I do. She resents me, and even if she wants grandkids, she knows that I can't have them. She's trying to get under your skin, Hyo Yeoung-ah! Don't you see?"

"Well then forget your mother! What about what I want? Huh? Don't I get a say in _anything _around here? You have to have your bedding a certain way, your room temperature a certain way, your _food _a certain way. For God's sakes, what _do _I have control over in this relationship!" He was flailing his arms about as he exaggerated my apparently bossy behavior while I planted my hands on my hips.

"Because you wouldn't be risking your life with any of this! I get to decide because I'M THE ONE THAT HAS THE FREAKIN' BABY."

"You don't want kids? Do you really hate children _that much?_ You're such a bizarre person, I swear, why can't you just be _normal_ for once!"

"What's your definition of normal, wise guy? AH? You think I enjoy the fact that I can't have kids without a few near death experiences? I don't hate children, alright? I just don't want to have any with the likes of YOU, and you know what? Even if it were Ichiro, I'd _still _say no." His face turned blank at the mention of Ichiro's name, and I suddenly became aware of the line I just crossed.

"Ah. I see. Well that's just…that's just great then." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly before pushing past me to leave the room.

"Wait, Hyo Yeoung-ah -"

"It's fine. No big deal. You resent my presence. Judo, we're going for a walk." Completely oblivious to the situation, Judo bounded towards Hyo Yeoung at the mention of a trip outside. Hyo Yeoung snapped the leash on him and started for the door.

"Hyo Yeoung-ssi," I snapped. He turned to face me just as he was heading out the door. I don't exactly know what was going through my mind. So many things were fluttering around in there all at once, and it suddenly all felt so overwhelming. Was this going to be _my _only chance to have kids? What if Ichiro never came back? And what if, for some weird reason, this really was the only opportunity I would ever have, regardless of whether Ichiro came back or not? Either way, it all seemed futile. I was also distinctly aware that me and Hyo Yeoung's physical relationship was in a deep, nonexistent hole as it was. He _had _waited two months to broach this subject, hadn't he? Hell, normal people have sex on the first night after the wedding ceremony, didn't they? I finally blurted something out that was only half decided in my head.

"Fine. We can…we can try, or - I don't know. We'll see." My cheeks were flaming as I said this; I couldn't imagine performing this act with anyone other than Ichiro, but the thought instantly sent a pang to my heart.

Hyo Yeoung was rather patient with most things. In fact, that may have been the only thing that kept me sane for the first few months.

But he was unfortunately manipulative in some ways. He knew what strings he could pull to get me to relent to his will, and I was positive that he was going to use this technique to destroy me from the inside out.


	16. Chapter 16: Third Flaw

_3__rd__ Month – 3__rd__ Flaw_

In many ways, I felt awful for the way I was acting. I was ashamed of how much I loved and missed Ichiro in the presence of Hyo Yeoung, who was blessed with an unforgiving amount of patience in most aspects of our marriage.

But at the same time, I couldn't help but notice…

Hyo Yeoung still had a thing for Kazuha.

Now that Ichiro was gone, we all merged together in order to compensate for the emptiness left behind by him. We ate together occasionally, sometimes we just sat around and talked while playing cards – all that stuff. Needless to say, it wasn't the most entertaining use of my time now that Hyo Yeoung was involved, which already created an immeasurable amount of awkwardness in itself.

So I couldn't help but wonder…what were his feelings, honestly? I also pondered whether or not Heiji noticed. Sometimes I was sure he was giving Hyo Yeoung secret death glares, but the next moment he was open and accepting, which I had to admit was also suspicious, since this is Heiji we're talking about.

I never gathered the courage to ask though, and was even more afraid to approach Hyo Yeoung about it. What if he thought that I was accusing him in a way? What if he came to the conclusion that I was hypocritical? And maybe I was, but that didn't mean I wanted to be _called _that…

One day however, it got to be too much. We were in our apartment, and Heiji and I were sitting in the living room, him enjoying a beer while I sipped my water every once and a while. Hyo Yeoung had gone into the kitchen to arrange some tidbits of sorts, and Kazuha had gotten up to find her phone that she left in her coat pocket by the door.

"…So I asked him if he ever saw someone die before, and he went _insane._ Started sweating, trying to tell me that death was an uncomfortable subject of discussion for him since he witnessed his grandfather's death as a child. But I saw right through it. It's almost like I have deception radar or something, I mean, I just _know._"

"…That's fantastic," I mumbled. Heiji responded with a dull look. Obviously, I wasn't paying much attention, since I was focused on the matter at hand involving Hyo Yeoung and Kazuha being gone for so long.

Okay, so it was only 7 minutes, but did it really take that long to get something from your coat pocket?

"I'll be right back." I interrupted whatever lame story I had already heard before as I got up and strode to the kitchen.

"Hyo Yeoung-ah, do you think -" I stepped into the kitchen and stopped.

Well, at least they're not really…doing anything…

"Hm?" Hyo Yeoung responded, looking away from Kazuha. They were evidently having some sort of serious conversation of sorts, as Hyo Yeoung wasn't even paying attention to getting the snacks. Kazuha looked downright nervous, her arms crossed tightly across her chest and her cheeks slightly pink. It wasn't a good kind of nervous, I noted, which made me feel a bit better.

Except I was also aware that Hyo Yeoung was _probably _flirting with her, but whatever.

"Uh…nothing," I muttered. "Just came to see what was taking so long. Everything alright, Kazuha?" She blinked at me and then nodded feverishly.

"Y-Yeah! Yes, of course. I'll just um…" She passed by me without another word, and I stared at Hyo Yeoung questioningly.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing," he replied, completely composed and calm. "Just discussing futuristic terms. You know." I really didn't, but I nodded once, slowly, then turned on my heel and returned to the living room.

I sat quietly through the rest of the random conversation, all the while looking back and forth between Hyo Yeoung and Kazuha as inconspicuously as possible. No one appeared to notice for the next hour and a half, and then Kazuha and Heiji left.

Hyo Yeoung gathered the glasses and strolled into the kitchen, whistling tunelessly as he went. I followed him, my jaw taught for a reason I couldn't even understand.

"So. Kazuha's pretty funny, huh?" I started. He hesitated at the sink, but smoothly recovered and started to scrub with soapy water. "I mean, that story about Heiji and her, with the swing set? Oh, and have you heard the story about them being handcuffed together?" I was smiling as I asked him these questions; it hurt my face.

"…I haven't, actually."

"Ah. Well. That's a pretty good one. So what were you two talking about in here?" I glared at his back until I saw red.

"Like I said," he responded amiably, though there was a hint of anxiety underneath. "Nothing much. I asked her what her plans for the future were, she responded."

"That's it?"

"Yeah, I guess. Why?"

"Just wondering. Hyo Yeoung-ah…"

"Yes?"

"…Do you still like her?" And there it was, out in the open, forever lost to curiosity and all its misfortunes. He thought carefully for a moment as he dried a glass as deliberately as possible.

"Yes." I felt a pang in my chest. But why? It wasn't like I actually loved this guy or anything, so what was my problem?

"Okay. Good to know." I took a deep breath and tried to leave, but he called after me.

"Look, nothing happened, alright? Why does it matter anyway?" I turned back around, only mildly interested.

"I don't know. I was just making sure this wasn't going to cause problems. As long as you leave Kazuha alone, everything should be fine. You are going to leave her alone, right?"

"I…Kokone, I can't exactly _help _myself. It's not like I'm going to do anything, but I'm just telling you…I can't help the way I_ feel._ You understand…right?"

"…Why would I understand?" Something simmered in my stomach menacingly.

"Well, with Ichiro and all that -"

"Please _don't _bring him into this…" I sighed, rubbing my temple as it pounded.

"It's true though! You love him, don't you? And don't even try to lie -"

"I'm not _denying _anything, I'm just telling you that it doesn't _matter_ at this point. I wouldn't cheat on you with him because I'm an honest person!" We were getting defensive again, and my heart was thumping awkwardly in response to this half truth. "The question is: will _you_ do the same?"

"Are you calling me a dishonest person?" He demanded to know.

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. What's it to you!"

"Cut it out! You can't accuse me of this crap when you're moping around about your stupid ex-boyfriend all the time!" This was completely unlike Hyo Yeoung, so I just stared at him in disbelief for a second.

"So are you saying we're even or something?"

"If you want to say that, sure."

"But it's not the same thing when you're _flirting _with her RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME," I yelled.

"Flirting? When was I flirting?"

"Oh, please, you do it all the time!"

"I do not!"

"Oh alright, so I just invent these little innuendos that make Kazuha so nervous she almost has a seizure. Just quit messing around, alright? I know this isn't the ideal marriage that you wanted, but that doesn't mean you can do this kind of stuff and play it off by saying we're in the same situation!"

"Kokone, do you know _why _I like Kazuha?" he was suddenly flustered, and his fists were clenched next to his sides.

"Why!"

"Because she's kind! And you know what, I actually like her a _hell _of a lot more than I like you because of it. She is never rude to me, she never disrespects me or tries to make it seem like I'm to blame for everything…let's just say she's a LOT more tolerable than you!" My eyes stung, despite myself.

"Oh. Oh, okay. I see. Well in that case, why don't I just get out of your hair, then. I mean, God forbid I feel angry for not being able to marry whomever I choose!" I threw my hands in the air and snatched my jacket as I started for the door.

"Just where do you think you're going!" he hollered after me.

"Get the hell away from me, you jerk." He stepped forward and gripped me at the elbow to turn me around. I wrenched myself away from him and elbowed him hard in the ribs in the process. "DON'T TOUCH ME."

"Kokone. Hey! Dammit, can't you be open-minded for _once -_" Nope, I thought as I slammed the door. I only had my cell phone and my car keys in my jacket pockets, but I decidedly rushed to the airport without a second thought.

When I arrived in Tokyo and somehow landed on the Professor's doorstep once again, I was a mess. My hair was all mussed up in a screwy ponytail, my jacket seemed grungy and my shoes and pants were worn.

And still, Shiho wasn't surprised. She stood there and looked me up and down for a moment before leaving the door open as she headed back inside.

I fell in step behind her and didn't look back.

AN: Hey guys, sorry I've been slow with updating. I've been super busy with school :[ I'll try harder to get more chapters out. But thanks for reading and reviewing!


	17. Chapter 17: Runaway

"Do you plan on leaving any time soon?" I glanced up from the article I was reading on the sofa while reclined with my head on one arm of it, my legs dangling every which way. Shiho was sipping her tea as she eyed me suspiciously.

"Maybe."

"But not back to Osaka," she assumed. I didn't say anything; she understood this as confirmation.

"Are you ever going to tell me what happened exactly?"

"Maybe," I allowed again. She didn't appear to be affected by this, as she turned her attention back to her book. We had been hanging around in silence for quite some time, as if nothing was amiss. I still looked like a hot mess, and was pretty sure I stunk of airport, but it only mattered that I was a decent distance away from my life at home.

This was what I loved about Shiho, though. We weren't particularly close, which was absolutely _fantastic._ We knew just enough about each other to not care what the other said. I mean sure, there was that really morbid yet special bond that we shared through the death of our family members, but other than that, we were just a couple of girls that had hardly anything to do with each other.

I was aware that she never came to me for anything, but then again, she didn't exactly _do _anything besides research studies and the like. Sometimes this made me feel like a really obnoxious person, but she didn't seem to care whether I was there or not, so I managed to force myself to feel welcome.

"I need to go buy groceries. Hakase may be back soon." She abruptly got up and set her teacup carefully into the sink before grabbing her purse and her petticoat jacket.

"Alright. See you soon," I responded. After about 20 minutes, I got bored, and decided to try and sleep.

I had no idea that I would sleep through the rest of the day _and _the night. I finally woke up to the sound of some absurd kind of metalworking coming from behind the couch. Probably Hakase, I thought. Another ridiculous invention.

"…Mmmmmohhhhhh…" I groaned lazily into the couch. I lifted my head up and shifted so that I was sitting up, rubbing my eyes as I rose.

"Good. You're awake. Now, do you plan on hiding out here for much longer?" Shiho was standing confidently off to the side, her arms crossed. She had on something that one would wear as a uniform for work: a traditional button down shirt tucked into high-wasted pants that showed off her curves nicely.

When I gave her the antidote, I didn't know what to expect. No one knew just how old she was until she changed back, and even then I couldn't be sure. She looked to be maybe 20 or so, with womanly and strict features that accentuated her sharp personality.

"I don't know…I might pay the Kudos a visit. Have you seen them lately?"

"No." Typical, I thought.

"Could I borrow your shower then? And…possibly some clothes?" She sighed, but her expression didn't change as she led me to her room, where she shoved some clean clothes that resembled her outfit into my hands. After a nice shower, I got dressed and felt rather…business-y.

"Okay…I guess I'll see you around…" I was unsure how to say goodbye. After all, I hadn't explained what I was doing there in the first place.

"Are you sure you have nothing to say?" She asked bluntly, fixing my shirt for me so that it was evenly tucked.

"…Maybe later. How about I buy dinner tonight?"

"Fine. I'll be home by 6. Don't come later than 9 if you want to eat." Before I was out the door, she placed my phone forcefully into my hand, then took a step back.

"Sure, sure. I'll be seeing you."

"Goodbye, Kokawa-san." I shut the front door behind me and started on my way to the Kudo household. As I walked, I checked my phone.

Seven missed calls. I sighed, then clicked the button to bring up the list. There was only one from Hyo Yeoung, which actually kind of pissed me off for some reason, while the rest varied between Kazuha and Heiji. There was also a voicemail, but I didn't bother to listen to it. I jabbed the end button with my thumb and stuffed the phone into my pocket angrily.

Once I reached their house, I hesitated on the door step. Should I have called first? Or was it a mistake to come at all? They undoubtedly would ask what I was doing here, and Shinichi would see through my lies faster than I would be able spit them out.

This is a bad idea, I thought. I'll just walk around for a day or something instead. I turned and started back down the steps when the door opened behind me.

"I don't think the paper came today, Ran." I froze, not sure what to do. "Ah le? Kokone-chan?" I slowly turned to face him.

"H-Hey…" I waved half-heartedly.

"What're you doing here?" He was standing just outside of the door when Ran came up behind him.

"Are you sure? That's strange, usually the paper is…oh! Kokone-chan!" She moved around Shinichi, placing a hand on his shoulder casually. He snaked an arm around her waist as if it was nothing out of the ordinary – in fact, he didn't even seem to realize he was performing the action in the first place.

"How have you been? Would you like to come in?" I bit my lip. She was always so gracious and accepting.

"I…Sure," I allowed, giving in completely. "That would be nice."

They led me inside and through their simple yet wonderful house. The walls were a soft shade of blue with a white trim, and there were flowers strewn about available surfaces. A beautiful grand piano sat expectantly in front of a large window that I hadn't noticed until I was inside. I wondered absently who played it…

"Would you like some tea, Kokone-chan?" Ran chimed like a bell. We were seated around the kitchen table, where there was evidence left behind of breakfast still in the process of being eaten. Shinichi bit into a piece of his already bitten-into toast, watching me carefully.

"No, thanks. I'm fine." Ran smiled warmly and sat across from me, next to her husband.

"So what brings you here? Ahhh, how long has it been?" She looked to Shinichi for the answer, but he just shrugged. She smacked him playfully on the shoulder.

"Mouuu, Shinichi. How can you not remember how long it's been since our wedding?"

"I thought I was only responsible for remembering anniversaries by the year…" He looked at her wide eyed, giving him the appearance of an honestly clueless child. She rolled her eyes, but didn't seem as bothered as she wanted to be.

"It's been 7 months," I piped up. They both looked at me, as if just realizing my presence. "I've been counting." Shinichi opened his mouth to say something when my phone started to ring, causing me to jump. I shifted my weight slightly so I could pull it out of my pocket, checking the caller ID.

It was a number I didn't recognize, though it was local to Osaka, so I knew better than to answer it. Probably Heiji or something, trying to get me to answer. I growled slightly before I rejected the call and shoved the phone back into my pocket.

"Is…everything alright, Kokone-chan?" Ran asked worriedly, placing her hands on the table as if she wanted me to take them. I just looked at them and took a moment to answer.

"Not really. Life is kind of kicking my ass right now." I tried to chuckle, but they didn't buy it as they exchanged looks of concern.

"Where's Ichiro-san?" Shinichi asked. I raised my gaze to meet his, and with one look I was able to tell: he just _knew._

"I have no idea," I admitted quietly as I had a staring contest with the table.

"Are you…looking for him?" Ran wondered, confused.

"No. He's somewhere in America or something. Ask Heiji, he would know." I said this a bit sourly, since I was still kind of pissed that Ichiro would talk to Heiji and not me.

"Heiji knows? Then what the hell, why doesn't he tell you -" Shinichi started, suddenly frustrated.

"Because it doesn't matter. I'm not going to go track him down. That would just be…miserably humiliating. And even if I could and _did_, there's nothing I could say that would make him come back…" I had forgotten they were there at all as I continued to think out loud.

"What happened?" Ran asked worriedly. I looked up to meet her wide, concerned blue eyes.

"A lot," I sighed. "A lot of shit happened." She jolted slightly at the use of my obscene language.

"You got married," Shinichi stated, glancing at my left hand. I instantly reached for my stupid wedding ring and took it off, raising it to my face in order to observe it closely as I had done many times before.

"Yep."

"You got _married?_" Ran exclaimed. "Why wasn't I invited! And why is Ichiro hiding from it?" I bit my lip as she spat out this assumption that we were married, of all the situations.

"I didn't marry Ichiro," I muttered. Ran stared in silence as if I had said nothing, not comprehending.

"…Ichiro isn't…?"

"That's…kind of why he left." _Sort of. That's not a lie, right?_ Ran gasped as everything suddenly clicked together. Shinichi continued to watch me with cautious and probing eyes.

"Kokone-chan…who did you marry?" She seemed utterly bewildered by the idea that I could have married anyone other than Ichiro. Then again, I was when I first found out as well…

"Hyo Yeoung. That guy that came to visit me in the hospital or whatever. I don't know if you've met him…My mom likes him," I threw in randomly.

"Ah. Arranged," Shinichi murmured as he took a sip of whatever he was drinking, appearing to be deep in thought.

"Wait…so you're not looking for Ichiro-san?" Ran asked, her eyebrows furrowing together as she looked back and forth between me and Shinichi.

"Nope. I'm just…here." I slipped my wedding ring back on slowly; it felt cold and heavy against my skin.

"Where are you staying?" Shinichi suddenly asked. He was onto something.

"Uh…"

"You don't have any bags with you. Not a single change of clothes. But you've showered recently…right?"

"…Yes," I grumbled. He was always right.

"Then you're staying with Haibara?"

"Sort of."

"What do you mean 'sort of?'" He was leaning forward slightly now, trying to get this information out of me.

"I just kind of came here. I didn't really have much time to think about it…"

"What made you decide to come here?"

"Here as in…Tokyo?" He nodded impatiently.

"Well…Miyano-san is here. I come to see her when things screw up." He raised an eyebrow at this, evidently surprised.

"So what screwed up this time?" And there it was. _The _question. I sat there and thought for a moment. What could possibly be a logical explanation?

"…My husband is an ass. Let's just leave it at that." This came out completely different than what I had planned in my mind, which I only realized after I had said it and caused them to freak out.

"What did he do to you, Kokone-chan?" Ran asked, reaching out to touch my arm earnestly. "Did he hurt you?"

"No! No, nothing like that. I mean…he's as aware of this arranged marriage as I am. Which basically means that he thinks he can flirt with other girls…namely Kazuha." Both of their jaws dropped slightly, and Ran actually seemed a bit angry about this.

"He has a thing for Kazuha? Your _husband _has a thing for _Kazuha?_" Shinichi clarified. I nodded.

"We had a fight about it. Everything blew up. I left. The end. Dammit, I'm about to destroy this stupid phone!" I suddenly threatened as it began to ring again. I didn't even look to see who it could be this time as I stabbed the reject button once again.

"Who keeps calling?" Ran inquired.

"I don't know. It doesn't matter."

"But…that person could be really worried about you, Kokone-chan…" She seemed to be distraught over this idea, but I just shook my head.

"Not worried. Probably just mad, if it's who I think it is. Anyway, how are _you _guys?" They exchanged wary looks before answering.

"Everything's fine here. Normal, nothing out of the ordinary…" Shinichi answered for the two of them.

"Are you still the Great Detective of the East? I hardly hear about you over in Osaka anymore," I teased with a smirk. This successfully distracted him from the previous situation.

"Of course I am!" he declared. Ran nudged him with a look of disapproval.

"Don't sound so sure of yourself. It's rude." I expected this to spark an argument, but Shinichi was surprisingly compliant with this direction.

"Sorry…" he mumbled. Funny, I thought to myself. They get married, the petty arguments cease. I get married, and all we do is argue. Isn't that always the way?

My phone rang again.

"Oh for God's sakes," I grumbled as I took my phone out of my pocket once again, this time answering it. "What?" I snapped into the receiver, distinctively irritated. Shinichi and Ran watched me cautiously, waiting.

"KOKONE WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? YOU COULD HAVE BEEN DEAD FOR ALL WE KNEW, WHAT WOULD I TELL ICHIRO-SAN? HUH? HUH?" Heiji was screaming so loud into the phone that I nearly dropped the damn thing. Shinichi raised his eyebrows.

"You'd tell him that he could come home now that I was permanently removed from the country," I responded coolly.

"You quit talking like that right now! You think you're so funny, don't you. You know how many times Kazuha and I have called you? And what about Hyo Yeoung? What about _Kazuko -chan_?"

"He called once," I muttered. I only heard that one question out of everything he had just said: _And what about Hyo Yeoung?_ What about him? There was too much. I stared at my clenched fist as it rested on the table.

"-And you just up and LEAVE, like that. We don't need another…wait. Who called once?"

"He called. Once." Heiji waited for a moment in silence.

"What do you mean he called once?" He finally asked, calming down now.

"Exactly that. And the other one…he didn't even call."

"Other one? You mean Ichiro-san? Wait, who -"

"It doesn't matter, Heiji," I sighed, looking up the ceiling as if for an answer. "I'll be home tomorrow."

"Uh…alright…" He responded stupidly, still obviously confused. I hung up.

"Well. I'd better get going. I have to take Shiho-chan to dinner and then book a flight home." I stood up and pushed my chair in, ignoring the glares of questioning digging into my back as I left.

"Wait!" Ran called, getting up quickly, causing the chair to screech slightly against the wood. "We'll come to visit you soon. Okay? Kokone-chan?" She had this way of getting people to obey her. How could I pretend to not care when she was pleading like this?

"Yeah, okay. See you then. Bye, Kudos." I smiled as best as I could as I shut the door behind me.


	18. Chapter 18: Honey, I'm Home

_3 Months Later, Ogawa Ichiro's POV_

This is it, I told myself. My first day back to normalcy.

But what was normalcy at this point? I still couldn't decide. However, I much preferred Japan to America, though I learned a great deal in the short amount of time that I studied there. I had resided in Boston, Massachusetts for the past 6 months when I finally concluded that it was time to come home.

Well, I was sort of shoved into this decision by my parents and Hattori, to name a few. But still.

I took a deep breath and stepped out of the intern locker room and into the hallway, inhaling the scent of rubbing alcohol. To this day, I'm still not sure whether I like that smell or not.

No one knew I was back. No one _that _important anyway. Just my coworkers and my boss, who had graciously given me my job back after a few heated discussions. I hadn't talked to Hattori in about a month, though he had been calling me a lot lately, leaving messages that went along the lines of "Things aren't so great with Kokone."

Kokone. That girl drove me absolutely _crazy._ But that night, everything happened so fast and I knew it was wrong…so why hadn't I prevented it from happening?

Exactly. Because she drove me crazy.

Now, I wasn't so sure if this was a good, energized crazy or a literally off-your-rocker crazy, but that didn't need to be determined necessarily. I had taken care of my issues for the most part. Everything was fine. Things could fall into place. Right?

I could get over her. I could. It would be easy. I already took care of the major parts of it anyway by leaving, so now all I had to do was –

"Ogawa-san, we need you over here." I jolted back to reality and turned to see one of the nurses attempting to lead me to the emergency room, where all the patients brought in by ambulances went first thing. "There aren't enough hands right now, and no one has apparently gotten a word out of this patient since before her accident."

"What happened?" I asked, taking the chart as we walked hurriedly down the hall. In the distance I could hear ambulance sirens. We were getting close; though it had been a while, I hadn't forgotten much about this place.

"Well…we don't really know, but she's apparently having panic attacks of sorts. Anyway, if you could take over…?"

"Sure. No problem." _Takotsubo cardiomyopathy_, someone had scrawled onto the admittance form. Age 23. Chest pains.

No way. No freakin' way. I started to run.

Once I made it into the emergency room, all hell was breaking loose. People were shuffling around, instruments and tools and people hopping from place to place in an attempt to aid the ailed. I scanned the room and spotted Heiji as he stood by a bed, hovering over a girl on the hospital bed in front of him. He chose that moment to look up, panic and anger crossing his face.

"Hey, we need help over here!" He hollered to no one in particular. No one paid him any attention. I jogged over there. It took him a moment, but he finally recognized me in incredulousness.

"I-Ichiro-san? What…how did you -"

"What's going on?" I asked hurriedly as I moved to the other side of the bed to see her. She was curled up on her side, one hand clutching the sheets while her teeth were gnashed together, her eyes squeezed shut. A sheen of sweat was covering her forehead and her neck of which her hair was plastered to. Someone had put an oxygen mask over her face, but there was no way she was even attempting to breathe.

"She nearly collapsed at a crime scene. No one knows why, and she won't talk," he explained in a serious voice. I was now listening with my stethoscope – or at least trying to. Uneven thump-thumps rang in my ears. They were rapid, much more so than usual, for her anyway.

"Because she can't," I muttered, bending over so she would hear me over all the noise.

"Kokone, I need you to breathe for me, alright? Come on, cough or something. Just a small cough." If I didn't get her breathing soon, her heart could quite possibly fail. When all she did was grip the sheets tighter, Heiji stepped in.

"Kokone, _breathe._" he commanded. She opened her mouth by a miniscule increment with great effort and coughed once, then inhaled sharply. Her eyes flew open as she rasped quickly, in and out, her face beet red. I reached out with my stethoscope and took another minute to listen. Better, I thought. Not ideal, but better. She reached up and pressed the oxygen mask to her face, inhaling deeply as she closed her eyes, suddenly exhausted.

"Can you tell me what happened, Kokone?" I asked, ready to write it down.

"Kokone-ah? Excuse me, I'm looking for my wife. Her name is – oh! Never mind, she's right here. Thanks." Heiji and I turned just in time to see that Hyo Yeoung guy coming over, a stern look on his face.

"Is she okay?" He asked. I took a moment to answer him, suddenly hit with this wall of disbelief. So they really were married. She had definitely gone through with it.

It's like my leaving had no effect on her decision, I thought, then shook my head of these thoughts.

"She's fine for now. Do you know what happened to her by any chance?" I asked suspiciously.

"Hey…aren't you that guy…?" He cocked his head to the side, confused.

"Ogawa Ichiro. Anyway, do you know -"

"He wasn't even_ there_, Ichiro-san," Heiji interrupted sourly. He was giving Hyo Yeoung a vicious look that he didn't seem to notice.

"I have no idea what happened," Hyo Yeoung answered anyway. "I just got called down here." He maneuvered around us and knelt over to speak with Kokone.

"Are you alright? Ah? Jesus, isn't this the 5th time I've had to come down here to find you having another conniption?" He reached out to move the stray hairs away from her face. I swallowed noisily. She swatted his hand away, suddenly aware of her surroundings once again. She removed the mask from her face to respond.

"It's only the 4th. I'm sorry to have interrupted your _oh_ so busy schedule." Her words seemed to drip with sarcasm. He just sighed.

"You're always grumpy after you get one of these…what are they? Are they heart attacks? Do you know what's wrong with her?" He looked up at me for an answer.

"Uh – not exactly." He frowned at me, then turned back to Kokone.

"We'll get you home then, I suppose…Maybe you should take off from work or something. You seem to be more on edge than ever lately…" She inhaled sharply and whimpered as she shut her eyes once more.

"Stopstopstop, just get _away_ from me!" She nearly shrieked, causing people to glance over at us nervously.

"What – what did I say?" He asked worriedly as he fluttered over her, trying to help somehow. She stuck the oxygen mask back over her mouth and nose, absorbing the pure oxygen.

"I'm not going to fight with you right now, alright? Go home. I'll see you later tonight."

"No one's fighting right now, I'm just trying to figure out what's going on with you!" He insisted innocently. She propped herself up on her elbows to get some leverage.

"That's the _problem._ Mind your own business!"

"Your business _is _my business!"

"Says who?"

"Says the _law_! We're married, remember? Oh, of course you're not wearing your ring again…"

"You don't wear rings when you're finding evidence at crime scenes!"

"Where is it then, at the lab? No, it's probably in the bathroom again, where you always put it because you think I don't notice!"

"So I forgot to put it back on after my shower, is that anything to use against me? What about _you_, forgetting that I'm your wife in the first place whenever KAZUHA'S around!" He groaned.

"Oh give it up already, I told you it's not _like _that!"

"It is too and you KNOW IT -" she broke off then as she leaned forward and moaned, clutching her chest. "Just GO. HOME." She spoke through her teeth with a growl.

"But -"

"Go home. I'll take care of everything," Heiji interrupted them sternly. He didn't seem to be particularly pleased with Hyo Yeoung's existence. I was a bit partial to him as well. Hyo Yeoung just looked at Heiji for a moment, then wiped a hand over his face with a tired expression. I stepped forward and placed the mask back over Kokone's face. She didn't appear to notice.

"Alright. Fine. Call me if you need anything." He slumped away as he shook his head.

"Kokone, can you tell me what you were doing when you collapsed?" I asked her cautiously. This was such a strange to reunite; I wasn't even sure if she knew I was her doctor up until that point.

"I didn't collapse," she spat. "Don't believe everything Heiji says." Hattori just rolled his eyes.

"…Okay, then what happened exactly?"

"I don't know, okay? These things just happen, it's not like I can do anything about it." She laid back now and rested her forearm over her eyes to block out the harsh lighting of the hospital. Well, so much for making a big deal about me coming back, I thought to myself. My ego was a bit bruised, as I had thought she would at least react in _some _way…I looked to Heiji for help. He sighed, then began to explain as if he had already done so millions of times.

"She's stressin' out a lot lately. Her good-for-nothing husband is causing problems, and she refuses to do anything but work as long as she's not at home." Kokone growled, but didn't refute this.

"Kokone, maybe you should take it easy…"

"Don't tell me what to do," she grumbled. "_You_ of all people have absolutely _no _right to tell me what to do." I didn't really know how to respond to that. Heiji looked away awkwardly.

"Uhh…" I emitted stupidly.

"Can I go home now?" She asked impatiently, already getting up. Heiji stood in front of her though, wagging a finger at her to show her that she wasn't about to up and leave.

"Nope. Not until you admit that you're going to take a week or two off of work and relax."

"I will do no such thing. Now get out of the way and drive me home."

"_I _will do no such thing." He mocked her. Kokone's eye twitched in anger.

"Dammit Heiji, why can't you just deal with your own problems? Why can't _everyone _just mind their own damn business? Trust me, if you make me stay _home _with my _husband,_" she seethed. "I will most definitely perish."

"Then you can stay at my place, or Kazuha's, or go to Tokyo or something. But seriously Kokone, this is the 4th time already. You hear that, Ichiro-san? This is 4th time!"

"If you choose to return to work, you'll have to sign a form that says you're choosing to ignore my advice as your doctor."

"You're not my doctor!" God, stubborn as ever.

"Kokone," I said harshly. She looked at me now, muse in her eyes as if she were daring me to take a step further while also respecting my authority. "I am not only your doctor, but I am your friend. I'll go so far as to say that I am your _best _friend, and that has no form for you to sign. You're not going to go to work for the next two weeks, alright? Stay with Heiji or Kazuha, like he said." She stared at me in disbelief, then stiffly got off of the hospital bed and pushed past Heiji to leave without a word. Hattori just sighed, as if he expected this.

"I told you things were bad," he muttered. "Why haven't you been answering my calls?"

"…Got busy. I guess." I felt so useless at that moment; everything around us was futile.

"Busy," he scoffed. "You need to do something about this whole marriage thing already. They argue nonstop, and Hyo Yeoung is flirting with _my _Kazuha." The latter seemed to upset him the most, but I ignored that assumption.

"Hattori, I can't do squat about this situation. Everything is up to her."

"No, it isn't! She has like, _no _control over anything. To be honest, I'm pretty sure she's going to lose it at some point…"

"Hattori…she didn't even care that I was here." He didn't really know what to say to that as he blinked at me for a moment or two.

"Well regardless, she won't let anyone help. Someone's got to." And with that reassuring statement, he left.

This is going to be a long day.


	19. Chapter 19: Surprise, Surprise

Once my shift was over for the day, I debated whether or not I should go home. The idea of having someone waiting for me there was almost nauseating, but it had been a reflex decision to return with her.

No, I thought. I'll wait a few more hours. But what to do?

Judo! Of course, my dog! How could I have forgotten? I had missed that rascal more than I ever thought I would while I was gone.

I found myself automatically heading towards Kokone's apartment.

_Ding!_ the elevator chimed happily when I reached her floor. I exhaled fully before I stepped off of the elevator and was met with a wall of Korean hollering. I actually stood there and blinked for a moment. What was with all the yelling? And it was loud enough to be heard from the elevator? Sheesh. I headed towards the noise, which I concluded was Kokone's apartment, and stood outside the door to listen quietly.

"…I don't have _time _for kids! You of all people should know that!"

"Well you seem to have PLENTY of time for Kazuko, don't you!"

"Kazuko has NOTHING to do with this! And I am not discussing this anymore! Besides, you know how weak my heart is being right now with _you _around. Just imagine what would happen if I had _your child_."

Kids? I gulped. They were arguing about the possibility of having them. It didn't seem to be the first time either.

"Maybe you shouldn't work so much so that you can get stronger, ah? EVER THOUGHT OF THAT?"

"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS."

"YOU'RE MY WIFE! WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, I ACTUALLY DO CARE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU."

"I DON'T SEE HOW YOU COULD POSSIBLY HAVE TIME FOR THAT, SEEING AS HOW YOU SPEND ALL YOUR FREE TIME ATTEMPTING TO SCORE WITH ANYONE BUT ME!"

"AND HERE WE ARE, BACK WHERE WE STARTED. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST -"

I interrupted them by knocking loudly, unable to listen to him yell at her anymore. This wasn't what Kokone deserved, not by a long shot.

After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Kokone answered the door. She poked her head out slightly, then realized it was me and came out all the way, closing the door quietly behind her.

"Ichiro. What are you doing here?" She looked so defeated at that moment that I actually felt a pang in my chest.

"I…I came to get Judo." When she just stared at me blankly, I assumed the worst. "…He's still here, isn't he?" She blinked, as if coming back to reality and spoke.

"Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's here. He's…hiding somewhere. I can bring him by in an hour or so. Things are…we're busy right now." I noted the dark circles under her eyes, and how her face remained as breathtakingly beautiful as ever regardless of their existence.

"Huh," I said, agreeing. "Okay. Is…everything alright?" I don't know what prompted me to ask such a ridiculous question, and I definitely didn't want to hear whatever lie she would come up with to make everything seem just dandy. She continued to look straight into my eyes, as if she were willing me to see something that no one else could.

But then her fascinatingly blue orbs started to water slightly, and she squinted to prevent the tears from escaping.

"You lied," she stated. I had to let this compute for a second. What? Lied? I did leave out of nowhere, but that wasn't _lying_…was it?

"I…huh?" I sputtered stupidly. She looked down at her feet as she clasped her hands together tightly.

"You promised that everything would turn out okay," she whispered, almost inaudibly. "Everything would be fine. You _promised._" She looked up again, this time with hurt pouring from her eyes while the tears remained just above her eyelids. "And now," she seethed. "everything is pure _crap._"

I stood there for a moment, completely unsure how to react. Before I knew it or even had a chance to respond though, she was already in her apartment. I didn't wait around to hear if the screaming would start up again as I sighed and turned to leave.

_Kokawa Kokone's POV:_

It was all worthless. Everything was. It was all stupid too. Just. Stupid. I tried not to react – I really did – but there was only so much I could do.

And now, here I was, sitting in my car with Judo and all his supplies, thinking about where I could go from here. The sweet little dog just sat in the passenger seat, watching me with his tongue hanging out, just as delighted as he could possibly be. His food bowl was on the floor in front of the seat, and his leash was already hooked onto his collar.

Was he really going to take this away from me? This dog was my only solace for quite some time, and maybe now that Ichiro was back things would change, but I couldn't help but think…

This dog had quite possibly saved my ass on many levels. When discussions turned into heated accusations thrown back and forth, Judo would always step up if it got too intense. Granted, he spent most of the time Hyo Yeoung and I spent fighting hiding under my bed, but still. It was nice to know he was even there, especially since no one else was.

I was parked in Ichiro's driveway, but I honestly had no way of knowing that for sure, as I had focused on not absorbing my surroundings to ease the inevitable emptiness I would feel later. I knew where this house was by heart, could find it if you picked me up in a helicopter and dropped me at any random point in the city no matter what. So when I looked up to see the house I hadn't been to in months –

…Why is Heiji's car in the driveway?

This spurt of curiosity was enough to get me out of the car. I grabbed Judo's bowl and his leash, and we were headed inside.

I knocked timidly on the door, afraid to see what was on the other side, even though it could only be one of three people if Kazuha was there as well. I had two thirds of a chance of not being adversely affected by the person answering the door, and though that was more than fifty percent –

I still didn't like those odds.

As soon as I figured out that Ichiro was back, I knew it would only get harder to hide myself with every visit or encounter. He was the only one that could read me like an open book. Even _Heiji_ couldn't do that yet, and he was a famous detective on the police force for God's sakes.

There was also the possibility of hurting him more by opening up about all the crap that had been going on, and I just couldn't bring myself to do that either.

"Hey, it's Kokone!" Heiji answered the door. The sense of relief that I thought I'd feel didn't come. Heiji had a fake smile plastered on his face; something was definitely messed up.

"…Why are you looking at me like that?" He laughed shakily before responding.

"Like what? Ha ha ha! I'm just happy to see my friend!" I just stared at him. Why wasn't he letting me in?

"…Right. Well, I have his dog, so if you'd open the door and let him in that'd be great." Judo was still a bit partial to Heiji, and already had his tail down along with his ears in a defensive position next to me. When he glanced down to see this as well, Heiji thought better of himself and stepped out of the way.

"Ichiro-san! Your dog's here!"

"Dog? You have a dog? Ohhh, what's his name!" A high, cutesy female voice responded from the kitchen. I immediately froze. Just as I was about to compute this strange voice that obviously didn't belong here, the woman that it must have belonged to danced into the entryway. Ichiro followed behind her, and I could see there was a slight sense of fear in his eyes as they met mine for a millisecond.

The girl was maybe 2 or 3 inches taller than me, thin as a pole yet curvy as a winding river, and had hair down to her jawline that was dyed a form of chestnut. She was obviously Japanese though, and I didn't just know that because of her face, but because she was also speaking the language fluently when she came in. When she saw Judo's furry white body, she exploded with happiness.

"He's so _adorable!_ Chiro-kun, how come you never told me you had a dog!" She cooed and stroked the dog's head sweetly.

And damn that dog to hell, he was enjoying it.

"…Slipped my mind," Ichiro mumbled. He was watching me. But I wasn't going to look. I was too busy staring at the unreasonably pretty girl in front of me. After having sufficiently petted Judo, she stood up and got ready to introduce herself. However, when she saw my face, she inhaled sharply and covered her mouth in surprise. I raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

"Is there a problem?" I slightly grumbled, feeling the hairs on my neck stand up. She shook her head and continued to stare at me in awe.

"Wowwww…You _have _to be Kokone-chan, right? Ahhhh, you're even more beautiful than he described! I'm so jealous! Do I have anything to worry about, Chiro-kun?" She turned to him with her hands planted on her hips in mock anger, and when Ichiro shook his head emotionlessly in response to her question she whirled around and extended her arms for a hug.

Who gives out hugs like that?

Also, who wears cute, fluffy yet simple dresses that show off every possible curve there was to show? And in what world is it okay for her to call _me _beautiful?

This sick one that I've lived in for far too long, I answered to myself. I just looked at her, not willing to step forward and take up her offer. After a moment, she bit her lip and took that first step as she wrapped her thin, lanky arms around my shoulders, then pulled back with a warm smile.

"I hope we can be good friends! Chiro-kun has told me _so _much about you!"

If she calls him that one more time, I _just might _throw her into a wall.

"And you are?" I finally croaked out.

"Shimizu Hikari, Chiro-kun's girlfriend. I'm so glad I got to meet you!" I could have sworn you could hear my heart snapping in half. I certainly did.

"…Kokawa Kokone," I muttered almost inaudibly. "Well, I'd better get going then."

"Why don't you stay for dinner? Hattori-san is, so you should too! The more the merrier!" A deep throb began to present itself behind my left eyebrow. That voice, I thought to myself in anguish. I can't _stand _how happy she is.

"No, I have to stay with my mother tonight. She's waiting. I'll see you at work next week, Heiji." I nodded once before I let go of Judo's leash. "…Bye, Judo." He glanced away from the new girl for a second, cocking his head to the side at the mentioning of his name.

"Why are you staying with your mom?" Heiji asked curiously, not seeming to understand that this was a fairly regular occurrence since my marriage was absolute hell.

"…Because I can't stay home anymore. Not with my dead-beat husband there." Then, with a horribly fake, saccharine smile, I turned to Hikari and gave her a nice, sarcastic pat on the shoulder. "It was just _so _nice to meet you."

And then I left.


	20. Chapter 20: Jealousy is an Evil Monster

"Omma," I said as a greeting when I let myself in. She wasn't anywhere in sight, but somehow I knew she was home. I dropped my car keys on the table just by the front door and slid off my shoes mechanically before I made my way to the couch.

Sleep, I thought. All I need is some sleep.

"Ah, _you_ again. Can't you ever make anything work? You've always been so difficult to deal with." In my mother came, shaking her head, altogether unsurprised to find me sprawled across her couch on a Friday night. I just laid there on my back, staring up at the ceiling. I had figured out over the years that sometimes it was best to just let her talk, as whatever I had to say never mattered. This time however, she stopped on her way into the kitchen and looked me over with probing eyes.

"Did anything else happen?"

Woah. Did _that _just happen?

"What do you mean?" I asked, sure I had imagined her asking me a direct question rather than shooting another accusation at me.

"It was just verbal fighting, ne? Nothing else?" She asked them in an authoritative manner, but she almost seemed…concerned.

"No, nothing else. I broke a plate. Nothing out of the ordinary. He just wants me to die in an attempt to have kids while he flirts with another man's girlfriend." I said this casually; she already knew this part, but I was pretty sure she couldn't believe that he would ever do these things. No, not sweet little Hyo Yeoung-ah.

"If he ever actually cheats on you, don't let him get away with it. I let you do tae-kwon-do for a reason, hm?" She continued on into the kitchen, officially ending this conversation.

I woke up the next morning to thumps and bumps of sorts coming from the entry way. Confused, I sat up and listened. It sounded like someone was moving something around…

"Omma, what's – hey, what are you doing with that?" I stopped short to find her standing in the entryway, watching as two moving men were attempting to safely roll my Appa's upright piano out of the house. The door was open, and a ramp covered the steps, followed by another one that led straight into the dark emptiness of the moving truck.

Except…it wasn't a moving truck. They were just simply taking it away.

"Hm? Oh, this old thing, it was taking up space and collecting dust for no reason. Nobody plays it anymore." She waved her hand at it dismissively.

"I do – _I_ play it!" I insisted, hysteria creeping into my voice. The moving men glanced at me nervously as they continued to carefully settle the piano over the bump in the doorway.

"Oh, shoo. When was the last time you played this old thing?" I hated it when she called it that. _This old thing. Is that what Appa's possessions are to you, Omma? Just little old things that can easily be replaced?_

But then I realized I couldn't recall the last time I had played on this piano in particular, so I stayed silent. They moved the piano out of the door way and successfully reached the sidewalk, but by that point I couldn't take it anymore.

"No. Excuse me? Here, I'll pay you for your trouble." I reached for my wallet next to my car keys and pulled out random pieces of money, not even bothering to count.

"H-Hey, what -" my mother started, following me out the door and down the steps.

"I'm sorry, it turns out we won't need you to take this after all. I'm sorry for the trouble." I bowed slightly, and placed my hands on the top of the piano, feeling the wood. It almost felt warm, for some reason, as if it had an eternal life force hidden inside.

"Kokone-ah! No, don't listen to this ridiculous child, I need to get rid of this _today._" The men looked back and forth between us, then exchanged looks, apparently uneasy about the whole situation. Who would you listen to?

"Omma, I'll take it somewhere else, alright? And I'm paying for it so you won't have to worry about it. I'll take it right now." She stared at me with her lips pursed for a second, evidently deciding whether or not she could trust me. But I didn't need her permission, so I went back inside and grabbed my things, slipped my shoes on and came back down to the piano, pulling it slightly away from the truck.

"Thank you for coming, sorry we've wasted your time." They nodded slowly in response and one of them blushed furiously before they returned to their truck. "I'll come back to get my car in a little bit, Omma." She just stared after me for a moment as I began to push the piano down the sidewalk as carefully as possible before heading back inside, shaking her head as if to say "this girl is absurd."

I didn't even know why I would think he would take it for me in the first place. But I figured I could use the whole I'm-leaving-without-saying-anything-but-take-care-of-my-dog-for-me thing against him. That was acceptable, right?

I left the piano at the steps and bounded up the stairs of his porch suddenly much more confident than I had been last night. Even my knock was solid, and I stood there rocking on my heels in anticipation for him to answer the door –

And then I totally deflated when it wasn't him.

"Good morning, Kokone-chan!" she exclaimed ever so happily. Damn her.

And what right did she have to address me by my given name? I've known her for less than 24 hours. Jesus.

"…Hey," I muttered. "Is Ichiro here?"

"Who, Chiro-kun?" I felt my eye twitch. Who else? This girl was testing me. Or maybe it was some God that was doing the testing, I couldn't be sure at that point.

"Yes. None other than Ichiro. Is he home?" She put a finger to her chin and appeared to be in deep thought, then started to laugh.

"Of course he is silly, it's Saturday morning! I don't think he has work today either." She was wearing a short nightgown with little cherries all over it, her hair tied up in a springy pony tail.

So basically, this girl was the antithesis of me.

"…..Could you call him for me then?" I was starting to get irritated just having to stand there in front of this monstrosity of cuteness. She smiled brightly at me; I felt like I was staring into the sun.

"Sure thing! Chiro-kunnnn!" She called over her shoulder. There came Ichiro, his hair a wild mess from sleeping, just the way I liked it, with his traditional plaid pajama pants and grey t-shirt on. He rubbed the back of his head and yawned, then pulled the door open a bit farther as he stood behind Hikari, who leaned into him unconsciously.

My stomach churned.

"Oh…hey, Kokone. What're you doing here so early?"

"It's not that early, is it?" I asked. But then I realized it didn't matter, so I shook my head and continued. "I was wondering if you could do something for me." I glanced at Hikari, who was delightedly enjoying our conversation as she grabbed one of Ichiro's hands and placed it on her shoulder manually. I tried my best to stare straight into his face and not notice.

Ichiro glanced over my shoulder and pulled away from Hikari, who looked slightly disappointed as he stepped out of the doorway and onto the steps, taking in the piano as it sat idly.

"Woah…did you push this all the way here?"

"It wasn't that far," I justified. "Anyway, I need you to take this." I hopped off the steps and patted the top of it lovingly.

"…Your dad's piano? You want me to have it?" He was completely mystified, and before I could give either of them the wrong idea, I quickly made up for what I said.

"Not _have _it…it's just…I woke up just in time to save it from my mother. She was trying to give it away, having people take it in their truck and everything…" I was rambling and I knew it, but how else could I explain?

"Anyway…this piano. Would you just take it please? I can't give it away. Maybe if I get out of my apartment soon I'll be able to take it back…"

"Uh…sure. Yeah, we'll take care of it." My head snapped up at the mention of a "we" that didn't include me.

"G-Great. Okay then, do you have a wooden board or something for a ramp? I don't think we could lift it up the steps, and I don't really want to try."

"Yeah, over in the garage. One second." He jogged over to the little garage that was separated from the house entirely, like its own little piece of property.

"So what do you do, Kokone-chan?" Hikari piped up cheerfully. I sneered, then turned to face her with another fake smile on my face.

"I'm a forensics specialist. What do _you_ do?"

"I've been studying literature and English, but I'm not really sure where I want to take my career yet. We'll have to see." Hmmm, I thought critically. Literature was for sissies that couldn't handle real life, I tried to tell myself. _I clearly have the mental advantage._

"Well that's just _dandy._" I smiled and copied her movements, cocking my head to the side in a condescending manner. She didn't appear to notice.

"Alright, here we go." Ichiro huffed as he heaved the large square of wood to lay it over the steps. When he came over and offered to push the piano up, I smacked his hand away without a word.

I eventually got the piano into the house and asked where the best place to put it would be, and of course, Ichiro responded with the classic "anywhere's fine."

"Whew," I breathed after I successfully had the piano in place against the far wall. I brushed my hands against my jeans, then bit my lip as I stared at it.

Should I? It _has _been awhile…and God knows I'm in love with this beautiful instrument…

So I sat down in front of the piano and played a random chord, feeling the vibrations emit from the piano and hum in my very bones. It made me so unbelievably happy for the first time in a while that I completely forgot where I was.

"Do you play piano?" Hikari chirped, suddenly appearing next to me.

"Mhm," I hummed, enjoying the ringing that resonated in my ears.

"How exciting! I've always wanted to learn. Maybe you could teach me sometime!"

"…I'll leave that to Ichiro." She gasped.

"Chiro-kun, what else don't I know about you?"

Probably a lot of things. I could probably count the meaningful things you know about him on one hand. That's right. One.

Oh God, I told myself. Get a grip. You're freaking talking to yourself.

Jealousy is an evil little monster.

"…Kokone?" I looked up, my eyebrows rising.

"Hm?"

"I asked you if you were going to come over later. Heiji says he has big news."

"Oh. Uh. I don't know…"

"Ohhhh, won't you, Kokone-chan?" She whined. I winced. "It will give us all a chance to get to know each other better!"

"It could be something really important, too. He wants you to be here," Ichiro supported. _He_ wants me there. Not _you._ Am I right?

"Fine. I'll see you tonight then."

"Good." Ichiro smiled innocently and watched me get up from the piano. Hikari continued her series of goodbyes as I wordlessly made my way out the door.

Later that night, I was sitting on the couch in my apartment, lazing about when I realized I had completely forgotten that I was supposed to be at Ichiro's. I scrambled to get up, causing Hyo Yeoung to look up from his newspaper and eye me curiously.

"What's your problem?" He asked.

"I have to go to Ichiro's. Heiji has news or something. I'll be back soon." I quickly pulled on my jeans after yanking my shorts off in the bedroom, then bustled out the door. Hyo Yeoung didn't respond.

When I arrived, everyone was all smiles. I let myself in by accident, completely forgetting that I wasn't supposed to now that everything was so screwed up and it could possibly be considered impolite, but I concluded that no one would have opened the door for me anyway if I had knocked since everything was so busy.

There were only 4 people in the kitchen, but it seemed like so much. There were excited clamoring voices that bounced through the house as I stepped carefully towards the kitchen entryway. I waited for someone to notice me, and luckily, Heiji did first. He was grinning stupidly, and had his arm around Kazuha's shoulders.

Had they been doing better with their relationship? I felt a pang of guilt as I realized I hadn't noticed anything going on with them this whole time. So what did this mean? Marriage? Or something similar to that effect?

"Kokone!" Heiji boomed, reaching out to gesture for me to join.

"…What's going on?" I asked quietly. Everyone stopped talking, but none of them could keep the smiles off of their faces. Even Hikari, who had only known these people for a day, seemed happier than Kazuha, which I never would have thought possible in the matters of her love life with Heiji when things actually worked out.

"We're…" Heiji began, turning to Kazuha eagerly.

"Engaged!" she blurted out. I blinked, then couldn't prevent the smile from spreading across my face as I reached forward to congratulate them.

"That's fantastic, you guys! To be honest Heiji, I didn't think you had it in you." I winked at him, but he still rolled his eyes at me.

"…Is that all?" I asked, eager to leave now. This place was giving me shivers for some reason, as if there were a presence there that shouldn't have been.

That presence was me. I shouldn't be there. I was the 3rd (or 5th, whatever) wheel in this situation, and it was glaringly clear to me since the moment I entered the room.

"Ah, isn't this just great? Toyama-chan, I think we could be the best of friends! If you ever need anything at all, just call me! I'd be so glad to help you plan." Hikari had reached forward and patted Kazuha on the shoulder, which I had to admit, made me jealous for some reason. Who was this girl, just moving in on my adopted family like that?

"Thank you, I appreciate it," Kazuha said sweetly in response, but I almost heard it; that little lurch in her voice that suggested the slightest of hostilities.

"I can't believe you really did it, Hattori," Ichiro spoke up, smiling in approval. Heiji beamed.

"They don't tell you how hard it really is…" Heiji said, laughing slightly. Kazuha smacked him on the chest.

"It shouldn't have been _that _hard, Heiji! You love me, don't you?" He blushed slightly.

"W-Well sure, but what if you had said no? That's the only reason it's hard, right?" he asked no one in particular.

"Don't I know it," Ichiro said, causing an awkward silence to ensue. He…wait a minute. He didn't know about this, did he?

"You know what it's like?" I said before I could stop myself. He regarded me nervously, taking a minute to respond. Heiji cleared his throat loudly.

"Y-yeah…in a way…"

"How?" I retorted immediately.

"How?" He asked, confused by the question.

"Yes, how?" He swallowed. I waited.

"I asked your mom if I could propose to you. She beat me up with a broom." Everyone just sat and watched with fear in their eyes.

"Uhhh, we're gonna go now…" Heiji said, pulling Kazuha along with him towards the entryway. "Don't forget, our parents are throwing an engagement party next Saturday night."

And then there were 3, a voice said in my head. Hikari looked absolutely stunned. Her mouth was agape, and she was staring at the floor, trying to compose herself. I, in the meantime, was just trying to breathe.

"You…you _what?_ Why would you _ask her?_" Ichiro's eyes widened at this response, and he held up his hands in defense.

"Hey, I was just trying to be courteous about it! She would have been mad if she just found out we got married out of nowhere, right?" And suddenly it all clicked. I gasped, put a hand to my mouth, and took a step back as I pointed a finger at him in accusation.

"You – you – you -"

"All I did was ask her!"

"You – I – how – she….You _caused _this! If you had just proposed to _me_, then none of us would – we'd still be – everything would be -"

"STOP!" Hikari suddenly shrieked, causing goosebumps to rise on my arms. She was glaring at me now, and her fists were shaking. It would have been funny at any other moment, since she looked like she was trying hard to be determined, but really she just looked flat out scared.

"You were _together?_ You were going to _propose?_" She whirled around to ask Ichiro these questions.

"…For a time, yes. But that doesn't matter now, I swear." My insides burned with this statement. Doesn't matter? Of course I don't matter. When do I matter anymore?

"And you just left out this minor detail…"

"It's not something I like to talk about," he admitted sheepishly, averting his gaze from mine even though I was staring directly at his face.

"When you would talk about her all the time…I always thought that you were in love with her and all that, but I never thought…" Now she turned to me with hurt in her eyes. I kept my stone-cold stare; I didn't care how she felt about this. _She _disrupted _our _relationship, not the other way around.

"I never thought that you actually loved him back." I gave her a look that hopefully got the message across that she was obviously misinformed, and therefore straight up stupid in my eyes.

"…What do you mean? What did you tell her?" These words seemed to stick in my throat, and now it was my turn to feel hurt by her words. From the sound of it, he made it seem like I was just a heartless wretch that never returned his feelings. How horribly untrue that was, indeed.

"I just…we started out as friends, Kokone, okay? She was my only friend in America. We just got to know each other…that's all."

"But you always told me how much she had _hurt _you. And all the _pain _that she caused you. I've been so worried about you, Chiro-kun -" she broke off and smacked into his chest, full out sobbing. He hesitated, but eventually wrapped his arms around her and tried to soothe her while he avoided my eyes.

Well this is just great. Now I'm the official _bad guy_.

"Jesus," I muttered out loud in Korean, because frankly, I couldn't stand it any longer. "Is there _anyone _that doesn't try to accuse me of everything anymore? This is all _bullshit! _You hear me? BULLSHIT." Hikari had looked up in the meantime with wide, slightly pink eyes. She obviously didn't know Korean.

What a fantastic advantage, I thought to myself. But I didn't feel like saying anything more as I stomped out of the house to head back to my mom's so I could drive to the nearby training dojo.

Life. What is it supposed to consist of? Why does everything keep pulling itself out from under me when I least expect it? And more importantly…

Why can't I do anything to prevent it?


	21. Chapter 21: Clash

"Kokone. Hey. Kokone."

"…What," I snapped into my pillow, hugging it closer. All I wanted to do was sleep forever, but apparently this was not an option.

"Someone's on the phone for you." I opened one eye to find Hyo Yeoung hovering over me, his hand lightly on my bare shoulder as he had been shaking me to wake up. I stared at his hand until he removed it, then sat up, reaching out for the phone.

"Hello."

"Hey, Kokone." My breath seemed to slip away.

"…What is it, Chiro," I grumbled lazily.

"We both wanted to apologize for last night – Hikari and I. Things got a little…unmanageable."

"Okay." He computed this simple response for a second.

"And Hikari wants to be friends. She really does. I know this is…difficult, but she's not a bad person, Kone-chan." Despite the situation, I hugged the phone closer at the mention of my nickname in that soft, comforting voice of his.

"Well alright, but does she understand that I'm not either?"

"Of course…wait, what?"

"It sounded like you told her all the bad things about me. And all the horrible things I had done to you. But did you tell her what you did to me? And did you tell her any of my redeeming qualities?"

He didn't answer.

"That's what I thought. Thanks for apologizing, but I think it's best if we just leave each other alone -"

"Kokone."

"What?"

"I told her everything. Not just the bad things, and certainly not any of your secrets. I told her everything. So would you please just accept our apology and get to know her? You'll learn to love her, I just know it." I almost laughed, but then I realized he was completely serious.

"We'll see about that."

"Has Heiji called you yet?"

"Why would he need to call me?"

"Maybe you missed it. I dunno. But he called us earlier and invited us all to a celebratory dinner tonight. Are you going to come? With…Hyo Yeoung?" He seemed to have to struggle to say his name, and I sort of rejoiced in this; at least we were both unhappy in _some _way.

"Hyo Yeoung-ah," I called. He popped his head back into the bedroom curiously.

"Hm?"

"We're invited to dinner tonight. Are you busy?"

"N-No. I'm free as ever." His eyes had instantly lit up when I asked him this. Who knew asking your own husband out on a semi-date could bring such a reaction?

"Yeah, we'll go, I suppose. When and where?"

"Heiji and Kazuha's place, around 7ish."

"Wait…they live together?" Had I really missed that much in all of my attempts to hold myself together?

"Apparently so. You didn't know that?"

"I…I had no clue…I didn't know any of this was…" I sighed. "Never mind. I'll see you tonight. Bye." I hung up the phone and then promptly fell back onto my bed.

I can sleep until 5, then get up and get things ready. Maybe I could even bring a special dish or something. We could show them. Everything was fine.

This was becoming some sort of sick game of my own: who appears to be the happiest. Well we could do this. Hyo Yeoung and I would show them all.

"Why are you staring at the ceiling like that?" I turned my head to see Hyo Yeoung leaning against the door frame, observing me with a raised eyebrow.

"Just thinking. I'm going back to sleep." I rolled over and curled up again, pulling my baggy sweatshirt tight around me.

"Kokone-ah…" He said softly.

"Hm?"

"I'm worried about you. I honestly am." I exhaled slowly.

"You don't need to be. Everything's fine."

"Don't lie to me. You think you're so good at it, but I see through every one of them. I just don't question it because I like to think I can trust you."

"You can. I'm just tired. Leave me alone." I knew he was still standing there, watching me, but I tried to ignore it as I fell back asleep.

He woke me up a few hours later and told me to get ready; he was already dressed and ready to go. I felt a tiny bit guilty, because honestly, he was trying his best and was actually looking forward to taking me somewhere. I, on the other hand, was just focused on surviving by using him to prove that I was fine. We were fine. Everything was.

"So…you didn't tell me what this was for." We were driving there now; I was glaring at the darkness on the passenger side.

"Heiji and Kazuha got engaged," I answered mechanically.

"Oh." He sounded slightly disappointed, and again my conscience flared. I tried my best to ignore it. The rest of the ride was silent.

When we arrived at Heiji's house, there was already a car parked in the driveway. Hopefully they weren't waiting for us, but I still took my time getting out of the car regardless.

"Hey, there they are!" We were greeted by a series of hellos and welcomes. The house smelled of something I couldn't quite put my finger on…I didn't eat cooked food much anymore. Hyo Yeoung and I smiled our candid smiles, even bowed once or twice. And then…we watched. Neither of us said a word as we listened to the conversations around us. Hikari was talking to Kazuha, Heiji was talking to Ichiro. It was all bustling and happy.

But it was sort of fake. I could tell they were posing in their joy that everyone was there…hopefully it was just because of that intruder. My eyes seemed to flare as I watched her help Kazuha prepare the final parts of our meal for the evening.

This was going to be a long night. I was increasingly able to support this theory when Kazuha went upstairs for something and Ichiro, Heiji and Hyo Yeoung headed into the living room to sit down. Ichiro intentionally left me with Hikari so that we could do that whole "get to know you" thing, but I planned to just sit there and stare at nothing.

That is, until she spoke.

"I'm glad you accept my apology, Kokone-chan. I hope we can be friends." she smiled up at me as she stirred a pot of steamed vegetables.

"Sure."

"Uhm…that being said, can I ask you to do something for me?"

"Huh?" I expected her to ask me to help her chop up the vegetables or something, but what came out of her mouth next sounded like complete jibberish…except it wasn't.

"I'd feel a lot better if you'd stay away from Chiro-kun." I stared at her as if she had said nothing in the first place. She glanced up and blushed out of nervousness as she focused on her veggies.

"…That wasn't a question," I finally managed.

"Uhmm.." she bit her lip. "Could you stay away from Chiro-kun? Please?" She added this as an after effect, and I nearly collapsed from lack of oxygen.

"I will do no such thing," I said matter-of-factly. Who did this girl think she was? It didn't matter that I wasn't even hardly associated with Ichiro anymore, I wasn't about to let this girl think she would win.

I always win.

"Wh-what do you mean?" She asked, hysteria making its way into her high voice. She looked at me worriedly now, not sure what to do next.

"I'm not going to stay away from Ichiro. If you can't trust him _or _me for that matter, then that's your problem, not mine." I took a sip of my water casually, waiting to see what she would do next.

"But you and Ichiro have a history! In fact, I think he still loves you believe it or not."

"It doesn't matter if he does. He's with you, not me. I'm actually pretty insulted by your assumption that I would cheat on my husband." Our voices were escalating ever so slightly as the conversation went.

"But it _does _matter! Tell me, how would you feel if your husband was focused on a completely different girl all the time!" I couldn't contain myself; I started laughing. She looked at me like I was the most bizarre creature she had ever encountered, then stuck her hands on her tiny little hips and flushed out of embarrassment.

"Quit laughing at me!"

"Ohhh man," I said once I calmed myself down. "You're funny."

"How is that funny! Stay. Away. From my. BOYFRIEND!" Her voice shook; she was scared of me, it was obvious. I sneered at her evilly – this could be fun.

"No." Her eyes opened wide with rage.

"You don't have any claim to him anymore! Just back off!"

"And if I don't?" She sputtered for a moment, but was unable to come up with a coherent answer. "That's what I thought," I said victoriously as I started to leave the room.

"If you so much as approach him, I'll – I'll – I'll!" And then I felt it. Something warm and sort of soggy penetrated my hair and hit the back of my neck. I froze and reached back slowly, pulling whatever it was out to see for myself.

Broccoli.

"Stay away from him you – you _bakachon!_" That did it. It was _so _on.

I whirled around and in two strides was right in front of her. Though I was maybe 2 inches shorter, she seemed remarkably small to me. I reached forward and gripped her shoulders, hard, and shoved her down and into the large pot of steaming hot vegetables.

Needless to say, she screamed. And flailed about. It would have been funny if I wasn't so angry. Nobody calls me bakachon, I thought. Idiot-korean my ass. I could beat her any day.

"LET GO OF ME!" She demanded. "CHIRO-KUUUN!" Just then though, she reached up and grabbed my hair, yanking on it hard so she could get me to release my grip.

"AISH, CUT IT OUT!" I yelled harshly, and then I was tackling her to the floor. She continued to pull and yank on my thick hair even though I was sitting on her back, twisting her arm behind it just enough so it would only hurt and not cause any further problems.

"TAKE IT BACK. TAKE IT BACK RIGHT NOW," I said, twisting her arm even more so she would have to eventually give in.

"DON'T GO NEAR MY BOYFRIEND."

"What the – Kokone!" Someone said from the side. Suddenly everyone was into action, trying to pull us off of each other and to opposite sides of the room.

"DON'T CALL ME BAKACHON YOU LITTLE -" I struggled to pull away from whoever was holding onto me. Fury was making my vision turn red. Ichiro was holding Hikari back, speaking to her in a low voice, evidently trying to calm her down.

"Hey, hey! Calm down now, what's going on here!" Heiji asked in frustration. It was then that I realized he was holding onto me.

"She called me an idiot Korean and I very nearly KICKED HER ASS," I hollered, lurching forward to grab something, anything of hers, so that I actually could. Kick her ass, that is.

"Stop it! Stop it right now! Where's your husband?" He asked no one in particular. Just then, Kazuha and Hyo Yeoung came into the room, both of them with blank, confused, and even scared expressions.

"Hey! Come get ahold of your wife!" He commanded. Hyo Yeoung blinked once, then obeyed. I easily shook out of his grip, but didn't go for Hikari again.

"You're a pathetic girl. Just…pathetic. And if you call me bakachon _ever _again…" I reached out to grab my bag and my car keys, smacking them into Hyo Yeoung's hand. "I won't show mercy." She shivered, and Ichiro looked angry, but didn't do or say anything. I pulled on Hyo Yeoung's arm, dragging him along with me so that we could leave without another word.

The whole ride home was silent. I thought Hyo Yeoung would at least say _something,_ but he was pale and nervous for some reason. I had no idea what it could have been that was bothering him so much – was he really worried that I might attack him as well?

When we got back home, and it was_ still_ silent, I couldn't take it anymore. The silence was so unbearably loud.

"Are you mad at me?" His head snapped up in surprise, and he began to shake his head furiously as he responded.

"N-No! Of course not. Why should I be? Ha..ha…" He laughed shakily, then turned away and stared at the couch. Weird. Definitely weird.

"Then…what's wrong with you?"

"Me? Oh, no, nothing. Nothing at all." He mumbled this before he went into the bathroom. A few minutes later, I heard the water begin to run. I frowned, but shook it off as I went to get ready for bed.

Little did I know that my life was about to take another turn for the worse.


	22. Chapter 22: Snap

When I woke up the next morning – though it was 4 AM – I felt glaringly alone. I stared at the ceiling for a good 20 minutes, listening to Hyo Yeoung's steady breathing beside me. I turned to face him, and found that he was a respectful distance away, as always, and that he was also facing me, though his eyes were closed. He didn't seem to be at peace though, because every once and a while he would grimace, shake his head and move around, like he was having trouble deciding something in a certain dream.

It was funny, I thought. We argued constantly about how he wanted kids and I didn't, and about how we should have been able to do _it _by now, since we had been married for 6 months. Though I had admitted we could try at some point that _one_ time, we never did. He pushed the issue, but never physically. A pang of guilt made my heart jump into my throat; he wasn't _that _bad of a guy. Things honestly could have been worse…right?

And then I recalled the previous night. The hair pulling. The arm twisting. The tackling. The yelling.

…Woops.

But hey, that girl had deserved to get pummeled, right? And I hadn't even done any damage yet, so there was no harm done.

…Except I could have quite possibly ruined any chance of even being friends with Ichiro again, but I told myself that it wasn't really going in the right direction anyway, so it was fine.

Wasn't it?

Just then, Hyo Yeoung stirred.

"Mmmphgrph…" I watched him out of the corner of my eye. It was pretty dark, so he didn't realize I was awake as well as he rubbed his eyes and sat up, turning towards me.

He nearly fell off the bed when our eyes met.

"Gah! What are you doing up!"

"I dunno. I woke up. What's the matter with you?" He shook his head violently as if to rid of evil thoughts.

"N-Nothing. Oh, man. I need some water." He shifted off of the bed and slumped out of the room.

Ohhh-kay, I thought. I _may _have married a lunatic. I got up and followed him in the kitchen, where he was filling a glass of water, his back towards me. He was muttering to himself, something along the lines of "Should I? No…but what if…?"

"Hyo Yeoung-ah," I said, jerking him out of whatever mindset he was in. He nearly dropped his water glass, sloshing water all over himself in the process.

"Jesus," I said, grabbing a towel from the counter. "What's going on with you?"

"N-Nothing! I just…I need to think. I'll be back later."

And he left. In his pajamas. At 4 in the morning. Without shoes.

…Definitely married a lunatic.

* * *

><p>I stared at the TV endlessly, not really watching as I thought of what could be bothering Hyo Yeoung so much. Was the whole fight with Hikari something that completely steered him in the wrong direction about me? What if he thought I was bound to crack at any time and kill him or something?<p>

Nah, he wasn't that crazy. He had a sane mind. At least, that's what I had assumed _before _today…

He didn't come home until 1 in the afternoon, and when he did, he looked like a hot mess.

Well, not hot exactly. Just like he usually did, only his hair was all over the place and his clothes were tattered and stained.

"What the…Hyo Yeoung-ah, is everything alright? You've been acting so weird lately…Is that blood?" I asked, alarmed at the dark stain on his shirt. He shook his head hurriedly, holding up his palms in defense.

"No, no, it's just a stain…not really sure where it came from…" He rubbed his neck and sighed as he took a seat on the couch. He knelt forward and put his head between his knees.

"Okay…spill it. Something's the matter with you." He didn't respond for a moment, but then he eventually lifted his head up with great effort, and looked me in the eyes. This seemed to pain him though, as he grimaced and looked away.

"I can't even…oh, God. I don't…" He exhaled loudly, rubbing his hands over his face.

"…You're starting to freak me out. Just tell me." I was standing up only a few feet away, but somehow seemed to be hovering over him.

"I don't want you to be stressed though. You need to take it easy, remember? Ugh, but if I don't…then…"

"Don't. Don't what? Hyo Yeoung, if you don't tell me that will only stress me out even more. Your plan is backfiring as we speak." He bit his lip, then closed his eyes as he spoke quietly.

"Something happened last night." Shit, I thought. I _knew _it. I had officially screwed up this relationship…if you could call it that.

"Oh, jeez. I'm sorry about that, I really am. I just lost it. It shouldn't happen again, alright? Don't even worry about something as silly as that. Hikari and I just have a lot of…differences. That's all."

"No, it's not – I don't care about that," he said harshly, though it seemed like he was talking to himself.

"Then what?" I had no idea what his answer was going to be, not a clue, but I certainly didn't expect the next statement that fell out of his mouth and into the open air, creating a cloud of suspense and uncertainty.

"I kissed Kazuha."

At first I thought I hadn't heard him right. What about Kazuha? Kiss? These seemed to be foreign words to me, so I asked.

"What…what do you mean?" He glanced up at me nervously, but didn't seem to be able to answer my question. He waited for this to sink in, watching me carefully.

"You…you're…wait, _what?_" It was finally starting to click. That look on Kazuha's face when they entered the room, separate from everybody else and yet together. She looked honest-to-God frightened, like she had just seen a ghost.

"Oh my God," I mumbled. "Oh. My _God._"

"Okay, before you get mad, Kazuha didn't have anything to do with it, alright? It just sort of happened, I didn't plan it, and I regretted it immediately. It won't ever happen again, I -"

"You _kissed _her?" I suppose he expected me to be boiling with rage, but I honestly had no idea how to react. I asked him this quietly, just above a whisper, with my hands clenched at my sides. His expression softened, and he looked away in shame.

"…Yeah. Kokone-ah, I am _so sorry. _So sorry…" He started to mutter various apologies under his breath.

I felt cheated. He had broken the rules. He had screwed this up, not me. So why did I feel so miserable about it?

Without another word I left the apartment, my car keys in hand. I drove hurriedly, basically speeding the entire way to the police station. When I busted through the main doors on the floor that Heiji worked on, I demanded that someone tell me where he was. Everyone regarded me as a psychopath, but I was losing control of any logical part of my brain that normally kept me grounded. There was no stopping me now.

"Uh…he's on a case at the moment. May I ask who you are? Ma'am?" A kind yet frightened female officer approached me carefully, as if I were some kind of rabid animal.

"Kokawa Kokone, forensics. Give me the address." Her eyes widened, but she obeyed, handing me a slip of paper with the address written there shakily.

When I arrived at this destination, there were two police cars as well as two other normal cars parked out front of this rather large house. As I approached the door, I overheard Heiji's loud voice:

"…And the culprit is -"

"Heiji, I need to talk to you. Right. Now," I said sternly, startling everyone, including him, as I nearly broke the door down to get inside. There were three men lined up on the other side of the room, a few police officers scattered about, and another forensics team there that I knew from my floor at work. Once everyone realized it was me, Heiji looked slightly annoyed.

"Can't this wait until later? I'm just about to -"

"Oh, no you're not," A deep, throaty voice said from across the room. It was the large, burly man on the left, and he had an evil sneer on his face that automatically caused the hair on my arms to stand up. Before anyone had time to react, he pulled out a pistol, and had it aimed straight for me and Heiji.

"Damn…" Heiji muttered, glancing around to see what he could do. The other police officers had their hands on their belts, presumably where they kept their guns, but they probably figured that any sudden movements would cause even more trouble.

"Were you about to guess me, Great Detective?" The man chuckled in a sinister way that reminded me of Gin, so long ago. I shivered and thought sickly to myself: I have been in this situation way too many times. "You were right, of course. The culprit still had the weapon concealed."

"I don't _guess._ I know," Heiji countered unnecessarily. "Now drop the weapon and come quietly." The man did the exact opposite of what he said and cocked it.

"Sorry, Mr. Detective. No can do."

"You'll never get away with anything, especially if you kill all of us," I spoke up, sounding a lot more confident than I actually felt. His eye twitched when he looked at me, and now he was aiming straight for my face. Déjà vu, I thought. What a horrible feeling, considering what had happened the last time a gun had been aimed at me.

"You're particularly out of place, ne? Shall I kill you first, then the rest? Nobody needs a screw-up. You'll ruin my perfect plans."

_Nobody needs a screw-up. Nobody needs a screw-up._

My life, well, the worst parts of it anyway, seemed to flash before my eyes. Actually, it was more like one of those cause and effect timelines, except there were way more causes than there should have been. I had messed up so many times.

Ichiro had almost died because of me. My mother continued to resent me. I slept with Ichiro, basically toyed with him, and then married Hyo Yeoung. I fought with everyone, I had caused Ichiro to leave. He left because of me. He had been in pain because of me. He had gotten over me and moved onto another girl that was the pure opposite of me. Hyo Yeoung didn't remain loyal to me the way he should have. He had even resorted to kissing Kazuha.

All because I had inevitably failed. It seemed as if everything I fought for, everything I tried so hard to maintain – it was all pointless. My life itself was pointless. Why did I ever bother? I should have known that everything would fail because of me, even if my intentions were to succeed.

Before I knew what was happening, I was across the room in a flash, and had somehow ended up with that man's gun in my hand with which I aimed down at him as he lay on the floor, wincing in pain. Had I brought him to the ground? How had I done it so fast, and without even knowing?

These thoughts didn't seem to register though, as I was breathing heavily and almost whimpering, trying to find some sort of remaining piece of logic or really _anything _that could save me from this situation. Everything seemed to press on my mind at once, as if my skull was caving in without me being able to stop it.

The man was shaking now, holding up his hands in surrender. He was saying something frantically, but I couldn't hear him; my vision was turning red. My hands were shaking as I continued to aim the gun at his head, unable to move otherwise.

I had snapped. There was no sound judgment in my head anymore. Something wet slid down my face as I continued to rasp and struggle to control my actions.

Nobody tells you what to expect in a complicated situation such as this. How could anyone really know until they've experienced it? I never knew that I could ever have the capability to kill someone until that very moment. I also realized that this meant anyone could, they just had to have the motivation, which was why no one was ever ruled out of the list of suspects unless they could be proven with cold hard facts.

Anybody could do it. And I almost did. It was quite possibly the scariest moment of my life, as if overshadowed staring one of these weapons in the face easily, without a doubt.

My vision was blurry, but it cleared enough that I could see what was in front of me, and it definitely wasn't that guy anymore. There was nothing there, just the bare floor, where the man used to be. I became more alert with this realization, and was able to hear again, the frantic voices around me rising as my ears clicked into gear, making the world around me seem like a radio being turned up slowly but surely.

"Kokone. Kokone, can you hear me? Kokone, I need you to drop. The gun. Okay? You hear me now? Kokone, it's me, Heiji." I continued to stare at the floor. Heiji? I heard other voices fluttering around me, not able to place them.

"She almost pulled that trigger," someone said.

"She could still pull it! This girl's a nutcase, somebody had better get that gun out of her hands before she hurts _herself._"

"Hush! She's not deaf, you know!" Heiji scolded them harshly from off to the side. It seemed like I was in my own personal bubble; no one was touching me, or even daring to approach me for that matter.

"Kokone," he tried again. "I'm going to call someone okay? Don't do anything stupid. Can you hear me? Kokone, _please _put the gun down," he pleaded helplessly. A voice in my head told me that this was further proof that I was a menace to society, and that I shouldn't be here.

"Should we try to take it from her?" a voice asked nervously. I felt something touch my arm, and before I could process what it was I whirled around and aimed at whatever was attempting to break me down even more than I already had been.

"_Don't touch me!_" I shrieked in Korean, startling even myself. The male officer that had approached me almost fell backwards in surprise. A flurry of conversation started up again.

"Better leave her be."

"Is someone coming for her?"

"Shouldn't we get back up?"

"EVERYBODY, SHUT. UP." Heiji hollered above everyone else. The room was quiet as I continued to point the pistol straight at the poor officer in front of me. He didn't dare to move, and the others around him looked like they had no idea what to do next; what_ I _would do next. I finally identified the wet substance on my face as tears, and my vision blurred again as I continued to cough and sputter, whining softly the entire time.

What was happening to me?


	23. Chapter 23: Do You Still Love Her?

_Ogawa Ichiro's POV:_

I was exhausted. Ultimately, truly, unmistakably exhausted.

And the fact that my phone was ringing off the hook was not helping me confront this problem.

"Uuuuuughhhh," I groaned, rolling over as I tried to ignore it. I had been on call the night before, and had literally just gotten home at 7 in the morning after staying up all freaking night long with that horrible bus accident on the highway…

"Chiro-kuuuun?" Hikari cooed sweetly from the doorway. "Are you sure you don't want me to answer it? It could be important…"

"…Depends. Who keeps calling?" I asked groggily, still turned away from her. She came over to my side of the bed and knelt over me before answering, her clear brown eyes penetrating my soul.

"I think it's Hattori-kun."

"Every time?"

"Every time." Well that's strange, I thought. Maybe he wanted to talk about what had happened last night?

After Kokone and her husband – cringe – left Heiji and Kazuha's house, nobody spoke of what happened. We all went back to the awkward way we had been interacting before, as if Kokone hadn't even showed up.

When I walked into that kitchen, I had no idea what I would find. What I _did_ though, I have to admit it was…intriguing.

Okay, so my first thought was that Kokone was unbelievably hot as her eyes seemed to burn with fire and passion from deep within her. But then basic reasoning kicked in and I realized she was beating the crap out of my girlfriend.

Damn. My girlfriend. She was still watching me now, with that expectant, adorable look on her face. Don't get me wrong though, it wasn't that _I_ thought she was adorable. She just was. It was virtually impossible to describe her as anything but cute. And that wasn't necessarily why I was dating her, but I figured that factor couldn't hurt, right?

Really, I felt bad for the girl. She had no idea that I wasn't whole hog into this relationship. Honestly, I had no idea why I had taken her back with me to _live in my house._ It was like I was awakened from a spell as soon as I stepped off the plane at Osaka International, and _Jesus_ it was disorienting. Why had I done what I did? Such a confusing question, and there wasn't even an answer to explain what I was asking in the first place.

"So would you like me to answer it?" She asked quietly, poking my nose lightly with her finger tip. Woah, had she read my mind or something? Then I remembered what we had been talking about in the first place. I smiled automatically, like I was trained to respond this way.

"I suppose."

"Okay then, problem solved. Go to sleep now." She smiled brightly and leaned in to kiss me softly on the cheek. I hardly noticed, as I was already half asleep. She giggled, and then left. It was only minutes later that she came back.

"I'm sorry, Chiro-kun, but Hattori says this can't wait? He seems pretty urgent." I moaned and reluctantly sat up, reaching out to receive the phone. She waited nervously by the door, watching me as I listened.

"What is it, Hattori?" I grumbled.

"You _need _to get down here. Now." Hikari had been right, his tone was actually pretty alarming.

"Is everything alright?" I asked, already getting myself out of bed.

"Yes, everything is just peachy, which is why I've decided it would be nice to drag you out here to see how _enjoyable _my job is."

"Cut the sarcasm, what's going on?"

"Kokone," he breathed. "is falling apart."

"…How do you mean?"

"I mean," he took a moment before he answered, as if he were checking in on something just to make sure his next statement would be correct. "she's holding a gun, shaking and crying. This is unusual for her, right?" He clarified.

"Wait, a gun? Why the hell does she have a gun? And what is she doing working today anyway, we told her to take it easy -"

"She came down to evidently tell me something, the culprit still had the weapon, I dunno what happened exactly to be honest, but she ended up with the gun, and now…it's like she can't even hear me, Ichiro-san. Something is _really _screwed up in that head of hers."

Screwed up? You're damn right it's screwed up.

I didn't say this of course, but I came pretty close. Instead, I sighed and continued.

"Where are you?"

When I arrived, I hesitated before getting out of my car. What if she was completely fine, and just being her normal, aggressive self? Not everyone was aware of that side of her all the time, so that could be possible.

Except Heiji _was _the one that had called, and if anyone knew her close to as well as I did, it would have to be him…

Eventually, I gathered the courage to walk through that front door, where various policemen stood around, completely frozen in anticipation. Their eyes all flashed to me when I entered, but none of them moved.

"Great, you're here," Heiji said with relief, grabbing me by the shoulders from behind and shoving me forward. That's when I saw her for the first time.

She was shaking, alright. Her gun was aimed at nothing now, but I assumed that something had happened to where the police felt too threatened to make any other moves. She was staring straight in front of her, as if into space, her eyes wide and frightened like she was seeing something ten times scarier than anything she had seen before. Her cheeks were streaked with tears, and her finger seemed to be glued to the trigger.

Yeah, I guess you could say this was an emergency.

"Woah," I exhaled, not sure what to do. "How long has she been like this?"

"…Pretty close to an hour now. We thought she'd snap out of it eventually, but…no such luck. She almost shot our culprit, then she almost shot one of our officers…we're not really sure what to do at this point."

I didn't want to say that I wasn't sure what I could do either, but decided this would be best kept to myself. I slowly approached her, trying to get her attention.

"Kokone." Nothing. "Kokone? Can you hear me, Kone-chan?" That seemed to bring some attention to reality back into her eyes; she flinched slightly at the sound of her nickname.

"Kone-chan," I said soothingly. "What happened to you?" I reached forward and touched her arm, and she swung around and aimed the gun straight for me.

"I told you not to touch me," she whispered in Korean. "Why can't anyone listen? Stop fighting. Stop. Stop fighting…" She squeezed her eyes shut, still holding the gun at my chest. Uh oh, I thought. Pretty sure I can't take another bullet to the heart.

"Shhhh, you're alright. Hm? You wouldn't shoot me, ne Kone-chan?" I felt bad since I was basically treating her like a 5 year old, but how else do you speak to someone holding a gun to your face? For one terrifying moment, I almost thought she would, but then she inhaled sharply and her eyes snapped open. In the same instant, she dropped the gun like it had scalded her hand, and held both of her hands up, like being anywhere near the thing could cause a massacre.

"That's right. You wouldn't. You'll be alright, we just need to get you out of here -" It was at that moment that she slipped to the ground, landing on her knees. She looked so confused, so out of place, I had to wonder what in the world could have possibly been going on in her mind. Something had happened, something bad, bad enough to cause her to nearly lose all control of anything that kept her sane.

Heiji stooped over and grabbed the gun, careful not to alert Kokone with any sudden movement. Immediately, the police force was in motion again, gathering reports and trying to help in any way they could. I waved them away, trying to get Kokone to listen to me.

"Are you alright?"

"I almost killed someone," she muttered.

"But you didn't," I assured her.

"I could have killed someone."

"Kone-chan, you didn't. It's over. Let's get you home now, okay?" I knelt over and tried to help her up, but she refused to budge.

"I could have – I almost – I – I – I'm such a -"

My heart nearly shattered. Her face crumpled, and she covered it with both of her hands as she seemed to completely give in to whatever was screwing with her head. She started to sob terrible, heartbroken sobs, and for maybe the millionth time in the past minute, I wondered what she could have been thinking, or what had happened to begin with.

"Uhh…Ichiro-san, I think she's -"

"She's fine," I stammered, though I was pretty sure she wasn't. "I'll take her home." Kokone whimpered as she continued to cry, though she was conscious enough of her actions to hide her face from everyone as she did so.

"Come here. We'll get you home." I knelt down all the way and approached her from the side, scooping her up under her knees and behind her back. She didn't halt her sobbing or tell me to put her down, just simply went along for the ride.

I ignored everyone's fearful stares as we exited the house and made our way towards my car. After placing her as gingerly as I could in the back seat, I walked around and sat myself in front of the wheel, and then took a deep breath so I could prepare myself to look back.

She was still crying miserably, though now she would moan painfully at certain intervals and bang her fists against the leather of the seat. There didn't seem to be anything physically wrong with her, but I still debated over whether or not I should take her to the hospital.

I pulled out my phone and dialed Hikari's number, prepared to lie. When she asked me what had been so important, I had to say it had everything to do with Heiji's murder case. Kokone's name didn't even make it into the conversation.

"Chiro-kun?" She answered wistfully.

"Hey. I need you to go uh…do something for me…"

"Anything. What do you need?"

"Can you hang out with Hyo Yeoung today? Kokone is out uh…doing something, and he needs company." Anything to get her out of the house, just _please _get _out _of my house.

I bit my lip, waiting for this lie to be registered. Somehow though, I was successful.

"…Okay. Where does he live?" She asked suspiciously, but for all I knew she had trusted me too much to believe I would lie to her. That kind of stung.

I told her where to go, then started the car. When I glanced up, Heiji was standing at the door step, watching us carefully. Someone came up behind him with a clipboard and some papers, which completely diverted his attention.

It was almost unbearable to have to listen to her collapsing in on herself in the back seat of my own car. What had happened? Had that worthless jerk done something unforgivable? My grip tightened on the steering wheel. I had promised her that I would kick his ass if he ever did anything to hurt her.

…But what? What could he have done? I liked to pretend he was this evil monster that had stolen her away from me, but as well as I could judge, he seemed like a decent person. They seemed to argue a lot, but Kokone had always been argumentative…

Even though I wasn't saying it out loud, I had to admit to myself that he wasn't that _bad_. Things could have ended up way worse. He could have been abusive, verbally or physically. He could have been countless terrible things.

But he wasn't. Unfortunately enough for me.

When we got home, I carried her into my house and stood there in the entryway, deciding what exactly I was going to do. I hadn't really thought that far ahead…

My mind flashed back to that night so long ago, when Kokone had very nearly broken down my door in her attempts to save me – or herself – from a premonition she got from a terrible dream. I wondered if she still had those every once and a while; I know I certainly did.

I settled on sitting with her in the chair I often sat in when I wanted to read or think for a good, long while. It was comfortable, large – for a chair – and rather welcoming in any situation.

"Shhhh," I whispered when we were settled into the chair. She continued to sob and groan, and every once and a while she would try to speak, but that didn't seem to be an option at the moment. Her words came out as strangled groans.

"Kone-chan, everything's alright, everything's fine." This seemed to upset her even more; what the hell was I supposed to do now? I rubbed her back gently and set my chin on top of her head, hugging her closer. How long had it been since we had had this type of closeness?

Instead of trying to speak anymore, I settled with rocking her back and forth gently, and eventually she was reduced to hiccupping and sniffling. Had it been longer than 3 hours already? I asked myself, looking at the clock hanging above the couch.

"Fighting. So much – fighting," she whispered a few times. I knew better than to respond; she wouldn't have been able to explain herself in this state.

Out of nowhere, the door handle started to jiggle – someone was unlocking it. I started to panic, because I already knew who it would be.

"Chiro-kun?" Hikari called once she opened the door. Judo got up from his solemn position on the rug a few feet away to greet her. "Are you – Oh. What -" Her voice was a little unsteady once she realized what I was doing.

"Is Hyo Yeoung at home?" I asked calmly. Her eyes were fixed on Kokone, and she didn't answer. "Hikari-chan?" Her eyes flashed back up to mine.

"Oh, uh – he's out in the driveway…I think…" She was still staring, unblinking as she opened the door again and finally turned to call for him. A few moments later, he was cautiously entering my house.

"…Why is she here? Is this where she's been all day?" He asked worriedly. "Kokone-ah? What's wrong with her?" He was hovering over her now, and if my hands hadn't been busy holding her I probably would have punched him.

"She's…upset," I said through gritted teeth. His expression was pained and guilty.

"What did you do to her?" I seethed.

"Nothing," Kokone said quietly, but solidly enough that it surprised everyone. "He did nothing. Take me home." She shifted and shook my hands away, sliding off of my lap and onto the floor. She had to steady herself with Hyo Yeoung's arm, and continued to hold onto him as she led him out of the room.

Once they drove away, I sighed and got up to get something to eat. Hikari stopped me by standing right in front of the kitchen entrance.

"So she came to you? That's the something she had to do today?" She should have been mad, but she really only seemed to be…disappointed.

"Well…not exactly -"

"Do you still love her?"

Crap. Didn't see that one coming.


	24. Chapter 24: Fine, Fine, Fine

_Kokawa Kokone's POV:_

The phone was ringing. It was ringing. Ringing.

Someone picked it up. Someone had answered. Whoever had was talking quietly, as if they were trying to refrain from disturbing the silence that had previously reigned.

It was dark. I felt dark. My life was an abyss.

The bedroom door creaked open, and I watched as a stretch of light expanded along the wall that I was facing. Someone stepped forward and created a shadow in this tiny rectangle of light. I waited in sluggish anticipation for something else to happen, but then the figure disappeared and the door closed. The quiet voice picked up once again, and I closed my eyes, since it was too dark to find anything to look at anyway.

How long had I been here? In this state? Seemingly glued together in a ball in the middle of my bed? I supposed it didn't really matter, I was just wondering.

My mind was reduced to comprehension of only one distinct subject at a time. This may have made me think a lot slower, but I also thought a lot deeper, and that didn't help my situation at all.

I almost killed someone. Even worse – I almost killed Ichiro. My finger had come so close to pulling that trigger that I felt like I was watching from above, unable to halt what I was about to do.

I mean, thankfully I _didn't _of course, but it wasn't like I was any better off, was I? I could be in jail. Or a mental institution. But I already felt like I was there, as I had confined myself to this one area, this one space that was undeniably mine.

The door opened again, but this time I heard the pad of bare feet coming closer as whoever it was walked around the bed to face me. It was Hyo Yeoung. But why did that surprise me? It wasn't like I expected Ichiro or anything to walk in, but it seemed completely arbitrary that Hyo Yeoung was now eye level with me, examining my face. I waited for him to say something, but he just stood there.

"…Drink this," he finally said, holding up a glass of water. I glared at the foreign object, unmoving. It wasn't that I didn't want to, I just didn't have it in me.

"Come on. Sit up. You need water." Without my protest, he helped me sit up, and held out the glass. When I didn't reach for it, he grabbed my limp hand and made me hold it up, placing the glass surely onto my palm, then guided it to my lips. I swallowed mechanically a few times, then realized there was nothing left.

"See? I'll get you some more, alright? You want something to eat? I think we still have kimchi left -" He was getting up now, but I placed my hand on his shoulder, keeping him down – the first voluntary movement since I had gotten home after that wretched, horrible day. He waited patiently for me to speak, but I didn't know what to say for a while.

"Hyo Yeoung-ah," I whispered hoarsely.

"…Yes?"

"I'm sorry." He started shaking his head even before I got the words out.

"Don't say that. You shouldn't be apologizing."

"I forgive you. And nothing was your fault. There's a whole lot more going on. It all happened at once, and I…"

"…What else? What can I do?" He reached up and touched my face lightly, concern flooding his eyes.

Had something happened to our relationship in the past…however long I had been laying here? For some reason, I didn't have it in me to protest.

"Nothing. My life has always been this way. It's just…little things. It's okay."

"You know, a lot of people have been calling for you. Especially Ichiro."

"Why does that matter?"

"I'm just saying…we're all so worried, Kokone-ah. You're really worrying me. It's been 3 days."

"…You're kidding," I said dully, though I could definitely believe it.

"I'm not. You need to eat something now. Anything in particular you want?"

"I don't care."

"I'll be right back." He patted my knee and stood up to go.

Three days, I thought. That's a long time to think. I'm sure I was asleep for a great deal of that time, but still.

My stomach growled angrily at me. Woops, sorry, I wanted to tell it.

Hyo Yeoung came back with water, a thick chunk of bread and a rather large pear. I ate painstakingly slow while he sat nearby, not really watching me the entire time, but still observing subtly.

"Did my boss call, by any chance?" I asked around a mouthful of juicy pear.

"Uhh…not really…"

"What does that mean?" My voice sounded boring and cold, even to me, but I was powerless to change it.

"It means…Heiji did. Sometimes about work, most of the time not. You can talk to him at the party on Saturday. That is, of course, if you feel like going?"

"I'll go. I wouldn't miss it. Heiji and Kazuha…wow. I've missed a lot."

"You've been busy."

"I suppose."

"Alright, drink this last glass and then get some rest." He pushed the glass of water closer to the edge of the side table as he stood up to go.

"Hyo Yeoung-ah,"

"Hm?" He turned just as he was about to step out.

"Did anyone tell you what happened?"

"…Yeah. I got the basic gist of it. Hey, don't worry about it, okay? Just get some rest. And make sure you drink your water." I nodded once, and then he was gone. I was alone, but it seemed lighter in the room than it had been before. I quickly gulped down my water and promptly fell back onto the mattress.

The next time I woke up, I fought with my body over whether or not I should get up. Though I couldn't identify which side had won, I eventually got up and stretched for a good ten seconds. Stiff, I thought. Very stiff. I flexed my muscles individually and then stretched once again.

Was it day or night? There weren't any windows, and for some reason there wasn't a clock on my nightstand like there had been at a certain point. When had that disappeared?

I opened the bedroom door just enough to peak out – Hyo Yeoung was asleep on the sofa, one arm dangling off the side. I hadn't even thought about where he was sleeping since I had been hogging the bed all to myself. The TV was flickering across his face, and the apartment was dark. I quietly slipped out of the bedroom to get a better look at the clock that hung next to the kitchen entrance.

So it was day time. Around 2 in the afternoon?

After drinking about…three glasses of water, I went into the living room and turned off the TV. The click must have startled him, as he jolted awake. I put a hand on his shoulder to settle him down.

"Calm down. I don't like high electricity bills." I smiled slightly, though it didn't feel right on my face.

"Hey. You're up…You're _up_."

"Yeah. I suppose I am. What day is it?"

"Friday. I think."

"…Wow. Okay, I'm going to shower." He nodded and laid back down. I felt bad; this guy had probably been up for as long as I had been asleep.

When I got out of the shower, the phone was ringing, and my apartment was empty. Maybe he had gone out to buy groceries or something. In any case, I strolled over to the telephone in the kitchen and picked it up. I still felt tired, and God knows the last thing I needed was sleep, but what do you do when you're mentally exhausted? I suppose sleep is supposed to help with that, but it didn't seem to do much in terms of how fast I thought or wanted to think, for that matter.

"Hello?" I croaked. I cleared my throat and waited.

"Kokone? You're awake?" It was Ichiro. Why was it him? I didn't need this right now.

"I certainly hope so," I said tonelessly. He paused and let this answer sink in.

"So…how are you? How's…are you feeling well?"

"Fine. Everything's fine. Just like you said it would be." He may not have realized this, but I had meant for this statement to come out bitterly. He had lied to me. Twice. He exhaled slowly.

"Okay. I'm glad. It seemed like you were a little…out of sorts."

"Yeah. Things kind of got out of hand, I guess."

"Yeah." It was silent for a long moment, but he didn't seem like he had anything else to say.

"I'll see you tomorrow then. At the…party thing. I have to go now."

"Right. Right, sure. Okay. See you then." I hung up, and literally a second after I replaced the phone it started to ring again. God, what now? I thought.

"Hello?" I asked, a little bit of a frustrated inflection in my voice.

"Eonnie? Is that you?" I breathed a sigh of relief, though I had no idea why I felt this way.

"Kazuko."

"I was so worried! I haven't seen you in a whole week, and you never called, so whenever I called you your husband answered, and he kept saying you were sleeping and that you were dealing with crap and -" She was rambling and spitting everything out so fast that I almost couldn't understand her.

"Hey, hey settle down. I'm fine. I just had a little bit of a pitfall there for a little while. Is there something you needed?"

"…Eonnie, you sound sick." Leave it to her to state the unnecessary.

"Yeah, I know. I'm still a little sick. You don't need to worry about it though, alright? Do you need a ride home from school or something?"

"No, I'm already home. What are you sick with?"

"Ah – just the flu. It's been making me really fatigued and all that," I quickly lied. I didn't need to trouble her with all these adult problems. She was still in her own little world of innocence and purity, where the worst daily problems consist of finishing the latest homework assignment.

Okay, so I knew she dealt with more than that, but still. I wished I could go back to that time, even if that was when I was still learning to cope with my father's death.

"Oh…It must have been pretty bad then, huh?" It was easier to lie to her when we weren't face to face. I just hoped she believed me and wouldn't question it later.

"Yeah…yeah, it was pretty bad. So you don't need anything else then?"

"No, I'm fine. I was just wanting to talk to you. Go get some rest then, Eonnie. I don't want you to be sick forever…" Her tone nearly shattered my ability to keep up this flu pretense.

"I know, I know. I'll go do that. Call me if you need anything."

"Okay. Baiii!" I smiled despite myself and hung up again.

Before I left the kitchen, I stared at the phone and waited for it to ring, but it didn't. I shrugged and left the room, intent on watching some TV when it rang.

Again.

I growled and stomped back into the kitchen, snatching the phone off of the receiver.

"Hello?" I snapped.

"Kokone-chan? Is that you?" How unexpected, I thought.

"Uh…Ran-chan?"

"Hi! How are you?" She evidently didn't know anything about the past week, which for some reason pleased me immensely. She would still be able to talk to me and treat me like I was a normal, mentally healthy human being.

"Fine, fine. How are you?"

"I'm just great. Shinichi and I are at the airport right now, about to leave for Osaka."

"…You are? Why?"

"For Kazuha and Heiji's engagement party, silly! You didn't think they wouldn't invite us, did you?"

"Uh…I suppose they would. So why are you calling me then?"

"Ah…we were wondering if you were still taking care of Ichiro-san's house, actually…"

"He came back," I blurted out.

"O-Oh. Did he really? Well that's fantastic! Do you think he would mind if we stayed with him for a night or two? Hattori-kun and Kazuha-chan said we could stay with them, but we feel like we'd be intruding…"

"I wouldn't know. You'd have to call him. He currently resides with a spawn of Satan."

Woops, let that one slip. Oh well.

"E-Excuse me?" She seemed alarmed, and I could guess why but I just didn't feel like explaining myself.

"Long story. Anyway, call him. I'll see you tomorrow then, ne? Bye, Ran-san -"

"Kokone-chan!"

"…Yes?"

"Are you okay?"

Curses. How did she know?

"I'm fantastic." Why couldn't I lie convincingly anymore? Maybe I just didn't have any fight left in me to try.

"Did something happen?" I heard a murmur in the background, and then shuffling as the phone was transferred to someone else before I could answer.

"Kokone-chan?" Shinichi asked with concern, but more like he was trying to solve a case than anything else.

"Guys, I'm fine. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye." I hung up before they could catch on to anything else. Knowing Shinichi, he'd probably have the entire situation figured out before I even had time to explain the half of it.

Tomorrow, I thought. I have one day to get it together, to show everyone that I was okay, everything had ended well. I wasn't…crazy.

Right?


	25. Chapter 25: Party too Hard

What does one wear when trying to express pure happiness?

Okay, that was going a bit far. But seriously, what kind of outfit did an event such as this require?

I had to remind myself that this was all about Heiji and Kazuha, but that only reminded me that practically everyone there was associated with the police department, and would therefore know _something _about my little mishap. How exactly could I make up for that?

I stood in front of my closet, not even able to sift through clothes as I thought this through. It seemed like I had absolutely nothing that could draw as little negative attention as possible. Hyo Yeoung interrupted my field of vision as he stepped forward to grab a collared shirt off to the left.

"Are you getting ready?" he asked. "You don't have to go, you know…"

"Yes, I do. I just…what am I supposed to wear exactly? Is it formal? Yeah, probably…maybe casual-formal? God, I don't know…" I mumbled to myself as he watched me, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Uh…well, let's see. Where are your dresses?" He took charge and started to shift the clothes around like it was no big deal. "You can literally make _anything _look good, it's just a matter of the occasion, I suppose…"

I couldn't help blushing with this comment. Truthfully, it was really hard to be mad at Hyo Yeoung for extended periods of time, just because he was so naturally kind.

"How about this? Eh, actually…it's kind of cold outside, so maybe something a little warmer."

"I don't think -"

"Here. Perfect. You wore this once, one of the days we went to the park." He held out a white, wintry sweater dress that fell just above the knees and tended to hug any existent curves nicely. I had completely forgotten I owned it in the first place.

"…How do you remember that?"

"I don't know. I just do. Here, you change. I'll go put on my tie and we can go."

I guessed I wasn't allowed to protest at this point, so I gave in reluctantly and changed. That had been the new theme of my life, I decided. Conforming with society seemed to be the best decision in my currently quiet, secretive state.

I was standing in front of the mirror that hung above my dresser now, inspecting every feature of myself as if I hadn't seen my own image in years. My face was tired, worn, and yet, it still held those obnoxiously perfect cheekbones that I inherited from my mother. My eyes were a listless grey that seemed to be constantly worried and wondering. I wondered how I had gotten my hair to look like I had actually tried, as it was curling loosely, framing my face. The dress was just as I had vaguely remembered it; it hugged my hips snuggly so that I appeared to have that curvy, hourglass shape that most girls would die for. I, however, resented it all.

There was a knock at the door, and I heard it open.

"Kokone-ah? Ready to go?"

"…I'm tired," I said, unable to take my eyes away from my reflection. The girl in the mirror seemed to plead with me, telling me not to go anywhere, as if that girl knew something I didn't about the very near future.

"I know. This wasn't a good idea anyway, we can just stay -"

"No," I said firmly, surprising him. "No, I want to go. I just…I look tired."

"Well…I suppose if you got really close and stared for a while. And though people _will _be staring at you, they'll only be seeing you as the stunning girl you are." He smiled reassuringly, and I distantly wondered if he was being honest or not.

"I…Hyo Yeoung-ah -"

"Seriously, you're a knock out. Now let's get going, shall we?" He held out his arm for me to hook mine through, and I did it willingly, but only because I probably would have collapsed otherwise.

The party was supposed to be held at one of the wealthier officer's rather large house. There were already tons of people there, which immediately tied my stomach into knots. People. Too many people. This couldn't be good for my heart.

I let Hyo Yeoung lead me inside though, and tried to ignore the infinite pairs of eyes that followed me as we walked. What were we supposed to do now? Just stand here? Luckily, we were – kind of – saved by the sudden appearance of both of the infamous couples.

"Kokone-chan, it's been a while!" Ran said, reaching forward to hug me with one arm, since I was still attached to Hyo Yeoung and clinging on for dear life.

"Hey, what's the big deal, not returning any of my calls, huh?" Heiji asked somewhat jokingly.

"Busy. She's been busy," Hyo Yeoung answered for me. It seemed like he knew what I needed at that moment, and I didn't really know how to handle that.

"Have you been feeling better?" Kazuha asked worriedly as she leaned against her fiancé.

"Yes," I said, before Hyo Yeoung could say it for me. "I'm fine."

"Have you been sick, Kokone-chan?" Ran asked. Shinichi was eyeing me suspiciously, but he was also glancing around, absorbing all the details.

"So to speak."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Oh, I wish we could visit more often, Shinichi…"

"Mhm, yeah…hey, isn't that Ichiro-san?" He pointed, and everyone but me turned to see.

"Hello everyone! Kazuha-chan, Hattori-kun. Oh, hi there, you must be the Kudos that we heard so much about at dinner last week, ne, Chiro-kun?"

That voice. My stomach lurched.

"Uh…I already know them…" Ichiro laughed nervously with this admittance, but extended his hand as he introduced her to Ran and Shinichi. "It's been awhile, you guys. How is everything?" I continued to stare ahead, watching the far wall. My mind began to wander towards the idea of what different colors would look like throughout the room, for some odd reason.

Hyo Yeoung released his hold on my arm then, and I almost fell in surprise. He caught me before I could slump forward though, trying to steady me as our little circle stopped their conversation uneasily.

"Woah, there. I was going to go get you something to drink. Water? Maybe a soda?" I forced him to let go of me, just to show everyone that I could stand up on my own, thank you very much.

"I'm fine." He looked me over, as if mulling over whether or not I could stay standing. But then he shrugged and left, saying he would be right back.

"…Well anyway, I've always wondered how you guys _deal_ with seeing dead bodies all the time! It just seems so unreal, doesn't it? Oh, I wouldn't be able to handle it." That stupid girl was blabbing about nothing again, and I thought I saw Heiji roll his eyes.

"You get used to it," Shinichi said, still looking around the room, clearly uninterested at the conversation at hand.

"Even so, doesn't it ever freak you out?"

"Dead people aren't the worst things to deal with. It's the live ones you have to look out for." Had I just said that? Everyone's eyes flashed to my face in shock. After a second though, Heiji and Shinichi shared a witty smile. At least they understood, I thought.

"Yes…well…I suppose when you are a threat to human life, dead people seem a lot more compliant." I turned my head slowly to Hikari, who was innocently watching her glass as she swirled whatever was in it around and around. Heiji grumbled under his breath, then said he had to do something and kissed Kazuha on the cheek before parting with our group.

That rotten little…

But I kept quiet. Too much, I thought. It was too much to have to fight with this girl, too much work for my seemingly diminished brain.

"…Hikari," Ichiro said quietly yet sternly. "That's enough." She didn't say anything more, and the conversation dropped to the floor like a dead weight.

"Chiro-kun, I think I'm going to go refill my glass. I'll be back." She smiled warmly before parting from our dwindling group.

"So, Ichiro-san, how long have you and Hikari er…been together?" Kazuha asked amiably.

"About 5 months, I guess. I don't really know, to be honest."

"Well that's good for you."

"When is the wedding supposed to be?"

"Uhm…we haven't exactly talked about that yet…" She was blushing slightly, as if the idea of marrying Heiji was still nerve racking. Maybe it was. I didn't really see a reason for it to be.

They continued to exchange random conversation while I stared at nothing. This wasn't exactly working out as I had planned.

Somehow though, I was able to pick up those snake-like whispers.

"She's the one?"

"How was she even allowed to come to this party?"

"Wasn't she fired?"

_Wasn't she fired?_

This question rang in my head. Was I? Hyo Yeoung had said Heiji called _sometimes _about work, most of the time not…so what did that mean?

"Kazuha-chan, was I fired?" I interrupted rather rudely, but I couldn't help myself. She bit her lip.

"I thought Heiji was going to talk to you about that…" She seemed to be afraid to look at me for whatever reason, and that didn't really assure me, to say the least.

"So I was fired. I shouldn't be here."

"Nonono Kokone-chan, we want you here no matter what!" She was about to touch my shoulder, but then she drew back. "Heiji has all the information. He's trying to do what he can, I think. Maybe we can find him -"

"She almost shot that one guy. Did you hear about that?"

"Yeah, and I also heard that she tried to shoot him. That guy standing right next to her. Isn't that bizarre?"

"You think she has a weapon on her? She's only a forensic analyst, but you never know…"

"Nah. I bet she's on lockdown with _everything_. You don't just get away with something like that, right?"

Each whispered word was like a tiny knife shooting through my back. Didn't people have any consideration anymore?

"I'll see you guys later," I blurted, already walking away. I needed to find Hyo Yeoung.

"But -"

"Kokone-chan!" I ignored them as I craned my neck to get a good look. He was nowhere on this floor. I had seen some people go upstairs, some sort of grand tour of some kind, perhaps. So naturally, that's where I went.

The floor was empty however, and it consisted of a long hallway that diverted both ways off of the large staircase that led up to it. There were a couple doors, most of which were closed.

"Hyo Yeoung-ah?" I called, listening closely. My chest was tightening. I needed to go home, _now._

"Hyo Yeoung-ah!" Nothing. And then…

Giggles. A high giggle, accompanied by a low chuckle. And it was coming from –

Without hesitation, I turned the knob and pushed the door open.

Oh dear God, I thought. This wasn't happening. How was this even possible?

There was a makeshift trail of clothing to the large guest bed that took up the majority of the room. I unfortunately recognized both outfits, and immediately felt sick to my stomach.

"Hyo Yeoung-ah…" I whispered. The two forms under the covers froze, then separated with haste. His head popped out, and he looked completely bewildered. Actually, I knew that look. He was drunk.

But that didn't justify anything. And though I prayed to God that the person with him wasn't who I thought it was, she too peeked out, her hair all mussed up and frizzy.

That worthless bitch, I thought.

I somehow made it out of there, gripping my mouth as I wandered back downstairs in search for a basement. A house like this would have one, right? There was plenty of room, and I had a feeling there wouldn't be people performing disgusting acts down there, at least.

I thankfully didn't run into anyone I knew on the way down there, and also found the basement door tucked away in a small alcove. There were racks and shelves holding objects that varied from canned goods to gardening supplies. It smelled of earthy dirt, and I inhaled deeply, my mind automatically flashing back to my mother's garden so long ago.

"This isn't happening. I'm asleep. I'm asleep, I'm asleep, I'm -"

"Kokone-chan?" I flinched back against one of the shelves, causing a flower pot to fall and shatter to pieces. Kazuha was the one that had found me.

"Oh my gosh. Is everything alright?" I knelt down shakily to begin picking up the large pieces of the broken pot. There was nothing to say. Of course nothing was alright, but I wasn't about to ruin her night. I'd just deal with this later.

"Kokone-chan?" She stepped forward and leaned over to help me, placing a free hand on my shoulder with care. "I…I really wanted to talk to you…" I looked up at her to show that I was listening, all the while struggling to hold everything in.

"Ahem. About…what happened with Hyo Yeoung the other night? I know that he told you…and I'm working on telling Heiji, but I think it can just be forgotten, right? I really wanted to apologize, Kone-chan. I am _so _sorry. I honestly didn't plan for it to happen, and he just kind of…did it, so I didn't really…You're mad at me, aren't you? Oh, I knew you would be. No wonder you've been so quiet -"

All of a sudden there was a crashing noise from behind us; something heavy had fallen off of the shelf, and it definitely wasn't a flower pot. We both wheeled around as something dense thumped onto the floor.

"What – what was that?" She whispered, cowering behind me. I swallowed, then stepped around the shelf. Kazuha kept close behind me, gripping onto my shoulders tightly.

I had seen my fair share of dead bodies, but the fact that there was one lying in such an unnatural position on a night such as this right in front of me made my stomach clench. My palms broke out in a clammy sweat, and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to wake myself up from whatever cruel nightmare this was.

"Kokone-chan! That's a -"

"Hey! What're you two doing down here?"


	26. Chapter 26: Don't

The basement door slammed and a chunky, well-built man I didn't recognize stormed down the small staircase towards us. Kazuha backed up quickly with a whimper, hiding behind me. No one said anything for a second.

"…Well, this is quite a shame," the man grumbled, shoving past us. When he saw the body he growled and turned on us. I flinched back, waiting for him to hit me or push me or _something,_ but nothing happened yet.

"Wh-what are you going to do to us? You didn't _kill_ this man, did you?" Kazuha cried hysterically.

"I guess I have no choice but to deal with you two. And you're both so pretty. Wait a minute, you're the bride, aren't you? Really, that's just so unfortunate…" The man leaned over to move the dead body, speaking as it was just such a shame, and yet it wasn't that big of a deal.

I didn't know what to do, but the fact that this man recognized Kazuha and was still considering killing us made me so mad I could taste acid at the back of my throat. I swung my arm up and was about to deliver a knock-out blow to the back of his neck when he reached up and grabbed my wrist, pulling me sharply to the floor as he stood up and over me.

"I don't have time for this." The man glanced nervously at the door and placed his foot on my back to keep me on the ground. I had nothing in me to solve this problem, but Kazuha wasn't about to just watch me get stepped all over by this random stranger.

"Kone-chan! Get off of her right _now!_" She yelled, lunging forward to grab the man from behind. He was too fast though, and somehow was able to turn towards her while still stepping on me to grab her fiercely by the shoulders.

"I might be able to let you go later if you cooperate now. You don't want your friend to mysteriously develop broken ribs, do you?" She was hesitating now, looking down at me, then back up at him.

"Very good. Now let's get you into this freezer," He said in a sinister tone, wrenching her over both me and the dead body towards a solid metal door that I hadn't noticed until now. What was it, some kind of meat locker?

He opened it and hurled her inside, to which she responded with a shriek. This was quickly muffled by the thick door as he slammed it shut though, and now he was coming for me. I was just starting to shrug myself off of the ground when he reached me, yanking me up to my feet and pushing me in the same direction as the freezer.

"I suppose you're the more compliant one of the two, huh? You haven't said a word." He sneered an evil sneer at me as he opened the freezer door and shoved me inside, quickly slamming it behind me. I stumbled and fell to my hands and knees on the horribly cold ground. Something made a scraping sound against the door; I could only assume that it was the murderer finding something to lock us in with.

So I'm the compliant one now? This would have never been the case – before today, anyway.

"Ko-Ko-Ko-n-n-ne-ch-ch…" Kazuha chattered as she shook violently, trying to help me up. She gave up trying to say my name, and settled on asking me what came next. "Wh-what d-do w-w-we do?" I didn't answer her. She walked up to the door and pressed her ear against it cautiously, wincing when it met with the harsh, cold metal.

"I don't h-hear anyth-th-thing…HEEEEEEEELP!" She screamed, pounding on the door. I sighed and watched my breath float up to the ceiling in a steamy cloud before I sat down. There was nothing left for me to do. I was suddenly so tired that I was sincerely considering lying down and sleeping right there. My backside was already numb as I was sitting on almost pure ice.

"HEEEELP! SOMEONE, HELP US!" She grabbed the handle and pulled as hard as she could, gritting her teeth as she did.

"Kone-chan, help me! I th-think we can g-g-get this open if we w-work together!" She looked back at me, expecting me to get up, but I didn't. Reluctantly, she let go of the handle and walked over to where I was sitting, crossing her arms tightly across her chest. She was wearing a long, elegant, purple dress that probably wasn't the warmest selection ever.

"Listen, I know you're angry with me, but we need to get out of here. What if he gets away? And what if we _die?_"

I wanted to speak, but I didn't. None of these questions seemed to concern me that much. What if he got away? Not possible, I responded in my head, Heiji and Shinichi are here. He was bound to be figured out sometime. What if we died?

Well…what if we did? I hated to admit it to myself, but I didn't really care that I was probably developing hypothermia as I thinking this through. As for Kazuha…okay, that kind of worried me since she actually had a whole life ahead of her with Heiji to look forward to, but what was I supposed to do? There was nothing left. I had nothing left.

"…Will you _please _talk to me? I'm really sorry, Kone-chan, really I am. What can I do to make it up to you?" I raised my gaze to meet hers. She was so sincere that I couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm not mad at you," I whispered weakly, shifting my gaze to the corner of the room. Kazuha didn't say another word, and eventually took up her position by the door again to pound and scream away.

I don't know how long it was until they found us. I also had no idea when I had passed out exactly, but I was woken up by movement, chaos and a small burst of heat that came from the recently opened freezer door.

"Crap, she's out cold."

"Now is _not _the time for jokes, Hattori."

"It wasn't – Oh…I get it. Ha, that's kind of funny."

"Hattori!" I opened my eyes with great difficulty; everything felt so numb. Was I shaking? I couldn't even tell. My vision was blurry and I felt extremely disoriented, like I was waking up from a dreamless dream to see that real life wasn't much different.

"Let's get her out of here. They already got Kazuha-chan, right?"

"Yeah…you think you can take her? I need to go check with the chief."

"Sure." Someone lifted me up and into their arms, and soon the temperature around me changed, though I was pretty sure my personal body temperature wasn't. The area around me was bustling with voices and various chaotic sounds, but I couldn't really identify individual ones in the state I was in.

"Kokone, can you hear me? We'll get you all warmed up in a minute alright? Just hold on." Things were starting to clear up as if my eyes had been fogged over until now. Who was carrying me? Kudo?

"Got room for one more in here, Ogawa-san?"

"Yeah, sure. Here, I'll take her." There was shifting around and eventually I was lying down, staring at the ceiling. It seemed like I was in a kitchen of some sort. "Can you go tell that paramedic out there that we need more thermal blankets? And ask them if they have any more warm fluid bags."

"Got it."

"Alright, Kone-chan." Despite the current situation, my heart fluttered. Why did it do that? "Can you hear me?" Suddenly he was hovering over me, using a mini flashlight to perform tests on my brain functions, lifting my eye lids and such.

"Kazuha?" I asked. My voice sounded so small, even to myself.

"She's right here. Don't worry about her. Can you feel this? Ah?" When I didn't answer, he hesitated. "…I guess we'll wait for the blankets to work their magic for a little while longer then." There were blankets? Huh…

"Is she in here? Kokone-ah?" I inhaled sharply and squeezed my eyes shut, willing my stomach to right itself. No such luck. With great difficulty I sat up and reached for the nearest bucket-like object to puke in.

"Kone-ah! What's wrong with her?" Someone was holding my hair for me as I wretched and struggled – but there quite literally was nothing inside of me to rid of. Ichiro took the bucket from me and helped me lie back down, tucking the blankets around me tightly.

"Is she okay?" He asked hurriedly; I could feel him coming closer.

"Get out," I groaned tiredly, closing my eyes. The tension in the room was so dense you could take a knife and cut it into pieces.

"…I just needed to make sure you were alright." We both knew there was an underlying meaning to this statement.

"Well I'm not, okay?" And there it was. I had finally said it. I was _definitely _not okay. "Get out." I heard him exhale loudly before the door opened and closed.

"Sorry, excuse me. Here, Ogawa-san, they still have a few fluid bags. They also handed me some of this stuff. Said you'd need it." It was Kudo, thank God. I sat up and turned to face him.

"What happened?" I asked. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kazuha huddled up on the other side of the room, though she was sitting up and drinking hot tea. The color in her cheeks was almost back to normal.

"Uh…you don't remember?"

"I mean about the murder."

"Ah! Right. We caught him when he was trying to hide the body. It wasn't much of a case. The real problem was finding you two. He really had that door welded shut, man oh man…"

"So that's it?"

"…Pretty much."

All that for nothing. I bet they didn't even need a forensics team. Not that it would matter, since I wouldn't be on that team anyway.

Shit, what was I going to tell my mom?

Oh. Oh _God._ Not even the whole getting fired thing, what about Hyo Yeoung? There was no way I could hide that from her. This was reason enough for me to divorce him, actually.

I stood up and reached forward for the nearby counter as support.

Divorce. Is that what it came down to? Normally this idea would cause me to rejoice, but…

But what? What was wrong?

Oh, that's right, I had no dignity left. Fantastic.

"Kokone, why don't you lie back down? You're still pretty pale…" I shook away from Ichiro's soft, guiding touch on my shoulder, putting a clenched fist to my forehead.

"I have to tell my mother."

"Tell her…tell her that you have a moderate case of hypothermia?" I ignored him and lifted the blanket off of my shoulders, heading towards the door.

I had to get out of there. I had to save face.

"Hey, wait -"

When I entered the large entertainment area in order to find my way out, the room fell to a standstill. They were all waiting nervously: had the psychopath actually murdered someone this time?

No, I thought harshly, though I was making up random social situations now. It wasn't me this time, I wanted to scream. _I'm not crazy!_

I hmphed and pushed past people to get to the door. Little did I know people were actually following me.

"Kokone, wait a minute, you need to rest. I might actually have to take you to the hospital," Ichiro called after me.

"Oi, Kone-chan!" Heiji hollered from somewhere else.

But one voice stuck out, and it was too close for comfort.

"Kokone-ah, wait. We need to talk." My head snapped up just in time to watch as he tried to grab my arm, to hold me back.

"Don't you _dare _touch me," I seethed, jerking away.

"Wait, wait! I have something to say too!" That _girl _again. How did she not understand how unwanted she was? We were now a circle of confusion; Ichiro watched, bewildered at Hyo Yeoung and Hikari's closeness, Ran stood off to the side, watching with wide wondering eyes while Heiji and Shinichi stood behind Ichiro, most likely trying to deduce what would happen next.

Ichiro didn't even know. He probably didn't suspect a thing. I mean, this was the ever so perfect Hikari we were talking about here.

"I don't give a damn what you have to say, you filthy WHORE." Hikari flinched back as if my words were dangerous projectiles. Hyo Yeoung reached out again, muttering my name in an effort to calm me down, but I wouldn't have it. "And you! Touching me could be _extremely _hazardous to your health, so you'd better watch yourself." For a long moment, I thought to myself: Ha! Take _that! _I am _not _the most compliant one anymore! I'm back!

But then I realized what I was about to do and all my bravado was lost. I felt the raw hurt burn in my heart, and wondered how this looked to everyone else.

"You just had to take it, didn't you," I said quietly, then shook my head. "I can't even look at you."

I turned to open the front door, prepared to walk home when Ichiro stepped forward. Nope. Not tonight, I thought.

"Please," I pleaded. "Please, for the love of God, just leave me alone."

I stalked out of the house and started to weave around the numerous parked cars to get to the nearest sidewalk. There had been a bus stop nearby, right? I heard footsteps and turned around to see who it was, ready to find out that it was Hyo Yeoung or someone I wanted to beat the crap out of.

Instead, I found Ichiro. He had this distractingly determined look on his face that made him look like he wasn't about to take any of my nonsense. I sighed tiredly.

"Quit following me. Go back and help Kazuha."

"She's fine. What's going on with you? You were all buddy-buddy with your husband earlier and now you're…" He seemed to be at a loss for appropriate words to describe my behavior, but I knew what he could have said. _Now you're crazy/hostile/a raging monster._

"It doesn't matter. Leave me alone." Thinking back, I probably should have told him right then and there what had happened, especially since it was his girlfriend that was a major part of it, but I had wanted Hikari to tell him herself. Maybe then he would see how worthless she really was.

"What did he do to you?" He countered, ignoring me completely as he continued to follow me down the sidewalk. "He sent me out here, telling me 'you're welcome.' What did he do?"

Wait, Hyo Yeoung was actually trying to make this seem better than it was? He was trying to make it look like he had done this _intentionally_ so that I would finally get rid of him and run to Ichiro?

Bullshit.

"Ichiro, go away."

"Kokone, no." He sounded so sure of himself that I was almost willing to give in.

"Would you just stop? I don't need you around to solve my problems for me, alright? Go talk to your girlfriend, she should be able to give you any information you desire."

"What does Hikari have to do with anything?" He demanded. My stomach boiled.

"Leave me alone. I can't do this right now."

"Where are you going?" I clenched my shaking fists, resisting the urge to scream for no apparent reason.

"Why do you care!"

"Kokone, you _know _I care, there doesn't have to be a specific reason."

"Then you can just as easily find someone else to worry about. I'm leaving. Don't follow me." When he took another step towards me, I used the fiercest and most convincing voice I had left.

"_Don't._" I commanded. He stopped short, clearly confused. I tried not to be bothered by the hurt puppy look as I forced myself to keep walking.

I didn't look back, but somehow I just knew.

He wasn't following.


	27. Chapter 27: Put Your Fists Up

I was so freaking cold. My mother had even taken my temperature after I admitted I had been struck with hypothermia as a result of my nap in the freezer, and it was normal. So why was I shivering and gritting my teeth to keep them from chattering?

I was alone in my room now. Every time I came to this house – which wasn't often, I admit – I was repeatedly surprised that she hadn't changed my old room into anything of greater use. Actually, nothing seemed to change at all. It was like I had never left, which was pretty depressing in multiple ways. On one hand, it could have been because my mother dealt with her losses in this way, just as she had with my father's death, acting as if nothing were out of the ordinary. On the other, there was the possibility that she simply did not care whether I was around or not.

I tended to favor the first idea.

On my left, there was a steaming bowl of soup on my nightstand. I just stared at it, wishing I could absorb the heat that way since I was too afraid to let any cold air under the blankets by attempting to drink it.

I had no idea where she had gone, but she assured me that she would be back soon. One may wonder how I was responding to all of this sudden motherly affection…

Yeah, I didn't really know how I was either. When I came crying to her about what had happened, she was pretty skeptical to begin with. Her eyes rolled and she scolded me for showing weakness so many times that I lost count.

_"Kokone-ah, you stop your crying right now! What on earth is the matter with you?" she had demanded._

_ "H-H-He -"_

_ "Would you stop blubbering so I can at least understand you? For God's sakes, what is it?" She was standing over me as I had promptly sat myself down cross-legged in the middle of the entryway when I first arrived._

_ "Ommaaaaaa…" I had wailed._

_ "Whaaaat! What is it!" She stooped over now, patting my back awkwardly in an effort to get me to calm down. I took a shaky breath and tried my best._

_ "H-Hyo Y-Y-Yeoung-ah…he _cheated._ H-He slept with another g-girl."_ _She didn't appear to understand. Cheating? She had chosen a horrible man for me to marry? No, that just wasn't possible._

_ "…Hyo Yeoung did what?"_

_ "You didn't hear? HE CHEATED ON MEEEE!" I shrieked, rocking back and forth. Her eyes widened and she stood up slowly, leaving me to cope on my own in the entryway. This only made me wail louder until she came back in with a set of blankets. She nudged me with her foot, telling me to get up, now, and to go to my room._

And now here I was, still lying there with no indication of the time or what I was supposed to do next.

Blech. What a mess. I shuddered uncontrollably as I thought of the mass amount of cleaning up I had to do after last night.

_Ogawa Ichiro's POV:_

Hikari was acting…rather bizarre. Incredibly bizarre, actually. She wouldn't talk to me, and when she did, she tried to tell me something and then stopped herself. I tried to shrug it off, but it was getting a little bit annoying. Why had she been so touchy with Hyo Yeoung after the whole murder case was solved?

And more importantly, why was Kokone's behavior changing so drastically in such short spurts of time? That look that she gave Hyo Yeoung right before she left, after she told him not to touch her…

Why, it was nothing but pure pain. And then after she left, he had told me to go after her. He had even said _you're welcome._ What was that all about? What did he do?

I fell asleep wondering about this and was woken by the sound of my phone ringing shrilly on my nightstand.

"Hello?" I muttered groggily. I noticed that Hikari wasn't in bed with me, and connected that with the fact that she hadn't been there when I went to bed to conclude that she hadn't come to bed at all the night before.

"Oi! You wouldn't believe what just happened." Sigh. Heiji.

"Mouuu, Hattori….what do you want?"

"Are you still living with Hikari?"

"Uh…as far as I know. Why?"

"You mean you don't _know?_"

"Know _what?_ Would you just tell me so I can go back to sleep?"

"I hate to say this, but the last thing you're going to want to do is sleep after you hear this story."

"…Okay. What happened?" I sat up, preparing to focus on his words intently.

"So Hyo Yeoung came to our place looking for Kokone, saying she hadn't come home, that she was missing, yadda yadda – anyway, he's hysterical about it, so we tell him we'll help him look, right?"

"…Where's Kokone?" He sighed heatedly.

"I'm getting to that."

"Sorry, continue." I rolled my eyes, but there was no way he could know that.

"So Hyo Yeoung gets a call. He answers, talks for a while in Korean. Ten minutes later, Kokone's _mom_ shows up."

"…At your _house?_"

"Yep. She came stormin' in, started beating Hyo Yeoung over the head with her purse – It was actually pretty funny."

"Wait, what did he do?"

"…I was _getting _to that…"

"Right. Sorry."

"So we finally pry the woman off of him, and she starts yelling at him and cussing at him, all that crap. But then Kazuha and I had to ask – what did he do, and where was Kokone?"

"…And?"

"Kokone's staying with her mom. You know why?"

"Out with it already!" I urged.

"Because she caught Hyo Yeoung cheating on her with your little girlfriend upstairs in one of the guest rooms last night. Right before the murderer shut her and Kazuha in the freezer." He let this information sink in for a moment.

Did I hear him right?

I looked up and standing in the doorway was none other than Hikari, guilt clouding her features. One look at my face and she knew. She knew that I knew.

"Is she still there?" I asked as I watched Hikari carefully.

"Who?"

"Kokone's mom."

"Nah, she left. I'm about to give Hyo Yeoung a lift home now. I've been hiding out in my bedroom closet for like 15 minutes so, I gotta get going. I just wanted to make sure you knew."

"Wait. I'll pick him up. I need to talk to him."

"…I dunno about that, Ichiro-san…"

"Oh come on, what do you think I'm going to do, kill him? If he slept with my girlfriend, I need to have a word with him." Hikari bit her lip and turned away, trying to avoid my penetrating gaze.

"…Alright."

"I'll be right there."

I hung up and grabbed a random pair of pants that had been lying in a heap on the floor. I changed into them quick and pushed past Hikari, unable to utter a single word.

"Chiro-kun?" She spoke up quietly, just as I was walking out the door. I stopped, but didn't turn around. "I-I'm really sorry…" I exhaled to keep myself calm, then shut the door without an answer.

While driving over, I couldn't help but get angrier and angrier with every passing minute. Who in their right mind would cheat on Kokone? She was a _goddess_, and though she was a little scary and secretive at times, she was still great to be around and talk to, when you were on her good side.

But more importantly, why did he do it? And with _my _girlfriend, of all people? Though it may have seemed rude to say out loud, I couldn't deny that Kokone was _way_ hotter than Hikari. Sure, Hikari was cute, but Kokone…

Well, she was just…something else. There were no appropriate words.

…Could that mean that they hadn't…?

But they had been talking about…

So Kokone was holding out on him?

I nearly slammed on the breaks. So he was impatient and ungrateful, huh? Well that just wasn't going to do.

I got out of the car and shoved the door shut before I burst into their house. Heiji looked pretty pissed about something, as he was listening to Kazuha explain something to him. Hyo Yeoung was rubbing his face tiredly, like he was under a lot of stress.

"…and I didn't initiate it or anything -"

"It's true, she didn't."

"…So yeah. That's it. He kissed me, and…"

"I'm pretty sure that's what pushed Kokone over the edge. And it's all my _fault_."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Heiji asked in frustration, running a hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry, Heiji! I didn't know how you'd feel about it, and it meant _nothing_, so -"

"Wait a minute, you cheated on Kokone _twice?_" I seethed. Was this really happening? How could he even –

"Ichiro-san…what're you doing here?" Kazuha wondered. Hyo Yeoung's head whirled around to see me standing there, trying to contain my anger.

"I – Look, it just kind of happened, and Hikari did just as much bad as I did in this situation so -"

"I don't care about Hikari!" It was only then that I realized this was true. "You don't deserve someone like Kokone, you bastard!" I rolled up my sleeves as I charged towards him, fists ready.

Everything that happened after that was a blur. Fists were flying back and forth, people were yelling, telling us to stop – and then I was finally pulled away from Hyo Yeoung by Heiji, who had great difficulty with this task.

I couldn't believe the nerve of this guy. I was also wary of myself. This had never happened before; I was always the one pulling others out of fights, not the other way around. Until today, I had never fulfilled the urge to punch someone, much less beat them up. I wasn't a violent person.

"Ichiro-san, _stop!_" Kazuha cried in a shrill voice. She was off to the side, her arms held in front of herself protectively since she couldn't really do anything else with them. Hyo Yeoung was sitting up now, holding his nose as he groaned in pain. Heiji was still holding me back forcefully.

"Calm down, he's not worth it," he told me, though his voice suggested that he was pretty pleased with what I had done. I shrugged out of his grasp and started for the door. Just as I was about to leave though, I turned back around.

"If you ever do anything to her again, I'll pummel you into dirt. And you might want to get your nose looked at. I'm pretty sure I broke it."

And that was that.


	28. Chapter 28: Part of Your World

_Kokawa Kokone's POV:_

"I fixed it."

I blinked, thinking I may have been hallucinating. But then she spoke again.

"You awake? I said I fixed it. You're getting divorced. I'll deal with his uncle later. In the meantime, I'll heat up your soup. You'd better eat it this time."

"Omma?" I clarified. When was the last time she did _anything _for me that actually benefited my wellbeing?

"Who else would it be? I'll be right back with your soup, crazy girl…" She shuffled out of the room. I sat up, keeping the blankets wrapped around me as tightly as possible. The room was eerily quiet, and my mother had left the door open after she left, which gave me a perfect view of the door directly across the hall that encased the crime scene from so long ago. I sighed and told myself to get up.

Bad idea, I thought as I fell back to a seated position on the bed. Who knew witnessing your husband's one night stand could make you so weak?

No. I can do this.

I gathered up the strength and stood up once again. Success!

I made my way into the kitchen at a painstaking pace and sat myself down at the table. My mother looked up from the stove, where she was heating up a rather large quantity of soup, her expression full of suspicion.

"What?" I snapped. She raised her eyebrows and looked back down at the soup innocently.

"Nothing, nothing." I turned my attention towards the window while she stirred the soup idly.

"Omma," I said a few minutes later.

"Mwo."

"Why are you letting me get divorced so easily?" She took a moment to think about her answer.

"I did not raise my daughter to be disrespected and mistreated. It's one thing to have petty arguments with him, but for him to outright _cheat _on you…and he did such a poor job at hiding it, I imagine -"

"Omma. Please. But I don't understand…"

"You don't understand me? Or you don't understand him?"

"…Both," I admitted sheepishly.

"What, I have to have a legitimate excuse to protect my daughter? Even if I raised you to fend for yourself and fight like a warrior, I will not stand by and let this nonsense carry on. Eat your soup." She placed the bowl in front of me, and I felt the steam caress my face. It smelled fantastic, no doubt, but I was still too unsettled to eat.

For once, it felt homey and cozy in my household. My mother turned to the sink to wash the dishes, the familiar sound of clinking silverware filling the silence. I could feel the soup's warmth without even having to eat it. My legs were curled up in the chair; one folded underneath me while the other was bent, my foot flat on the seat of the chair. I gently pushed the bowl of soup away from me and rested my head on my arms, feeling my eye lids getting heavy.

It was utterly ridiculous that I was still tired enough to sleep. Naturally, I fell into that weird state where you're sleeping but you can still hear everything around you, kind of like when I was in the hospital, where I had laid lifelessly for two weeks.

Something touched the top of my head before a layer of blankets was laid around my shoulders. A dull thudding sound came from somewhere off in the distance, and I heard the shuffling of feet in response. A moment later, it sounded like the front door opened, and voices started to murmur.

"She's sleeping," my mother said in a clipped voice. If I didn't know any better, then the person at the door was either Ichiro or someone that she believed didn't belong there.

"…Can I come in anyway, ma'am? I wanted to talk to you, if that's alright." Knew it, I thought.

"Fine. Keep your voice down." The door shut, and the padding of feet got closer as they approached the kitchen once again.

"Would you like some tea?" My mother was being surprisingly accepting today, though she didn't seem happy that she was offering anything at all.

"If you're having some, that would be nice." The voice was remarkably close, and it was undoubtedly Ichiro. He was probably sitting across from me. I willed myself to get up, but something in my mind just didn't want to comply, so I laid there in that rather awkward position as I felt myself inhale and exhale evenly like I had when I was hooked up to that manual respirator so many years ago.

"If you would like some soup, there is some there on the table. She didn't want to eat, I suppose." She seemed annoyed by this, and if I had been awake I probably would have rolled my eyes.

"…Really."

"She's a mess. I'm not going to try to hide it. She is a _mess._"

"Hm," Ichiro said thoughtfully. How embarrassing.

"What is it you wanted to talk about?"

"So you know what happened with Hyo Yeoung. I heard you went and er…talked to him." Had she? Oh God, I could only imagine what "talked to him" really meant.

"I had a word or two with him. They'll be officially divorced soon."

"Good." This tone struck me as odd. It was almost…_hostile._ Ichiro was never _hostile._

"Hm. I suppose I can understand why that pleases you." Her voice was close now – was she sitting at the table too?

"Thank you," Ichiro said, and then I heard someone take a sip of tea.

"What…what is that on your face?"

"Pardon?"

"Your face. There's a bruise under your eye…and a cut on your forehead! What in the world -"

"A-Ah, right. About that…"

"Aren't you a doctor? Shouldn't you take care of that rather than run around with these nasty evidences of violence on your face? Who did you fight with?" You would have thought she was questioning _me_, the way she sounded. She normally saved the accusatory tone for the sole purpose of scolding me and me alone.

"W-Well -"

"What are you trying to do, trash your image? You never get into fights, ah? Usually you're the one pulling Kokone out of them!"

"I know, I know, trust me…but he deserved it." My mother gasped.

"You fought _Hyo Yeoung?_"

"Yes, ma'am. It just sort of…happened."

"I see."

"…Does that disappoint you?" Something about this whole conversation seemed wrong to me. They both seemed so…comfortable around each other, compared to other encounters. Ichiro usually never spoke to my mother unless he was asked a direct question for fear of offending her. Though she usually had some snarky comments to share, she never showed this type of concern before…

My mother sighed.

"I don't know. She's breaking. After all these years, she's finally done. And it's all thanks to that _byungshin_…" she hissed harshly. Ichiro didn't say anything more.

"I need to go meet up with his uncle. Don't let her do anything stupid." A chair scratched lightly against the floor as she got up. It was quiet for a long time, and then I felt it.

He grabbed my left hand and pulled it towards him slightly. Before I could even begin to think of what he was about to do, he was gingerly sliding my wedding ring off of my finger, careful enough so as not to wake me. My hand was placed back on the table once again.

A small noise stuck in my throat, and I felt myself flex my hand as I rolled my head to the side so that I could see. It was like the removal of that wedding ring was enough to bring a part of me back to life. I blinked, and Ichiro came into view.

"Hey there, sleepy head." Something about his face was off, just barely. I sat up and rubbed my eyes to get a better look. He raised a precarious eyebrow at me when I continued to stare at him. I reached up and touched the bluish, bruising area under his eye, just on his cheekbone.

"Why did you get into a fight?" He rolled his eyes.

"I can't believe you're actually asking me that."

"Chiro, you never hit people. You're always the diplomat."

"…I got pissed, okay? Is that so hard to believe? And I also told you that I'd kick his ass if he ever messed with you." He looked at me with surprising urgency, willing me to understand. I moved my fingers up to trace the cut just above his eyebrow.

"Did you win?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"I broke his nose," he said with disgust. "If you call that winning."

"Ouch. I can't say that disappoints me though."

"Why didn't you do anything?"

"Do anything?"

"You were mad at first, but then…you just left. Told everyone to leave you alone." A look of hurt flashed across his face, if only for a second.

"I was just…really tired," I explained pathetically. He waited patiently for me to say something else as he watched me with careful eyes.

"We fought all the time. _All_ the time." I shook my head and sighed, disbelieving. "I'm just so tired of fighting with him. With _everyone_, actually." He nodded in understanding.

"Did you get home okay last night?" He reached up and felt my forehead, then my cheek.

"I'm fine, Doctor Worry Wart." He scowled at me momentarily.

"Your hypothermia was more severe than Kazuha's. She said you had passed out at least 30 minutes before she did."

"Really."

"Your lips were turning blue." I grimaced. We were silent for a moment.

"You should eat something," he said, pushing the bowl of soup towards me. It was no longer steaming, but probably wasn't cold yet. I shoved the bowl away in disgust after my stomach lurched.

"I can't."

"Kokone. You won't ever get better if you don't eat."

"It can wait."

"Come on. Just eat this – for me. So that I'll feel better about leaving you here alone." I bit my lip.

"Fine," I allowed. He watched me as I picked up my spoon and took a shaky bite.

…And it surprisingly went down easily enough. I took another, and another. He regarded me with an amused expression.

"So…Hikari," I said as I took another bite.

"What about her?"

"I don't really know anything about her. Where is she from?"

"…Boston. Where I was staying. After I found out she could speak Japanese and was actually from Japan, we er…got to know each other, and she ended up coming back with me. Actually, she made me come back."

"Why?" I asked, honestly curious.

"Well…I talked a lot about you. But all she knew was that you and I were…are…best friends. I told her something bad happened, and after a while she told me I needed to go back and fix everything."

"Something bad?" I commented, slightly hurt. "That's what you thought it was?"

"N-No, by all means – but it didn't do me any favors." He rubbed the back of his head nervously as he stared at the table.

"It's okay. I know it was a mistake. I screwed up."

"It takes two people, Kokone," he said in a disapproving tone. "And it wasn't a…_mistake._ It just got to be too much, you know? I tried to deal with you marrying Hyo Yeoung, and I told myself that it would all work out for the best, but then after that night…I realized everything I would be missing. And I couldn't deal with it."

"I'm sorry," I whispered softly. "I shouldn't have -"

"Quit blaming yourself for everything. I know you hate being the victim, but you are in this situation." I was about to retort with some sort of snarky remark, but decided to drop it as I sighed and stared down at my soup.

"Uhm…speaking of victims…" I started. "I almost killed you. I almost killed a _lot_ of people, actually."

"Kokone, there's no way you could have -"

"No," I asserted firmly. He waited, his eyebrows furrowed. "You don't understand. I almost did. There was a moment where I thought I actually was _going _to pull that trigger." I shivered and looked away. "Out of everything that has ever happened to me, that was the scariest moment of my life."

"…Well the important thing is that you didn't." I still didn't look at him. Time for a subject change, I thought.

"So what…happens now?" I asked quietly.

"Hmm…" he hummed thoughtfully. "Well, Hikari moves out. You get rid of this -" he held up my wedding ring. It looked different when it wasn't on my finger, somehow. "And then you focus on getting better."

"I'm not sick," I said sharply.

"…You're not well. Don't even try to deny it."

"Hmph. What about you? Are you…okay?"

"I'm perfectly fine. Hikari wasn't…that was nothing serious." I raised my eyebrows at him. "Why is that so surprising? It wasn't. It sounds bad, but I'm pretty sure I was just trying to fill a void, if you will. And I never fought with Hikari or anything, like you fought with Hyo Yeoung. It was more like we were…friendly roommates, I suppose."

"It's too bad that didn't work out."

"Yeah, well…" he shrugged, obviously not bothered by this at all. But then he got serious. "I'm really sorry he cheated on you, Kokone. And with my…girlfriend, no less."

I had been about to take another bite of my soup, but his apology made me freeze. It was obviously sympathy, maybe even pity. And _damn, _did I ever hate pity.

Then I thought of how many more people would be saying the same exact thing – _Sorry he cheated on you _– once word got around. My stomach seemed to jolt around at this thought, and I nearly fell out of my chair in my attempt to make it to the bathroom in time.

"Kokone?" Ichiro said, clearly confused. He hadn't even had time to get up by the time I was slamming the bathroom door and hurtling myself towards the toilet.

Why did this always happen? Why have I always been so easily unsettled? You'd think I'd somehow find a way to stop myself from puking as a reaction to situations like this, but even today that proved to be impossible.

I coughed and wiped my mouth as I lifted my head out of the toilet, leaning it lethargically against the wall while my left hand felt around for the flush lever. My mother was right; I was a mess indeed. A tentative knock sounded at the door.

"Kokone? Are you okay?"

Not particularly, I wanted to say out loud. It was silent for a moment before he actually tried to open the door.

"Can I come in?" He asked as he opened the door, but I figured it would be unnecessary to answer this since he was already walking in. I tilted my head back and closed my eyes. Then I felt his hands on my cheeks. He waited.

When I opened my eyes, he was right in front of me, kneeling to my level and looking me straight in the eyes. He held my face securely and continued to stare, as if checking for something.

"I wonder why that happens. I wish there was a way to fix that." When I gave him a quizzical look, he explained further. "The whole nauseous reaction thing, I mean."

"Right." I looked over his face once more, taking in the minor injuries that completely altered his overall image. When I thought about it, I couldn't help but smile.

"What?" He said, cracking a witty grin. I shook my head.

"I just can't believe you of all people got into a fistfight." He chuckled and stood up, turning to the cabinet next to the sink. When he turned back around to face me, he was holding out my toothbrush.

"I'd fight for you any day. Someone has to."

I reached out and took his extended hand, grabbing my toothbrush as he pulled me back into his world.


	29. Chapter 29: December 13th

"Don't you have a job to get back to? The divorce was finalized last week! Why are you still here?" I looked up from the paper with some noodles hanging out of my mouth precariously. "And swallow your food!" I slurped the noodles up quickly and tried to figure out how to answer her first question.

You see, I was getting around to telling her, I suppose…

I just hadn't figured out how yet.

"Well? What do you have to say for yourself?" My mother loomed over me, her hands planted firmly on her hips. She took my bowl of egg noodles away from me and set them down, juuuust out of my reach. I frowned at it, resisting the urge to get up to retrieve my breakfast. Or lunch, depending on your point of view.

As I thought about this, I glanced at the clock in the kitchen. It was 2 in the afternoon.

Woops. Guess that counts as lunch, even though I've only been awake for a half hour.

"Kokone-ah!" My mother snapped. My head instinctively tilted up to meet her gaze obediently.

"Hmm?" I stammered cautiously. She reached out and smacked me on top of my head, causing me to grimace.

"Did you do something stupid? Did you fight with someone? Ah? AH?" I flinched back with each syllable, nearly falling out my chair.

"Uhmm…not exactly…"

"What does that mean?"

"…Omma. I got into a bit of trouble, you see -"

"I knew it. What was it this time? Disrespect? You need to learn your place in this world, Kokone -"

"No! I – Well, I guess it _could _be considered disrespectful…depending on how you feel about being targeted with a gun…" Her eyes widened and she only appeared to be angry rather than surprised.

"You _shot _someone?"

"No, no! Almost…but I didn't. They uh…they kind of fired me because of it though. Think I'm mentally unstable or something." I said this as if it were absolutely ridiculous, but really, who could blame them? Not like I'd want some insane woman wielding a gun running around my workplace either.

"You little -" she grumbled, picking up my bowl of noodles and shoving it back into my hands before she stormed out of the room. I blinked, bewildered, as I had expected her to blow up the house or something a bit more drastic. Though I wasn't entirely able to shrug it off, I sighed and continued to eat, then washed my bowl and put everything away.

Now what? I asked myself. I was busying myself with meaningless tasks these days, the majority of which included some form of sleep. I hadn't seen Ichiro in about a week or so; we talked on the phone occasionally, but I made it apparent to my mother that I was "not home" when he stopped by.

Even I didn't know why I was behaving this way. For some reason it just felt right to seclude myself from the world. Hell, I hadn't even been back to my own damn apartment since before Hyo Yeoung and I left for that party…

I wondered if he had moved out or not. We didn't really discuss anything – I wouldn't let him. Every time he tried to apologize or grovel, I squeezed my eyes shut and blocked out the noise. He eventually gave up and just sat through the whole divorce method, just like I was. We weren't in charge of anything. In fact, our respective elders took care of everything. My mother and his uncle were a team, regardless of what they really thought of each other. It was obvious that my mom was pretty pissed about the whole situation, and was a bit partial to Hyo Yeoung's uncle at this point, if that.

But it was at least over.

Kind of.

Anyway, in the meantime, I stayed inside my mother's house and did mind numbing chores, read, watched TV, ate, and slept. I wasn't even really tired anymore, there was just nothing better to do.

Before I had a chance to consider my options at that point, my mother whirled into the room with a pile of fabric bunched up in one fist while her other one was shaking at me in a rather threatening manner. I backed up quick and tripped over the chair that I had previously been sitting in, falling back and right onto the hard wood floor.

"Get up! You clumsy little -" I struggled to lift myself up as fast as possible.

"Omma, calm down!"

"Don't you tell me when to calm down," she seethed at me through her teeth. "Put this on. You're going to go get your job back. Right. _Now._" She nearly punched my stomach as she passed the bundle of clothing to me.

"Oof!" I huffed. "Omma, I can't just get my job back…even if I _am _wearing this dress." My mood was turning sour fast. The dress she had handed over to me was a V-neck halter one with a bunch of floral patterns on it. It would most likely fall right above my knees.

"_Put it on._" Despite what she was trying to do, she didn't have to tell me twice. The look in her eyes was enough to send shivers down my spine. I quickly obeyed, not even bothering to return to my room to do so. Once it was on, my mother stepped in front of me, somehow much calmer now, and examined my face.

"Hmm…your hair is always such a mess. But does it matter? I wonder…" She reached forward and scruffed up my hair, which probably didn't do me any favors. She was right – it was _always_ a curly mess.

"Aigoo, aigoo…this will have to do. Go. Get out of my sight. Get some fresh air." She started to shove me towards the front door. Needless to say, I protested.

"Omma, do you know how _cold _it is outside?" I asked as I fought to keep myself steady. She continued to push.

"Then grab your sweater! Don't forget your shoes, and _please_ don't do anything stupid this time."

"Tch!" I hissed at her as I slipped on my white sandals and my black sweater. One would have thought it was summer by the way I was dressing when in actuality it was December, though I didn't know what day, and probably in the 40s outside.

"Well? Get going!" She shooed me with her hand. When I just stood there stubbornly, she frowned and opened the door, then promptly hurled me out of it. I heard it slam shut behind me as I started to fall down the steps –

…And was caught by the elbows.

"Woah there. Where are you headed off to?" I looked up and was met by Ichiro's magnificently green eyes. My mind drew a blank.

"Uhh…" I mumbled, trying to find the words. How was it possible for someone to have so much power over my self-control? Already my knees were weakening, but I pushed myself up and stepped back, crossing my arms tightly across my chest. He looked me over subtly with curiosity burning in his eyes.

"Wow…you look…you look great. Where are you going?" Interesting. I honestly had no idea anymore.

"I…don't really know." He raised an eyebrow quizzically.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." He nodded, though it was clear he wasn't buying my answer completely.

"Haven't seen you in a while. You been…getting stuff done?" I grimaced.

"To be completely honest, I've been in this house for the past week."

"Oh. Did you know I dropped by? I don't know if your mom -"

"Yes. I knew. I'm sorry." He was silent for a moment. "So…what're you doing here?"

"Oh, right – I came to get you."

"Get me? For what?"

"Well…come on, let's just go to my house. Get this over with." He seemed nervous about something, and that's when I noticed he was wearing a black collared shirt with a dark green tie and slacks. His hair was sticking up somewhat haphazardly in random places, but at the same time it wasn't anywhere near messy.

He looked pretty damn handsome, if you asked me.

"What are you all dressed up for?" I unconsciously started walking with him down the sidewalk. Surprisingly, it wasn't as cold as I thought it would be outside. Maybe in the 50s, I guessed. The air felt nice against my skin, and I definitely noticed the difference between the pent up air of my house and the fresh oxygen outside.

"I could ask you the same question." He smiled nicely, like he appreciated me, and not the dress itself.

"I asked you first," I teased. He rolled his eyes, but continued to smile.

"You'll see, I guess." I didn't really like that answer. After a second, he fidgeted and stared straight ahead, seemingly anxious about something uncomfortable.

"Is something wrong? Why are we going to your house?" He glanced over at me momentarily, then sighed in a defeated way, his shoulders slumping forward.

"I can't keep it from you. And I'm about to ruin it, but for the record, it wasn't my idea, and I basically had no choice in the matter -"

"Ruin what?"

"…You really don't know?"

"Should I?" I countered, honestly confused. He gaped at me, then nudged me playfully with his elbow while his hands remained in his pockets.

"Kokone, you didn't really forget your own birthday, did you?" My jaw fell open slightly, but I snapped it shut and turned my attention to the house we were passing.

"It's my birthday?" I muttered stupidly, since I was honestly mystified. Sure, I didn't care much for my birthday, and I really, _truly _hated celebrating it, but that didn't mean I forgot…

"Hey, it's understandable. You've been distracted."

"It's December 13th?" I had definitely lost track of time.

"It is. Don't worry about it though. Everyone forgets things from time to time."

"I didn't…forget. I just didn't know. Wow." He chuckled nervously, which brought me back to what we had been talking about previously.

"So…you dressed up for my birthday?" I looked up at him and I swore he was blushing ever so slightly.

"Yeah, well. So did everyone else." I halted.

"…Okay I know, you don't like this kind of stuff. Believe me, I tried to stop them, but they all wanted to _so _badly. And they miss you, Kokone."

"Everyone else?" I asked, disbelieving. "You mean…everyone is waiting at your house? For _me?_"

"Y-Yeah…" He rubbed the back of his head as he regarded me carefully. Poor guy. He knew me too well, and was probably waiting for me to snap. After all, I never wanted to celebrate my birthday. Ever. In fact, I once told Ichiro that the only things he could ever buy for me under _any _circumstances were flowers. I sighed and started walking again.

"As you said, let's get this over with."

"You're not mad?" He asked hopefully.

"Nah. They don't know any better. And I guess I can understand why they want to do this."

"They really do miss you. We all do."

"That's nice, I guess."

"You don't miss them?" He seemed slightly hurt by this assumption, so I turned to face him, willing him to understand.

"It's not that…I'm just -"

"Tired?" He guessed. I looked down.

"Not really. Not anymore, anyway. I think I'm scared," I admitted shyly.

"Scared?"

"It's not that I don't trust them. And I love them all to death, but…" He waited patiently, as always. I exhaled tiredly and pinched the bridge of my nose. It had been a while since I had actually thought about this.

"I don't want to let anyone down. Disappoint them. Hurt them. I don't know…" Immediately I felt stupid for saying these things out loud. There was no way that they were disappointed in me, right? I mean, they were my friends…

Of course, Hyo Yeoung was my friend. Was.

"There's no way that you could do any of those things. Hey. Look at me." I reluctantly lifted my gaze to find him staring at me with an intense sincerity. "You never let anyone down. No one is disappointed in you. And you definitely didn't hurt anybody. Okay?" I nodded once, and then noticed we were standing in front of his house.

"So…what am I going to find inside exactly?" I asked suspiciously.

"I apologize in advance. When I say everyone is here, I do mean _everyone_. They all think they're so sneaky too. Presents, a cake, decorations, _balloons…_The whole deal." I winced.

"Ugh. What am I supposed to say when I get in there? 'Woohoo, I'm a year closer to death, thanks guys'?"

"Aw, come on. Give them some credit. They wanted to cheer you up." He leaned in suddenly and acted like he was telling me a secret as he feigned looking around to see if anyone was within earshot. "I only got you flowers, by the way. I had nothing to do with the rest of it." I snorted.

"Oh, shut up. Let's go, they're waiting."


	30. Chapter 30: Happy Birthday!

Holy. Shit.

That was all I could think. The only two words that appeared in my mind as I tried to process the scene presented before me. Ichiro had said presents, cake, decorations…but I didn't anticipate just how _much_ there would be.

Balloons were tied to any available surface, streamers hung from the ceiling. Through the kitchen entrance, I made note of the colorful cake that rested on the table. A small pile of gifts lay between the couch and my father's piano.

And then there were flowers literally _everywhere._ I should have specified the amount when I told Ichiro he could only buy me flowers…

"SURPRISE!" everyone had shouted enthusiastically. Though I knew it was coming, I nearly jumped out of my skin. Ichiro was standing behind me, his right arm touching the back of my shoulder just barely. I could feel him examining my face carefully, as was everyone else as they waited for me to respond. They struggled to keep their friendly and excited smiles on their faces as I stared in disbelief.

Shinichi stood with his arm lightly around Ran's shoulders while Heiji had one hand on Kudo's shoulder and the other on Kazuha's, connecting them all together. Kazuha had her hand placed over Heiji's lovingly as she smiled brightly towards me. And then…

There they were. Kazuko and Kazumi. I hadn't seen them in so long because of everything that had happened, it was a wonder why I hadn't heard from them sooner. Kazuko was maybe a little taller, and still cute as ever, while Kazumi was jumping lightly on her toes, her height noticeably smaller than everyone else's. When she couldn't contain herself anymore, she burst out of Kazuko's arms and came running toward me.

"Kokone-neechan!" she cried in that sweet, high voice. She wrapped her arms around my legs and sighed contentedly. My hands fell onto her shoulders lightly, but I still didn't say anything.

"We wanted to celebrate your birthday, Kokone-chan. We're so thankful you were born!" Kazuha chimed like a bell as she stepped forward on behalf of everyone else.

"Uh…I'm glad you were born too?" I responded awkwardly.

"Seriously though. You should know how much you affect our lives. If it weren't for you…well, who knows? I could still be Edogawa Conan right about now," Shinichi said jokingly. Ran sort of frowned and elbowed him slightly. "I-I would have _told _you, of course…"

"I could be dead, right now. Shot and dead – BOOM. Just like that," Heiji added with emphasis. I gave him a dull look.

"I would still be in Tokyo, living in an unfit household for Zumi-chan and I. Ne, Zumi-chan?" Kazuko asked, stepping forward to pry the child off of my legs.

"Hai!" Kazumi responded cutely.

"I probably never would have considered forgiving Shinichi if it weren't for you." Ran smiled gratefully as she said this, and now it was Kudo's turn to scowl.

"Considered?" He asked.

"Happy birthday, Kokone-chan. You deserve it." Kazuha was standing with her hands clasped in front of her now, almost as if she were pleading with me. To my horror, she started to tear up. "I have to hug you."

"U-Uh no no, that's quite alright -" I protested politely, but when I tried to back up there was nowhere to go but smack into Ichiro. Kazuha was walking towards me regardless, and reached forward to hug me tightly, rocking us back and forth with elation. I sighed and did my best to return the hug while everyone watched and exchanged smiles. I heard a sniffle in my ear.

"Uhm…Kazuha…?" I asked, pulling away to look at her face. Yep. Definitely crying. "Aw, come on, Kazuha. Quit your crying, there's nothing sad about today. Ne?"

"Right, right…it's just -" she scrubbed one of her eyes impatiently as she tried to smile through her tears. "I'm just so glad. And I can't believe I used to be jealous of you -"

"I know, I know," I said, trying to save us both the embarrassment of having that conversation. Plus, I had already heard this before, hadn't I? She blinked, clearly confused.

"You…knew I was jealous of you?"

"Wow, someone's got an ego," Heiji jeered. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Don't even start with whose ego is bigger than whose, Heiji."

"But Kokone-chan! How did you know?" Kazuha interrupted.

"Uh…you told me? I think…" Kazuha gasped.

"What? Did you not tell me? Or was I imagining it…" I thought back. Where had I heard these words before?

"That was so long ago…and I didn't think you were…" That's when it clicked. Startled by this connection, I stepped back and ran into Ichiro, who didn't appear to be bothered by this.

"Oh!" I muttered quietly. "I was…that's when I was in the hospital, wasn't it?"

"Woah, you actually _heard _her?" Heiji asked in astonishment. Then he got a little embarrassed for some reason. "…What else did you hear?"

"My mom. And you two. I heard you two a lot…fighting, mostly. It was pretty loud form what I remember. Let's see…something about flowers…"

"Ah, yes yes! Heiji told me that I shouldn't have bought tulips or roses because your favorite flowers are daffodils. Ne, Heiji?"

"…What, you think I keep track of all our arguments?" He grumbled. Kazuha rolled her eyes, then wiped them and hugged me again.

"Ka – zzzz -"

"Oh! Sorry…" She released her death grip and took a step back. "My point is…I am glad that we're such close friends, Kokone-chan. I realized that I shouldn't have been jealous of you, because I was _lucky _to even know you."

"Kazuha…" I mumbled, surprised by her touching words.

"…Okay then, shall we move on to the happy part? Come on, we have presents for you!" Heiji exclaimed, clapping a hand on Kazuha's shoulder and then mine. Always the sensitive one, he is.

"Let's see, let's see…ah! This one's from...Kudo. Well what are you going to do, stand there all day? Come on, sit down over here and open it!" he urged as I stared at the foreign object in his hand. It was in the shape of a rectangular prism, and was wrapped in royal blue tissue paper. When I didn't really move, Ichiro nudged me gently forward to get me going and followed me to the couch, where he sat next to me. Everyone gathered around on either the opposite couch or just…around. I ignored the creepy feeling of claustrophobia and focused on the gift presented in my lap.

I made a small tear with my fingernail and then proceeded to remove the rest of the paper carefully. And underneath…

Was a book.

"…I told you this was a stupid gift, Shinichi…" Ran grumbled from off to the side.

"No, it's great. One of the older editions of a Sherlock Holmes book." I had to snicker to myself. Of _course_ it would be Sherlock Holmes.

"It's one of my favorites," Kudo said, and I could hear the bragging in his voice that was probably directed towards Ran.

"Thanks. I'm glad I have time to read it." I smiled up at him nicely and then backtracked.

…I have time to read it. Oh crap. I was supposed to go get my job back. Or at least _try _anyway…

"Eonnie? Will you open mine and Kazumi's next?" Kazuko interrupted my train of thought as she placed what appeared to be a thinner version of Kudo's gift.

"Hmmm," I hummed thoughtfully as I began to rip the paper off. "Ah! I _love _this drama. Thank you!" I reached forward and pinched one of Kazumi's round, youthful cheeks. She grinned and giggled at me, and I couldn't help smiling back and poking her nose.

"Open ours next, Kokone-chan!" Kazuha said with elation as she handed over a small box wrapped in pink that was labeled _from Ran and Kazuha_. I inwardly cringed. Small box could only mean one thing…

Jewelry.

I reluctantly slipped the top off of the box, and stared down, trying to comprehend. It was just…a ring. A practical, gold ring that could easily be a man's wedding ring, only smaller. I cautiously lifted it out of the box to get a closer look.

"What -" I started, trying to find words. "It's so simple…"

"Ah, well, we knew you don't like flashy things…but did you see the inside?"

I tilted the ring slightly to get a look at the inside. Everyone was leaning in to get a good look too. I gasped lightly when I realized what it was.

The inscription read: _Courage, Wisdom, Power, Beauty_.

And it was in _Korean._

"Omo…how did you -"

"We found a translator," Kazuha hinted as she nodded towards Ichiro. When I turned my attention to him so suddenly, he blushed just a tiny bit and reached up to mess with the knot of his tie.

"What?" he asked uncomfortably.

"I…thanks, guys. I really mean it. This is great," I slipped the ring on my right middle finger; it fit easily enough.

"And now Ichiro's present, neeee?" Heiji prodded, raising his eyebrows suggestively. Ichiro didn't hesitate to slam his elbow ever so discreetly into Heiji's arm. "Jeez, you gonna beat _me_ up next?" Ichiro ignored him.

"I'll go get them." He stood up and went through the kitchen, and then we heard him walking up the stairs.

"That ring is great for you, Kokone-chan. I'm glad we had this idea," Ran said sweetly, taking my hand to examine it closely.

"Yeah, thanks a lot," I said with appreciation.

"So, I suppose you've noticed," Heiji plopped down right next to me, a peculiarly suspicious look on his face. That couldn't be good. "That you haven't received a gift from me yet."

"Uhm, actually -"

"No worries, you'll get it. I want it to be last. And plus, I have to make a few, er…last minute arrangements." He laughed nervously and shifted to retrieve his phone from his pocket, pushing a few buttons to check something.

"…That makes me nervous, Heiji. What did you do?" I could only assume the worst from him, so it seemed. Before he could answer me though, Ichiro came in with an absolutely _humongous_ bouquet – if you could call it that – of flowers. Everyone gasped and murmured with delight. Ichiro watched me from the kitchen entryway, waiting for me to do something. I got up, and with a hand over my fluttering heart, approached the explosion of color.

Daffodils. _Plenty _of yellow daffodils. There were also white heathers mixed in all around. The yellow and white stood off of each other and seemed to glow right before my very eyes.

As this has happened many times before, the color scheme wouldn't seem to work. You'd have to see it to believe that it was truly beautiful. How he was able to get his hands on these flowers, especially in winter, was beyond me. I wondered distantly where his hands were underneath this large bushel he was holding.

"Chiro…" was all I could say. I breathed in deep, letting the scent of fresh flowers flood my senses. Everything seemed to be at peace at that moment.

"Aw come on, you can't tell me that _flowers _are better than all these gifts," Heiji butted in. Kazuha reprimanded him before I got the chance to.

Yellow daffodils: the sun is always shining when I'm with you.

White heathers: protection.

Maybe he didn't mean for me to decode this, but if he had, I would have responded with a simple campanula:

Gratitude.

* * *

><p>"Let me help with the dishes, Ichiro-san," Ran offered generously as she stood up and grabbed my empty plate as well as Shinichi's. The cake was alright, I supposed. The only problem was my chance of upchucking later on in the evening was significantly higher than it could have been.<p>

"Ah, thanks," he replied easily as he filled the sink with soapy water. At this point, my curiosity was starting to get the better of me.

"Heiji?"

"Hm?" His voice came out muffled because of the cake he was currently shoving in his mouth. What was that, his third piece?

"It's starting to bother me. Your gift, I mean." At this, he looked up at me with a mischievous grin.

"Just you wait. As soon as I get the word, I'll let you know."

"Word for what?" I asked impatiently. He was having fun with this, too much it seemed.

"You'll see…" he sang triumphantly as he got up to put his dirty plate in the sink. I groaned. Just at that moment though, I heard his phone ring, and I nearly jumped forward to retrieve it from his pocket in my anticipation.

"Ah le? Here he is now. Hello? Ah, how's it goin'?" He glanced at me and wiggled his eyebrows, suggesting that he was trying to make this conversation as long and as subtle as possible. I scowled. "You mean it? Wowww, thanks so much. I know she'll appreciate it. Yes, I'll make sure to let her know the requirements. No worries! Thanks again." He hung up and then took up a proud stance.

"…Well? Who was that?" I demanded.

"You're gonna love this." He seemed so giddy about it, I was about to explode. What was it exactly?

"Would you spit it out already? You're making my skin crawl."

"You have to stand up." When I looked at him weird, he came over and grabbed my shoulders, lifting me onto my feet so that I was standing directly in front of him.

"What are you -"

"I got you your job back. You have to go in and talk to a therapist to be deemed…I dunno, not mentally _insane_, but nonetheless." He paused and took a deep, resounding breath here. "I got you. Your job back. Happy birthday."

I couldn't speak. Couldn't even breathe. I just stared at him, completely and utterly dumbfounded. What language were we speaking again? Did I even hear him correctly in the first place?

"…You could say something, you know." It was only then that I realized that everyone was waiting for my reaction, as if everyone had been frozen in time itself.

"My…my job?" I muttered pathetically. Were those the right words?

"Yep. Your _job_." He said these words slowly, as if he were trying to communicate with a 2 year old. I started to laugh. Clearly, this wasn't the reaction he was expecting, but he was still smiling.

"What? What's so funny?" I covered my mouth to try to contain myself, but at that moment it proved to be impossible.

"Oh my _God._ I can't believe you!" I reached up and socked him in the shoulder somewhat playfully, but honestly I was just trying to check to see if I was dreaming or not. Then again, did it work when the person you were hurting in the dream wasn't yourself?

"Ow! Why are you hitting me?" He cried, though he continued to grin that egotistical grin of his.

"Heiji…" I tried to find the words to explain myself, but stopped short. So instead, I settled for starting to squeal and jump up and down as I laughed and laughed at this absurdity. Everyone watched with amusement, some even started to outright chuckle at me. Kazumi was thoroughly enjoying this sight, at least.

"I can't even tell you how much I _love _you right now! You're like the big brother I never had!" I said with an explosion of excitement as I leaped forward to hug him. People started to cheer along with me, but then Heiji's cell phone started to ring again. Curiously, he lifted it up and wrinkled his eyebrows.

"Huh. Weird. Hello?" I watched him with observant eyes, ready for his expression to fall as yet another thing was stolen right out from under my suspended body. I was so used to it by now – bad news coming repeatedly, almost as if it knew when I was happiest and wanted to smite me because of it.

"Oh. Yeah, no problem, I'll be right there. Sorry guys, I have to go. Somethin's goin' on at headquarters." He turned around to give Kazuha a quick peck on the cheek, grabbing his jacket that hung off of one of the chairs. "I'll be home later tonight. Happy birthday, Kone-chan! I'll let you know when you can go in to get those requirements over with." He winked at me and smiled as he went.

I sat down for a minute and took a deep breath. My heart was aching and hammering in my chest, all in anticipation for that one thing to be shattered right before my eyes, just as everything else had been. All I could think was something along the lines of _thank all that is holy in this world for the police force._

"Isn't this great, Kokone-chan? Are you excited?" Kazuha asked hopefully.

"Y-Yeah…excited," I mumbled.


	31. Chapter 31: Can I see it?

If he hadn't of walked in at that moment, I never would have remembered his existence, which instantly made me feel like a horrible person. He came bounding toward me, his tongue hanging precariously out of his mouth as he discovered my presence. I had also forgotten that he never really was one for crowds.

"Judo!" I said, encouraging him to come over to me. He happily trotted forward and licked my outstretched hand. "I've missed you, buddy."

"He's been pretty quiet lately," Ichiro commented from his position at the fridge, where he was storing leftover cake. Everyone had left already, and just as I was about to, I sat myself down again. Not yet, I thought. For some reason I had to stay. "Maybe he misses you."

"Do you miss me?" I cooed as I scratched behind Judo's ears.

"Huh?" Ichiro jumped, knocking his head on the top of his refrigerator where he had been leaned over as he was rearranging things.

"I was talking to the dog," I explained awkwardly. _Cue uncomfortable silence_, I thought.

"…Oh. Well," he shut the refrigerator and walked over to the sink to refold the lone dishtowel. "I do. For the record." I swallowed hard, not really sure how to respond.

"I miss myself too," I finally mumbled, focusing hard on Judo's contended face as he nuzzled it into my hand. He whined slightly, and actually became slightly more aware when my heart thumped offbeat for a second or two.

"So was the party everything you expected and more?" He asked sarcastically. I could hear the grin in his voice.

"You know, it actually wasn't that bad. It kind of freaked me out at first, but…I forgot how great they all were. It's actually kind of humiliating."

"That's not your fault," he assured me easily, taking the seat across from me. "They understand. Or, they're trying to at least. That's what friends are supposed to do. Hm?" I smiled tiredly and nodded, then yawned.

"What time is it?" I wondered aloud as I glanced at the clock. Almost 9. Eh, not too late. "I feel like such a wimp, wanting to go to bed at 9." Ichiro chuckled lightly.

"That's not an unreasonable bedtime. Should I walk you home?" He was about to stand up, but I shook my head.

"Nah. I'd like to stay a bit longer. I-If that's alright, I mean…it's been awhile."

"I guess it has. Stay as long as you like."

"Thanks."

"So I bet you're really glad Hattori got you your job back, ah?" He extended his arm to pet Judo's back.

"I am…Except…"

"Except?"

"You know how I have to be tested for insanity first?"

"You're afraid you won't pass," he assumed. He was right, as always.

"More or less. Am I insane?"

"I think a better question would be 'how are you _not_ insane?'." I laughed.

"Well spoken." He smiled kindly at me.

"In any case, you're fine. Things can only look up from here."

"So you're saying everything will be fine." He smile faltered when I said this in a semi-accusatory tone. I still kind of had a grudge against his assumption that everything would turn out fine before, well, everything didn't.

"…I'm saying…" he chose his next words carefully. "That if you make conscious and decent decisions, thing won't get any worse. And I mean honestly, _can _they? I don't mean to be rude, but you basically just went through a tsunami of shit." I covered my mouth to try to hold in my surprised laughter. It had been a while since I had heard him cuss so openly.

"Ne, Ichiro."

"Hm?"

"You were going to propose to me." This statement hung in the air for an overextended minute as he searched my eyes, gauging how he should respond.

"…I was." I nodded as I attempted to accept this fact. So he had been the one to set my mother off, which kind of indirectly caused this whole Hyo Yeoung thing to go down…but could I really blame him like that? It just didn't seem fair in the light of day anymore.

"Do you…do you still have the ring? By any chance?" Something inside me quivered as I asked this question, though it was more out of fear than anything else.

"I do."

"Can I see it?" He inhaled fully and then placed his palms on the table to hoist himself up, a trace of hurt flashing across his face in the process. Maybe it was because he was about to go retrieve the thing that had caused this entire mess. He disappeared to the second floor for a few minutes and came back with a tiny black box, just like you always see in the movies or on TV. After he took his seat again, he slid the box over to me slowly. I stared at it for a moment before deciding that it was either now or never.

The box felt heavy and melancholy in my hands, if that was even possible. I lifted the lid and peaked inside, biting my lip as I confirmed the presence of an actual ring.

It was simple and beautiful; nothing like the gaudy thing Hyo Yeoung's uncle had generously paid for as concession for my mother. The small diamond was embedded into the gold band. That's all there was to it. My heart burned slightly.

I placed the box back down on the table, waiting for something to happen. What, I had no idea.

"Do you like it?" he asked cautiously.

"I do. You know me so well." I sighed and rubbed my forehead. "What happened to us, Ichiro?"

"Like I said: tsunami of shit." I giggled despite myself.

"Well I know _that _much. But it just seems like…things are so different."

"Because they are. You're different. I may have changed a little too maybe."

"What's different about me?" He looked up to the ceiling as he attempted to retrieve an answer.

"Hmm…you're not as scary." I playfully smacked his forearm as it rested on the table. "What! I'm being honest here. I expected you to pound that guy into a pulp when I found out what he did, but you didn't do anything. I suppose a more _accurate_ assessment would be that you're not as…fiery. And you're also…skittish?"

"I guess that makes sense."

"What about me? Anything drastically different?" He asked, slightly amused.

"Hmmm…" I hummed thoughtfully. "Well you got into a fight, didn't you? That's certainly different…"

"Oh come on, is everyone going to pick on me for the rest of my life just because of that?"

"It's just too easy!" I admitted. He smiled at me as we exchanged a few laughs, and then it was quiet again.

"Kokone…" he said suddenly, his probing eyes nervous. "I -"

He was rudely interrupted by the shrill ring of the telephone off to the side. His head snapped to its general direction, frustration clouding his features. I watched him as he got up to answer it.

"Hello? Ah, Hattori. What's up, did you leave something here?" He turned to face me, his eyes resting on my face as if we were having a silent conversation. Somehow though, I didn't find it uncomfortable for him to be staring at me at all. "Oh? You want to talk to Kokone?" He raised a curious eyebrow and stepped forward. "Sure thing, she's right here." I reached forward cautiously to take the phone, suddenly feeling that sudden threat again; was he about to tell me to call it quits, it wasn't going to work out with the job after all? My heart rate quickened as I pressed the phone to my ear and shakily asked:

"H-Hello?"

"Koooone-chan!" Heiji greeted. He sounded happy…but there was that underlying tone that spoke his true feelings of apprehension hidden underneath.

"…Yes?"

"Ah…well, you see…how can I say this…"

"What is it?" I asked, trying to hurry him along. The sooner I knew the better…right?

"Uhm…"

"Would you please -"

"Okay okay! Uh, well…your ex-husband is drunk. And in jail. He got into a bar fight, and my partner called me because everyone else was farther away at the time…" His words came out in a rush, flooding my ears with what I interpreted to be nonsense. My ex-husband? Who?

Ohhhh, I thought once it clicked. That's right, I had been legally married just a little over a week ago. Had been.

Then I reevaluated: oh. _Oh._

"He's in _jail?_" I asked, my voice rising.

"Yeah. I was calling to see if you'd maybe bail him out. He's in pretty bad shape, I'd have to say…I mean, we can keep him over night I guess, but it seems kind of unnecessary to keep him in _jail_ -"

"No, no. I'll come get him." I sighed heavily and closed my eyes. Something like this was bound to happen with Hyo Yeoung, I thought. He never took bad emotional news well.

"You sure? I could try calling his uncle again…"

"You already called him?"

"Yeah, but he refuses to even talk to him. You're his last hope, if you will."

"…Alright. I'll be there soon." I hung up the phone and started to get up.

"Hey, can you take me to the police station?" I asked hopefully, already feeling bad for asking so much of him. Ichiro looked mildly confused, but he didn't hesitate to grab his keys.

"Sure. What's going on?" He asked.

"…I'm not entirely sure, but Hyo Yeoung's in jail." Ichiro froze as soon as the name fled from my lips, his body language rigid and cold like that of ice.

At that point, I could have stripped myself naked and started walking on my hands for all he cared; he wasn't paying any attention. It was awkwardly silent for a few exhaustingly long minutes as I waited for him to respond. I didn't want to push him into doing something he definitely didn't want to do…

"Uhm," I finally said. "I can take a bus there instead -"

"No. No, I'll take you. Come on."

It was uncomfortably quiet when as we drove the darkening streets to the police station. I distantly wondered why Heiji was handling this case since he was with the homicide department, but decided that that probably wasn't the most important thing to think about.

Ichiro was broodingly quiet as we got out of the car and walked inside. He held the door open for me without a word, and we both spotted Heiji before we were all the way inside.

"Hey," he greeted us seriously. His face was fixed into a look of slight annoyance mixed with stern authority. His sleeves were rolled up to the elbows, and he looked so much like an actual, adult police officer that I stood there for a second to look him over once again. "…why are you looking at me like that?"

"N-No reason," I said as smoothly as possible.

"…Alright. Hyo Yeoung's in this cell over here. You sure you want to see him?" He was asking me, but I could tell the question wasn't questioning _my_ capability of handling myself. Ichiro shifted pensively behind me.

"I don't necessarily _want _to," I answered honestly. "But I probably should, regardless."

Heiji hesitated, but then led us down the hall and past the main information desk. There was one rather large cell at the end of it, supposedly where all the "temporary" criminals were kept. A few guys were hanging around, not really seeming to care where they were. Hyo Yeoung on the other hand was making quite a ruckus.

"…And _that's_ why you should let me outta here," he slurred as his arms dangled from where he was leaned against the bars. Yep, definitely drunk.

"Oh for God's sakes, Hyo Yeoung-ah. Why do you drink?" I scolded him, suddenly strengthened by the fact that he was behind bars. Interesting.

"Oh, if it isn't my -hiccup- lovvvvvely wife…" he drawled messily as he looked me over once. Twice. Three times. "Did you get all dressed up jusssta see me?"

"…Ex-wife," I corrected. "Do you want to go home or not?" I had my hands on my hips as I loomed over him. How pathetic. How had I ever been married to this guy? He was never like this before, it seemed.

"Woah, someone's movin' a little fast tonight, ahhh?" he teased, then laughed for at least thirty seconds in a lazy manner. "Well, look who's finally coming around to the idea." I thought I heard Ichiro growl next to me. I wasn't exactly pleased to hear this either.

"You are _so_ drunk," I fumed. "If you weren't, you'd easily be able to notice that I had no intentions of_ ever_ sleeping with the likes of you."

"Ouch. So feisty. I miss that." He looked up at me now, and I was surprised to actually see a genuine sadness in his eyes. There was evidence of exhaustion under his eyes and he appeared as if he hadn't showered in at least a few days. The biggest flaw of all was his swollen, previously broken nose. I winced as I thought of how much that probably had hurt. "I miss you."

"I'm going to ask you again. Do you want out, or don't you?" I said, softening ever so slightly.

"What kinda question is that? I need get _outta _here!" He tilted his head back to the ceiling and started to moan random syllables that were so slurred together, I had absolutely no idea what he was saying. My Japanese was only reasonable if it was spoken clearly, ever since I was hit over the head with the barrel of Gin's gun a few years back. Even now, I still had some trouble.

"What did he say? Can you understand -" I turned around to ask Ichiro, and halted my speech when I saw the most hostile glare that was ever emitted from those normally kind, emerald eyes of his. "Ichiro…What did he say?"

"…Something about him needing to sleep with you. He thinks that's why you're here to get him."

"Oi, you know what Hyo Yeoung?" I started as soon as the words left Ichiro's mouth. Hyo Yeoung dropped his head back into a somewhat forward position so that he could effectively communicate to some extent. "I'm not bailing you out until you give me a legitimate reason and apology for what you did. Oh, and you have to be sober. He can stay overnight, right Heiji?" Heiji lifted his eyebrows slightly at my sudden declaration, but nodded, not entirely surprised.

"Yeah, no problem."

"Good. Come on, Chiro." I huffed triumphantly as I stalked out, not bothering to turn around and see if he would follow. When I reached his car outside though, he unlocked the door and opened it for me without a single word, but with a smug look playing across his features.

I sighed once we were both in the car. He hadn't started it yet.

"Can we go back to your house?" I asked timidly as I looked out the window. Then I yawned. It wasn't that late, was it?

"Sure. If you want." We drove in silent for the first few minutes as I tried to focus on the dark, tree-like objects on the sides of the roads. Maybe they weren't even trees, I was just assuming. My eyelids got heavier with every blink.

"Kokone?" He asked quietly.

"Hmm?" I hummed lazily, feeling my eyes close for longer than a normal blink was by anyone's standards.

"…Was he always like that with you?" This question kind of brought me back to high alert, if only for a split second.

"N-No. He was…he was drunk sometimes. Not that often. And even if he was pushy, he was never that…suggestive."

"Pushy?"

"He wanted kids. I didn't. Plus, I don't think he understood how impossible it would have been in the first place, so it's not necessarily his fault." Each word I said got quieter and quieter as I felt a haze wash over my system, slowly but surely.

"I see. Does that mean…"

"I never…slept with…" My breathing was becoming even and deeper with ever inhale and exhale. I was losing the fight against sleep, and fast.

"…Good," he approved, seeming to understand what I was trying to say. He didn't even really sound all that surprised though, which struck me as odd. "Good."


	32. Chapter 32: Hot

_Ogawa Ichiro's POV:_

"…So are you spending the night here or…?" I asked as I unbuckled my seat belt and got ready to open the car door. She didn't respond though, so I turned back to look at her curiously.

She was sound asleep, her head leaning against the glass of the window next to her. I could have sworn I was just talking to her…

"Kokone? Kone-chan?" I was increasingly realizing that I didn't want to wake her up, and silently hoped she wouldn't respond. When she didn't for a good 15 seconds, I decided it would be best to get out of the car and take her inside.

She made a few small noises as I carried into my house and up the stairs to my room. Over the past couple of years I had at one point invested in a nicer, bigger bed since my parents moved out. In fact, there were quite a few different things about this house, such as the addition of Kokone's father's piano, though I didn't ask _or_ pay for that. I secretly played it at times though, when things got bad at work.

As gently as possible, I folded the covers back and placed her on the left side of my bed, carefully tucking the blankets around her afterwards. Her hair was sprawled out in a mass of loose curls on the pillow and her chest rose and fell steadily with every breath. I could have watched her all night long, as creepy as it sounded, but she was so _wonderful _just to look at.

I sighed and grabbed the other pillow as I started to head downstairs for the couch. At one time, we had been in that bed together. After the fact, I had had a massive panic attack of sorts and came to the conclusion that I couldn't handle it anymore as I furiously packed all of my clothes and more personal belongings into two suitcases. All in all, it was one hell of a night, which could be interpreted two different ways because of…well. Kokone.

"Chiro…" Kokone murmured, causing me to jump and whirl back around. I was already flushing considerably – was she dreaming about me?

"Chiro, come back." Her eyes were closed, but she patted the bed lazily for emphasis. Maybe she wasn't completely asleep, I thought.

"W-What?" I asked, checking to see if she would even respond logically.

"I said come back." Oh. Definitely awake. Somewhat…

I made my way back to the other side of the bed to get a better look. Her eyes were still closed.

"What is it?" I whispered.

"Stay here with me," she almost whined. "I'm not used to sleeping alone."

Argh, this again, huh? I've _literally_ slept with her more times than I've _metaphorically_ slept with her.

"…Alright," I obliged anyway as I carefully set myself on the right side of the bed. I was facing her as I laid there, but she still had her eyes closed.

"Chiro…when did you know you loved me?" She sounded exhausted, and yet she was still able to ask me this question. My mind drew a blank – would she even remember if I told her the truth?

"I'm not entirely sure…" I answered, because I honestly wasn't. Sure, I had a hunch, but I had been so young then…there was no way I could have known.

"It must have taken awhile," she breathed, curling into herself slightly.

"I don't think it did. Why do you say that?"

"I'm a hard person to love. I currently hate myself right now, actually." I didn't say anything, for I had a lack of words to conjure up a logical question with.

"I thought I loved you when you sent me those flowers. I was in Tokyo, it was after that big fight at the airport. But it felt like I loved you before that, so I didn't really recognize it."

She _thought _she loved me? What was _that_ supposed to mean?

"But then that one night. It was the same day my dad died, only ten years later. After all that shit happened with Gin and the court…I never thanked you for stopping that guy in the hallway. And then later…" she paused to yawn here. "You made me dance with you in your kitchen." She smiled sleepily as she recalled this, and I had never seen her face so at peace before.

But I remembered that kiss. It had been a particularly sweet one, made even more so by the fact that we had been carelessly swaying around the room to the time of a slow song on the radio. Judo had been much younger then, and he had been dancing around on his little paws with us. Everything was fine then, so it seemed.

"I kissed you," I said, remembering.

"You kissed me," she smiled wider and sighed happily. "And I had never felt that way before. I knew I loved you then. More than anything." I couldn't resist reaching up to stroke her angled, perfectly shaped cheek.

"That makes me sound like a complete drama queen," she muttered while still smiling slightly.

"Not if it's true."

"I'm sorry I hurt you," she was falling deeper into sleep by the second.

"It's alright," I answered softly.

"It's not. I feel terrible about it. And now I have nothing left because of one _stupid _mistake."

"That's not true."

"Don't let me do anything stupid anymore, okay?" She whispered almost inaudibly.

"Okay. Why don't you go to sleep?"

"Promise you won't."

"I promise. Now try to sleep." I smoothed the slightly concerned wrinkles on her forehead with my thumb.

"Promise you won't leave." I didn't know if she meant leave the country or the bed, but I figured it didn't matter.

"I promise."

"Don't break your promise this time."

"I won't. Get some sleep."

"Hmm…" she sighed as she settled into the pillow. Her breathing evened out after a minute or two when she finally began to sleep once again.

Beautiful. Stunning. Breathtaking. Who would have thought that anyone could quite literally turn my mind into mush without any effort at all? Somewhere inside I knew I was still mad at her for marrying Hyo Yeoung, but I couldn't seem to locate that feeling while I was actually in her presence. In America, it had been easy to hate her, most likely because of distance. Here, however, even when she was so vulnerable…

She was such a heart breaker.

I brushed a lock of hair off of her forehead, but decided not to push the boundaries any farther and closed my eyes, and even then she was all I could see.

* * *

><p><em>Something about dancing cinnamon rolls…wait a minute, what?<em>

My eyes snapped open as I recalled my current location. Laying in front of me, just as she had been the night before was Kokone, who was curled up with one fist in front of her face on the pillow. Her bare shoulders were enough to send me into a fit.

…So I promptly fell off of the bed.

What did we do? What happened? I was still clothed, wasn't I? I actually had to check to make sure. My tie was still in a loosened knot around my collar though, plus my pants were still on, so everything seemed fine with me…

Oh. She had been wearing a dress.

Sure enough, when I poked my head over the surface of the bed, I noticed the white fabric bunched up into a knot around her neck, partially hidden by her hair. A halter dress. Of all the things to wear…

She didn't stir the whole time my gears were busy turning in my brain. I got back onto the bed and watched her in silence for a few minutes.

Her eyelashes swept over the area beneath her eyelids majestically while her accentuated cheekbones begged me to kiss them. Her jaw line was equally as inviting, all the way down to her neck, her shoulders, her –

Stop right there, I told myself. It won't do you any good.

Suddenly, her forehead wrinkled with concern and anxiety, and her fist tightened as her entire arm flexed, showing her trained biceps. She gasped slightly and then whined painfully, her eyes squeezing tighter and tighter. Without even thinking twice about it, I reached over and shook her gently.

"Kokone. Hey, wake up, you're having a nightmare." Her eyes flew open a second later and she sat up fast, sending her hair flying to keep up with her. She was breathing hard, and I swore I could hear her heart beating furiously.

"Oh," she breathed in relief. "Oh, thank God." She placed a hand over her heart and turned to look at me. Before I could register what was happening she got onto her hands and knees and began to crawl towards me hurriedly, reaching out for my tie in the process. Her fist gripped it tight and pulled me forward as she struggled to loosen the knot.

"O-Oi!" I cried, blushing a serious shade of red, or so it felt like. Once she got the knot free she unbuttoned the top few buttons of my shirt in a flash with suspicious expertise.

"Kokone, what -" She yanked the fabric to the left and then sighed with relief. Her gentle fingers found the contours of my scar from surgery those many years ago and traced it for a minute in silence.

"Uhm," I interrupted awkwardly. "Why are you touching my scar…?" It was weird, don't get me wrong, but it also felt strangely nice. Those fingers of hers could ignite any spark in me as soon as they barely grazed my skin.

"I had a dream that I needed a heart transplant. And you gave me yours, but I didn't know until it was…" Jeez, I thought. Should she really be in this whole medical examiner career if she was having dreams this morbid? Here I was dreaming about dancing cinnamon rolls and the like while she was worrying about swapping organs with random people…

"I uh…still have my heart. Heh heh…" I said nervously as I grabbed the hand that was on my chest. Her cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink.

"G-Good. Well then, shall we go back to the police station? See if he sobered up?" Immediately my mood turned sour.

"Yeah, sure," I grumbled, hoisting myself off of the bed as I buttoned my shirt back up.

When we arrived at the police station once again, Heiji was reclined in a chair at the front desk, snoring away. Where was everyone? What time was it?

"Uhm…" Kokone said with uncertainty. "Heiji?" When he didn't respond, she took matters into her own hands by walking right up to the desk and shoving Heiji's feet off of it, causing him to almost fall backwards and out of the chair.

"Oi, oi, oi!" He hollered, clearly not used to waking up this way. "What's the big deal! …Oh. You guys are back. What time is it?" He yawned as he checked his watch, and then his eyes bugged right out of his head.

"CRAP. Kazuha, Kazuha, Kazuha -" he muttered as he shuffled through a bunch of papers on the desk to find his cell phone. "Ah ha! Could you guys hang on while I call Kazuha real quick?" He didn't really wait for an answer as he dialed the number quickly and held the phone to his ear. After maybe half a second, a burst of shouting and cursing split through the air.

Kazuha was just a tad pissed.

"AHOU! WHERE DO YOU GET OFF NOT CALLING? OI, AND WHAT HAPPENED TO COMING HOME LATER? AH? I HAVE HALF A MIND TO MURDER YOU MYSELF SO THAT NO ONE ELSE WILL, HEIJI -" Heiji winced and grimaced painfully as he held the phone away from his ear.

"Uh, this could take a while guys so…you can go ahead and go back there and I'll meet you there in a few minutes." Kokone nodded and started for the back, where the one, large cell was located.

Hyo Yeoung was seated on a bench against the wall in the far corner, his head tilted back against it.

"Ya!" Kokone's yell echoed throughout the hall, causing Hyo Yeoung to jump and fall off of the bench. He got up, rubbing his backside with a pained expression. "Are you ready to explain yourself?" He walked over to the bars and grabbed onto them, which seemed pretty humorous to me, because all in all I knew this guy wasn't _criminal _material…just an ass.

"I think I got into a fight. I was drunk, I don't know. Did you come to bail me out?"

"Jesus, you really don't remember _anything?_ I told you to give me a reasonable explanation for your stupid decisions that caused this divorce, and then_ maybe _I'd consider letting you out!" He blinked, as he was evidently unable to recall this turn of events.

"You just want an explanation? That's it?"

"That's it. It had better be good too." Kokone crossed her arms tightly and her jaw was taught – one of those oh-shit-don't-mess-with-her looks passed over Hyo Yeoung's face.

"Okay, well…" He tugged at the collar of his shirt nervously. "It just kind of happened -"

"I'm tired of hearing you say that. When you kissed Kazuha, _that _just kind of happened. When you _slept _with someone else, _that_ just kind of happened. I suppose you getting drunk and fighting with random strangers just happens as well?"

"Well, no, but – okay, look. We had talked about it before, right? About the whole having kids thing? You even said we would eventually, but that never happened, and I dunno, I felt like it was all _my _fault because I wasn't -" he glanced up at me unconsciously now, then shifted his gaze away quickly.

"That's it? Because I wouldn't _sleep _with you? _ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?_" Kokone stepped forward and grasped Hyo Yeoung's collar through the bars, hoisting him up. The look on his face was absolutely priceless, but I was too focused on the fact that this Kokone – the one that harbored violence when provoked – was starting to shine through again.

"Do you even _know_ what you did to me? You, sleeping with that stupid _whore_ that told me I couldn't associate myself with Ichiro anymore? It nearly _killed _me, and not because I loved you or any stupid shit like that, but because I was _supposed_ to love you, and you were _supposed _to love me. I thought you were getting better. You were trying to take _care _of me that night, and then I walk in and see you -" She let go of him suddenly and took a step back to wipe at her face, presumably her eyes, though I couldn't really see because she wasn't facing me. "It felt like I was being stabbed. I felt _worthless._"

"Quit being so dramatic, you don't even know what being stabbed feels like!" Hyo Yeoung protested, if only to defend himself. Uh oh, I thought. Shit's about to go down.

"Oh. My God. Did you just say that? Did you _really? _Just say that? You don't know anything about me, do you?"

"I know plenty about you – too much, I would assume!"

"Then you should know that I was stabbed in the chest when I was 8 years old _and_ that I watched my father die _while_ that was happening, so pardon me for being _dramatic_, but I'd have to say that I'm a pretty credible source when it comes to what being stabbed feels like. And you know what? I'd much rather have been actually stabbed, because then I would have been able to at least maintain _some _sort of self-respect!" Hyo Yeoung gaped openly; this was apparently news to him.

"I don't know why I came here. Hopefully your uncle forgives you faster than I ever will, because he appears to be your only hope if he doesn't move back to Korea."

"No! Wait! Kokone, come on, isn't this what you wanted? To be with _him_ instead of me? You and I both know your mother needed a legitimate reason to terminate this marriage."

"Don't _even_ try to use that excuse. You're the bad kind of impulsive, and I don't have the patience to deal with it. If you ever cross my path again -" she wagged a threatening finger in his face, leaving this statement to hang in the air. From anyone else, that would probably be pretty stale as far as threats go, but from Kokone…well, let's just say an uncertain threat from her was worse than a certain one; the possibilities of what she could do were always endless.

"Oh, and by the way, I am _hot._ If you're going to cheat on someone, at least cheat with a girl that's _hotter_ so that that someone can at least be able to place the blame on an appropriate reason." I resisted the urge to laugh and agree openly since she was being so serious about it.

"Also, not that it matters now, but I slept with Ichiro the night before our wedding. Good luck staying out of jail, asshole. Let's go, Ichiro."

Needless to say, I almost collapsed. I sputtered a few senseless words, unable to comprehend what she had just said as Hyo Yeoung's jaw dropped to the floor, his eyes wider than saucers. Kokone grabbed me by the arm defiantly and pulled me along. Crap, how long had Heiji been there? Judging by the look he had on his face, he had at least heard the last statement Kokone had made.

"…You _what?_" He cried, exasperated.

"See you later, Heiji. Call me with the details on that interview for work, okay?" Kokone said this like she hadn't just let one of our biggest secrets out into the open air for people to scrutinize, namely, people that mattered.

Like Heiji, who would inevitably tell Kazuha, who would tell Ran, Shinichi, and God knows who else…

I was still trying to form coherent speech as Kokone yanked me out of the building and to the car, where she stopped us both and whipped herself around to face me.

"What did you – why did – how – what's – I don't - !"

"Would you calm down? What, did you think no one was going to find out?"

"…Uhm. YES?"

"Well I apologize for that, but…I had to do it. Let's go get something to eat." I felt like I had just been punched in the stomach.

"Ichiro? Come on, you're not mad, are you?" She asked hopefully from where she was standing now, next to her open car door. I wasn't mad, of course. I had no right to be, really. But…that was all so sudden. She could have at least _warned _me.

Still…that was a pretty awesome performance. It had been quite a long time since I had seen a Kokone vs. Inevitable Loser showdown.

"Kokone." She was looking at me, concern in her still slightly angry eyes. This argument had brought her back to life it seemed. This was the Kokone I had missed.

"What?" Well, here goes. I either die now or…don't.

"…You are _so _hot." To my surprise, she snorted and smirked playfully.

"Shut up, Mr. Googly Eyes. Let's go, I'm starving."

**AN: Read and review pleaseee~ :D I could really use the inspiration. Also, it's been pretty quiet, so I want to make sure the people that **_**are**_** reading are enjoying this story, because otherwise it seems a little pointless if no one is listening. :[ Sadface…**

**Anyways, thanks to those who are reading! I hope I'm not boring you. :] Baibai~!**


	33. Chapter 33: Set Ablaze

_Kokawa Kokone's POV:_

"You need me to _what?_"

It was maybe 2 in the afternoon, a few hours after Ichiro and I went out for breakfast. Afterwards, I told him I had to go talk to my mom about the whole job thing, since that was what she primarily shoved me out of the house for. She was pretty pissed that I never came home after the fact, but lightened up slightly when I told her about my opportunity.

And so, there I was. Sitting on the couch, in my pajama pants. Waiting for Heiji to call. When he did though, it wasn't about the mental health interview thing at all.

"Come on, we need someone to translate. This woman's going _crazy,_ and we have absolutely no idea what she's saying. Some sort of emergency, I presume…in any case, can you come down here?"

"Heiji, what if she's not even speaking Korean? How do you know?"

"I've been around you long enough that I know the difference between Chinese and Korean, thank you very much," he seethed sarcastically. "Will you do it? I'm at police headquarters now, not the actual station." I sighed tiredly. Not like I was really going to do anything else anyway, I supposed.

"Alright, fine. I'll find a ride."

"_Thank_ you."

"Whatever."

I hurried into some jean shorts, even though it was 40 degrees out, not bothering to change out of my blue tank top as I grabbed my zip-up hoodie and shrugged it on. Ichiro would take me, right? Or at least let me borrow his car…

I knocked on his door in a rush, and he appeared in no time at all.

"Hey, do you work tonight?" I asked, out of breath.

"I have tonight and tomorrow off. What are you wearing?" he asked in disapproval.

"There's no time for that, grab your keys." He stared at me for a second, but then rolled his eyes and did what I asked, muttering something about always giving into my demands.

"Where are we going?" he asked once we were in the car.

"Police headquarters. Apparently some sort of Korean-related emergency." Though he seemed confused, he didn't question me and drove us straight there.

Once we arrived, we rode the elevator up to the homicide floor, where Heiji and said Korean woman going crazy were probably hanging around. When the elevator doors opened, it was all _chaos_. I heard loud, protruding Korean that was accented and sharp through the air over everything else, and what I was overhearing didn't sound so great.

"Heiji?" I called, trying to find the source of the noise through the sea of police officers busy ignoring it.

"Over here! Quick!" I spotted him waving us over from off to the side, and we rushed over, the yelling growing louder the closer we got.

"Oi, oi, calm down! Someone can understand you now, we can help you!" Heiji tried desperately. He looked like he was about to blow a fuse.

"Heiji, go get some coffee or something, you look like hell," I suggested harshly. He gave me a threatening look and held up a half empty cup of coffee, as if to say "way ahead of you." I sneered, but turned to the matter at hand.

The woman was maybe in her mid-30s with her hair tied up in a ratty bun. Her clothing suggested that she was a new mom; there were stains on the shoulders from where she likely had burped her new baby. To top it off, she looked utterly exhausted, but seemed wide awake as she was screaming and yelling something even _I_ couldn't understand.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I hollered over her until she stopped her running mouth. The entire floor was eerily quiet and wary afterwards. They all unfortunately knew who I was, and that wasn't exactly a good thing.

"Jesus Christ, that's the last thing we needed, more yelling -"

"Heiji. You have a translator, so shut up. Ma'am, what's your name?" I asked in Korean. Her eyes lit up as she realized she was finally able to be heard.

"Park Min Ji. I need someone to help, my husband isn't in his right mind, I don't know what to do -"

"Slow down, slow down. Explain to me what's going on, alright? We can only figure this out if you give us as many details as -"

"NO! I need help NOW! My family just moved here to Japan a year ago, and we don't have enough money." Her eyes were rimmed with tears as she recalled this. "My husband wants to burn down our house and claim insurance money. I told him that we couldn't do that, I wouldn't let him, but he kicked me and my baby out of the house and I just _know_ he's going to do something stupid -"

"Wait, wait, wait, _what?_ He wants to _burn your house down?_" She nodded and emitted a choked sob.

"I left my baby with my sister and her family to come tell someone. My husband needs _help_, I don't want to lose my home!" She began to cry now, but I couldn't focus on that.

"Heiji, call the fire department, possibly an ambulance, and get a squad out there. Ma'am where is your house?" She shakily recited the address of which I gave to Heiji.

"Wait, what's going on?" Heiji asked, completely confused.

"There's no time, we have to get out there _now_."

Everything was in motion after that, and my brain was suddenly so alert that I was having trouble keeping up with it, even as my body performed actions that I hadn't thought I implemented in the first place. Ichiro and I offered to drive ourselves there, to lead the way, if you will, and when we arrived…

There was nothing to say. The house wasn't near the town center at all, and was in one of those areas that was currently under development, meaning their house was the only one that was actually built and able to live in. Until now.

Flames were licking the charcoal colored sky as smoke billowed from any open areas of the house. Roof shingles and random pieces of wood fell by the dozen as the house was beginning to crumble to the ground.

"_HYUN SHIK-AH!_" The woman yelled in desperation as she scrambled to get out of Heiji's police car. Ichiro and I followed, but before we got out, he reached into his back seat and grabbed his stethoscope.

Police officers were calling for more fire department reinforcement, as that was all they could do at the moment. No one would dare approach that fire.

"Eotteohgehago, eotteohgehago…" I chanted quietly under my breath. It was too late. Her home would be gone, and her little family would have nothing left, especially after her husband was convicted of arson…

Her husband.

"Park Min Ji-ssi!" I called over all the chatter. It was getting warm, despite the fact that it was in the middle of December. Too much fire, I thought. She turned to me with fear and hopelessness clouding her eyes. "Where's your husband?" Without a word, she raised a tiny, shaky finger and pointed at the burning house.

"Oh my God. Heiji! Heiji, someone has to get in there!" I said shrilly, feeling a panic sweep over me. In the back of my mind, I thought of that baby that was probably gurgling in a crib somewhere far away, not even aware that her father could quite possibly never come home.

"I know, I know! The fire crew is on their way, they're almost here." He had a look of determination on his face that reflected the passionate fire before us. I could always count on Heiji to know what to do, but at this point…

My mind was whirring as it composed multiple ideas. I thought I heard Ichiro talk to me a few times, but I couldn't focus on anything save for those scarring flames. The police were already forming a barricade just in case people decided to show up to watch the performance.

With everyone so busy, I wondered if anyone would even notice my disappearance. Surely Ichiro would, so I would have to find a task for him to take care of.

"Min Ji-ssi, go with my friend to the ambulance over there, okay? Just to make sure everything's okay. This is Dr. Ogawa, he speaks some Korean. Ichiro, will you take her?"

"Uh, sure. Come with me, ma'am." He gently placed a guiding hand on the woman's shoulder and started to lead her to the ambulance, looking back at me every once and a while. As soon as he reached the paramedics that were standing by, I took the opportunity to run for it.

I sprinted around the outside of the ring of parked police cars, praying that there was a back entrance to the house. Lucky enough for me, there was a back door that wasn't up in flames yet. Actually, the back of the house wasn't as charred as the front, which could either be really good or really bad, depending on where the man stuck inside was located. Without hesitation, I hustled up to the door and kicked it down, and was greeted by a massive heat wave that actually blew my hair back. The smoke almost suffocated me right then and there, so I took off my jacket, then took off my tank top and tied it around my mouth and nose to filter most of the smoke out of the air I was breathing in. I figured I could use my jacket to do the same for the man trapped somewhere in this house, if I ever found him.

"Hyun Shik-ah!" I hollered, though it was slightly muffled by my tank top. "Hello? HYUN SHIK-AH!" I glanced through the open downstairs area, hoping and pleading with any higher power that the man wasn't upstairs or something. Who knew what could fall apart if I tried that?

"Can you hear me? CAN ANYONE HEAR ME? HYUN SHIK-AH!" Again, only the loud crackle of fire around me thrummed in my ears. Every once and a while I would glance at the ceiling to make sure nothing was about to drop and quite possibly kill me. The smoke was forming a thick layer above me, and I had to get down low to the ground to keep from passing out. The heat was enough to make me want to drop dead right there; it was as if I were roasting in an oven.

In what appeared to be the dining room, I spotted a body crumpled on the floor near the burning table. Fire roared around him, threatening to eat him alive. I inhaled sharply and felt a pain in my side as I leapt forward to get a better look.

He definitely hadn't been torched to death yet, but it was only a matter of time. The smoke must have caused him to end up in this position, but other than that he seemed okay. Soot colored his face as I rolled him over to get a better look.

I hadn't thought this far ahead, and therefore was not sure how I was supposed to lug this rather large (compared to me at least) guy out of this burning house. I was only so tall, and though I had a substantial amount of muscle mass, that didn't necessarily mean I could accomplish this difficult task.

But I have to at least try. Now…how should I get out? The man moaned suddenly, a low, rumbling sound that vibrated against my hand placed on his chest. I quickly placed my jacket around his mouth and nose so he wouldn't breathe in any more straight smoke.

Out of nowhere, a creaking sound came from right above me, and I looked up just in time to watch as a floorboard from the ceiling came loose and came crashing down, showering sparks and heat all over the place. I ducked while at the same time covering this man's torso, taking the blunt of the blow.

I yelped when the piece of wood smacked me on the back, but was quickly able to gather myself and shove it off before anything near me could catch fire. A way out, a way out, I chanted in my head. I need a way out. Then something caught my eye:

A wall of glass that looked out to the side yard, where there was currently a view of homes in the process of being constructed. That's the only way, I thought as I got up, still hunched over in order to avoid the still building cloud of smoke.

My eyes were stinging and burning just as much as the fire was at this point. As I approached the large, glass window, I figured the only safe thing to use was my body.

With a resounding cry that resembled that of a samurai warrior, I swung around and kicked the glass, which only caused it to crack noticeably. That'll do, I thought to myself as I hurriedly returned to the man.

"Come on, Hyun Shik-ah, just a little bit longer. Work with me here," I grunted as I hoisted him up, supporting him by putting his arm around my shoulders. Struggling and emitting whining noises that were completely out of my control, I finally made it to the window once again, and prepared to ram into it with my shoulder.

Just behind us, where he had previously been laying helplessly while I was trying with everything I had to lift him, the ceiling collapsed even more, and I started to panic. It was only a matter of time before the entire 2nd floor came crumbling down on top of us.

After counting in my head – 1, 2, 3 – I threw myself straight at the crack I had caused in the window and let gravity and momentum do the rest of the work as it pulled both me and Hyun Shik with the broken glass out of the house and onto the lawn a good 5 feet below. Unfortunately, the man landed on top of me and was still out like a light, so I was powerless to get up on my own. I lay there, trying to breathe deeply now since we were no longer encased in smoke, but this was proving to be quite the challenge when a man was crushing my lungs.

My tank top was still tied around my face, though it was now covered in soot, which made me feel sick to my stomach as I thought of how I could have been breathing that all in. Behind us, I heard crashing as the wood of the house finally started to cave in on itself. My ears were ringing endlessly.

"…Can you hear me?" someone was saying. It was only then that I realized the crowd of officers and paramedics had been there nearly the whole time we were laying on the grass. I coughed in response and tried to shake my head to clear it of these wild, smoke-induced thoughts.

"Will someone get him off of me and check on his vitals please?" I said through gritted teeth as I tried to shove him off. Immediately people were set into action, and the weight that was lifted off of me provided so much extra breathing room that I almost considered going to sleep, just so I could have the chance to breathe. Someone decidedly prevented this from happening though as I was lifted to a sitting position.

"Kokone? Kone-chan, open your eyes. Dammit, if you don't right now I'll -"

"Sheesh, calm down," I grumbled as I did what he asked. Ichiro was glaring at me with anger and concern. "I'm fine." He reached up and pulled the tank top away from my face. I coughed and hacked in response.

"…Great. One of these times, you're not going to be so lucky, Kokone. Can you get up?"

"Ichiro, I'm _fine_," I insisted. As if to prove me wrong, my body forced me to cough again.

"Come on, I'll get you checked out. You're going to need oxygen and water."

"What? No, I promise I'm okay."

"I'm the doctor here, and what I say goes," he protested in an extremely authoritative tone that I didn't know he was capable of. He must really be pissed then, I thought. I pushed myself up to a standing position and felt the muscles in my back ache painfully.

"Alright, come over here. Actually…first -" He took off his jacket to reveal a button-up shirt that he proceeded to unbutton and take off right before my eyes. I couldn't help myself, I started to blush.

"Ichiro, what are you -"

"Put this on. I don't like it when people look at you." He shoved the blue fabric of the shirt into my hands and then put his jacket back on so that he wasn't _completely_ shirtless. I flushed deeper and glanced around; sure enough, there were a few officers standing by – male ones, at that – that had nothing better to do at this point but watch me with probing eyes.

I decided I didn't like it when people looked at me either.

After I successfully got the shirt on me, we started to head for the available ambulance. Park Min Ji was crying and scolding her husband, who was currently receiving treatment in the other one. Heiji was waiting next to one of the fire trucks that was starting to put out the fire, and he didn't look pleased in the slightest. When he spotted us, he came stalking over to meet us at the ambulance where Ichiro helped me up so that I could sit on the edge of the opening of the ambulance.

"What the _hell_ were you thinking! There's a reason none of us went in there, Kokone, you could have DIED! What's the matter with you, huh? You've always been so reckless, I don't know where you get off thinking that it's okay -"

"Hattori, I got this," Ichiro interrupted. His voice didn't really suggest that he was defending me though, just that he had the discipline to wait until it was safe to scold me. Heiji stood there steaming for a second, his face somehow red underneath that unreasonably tan skin of his.

"Fine," he muttered through his teeth. "But I have to figure out how I'm going to explain this to your boss, so we _will_ talk later. Impulsive, careless little…" He stomped away to deal with other, more apparent problems.

I sighed and slumped over, honestly glad that I did what I did. Everyone made it seem like I should have regretted my ambition to save this man, but I just didn't see how anyone could honestly think that it was okay to feel bad for trying to preserve a human life.

"Open," Ichiro commanded as he held a small flashlight in front of my face. I opened my mouth and said ah for effect. "Good. You were smart to use your shirt as a filter. Just in case, breathe for me." He put his stethoscope into his ears and unbuttoned the first two buttons of his shirt to place the bell on my chest. I inhaled and exhaled deeply, which caused me to cough. He frowned slightly as he reached around to place the bell on my back this time. I breathed again, this time without coughing, and watched his face as he listened closely. I couldn't help it – I had to smile.

"Look at you, being a doctor – no, a _surgeon._ I never realized how doctorly you are until now," I teased, leaning back onto my hands as he took his stethoscope out of his ears.

"…Don't make me laugh, I'm mad at you," he complained lightly, trying to keep a straight, I-mean-business face.

"Mad at me? What, because I saved a guy's life?" He rolled his eyes.

"At the possible expense of your own? Yes."

"Aw come on, I had to do something. You know, that ceiling collapsed only a few seconds after I got him out of the way. He most certainly would have died if I hadn't gone in there."

"Right, okay, but you _could_ have. And you almost did, by the looks of it." Now it was my turn to glare at the ceiling sarcastically.

"I did not _almost die._ Give me more credit than that."

"You could have."

"But I didn't."

"But – you know what, you're never going to agree, I don't know why I'm bothering to argue with you." I hmphed triumphantly before he continued. "It's just that…" He reached behind me and pulled an oxygen tank out, placing the mask over my face. "You throw your life around like you know you'll always bounce back. You've _always_ done that, and I've never understood why. I mean, for this kind of situation, a human life at stake, that type of thing, okay, I can _kind_ of see why, but…" He looked at me earnestly now, trying to get through to me.

"But sometimes it seems like it's for no reason. And that scares me." My eyebrows furrowed. What was he trying to say?

"For no reason? Are you saying I go looking for dangerous situations?"

"…I was thinking more along the lines of how you _might_ be doing it on purpose." Something about this sounded familiar, so I sat and thought deeply, trying to retrieve this memory.

Someone had said this to me…I remembered feeling angry and violated. But who was it? Who had accused me of purposefully trying to get myself killed?

I had immediately rejected the idea, as I always did when those types of concepts came up. Why couldn't I remember who had said that before?

"Kokone, just promise me you'll be more careful. Please? You made me promise not to let you do anything stupid, does that mean I have to watch you 24/7? Hm? I also promised that I would never leave again, so are you going to try to leave _me _behind instead? Permanently?"

"N-No…I guess not." He snorted for some reason, which forced me to look up at him. Now he was smiling lightly as his thumb smudged something on my cheek. I automatically reached up to feel it as well, and found that soot was apparent on random parts of my face.

"You're such a mess," he commented playfully. I knew he meant that in the way that I most likely looked right now – singed hair, soot covered skin, a baggy button-up shirt with jean shorts – but somehow, this struck me at a deeper level. It went along with the whole purposefully trying to get myself killed thing.

Which begged the question:

Was I suicidal?

AN: Read and revieww~ ^^ I'm sorry I've been slow with updating. I honestly try to write as often as I can, but school is currently kicking my ass, along with life itself haha. Maybe I'm turning into Kokone, hm?


	34. Chapter 34: Here I Am

"Dammit, Heiji. How do you always know where the dead bodies are? I swear to God they just fall out of the sky at your beck and call…" I grumbled to myself after we came across a woman lying cold and dead in the middle of the house that Park Min Ji's baby was staying at. This was supposedly Min Ji's sister's house…so where was everyone? After a certain amount of deliberation, Heiji had that weird feeling of suspicion that apparently no one was supposed to question anymore, now that he was a credible police officer.

Naturally, Ichiro and I had followed along, mostly because I forced him to follow Heiji's car with his despite Heiji's protests. Park Min Ji was going to the hospital with her husband to make sure he got all checked out, yadda yadda. She was supposed to arrive later for questioning and all that jazz. However, it seemed imperative that a group of officers move on to survey the scene, you know, the usual business.

And so, just the same, we found a dead body. So the story goes.

Perhaps I was being particularly insensitive to this case, but overall this death hadn't surprised me. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that everyone there had expected there to be a dead body just waiting for us to find it.

"No one asked you to come…" Heiji replied under his breath, bringing me back to the present situation at hand. "Why are you still here? You're not even wearing proper clothing!"

It was partially true, as I had made do with what Ichiro had given me. He was still…ahem, shirtless, though he was wearing his jacket so it wasn't such a big deal. I, on the other hand, was still wearing his shirt that he had given to me, not quite buttoned up all the way, but tucked into my shorts so I didn't look like a walking tent. I rolled up the sleeves, which made me appear as some sort of ranch hand despite the fact that it was pretty damn cold outside.

"I just came to see, that's all," I reasoned lightly as I stepped forward to survey the crime scene. We were in some sort of miniature library that was adjacent to the entrance. No one had answered the door…so did that mean the baby –

All of a sudden an ear splitting cry pierced the air. A few officers reached up to cover their ears.

"That would be the baby," I sighed, following the sound. I felt people trailing behind me, as if I were already back in position as leader of this investigation. My ego rose ever so slightly as a result.

When I successfully located the room that the baby was in, I started to coo softly in an effort to drown the wailing out. The baby was squirming and punching the air violently in the wooden crib, its face an angry red that suggested it had been crying for quite some time.

"Ahhh, poor baby," I said as I reached in and picked it up. "What's your name, hm? You sure are wearing a lot of yellow…" I gently started to bounce with the baby curled tightly into my arms, forming a cradle. Who would leave a newborn behind like this? The murderer must not have been _all_ that sinister since they ignored the poor kid…

"Well then? Are we looking for the family that's supposed to be here? And what about the mother, have you called her yet?" I turned to the tiny group of officers that had followed me while others had stayed behind. They all stared blankly at me with suspicious eyes.

"Don't just stand there, get going!" I commanded, and they nervously began to move about, as if doubting my authority. I nearly growled at the thought. But for now, I was alone. Just me and that baby that I didn't even know the gender of. I looked down at the baby's pink face that was squished into a grimace as I tried to rock the kid into a standstill. Something must have startled it…but overall the child seemed as healthy as could be.

As far as lungs went, actually, the baby probably had the healthiest set around.

"Shhh, why are you crying now, ah? Someone's going to get your mom and bring her here alright? Just stop crying…" I urged quietly as the baby continued to emit loud bouts of gurgling wails.

"What to do, what to do," I murmured to myself as I shifted the baby so that it was upright next to my shoulder. I felt its hot little cheek against my neck occasionally, and its fists were jolting around in protest of something. On a whim, I did what came naturally, though I only had a slight amount of experience with this from when Kazumi was still very young.

"_Here I am, standing here I am._

_Here I am, not hiding anything._

_All of me is here._

_Here I am, standing here I am._

_Here I am, risking all I am._

_All I have for you._

_All of me is not enough_

_Even if I threw myself away._

_Oh, you never know how much_

_This heart of mine_

_Burns for you._

_You'll never know how much I love you._

_Here I am._"

True, the lyrics to the song were sort of irrelevant to the situation, but somehow they successfully calmed the baby down, reducing the earlier screams to slight hiccups as the child began to rest its head on my shoulder. It was so small and so soft, I instinctively curled it closer to me, feeling a burn in my chest that was not a foreign reaction to positions such as this.

Suddenly, I didn't feel alone anymore. When I turned towards the doorway, there was Ichiro with a grave expression on his slightly pink face. I cracked a witty smile at him.

"Why are you blushing?" This of course only made him flush even more as he tried to quell his reaction.

"Uhm – er…Park Min Ji is here." He shook his head in disbelief, whether towards himself or me I didn't know, before he turned to leave the room. I instinctively followed him back to that extension of the main entrance where the body remained on the floor, cold and lifeless as ever.

"My baby!" Park Min Ji cried out as she bustled past a group of questioning police officers to reach me. She took the baby and nuzzled it with care, whispering Korean prayers.

"Oh, my little Min Ki-ah…"

"Ma'am, we'd like to ask you a few questions -" an officer started to ask. The woman turned to him in confusion, clearly not able to understand.

"A-Ah she…doesn't exactly speak Japanese," I tried to explain. "But I can translate." The officer deliberated for a moment before Heiji interrupted.

"How about we ask questions as we go, ne? And then after I solve the case, we can go back to the station and figure things out from there. This woman's had a hard day, so let's ease up with the questions for now. Ah? Go on, scat!" Heiji shooed the officer away before turning towards me.

"So we know that the victim was a gardener. Would you mind asking her if that's her sister?"

"Heiji, somehow I doubt she'd be paying as little attention as possible to the situation if that was her dead sister," I muttered sarcastically. He gave me one of those looks.

"It's for confirmation reasons, smartass. Just ask her?" I rolled my eyes and tapped Min Ji's shoulder.

"Ahem, they would like to know if you know who that is over there." I gestured lazily toward the dead body off to the side while people shuffled around, taking pictures, marking pieces of evidence. This situation was so familiar to me though that nothing was really registering as out of the ordinary. Min Ji's baby made cute little gurgling noises, gazing up at the ceiling as if there wasn't anything close to a murder investigation going on within such a close proximity.

"That woman? Let's see…I believe she was my sister's gardener. I don't know where my sister and her husband are though…they were supposed to be home."

"She says that that woman is indeed the gardener for the household."

"Figures. Callouses on the palms and dirt under the nails. Alright then, I guess we just have to figure out where our prime suspects are then?" Heiji sighed and took a few steps closer with me towards the crime scene.

"You might want to consider the cause of death."

"Oh I have," he confirmed proudly, his smile exhibiting his obnoxious ego. "There's a rather gruesome slash to the left thigh, as well as strangulation marks so…" he kneeled down over the body and reached out with a gloved hand to examine the rather apparent hand prints on the neck. "I'd say asphyxiation. Right?"

"Hmmm…" I hummed as I thought. Something seemed off about this assumption. It all seemed too easy, even though it was highly possible that thee gardener had been strangled. "Actually, I think you might want to take a closer look for the cause of death -"

"Which you are not technically allowed to determine." My head snapped up to meet the cold, grotesque eyes of the man that I didn't recognize. However, there was a man cowering behind him that I_ did_…

"…Ishida-san?"

"H-Hai, Kokawa-sama. Hello, Kokawa-sama." Ishida bowed and sputtered furiously in my presence as he always had, but somehow it seemed like he was actually afraid this time – and it wasn't because of me.

"Don't address her with a _sama_ at the end of her name, you fool. Go retrieve the reports from the forensics team."

"H-Hai!" Ishida stammered before he hurried off. The man took a step towards me, a grimy smile plastered on his face.

"You must be Kokawa Kokone. Used to be the head of the department, am I correct?" I didn't answer him, instead examined his appearance, which was nothing close to stellar. Suddenly, I felt a steady presence behind me, and somehow knew it was Ichiro.

"Well then. Though I hear your situation is _quite _unfortunate, since you are no longer head of the department, nor working for the Osaka forensics team _at all…_I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"Oh, you're _afraid,_" I repeated, then got completely serious. "You should be." This only made the man grin wider.

"I'm Fukuta Manabu, recently hired to replace you. I'll give you one thing: it's proven to be very difficult to live up to the expectations you've left behind. Then again, I think those went away once you…oh, what was it…didn't you try to kill someone?" My jaw gnashed together, causing me to bite into my cheek painfully.

"Oi, Fukuta-san. Cut it out," Heiji interjected in a stern voice.

"…Furthermore, I'm in charge of this forensics case, so step aside, ma'am." Fukuta stepped closer to eh body and kneeled over, doing just as Heiji did by reviewing the strangulation marks.

"Don't _ma'am_ me. I'm definitely younger than you are."

"Is that something to be proud of? Respect your elders, _child_, and step aside." My stomach started to boil, but I didn't say anything more as I watched the man work.

"Laceration to the leg. Most likely didn't hit the artery, so that's probably not the cause of death. I don't see any other entrances or scrapes of any kind, but we'll probably have to wait for the autopsy before we can determine whether or not that's true…ah. The strangulation marks. Clearly, this woman died of asphyxiation. There's your cause of death, Hattori-keibu." For some reason, Heiji didn't look pleased with this. Ichiro cleared his throat loudly at that moment, causing us all to glance over at him.

"First of all, there's hardly any blood. Well, not as much as there _should_ be if the artery had been slashed. You should probably remove that from your list of possibilities. Second of all, I don't think you can rightfully assume that the cause of death was asphyxiation before performing an autopsy. Are there any other signs? Such as…blue lips from oxygen deprivation?" Fukuta blinked for a moment before standing up to his full height.

"And you are?"

"Dr. Ogawa Ichiro."

"And why haven't I heard of you exactly?"

"I'm a surgeon. So typically, I work with the living."

"Ah. So this is funny to you? Why don't you go back to the hospital and wait for people that actually need your help, hm? Ishida!" Fukuta suddenly barked. "Where are those reports!"

While he was distracted with getting those reports, I took a step closer to see if the woman's lips were blue or not when I spotted…

Discoloration. That's definitely not normal.

"The cause of death wasn't asphyxiation," I stated simply. Fukuta looked over at me in annoyance.

"Right, right, why don't we find someone to take you back to the mental institution you should be locked up in, alright?" I ignored this jibe and knelt down to pull up the gardener's shirt slightly.

Harsh, pink and red bruising covered every inch of the woman's stomach. This wasn't a death by strangulation.

"Blunt force trauma. Internal bleeding is what killed her. Sloppy work, Fukuta-san. Your evaluation skills are especially lacking. I wonder what else is…?" Just then, Ishida showed up, completely breathless with a file in his hand.

"Here…the…reports…" Fukuta snatched them out of his hand to take a look.

"…So it seems. Ah! Fascinating information. I think it's safe to say we know what the murder weapon could be." I reached out to grab the file only for it to be held high above me. Curse my tiny frame, I thought harshly towards myself.

"Let me see," I commanded with authority.

"I'm afraid this information is to be disclosed only with the people on the actual forensics team. Oh, and the detectives, I suppose…does that include you? Ah, too bad, guess you'll have to go now." I growled in the back of my throat before I stooped back towards the body to examine it for myself. On cue, Heiji handed me a pair of gloves that I expertly snapped on as I went to work in search of all the details that were hidden within that report.

But the body never lies, I thought as I examined the woman's hands.

"Oi, didn't I tell you to get lost?" Fukuta asked heatedly, finding my presence just a tad annoying.

"Not until I get those reports." I waited for the man to respond, but he didn't for at least a few minutes. I was about to look up in wonder of what Fukuta was doing, but was suddenly yanked upward by Ichiro.

"Hey, what's -"

"Button up your shirt," he grumbled in my ear. When I turned to look at him, he was glaring at Fukuta with a ferocious fire in his eyes. Fukuta in the meantime was busy shaking his head, obviously dumbfounded by whatever it was that he just saw. Something told me that I should be angry about this, but it actually seemed pretty funny.

"Like what you saw Fukuta-san? If you hand over those reports -"

"Kokone!" Ichiro scolded. He was gripping my elbow now, holding me close by him possessively. Fukuta flushed if only for a moment before flashing back to that proud, egotistical façade.

"Like that would benefit you at all…but I suppose you have nothing left to lose, ne?" Fukuta chose that moment to cackle at his own words, as if it were absolutely hilarious that I was the subject of mortification and humiliation for basically the past year or so. My bravado was gone, and I sank back against Ichiro's arm.

Did I have anything to lose? This brought me back to the previous question that had been nagging my brain ever since the fire. Why _did_ I risk myself so often? Was it solely because I wanted to be a good person? Or…

Did I have, as Fukuta put it, nothing left to lose?

AN: Okayokayokay don't hate me D: ! I honestly don't even time to sleep at this point in my school year. Dx It's actually kind of scary because I feel lost and lifeless, kind of like Kokone at one point in this story. Blech. That's not an excuse though. I apologize for not writing often enough! I'll try to get another chapter out by tomorrow, maybe even tonight if I don't fall asleep. Thank you to those who are reading and reviewing, and I apologize yet again.

Also, I didn't even notice that my story was rated M o.o? It was supposed to be T, so I changed that. Thank you for letting me know! I never would have noticed otherwise -_-.

Reviews are always appreciated, as is the simple act of reading. Enjoy!


	35. Chapter 35: Homeward Bound

"Hey. Yooooohooooooo? Kokone-chan!" I blinked and suddenly saw the world again. What had I been seeing previously? As far as I knew, my eyes hadn't even been open. Heiji was standing in front of me now, a trace of annoyance in the way his eyebrows were set. "We're done translating now. You can go home. Don't forget your interview is tomorrow at 12, ne?"

Interview? Holy –

"Come on, I'll take you home." Had Ichiro been sitting there the whole time? What time was it?

After that encounter at the crime scene, that nasty Fukuta had the last say and I unfortunately didn't have the means to fight him for the case. So I stood aside and translated for Park Min Ji, thought a lot about my behavior, eventually ended up at the police station for final questioning, continued to think about my behavior. It was funny how I was actually repeating the words everyone was saying back and forth, and yet I couldn't remember a word of it. Who was the killer? What was the motive? What happened to Min Ji's husband?

Not knowing wasn't what particularly bothered me. The hard part out of all of it was really only the fact that everyone seemed to know how worthless and weak I was.

_Thank you, Han Hyo Yeoung,_ I thought harshly in my head. Ichiro was driving now; when had we gotten into the car? This is dangerous, I thought. Good thing I wasn't the one driving.

"You seem distracted." Ichiro's calm voice pierced my train of thought. I was staring out the window into the darkness of night. Maybe it was…8PM? I couldn't be sure.

"Aren't I always?" I replied quietly.

"Hm. Good point. But it's more so than usual. You're not letting what that Fukuta guy said bother you, are you?" When I didn't answer, he sighed.

"Don't listen to him. He doesn't know what he's talking about."

"They _all_ know what they're talking about, Ichiro. It's kind of hard to forget that I lost it and nearly shot someone."

"Maybe so, but they don't know _why _that happened. Everyone's going to judge you, but that's no reason to trust their judgment. Trust mine." I looked over at him now. His eyes were on the road as he leisurely drove with one hand on the steering wheel, the other arm against the window.

"What's your judgment?"

"Hmm…you were breaking. It wasn't your fault, you just couldn't handle it all, which is acceptable, given the circumstances. You didn't end up actually killing anyone, so I know it's still you under there." He smiled to himself slightly before glancing over at me.

"…I guess it's safe to say that no one else feels that way."

"Ehhh, they'll move past it. It'll become old news sooner than you realize. Once you get back to work, everything will return to normal after a few weeks. You'll get your power back." I snorted.

"My power, huh?"

"You'll see. Just trust me. Now, do you want to go back to your mom's house or your apartment?" My heart dropped a little. Just a little.

"My apartment. I haven't been there in a while. Hopefully the spare key is still on top of the doorframe…otherwise I'll have to stay with my mother." He nodded and drove me there in less than ten minutes.

"I'll wait for you out here. Call if you can get inside, come back out if you can't and I'll drive you to your mom's."

"Oh…thanks. Uhm, I guess I'll wash your shirt for you…"

"Yeah, yeah. Just whenever. There's no rush to get it back or anything. I'll see you around if you don't come back out." There was a slight lilt in his voice that suggested a tiny bit of disappointment, but I ignored it.

"Okay. Thanks again." I shut the door and trudged into my building. It was all so familiar, and yet so different somehow. Though I had lived in this apartment by myself for quite some time before Hyo Yeoung came along, I had kind of gotten used to having someone wait for me to come home. Now, it would just be empty. Nothing left. Just like me.

I stretched up on my tip toes and struggled to reach the top of the doorframe. For at least the 3rd time that day, I cursed my stupid height, but eventually found the key that had been there for quite a while.

"Gotcha," I whispered in success as I took it down and unlocked the door. When I stepped inside, it was dark. I slipped off my shoes and started to head for the kitchen to call Ichiro when –

_WUMP!_

I promptly fell flat on my ass.

"What the hell…" I grumbled as I rubbed my backside and got up. I felt around for the hallway light switch, and when I turned it on, I gasped.

Bottles of vodka littered the room. Newspapers, canvases, multiple unfinished drawings. The place was an absolute _mess._ My heart started to flutter uncomfortably; someone was here.

"Hello?" I stammered, heading towards my bedroom, snapping lights on as I went as if that would somehow lessen the fear. I opened the door just as someone was about to do the same from the other side, so I stepped back and waited for the figure to appear.

"…Kokone-ah? What – why are you here?"

"Why am_ I_ here? I live here, you big dope! Get out of my apartment!" There stood a sleepy Hyo Yeoung, in his traditional boxers and a tshirt that served as his pajamas. He squinted at the sudden barrage of lights.

"You don't live here anymore, remember? Didn't your mom tell you? Or my uncle, perhaps?"

"…_What?_" I hissed. "Are you _kidding_ me right now? I assure you, I'm not in any mood to joke around, especially not with the likes of _you_. Get out now!" I smacked him on the chest as if that would somehow get him to move in the direction of the door, but he just stood there, confused as ever.

"Kokone-ah, they transferred the rent payments to me. I own this apartment now. Your mom said something about you not wanting to live here anymore. Something about starting over, I guess…" He rubbed the back of his head shamefully.

"That's not possible. I never said anything about not wanting to live here. You need to leave. You need to -"

"Hyo Yeoung? What's going on?"

Oh for the love of God, I thought. This _can't_ be happening.

"It's nothing, go back to sleep -"

"Is that - ? Kokone-san? Why are you here?" Hikari stepped farther out from behind Hyo Yeoung at that point, wearing nothing but one of Hyo Yeoung's shirts. I thought I was going to be sick.

"I -" There wasn't anything I could say to her at that moment, so I decided to focus on something else to keep the tears from brimming over. When did those get there? "Where's my stuff? What did you do with _my _stuff?"

"O-Oh…well I packed a box. You didn't really keep that many personal belongings…"

"Right, only all my clothes, a few precious artifacts. And you stuffed them all into one _box?_ You're such an ass. Did if ever occur to you that you should, I don't know, _give me my stuff_ since I 'decided' to move out? Where's the box?"

"I-I'm sorry, I planned on sending it sometime this week…figured you still hated me and all that…"

"Yeah? Well I still do, possibly even more than before. Give me the box." He didn't move. "Didn't you hear me? _Give me the box!_" I hollered, wiping at my eyes impatiently. A minute later, Hyo Yeoung was back with a pretty large box that covered his face as he carried it towards me. Hikari stood there, her mouth in a permanent, perfect O shape as she watched this all play out. I stepped forward and took it, heading in the direction of the door.

"Kokone…I'm sorry." I didn't say anything in response to this as I slipped on my shoes and hurried out the door, slamming it shut behind me. The box was pretty heavy, but I got into the elevator and didn't put it down. I small sob escaped my lips as a tear rolled down my cheek. Keep it together, I told myself. You're done with this guy, right? Get over it, nothing's changed.

I sniffled and got off the elevator, somehow able to maintain some sort of composure as I passed the doorman. He didn't say a word to me though, which made me feel even more like a foreign alien that didn't live here anymore.

I had to look around the box to spot Ichiro's car. He was just sitting in the front seat, fiddling with the radio. When I got closer, he glanced up, and his expression immediately turned stone cold with concern.

"What's going on? What's with the box?" I didn't answer – couldn't, rather, as I walked around to other side of the car in order to put the box in the back seat. He waited patiently, but I could tell he was about to let his curiosity get the better of him as I slid into the front seat and buckled my seat belt. I heard his door shut as he followed my example.

"What happened? Kokone?" He asked cautiously. I took a shaky breath and wiped my eyes again.

"He took my apartment."

"He…wait, you don't mean Hyo Yeoung -"

"Yes. I do. And his new girlfriend is living there with him too, so basically, he replaced me with some whore that somehow has more dignity than I do, and -" I pounded on my thigh with my fist in an effort to keep it together. "He packed all my stuff up. Just – just kicked me out."

"Hey, hey, no need for tears. Come on, I'll go figure this out, alright? We'll get your apartment back -"

"Don't. I can't live there now. _Please_ just take me away from here."

"Kokone, you can't just let him take away your home. He has no right -"

"I can't do _anything_!" I cried in a shrill voice that shook my spine. "I can't control what he does to me. God, I just don't understand – when did everything fall out of my control _completely?_ No matter what I do or say, nothing ever gets better." I continued to pound my fist into my knee, harder and harder with each smack. "Nothing, nothing, noth-"

Ichiro reached out and grabbed my fist before I could hit myself again.

"Don't cry. I'll take you home if you promise to stop. I hate it when you cry." I took a deep breath and leaned over the console slightly so that my head rested on his shoulder.

"I do too," I sniffled pathetically. His cheek touched my hair as his hand reached around to touch the opposite side of my face. He always knew just what to do in any situation; it's no wonder he became a surgeon.

"Things will get better."

"Promise?" I nearly whimpered. He chuckled lightly against my hair.

"Yes, I promise. Now, should I take you to your mom's or…?"

"I feel really bad for being so intrusive, but I think I'd rather sleep outside than see my mom right now." I sighed and sat up, rubbing the bridge of my nose in annoyance. "I can't believe she gave my apartment away…" He didn't say anything for a long moment. He never did when it came to my mother. I wasn't sure if this was because he didn't want to insult her, though I probably wouldn't mind that much if it was coming from him, or if he simply didn't want to believe that my mother's relationship with me was as bad as it was.

"…You can live with me?" He said it like a question, as if asking permission. I wiped my eye free from the last of the tears and turned to face him in confusion.

"Live with you?"

"Yeah. I have an extra bedroom. And it _is_ a house, so it's not like I'm short on personal space…you can just stay until you get back on your feet, find a new place. All your stuff is in that box…right?" He gestured towards the back seat and seemed oddly calm about this suggestion. Meanwhile, my heart was hammering inside my chest, begging to escape from the confines of my rib cage.

"You…you want me to live with you? Are you sure that's…a good idea?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"Ichiro," I sighed, not sure if I should continue since he was acting so blasé about it all. How could I explain? "We never really talked about everything that happened…" I hinted nervously.

"…Oh. _Oh._ Uh – listen, we don't have to -"

"Dammit, now everything's awkward," I breathed in frustration as I tilted my head back against the headrest.

"No, just listen. We don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

"When has that ever been a problem? Especially with you." I shook my head, remembering my rash decision making that didn't cease the entire night that we were –

"Maybe it hasn't been, but what I mean is…Kokone, I still love you. I'm sure you know that."

"Uhm, o-of course…" I muttered.

"So what I'm saying is…we don't have to go back to anything if you don't want to. And…you don't. Right?"

"It's not that I don't _want_ to -"

"Kokone, I know you better than anyone, so I know that you aren't generally comfortable with the whole commitment thing." He stopped and watched my face carefully, most likely gauging whether or not I was about to get mad at him. "So…I can understand why you wouldn't want to. Especially not right now."

"I -" What was there to say? It was only when he said it aloud that I realized it was true. I was truly frightened by the thought of being with Ichiro again after everything that had happened; what if I messed up? It was one thing to screw up with Hyo Yeoung, but with someone I actually cared about?

"…So I'm right. You don't want anything to happen." Though he may have sounded slightly disappointed, his face was calm and composed as ever.

"No, it's not that. I just…can we try just being roommates for a while and see how that goes?" It took him a second, but he finally got it and smiled widely.

"Then you'll move in?"

"Where else would I go? Of course I will."

"Great! Well then, let's go home." He started the car and put it in reverse. As he turned and put one hand behind my seat to get a better view out the back window, he was suddenly so close that I wasn't sure if I should breathe.

"I really appreciate it, Chiro." He glanced at my face and smiled almost sadly.

"I know you do." And with that, he released the brake, starting the drive home.


	36. Chapter 36:No More Dancing CinnamonRolls

_Ogawa Ichiro's POV:_

Judo didn't hesitate to bound into the entryway to greet Kokone and me. That dog was a sucker for her, and the reason why was still unknown. It was like he was in tune with everything that was up with her; oftentimes, if she ever had a momentarily irregular heartbeat, he'd pick up on it immediately.

For the most part all he did was follow me around in search of food.

"Hey there, Judo. What've you been up to, pal?" Kokone knelt down and scruffed his ears as she cooed and praised him. I proceeded to lug Kokone's box of stuff towards the staircase. It only took her a few seconds to catch up with me.

"I can take that, Chiro," she offered worriedly, the way she always did.

"I got it," I huffed as I started up the stairs. She trailed behind me in silence.

When she asked me whether or not it would be a good idea for us to move in together, I honestly hadn't thought about it until then. Things had changed, definitely, no doubt, but there was still that tension between everything that held us together, even if the distance changed over time. It didn't bother me in the slightest that she would be living here, and actually, I didn't mind _that _much that she didn't want anything more than for us to be friends.

…Sort of.

"Alright then," I said as I lowered the box to the ground inside of the former guest bedroom. "You know where everything is, but if you need anything, just ask. I'll let you get your stuff unpacked."

"Thanks. I mean it." She sounded earnest, but when I looked at her she was staring at something else, a distracted look on her face. It's amazing how someone so seemingly insignificant had caused so much damage. Her face was worn and tired, and her eyes still seemed lost in the world. Judo, with his tail wagging, nudged her behind the knee and she blinked back into reality.

"It's…no problem. Goodnight."

"'Night."

"Do you mind if Judo stays with you? He can become quite the nuisance sometimes…" I said as I waited at the doorway on my way out.

"He's fine where he is. I don't mind him at all." She smiled slightly and reached out to pat him on the head, something he accepted with a content hum in the back of his throat. I laughed quietly in response; she had him tied around her little finger.

He was just like me.

"I'm on call starting at 8 tomorrow morning, so if I'm gone by the time you wake up that's probably why." A flash of hurt crossed her face, but I couldn't identify the cause.

"O-Okay. If you're still here, will you make sure I get up in time for the interview tomorrow?" She made eye contact with me fearlessly now; I almost forgot that she had asked me a question.

"Yeah, sure. Anyway…night." She nodded and turned towards her box. Just as I was about to shut the door, she started in a sort of panicked voice.

"Chiro!" I turned around and poked my head back into the room.

"Yeah?"

"Will you leave the door open?" She gave me a sheepish look accompanied by a small, pleading smile. Those eyes, I thought. How could anyone refuse this woman anything?

"Yeah." I took my hand off the knob and turned to leave once again, heading for my own room down the hall. When I was all ready for bed and lying there, staring at the ceiling, it took longer than usual to fall asleep. I finally did, however, and this time my dream was definitely _not_ about dancing cinnamon rolls.

Flashes of bright color interrupted my vision in the dream. Something chaotic was happening. At one point, Kokone's face was integrated with the disturbing color combinations. The flashes and bursts got faster and faster until everything was still.

Another flash, this time as if I had been looking at a blank wall and then suddenly decided to shift my gaze to something else. There was Kokone, lying on a hospital bed that was one of many specific to the trauma rooms in the emergency center wing. People were bustling around, and even though they were only blurs of colors unique to the scrubs our hospital provided, I somehow knew that they were all doctors and nurses. Nothing else was clear and defined besides her, and after a moment, I realized that was the last thing I wanted to see.

She was definitely out of it. For seconds at a time she'd be still as a board, her eyes rolled back in her head completely as people tried to diagnose the problem. For once, it seemed, it wasn't her heart.

When she wasn't temporarily passed out, she was groaning a menacing, pain-filled moan that sent shivers down my spine. Something was wrong, and no one had a clue what it was.

Her back would arch slightly and she'd grip the sheets, sometimes her abdomen. Beads of sweat popped out on her forehead and her hair was a ragged mess. She didn't appear to be injured, however, there was no blood, nothing was torn.

For some odd reason, I was powerless to do anything. Something – or someone – was holding me back, preventing me from being the doctor that I pledged to be when I was hired at this hospital. I tried to call out to her, to get her to see me.

"Kokone!" I pushed against an invisible force. "Kokone, what's the matter?" She didn't appear to notice me though as she suddenly squeezed her eyes shut and gritted her teeth, tilting her head back as she clutched at the cloth around her stomach once again. Her jaws parted for maybe a second as she exhaled sharply and sound ten times as frightening and loud as before escaped.

"_TTTTAAAAAHH!_" she screamed. Once that was out of her system, she followed with whimpering as she tried to curl up into a tight ball against the pain.

I was desperate now. What could possibly be wrong with her? If it was internal, then shouldn't we be doing MRI's and CT's? What about bruising? My mind flooded with numerous doctorly questions that I was so used to asking myself every day on the job. Normally, I at least had an inkling of what to do.

Now, however, was a completely different story.

At the moment a sound protruded my focus and my gaze automatically shifted towards it, where a distinct and clear door stood, now open, with Heiji standing there, a wild look of disbelief and urgency shouting at me through his eyes. He was holding a phone off to the side, and was attempting to deliver whatever news it was that he had brought.

"Ichiro-san! She's – she's –"

I sat bolt upright, my collar damp with a light sweat. I was breathing a bit heatedly, but the darkness of my room was enough to calm me down slowly but surely.

What was that all about? Would this be a regular occurrence now that Kokone was here? Jesus, it was like she was polluting my household with bad, morbid dreams. _No more dancing cinnamon rolls,_ I thought sourly.

Out of curiosity and, okay, I was a bit worried, I got up and padded quietly out into the hallway to check if her bedroom door was still open. It indeed was, but nothing was visible except for a foreboding darkness that made me gulp audibly. I decidedly pushed ahead anyway as I tiptoed to her doorway.

When I peered in, I could barely make anything out, save for a slightly illuminated puddle of white fur on the bed across the room. Definitely Judo, I thought, and he didn't seem to be upset about anything, so there was no reason to worry. Kokone was fine.

I listened closely and concentrated on making out breathing sounds that suggested deep sleep, but there weren't any. My hearing must be bad, I thought as I bit my lip and stepped into the room. Before I even knew what was happening, Kokone had sat up and flipped on the switch for the lamp on the bedside table. I froze midstep, most likely with a bewilderedly guilty look on my face.

"Chiro? What are you doing?" The sheets were covering her legs as if she had been snuggled up only seconds ago, sound asleep, but I knew better. Her eyes were bright and alert, a sure sign that she hadn't slept a wink the entire night. My face softened ever so slightly. Judo lifted his head up lazily as if in greeting.

"I just – I wanted to check on you. Why aren't you asleep?" I took a few steps closer and sat primly on the edge of the bed, careful to keep us separated by the now unaware boundary named Judo.

"Check on me? Is everything alright?" She sneakily sidestepped my question, but I knew better than to push it.

"Uh – I just had a weird dream. That's all. Are you…" Dare I say it? I asked myself. It was either now or never, and if I chose now then…well, I could quite possibly lost my life, depending on the type of mood she was in. "…Scared? Of something?" She blinked and bit her lower lip as her fingers started to fiddle with the sheets. There were creases where her hands were, so undoubtedly this had been going on all night.

"I'm not…scared. But what if -" she stopped herself, suddenly nervous under my scrutiny.

"What if…?" I prompted. She took a deep breath before continuing.

"What if they think I'm crazy?" She painfully whispered this, though it was unintentional, so her voice cracked a few times.

"Who? Your interviewer? Kokone, you're not crazy, you're perfectly fine."

"Or…what if they think I'm suicidal like you do?" These words seemed to tumble out of her mouth, and I felt my jaw drop momentarily before I decided it would be a good idea to respond.

"I – when did I ever say you were suicidal?"

"Uhm…today? After the fire, you said something about it scaring you that I'm so reckless…"

"Well yeah, it scares me, but that doesn't mean I think you're suicidal or anything…"

"You said that I sometimes risk my life for no reason, and that's what scares you the most." She looked at me curiously, almost willing me to disagree as if she wanted to be wrong for once.

I couldn't deny that the thought of her possibly being suicidal never crossed my mind. It had always been behind everything else, like a backdrop to our chaotic lives.

"So do you? Think I'm suicidal, I mean."

"No. No, of course not. You worry me sometimes, but that's not the same thing." She didn't look entirely reassured, but also didn't attempt to ask the question again. After she scooted over a bit towards the wall, she patted the spot next to her and I flashed back to when she had done the same so long ago. At the time, I was still under the impression that she may never speak again, but after I hopped onto that spot and sat there with her, I knew things would somehow turn up. Maybe now, another turning point would be breached. I got up and shifted into the right spot, and she leaned one shoulder against mine as we sat against the headboard of my old twin bed.

"So I won't be deemed insane and possibly committed to a mental institution?" I chuckled.

"No. I know crazy when I see it. You're not the insane kind of crazy."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean, that I'm the good kind of crazy? Is there even such a thing?"

"Relax, relax!" I responded buoyantly. "You _are_ the good kind of crazy in that you're unbelievably brave and risky."

"Oh, so I'm _risky _now, huh?" She laughed that bell-like laugh, and I couldn't help but do the same.

"I'm telling you, people take chances when they enter your life. Sometimes _extreme _ones."

"_Honey, I'm still free/Take a chance on me_," she sang perfectly, just like ABBA in perfect English. This only made us laugh harder. I had missed these moments the most: the ones where all we do is roll around in each other's ridiculousness. When that moment was over, she sighed contentedly.

"Thanks."

"Anytime. Have you really not slept all night because of _that_?"

"Can you blame me?" She said defensively. "This is a matter of whether or not I get my _life_ back, Chiro."

"Don't be _too _dramatic. Sure you're job's important, but you have other things to focus on." She grimaced.

"I don't _want_ to focus on those things right now though."

"Oh."

"Did you say you had a weird dream?"

"I did."

"What was it about?" Where to begin, I thought…

"Uh…well…"

"Was I in it?" Even though the part she played in the dream was definitely _not_ romantic in any way whatsoever, I felt my face get hot.

"Y-Yes…"

"And you came in here to check on me…so did something happen to me in the dream?" She was pretty good at this whole deduction thing, no doubt because of hanging around with a famous detective as a job all day.

"…Something was wrong with you."

"What was it?"

"I don't know. That was the problem. You were in pain or something…no one knew what was wrong, and Heiji came to tell me right before it ended so I never figured it out."

"And you call yourself a doctor…" she teased lightly, poking my shoulder. I snorted.

"Speaking of which, I will probably have to get up in the morning, and I know you will too for your interview, so why don't we get some sleep, ne?" I started to get up, but she stuck her elbow out and pushed my chest back against the headboard. I looked at her, my eyebrows furrowed together while she countered with a look of determination. Finally, she spoke.

"I didn't even tell you."

"…Tell me what?"

"When you said you still loved me. I didn't tell you that I still love you." I exhaled.

"You didn't have to, and you still don't. If you don't feel comfortable -"

"Ichiro, no. It's not that I'm uncomfortable, I'm just afraid of screwing up, to be honest."

"Kokone, what could you _possibly_ screw up?" She was so absurd sometimes, I thought to myself. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

"I screwed up _everything _with Hyo Yeoung. Even though I didn't love him or anything…it still didn't work out even as friends. All because I wouldn't sleep with him. What if you get too impatient with me one day? I know you put up with a lot, but it is _me_ we're talking about here." I was shaking my head in disagreement before she even finished her statement.

"It's ridiculous of you to think that you not sleeping with him caused all of this."

"Okay, but what about before that?"

"Before?"

"I was stupid and reckless, as usual. I came to your house and – we've never talked about this yet, have we." She was fiddling with the sheets again, her face turning rose petal pink. I'm sure mine was just as red.

"It takes two, Kokone," I mumbled almost inaudibly. There was a reason we hadn't talked about this yet…

"Yeah, but it only takes one to initiate it. I shouldn't have done that. Things would have been so much more different if I hadn't barged in like that…" I sat quietly for a moment, letting her think to herself.

"Listen." She looked up at me cautiously, those cerulean orbs of hers penetrating and sad. "We share equal blame in that…part...of the whole thing, but after the fact…Kokone, that guy was complete scum. While he's trying to put the blame onto _your_ shoulders, he has absolutely no right to do so. Just because you wouldn't…look, it's not -"

"Ichiro, you're going to hurt yourself." She reached up and touched my shoulder almost playfully now. "I get it, I get it. It's okay. I just wish there was something I could have done."

"I know. Get some sleep, alright? Quit worrying, everything will turn out alright. I promised, didn't I? But you have to sleep and get through that interview." I started to get up, but she stopped me once again.

"Just stay here," she yawned, already scooting down and pulling the covers up to her chin. "I don't know why you insist on pretending we were never this close."

"I most certainly don't!" I protested incredulously as I copied her movements anyway. This was getting to be as comfortable as sitting on the same couch with any given friend.

"Whatever you say, Ichiro. You have enough room?"

"More than enough. You're still tiny as ever." A sharp kick landed on my shin, causing me to wince. Judo looked up in suspicion once more before putting his head back down at the foot of the bed.

"Ow," I grumbled.

"Goodnight!" She chimed in a sickly sweet voice.

"Hmph." She smiled sleepily before turning over to face away from me. After only minutes, we were both sound asleep.


	37. Chapter 37: Congrats, You're Sane!

_Kokawa Kokone's POV:_

I was in one of those states where you're awake, but you refuse to open your eyes. Remnants of the fantastic dream I had just had were beginning to disappear as I became more aware of my surroundings.

What a good dream…such a good dream…but already I was having trouble recalling it.

I groaned in protest: isn't that always the way? Why were the good dreams the ones I forgot so easily while the bad ones stuck around despite the fact that I definitely wanted nothing to do with them? I turned my head to the other side and attempted the twist my body around as well, but something stopped me.

My eyes snapped open; what was in my way?

Oh right. Ichiro. I flushed slightly as I noted his arm casually draped across my stomach. No doubt an accident, but if anything it was a little out of my comfort zone. I quickly realized that my hand was lying helplessly on his chest, and decided that we shared the blame in this situation as I stealthily removed it while at the same time placing his arm closer to him and completely off of me.

Hmm, wasn't there something important today? And then I remembered.

"Shit," I hissed as I scrambled onto all fours. Ichiro made it a bit difficult for me to get out of bed, so I settled for trying to grab the alarm clock on the bedside table…

…And ended up crawling on top of him anyway.

"Oomph! What're you -"

"Crap, crap, crap," I muttered under my breath as I read the time: 11:23. I had to be _at_ the interview at 12. I tumbled off of the bed and rolled into a standing position at the box I had yet to actually unpack. Shoes, shirt, pants…good enough. I started to strip.

"Hey, hey, hey! At least wait for me to get out of the room!" Ichiro said in exasperation from off to the side. I was hardly paying attention.

"Oh, get over yourself, you've seen me naked. Does it really matter?" At this point, my shorts were off and I was in the process of hopping into my nice slacks while simultaneously shimmying off my shirt.

"It should…" He mumbled a few other things that I couldn't make out completely through my distractions at the moment. After successfully buttoning my shirt, I reached down for my heels. Out of nowhere, we both heard pounding at the front door.

"I wonder who that could be…" Ichiro thought aloud as he got up to check it out. I ignored it and grabbed my toothbrush as I hustled to the bathroom.

I looked as good as I could in the condition I was in. When I next checked the clock it was 11:37.

"Kokone!" Ichiro called from the kitchen downstairs. I grabbed my shoes and nearly fell in my attempt to race down there. I stopped in my tracks when I landed at the bottom.

"…Heiji? Why are you here?" He was sipping a cup of coffee that Ichiro must have given him at the table, calm as ever. The look he gave me was in slight annoyance and possibly are-you-kidding-me.

"Didn't I tell you I was picking you up for the interview? How did you think you were getting there if Ichiro ended up going to work? Speaking of which, why aren't you working?" He turned his attention to Ichiro, who was pouring himself some orange juice.

"I had a lot of 48-hour shifts in the past month. There's a limit to how many hours you can actually put in, so for now I'm just on call."

"Wait a minute, when did you say you were taking me?" I butted in.

"Yesterday. Don't you remember? Why are you so easily distracted?"

"I'm not!" I swatted my shoes at him in protest. "You should have made sure I knew!"

"Hey, I'm not the only on apparently not mentioning things. Or did you at some point tell me you two were living together while I was busy solving the case?" I gaped. How was I supposed to explain that?

"Uh, this was recent. Like, last night recent. And it's not what you think." Ichiro chose to speak up, and for that I was eternally grateful.

"Ahhh, so you two lovebirds are finally figuring things out, neee?" This look of triumph masked Heiji's face; I had a strong urge to slap it right off.

"Did you not just hear me?" Ichiro asked in frustration as he rolled his eyes to the ceiling. "It's not because of_ that_." He glanced at me nervously, not sure if he should explain the situation or not.

"I'd like to hear a better reason than _love_. Well? Why are you living here now?" I inhaled slowly before answering through gritted teeth.

"Hyo Yeoung owns my apartment now." Heiji nearly choked on the coffee he had previously been sipping.

"He _what?_ Jesus, what _hasn't _that guy taken from you, ah? I'm telling you, sometimes I wish _I_ could have punched him in the nose…" He was shaking his head, clearly angry at the idea of Hyo Yeoung. Something inside me melted a little bit. See? I asked myself. The important ones understand.

"Anyway, we should get going. You ready?" Heiji stood up and took his cup to the sink. I nodded and followed him towards the entrance.

"I'd wish you luck, but you won't need it," Ichiro called after me. I turned back and tried my best to smile.

"Thanks. I hope I won't…"

"It'll be fine. When you come home with your new certification, we'll go get something good to eat." He leaned casually back against the sink, a relaxed and reassuring smile on his face. How I longed to just stay here and sit in his comfortable presence…

"Thanks for everything, Chiro. I mean it."

"Yeah, yeah. Go on, now." He shooed me out of the kitchen to where Heiji was waiting by the front door impatiently.

"Come on! We're on a tight schedule, here."

"Alright, alright, calm down," I grumbled as I slipped on my shoes.

Hopefully this wouldn't lead to further disaster.

* * *

><p>Nervous didn't even <em>begin <em>to describe what I was feeling as I sat in the waiting room of the building I had previously been so used to. How had I not noticed this room before? Possibly because it had been an obstacle to my actual work space, as I normally just grazed on through to the elevator to start my day. This was where all the families waited, expecting news that no single family member ever wants to hear. "Good morning, Mr./Ms. _, your sibling/spouse/parent/child's cause of death is severe blood loss due to the massive injuries he/she sustained while being murdered."

Okay, so I wasn't that harsh about it, but no matter how you say it, that's how the family member hears it.

I would know.

Sympathy overwhelmed me at that moment as I spotted a young woman across the room from me. Her face held an exhausted yet alert expression that suggested she wasn't entirely ready to handle whatever news had just been thrown into her face. She was maybe in her early 20s, probably younger than me. I watched as her legs crossed and uncrossed nervously, wondering who she was currently missing from her life.

I directed my attention elsewhere and focused on the clock hanging idly on the opposite wall. It was 12:02. Heiji left to go to work after telling me to call him immediately after the interview was over.

Everyone was expecting me to do well with this, to prove that I was sane and get my job back, piece of cake, no problem at all. But how could they be so sure? None of them would have guessed that I had picked up that gun and pointed it at innocent people, those of which included Ichiro. Not a single one of them could have possibly assumed that I would have done that. So why were they assuming that I could just as easily recuperate?

It was almost unfair. I appreciated their support, but it seems like success stems from the necessity to win over the people that assume you can't possibly end up victorious. That's what had always pushed me, and now it was just…

I had enemies. But they were too insignificant. Or maybe I had grown as a person and had stopped caring in general? Was that good or bad?

"Who are you waiting to hear about?" I blinked and followed the voice that had rudely interrupted my train of thought. It was that woman, though now her face seemed calmer, as if just making eye contact with another person that could possibly be in the same situation as her was enough to keep her grounded.

"Uh – no one, actually. I used to work here. Well. I mean, I might still work here. I don't know." She looked a bit skeptical, so I stopped babbling. "Are you waiting to hear about someone?" The woman swallowed and looked at the ground.

"My brother. Someone murdered him while he was taking the night shift for security at a museum. I just don't understand who would want to hurt him…" She looked up to the ceiling as if for an answer from above. There were tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"Please don't say that," she pleaded as she met my eyes once again. "I've heard that phrase so many times today. Just don't say it anymore." It was quiet for a moment. A telephone rang noisily from the front desk a few feet away.

"Okay," I finally said. "I won't say it. But I understand."

"How could you possibly understand?" She said this more like she actually wanted to know than she wanted to criticize me.

"How do you think I got into this field of work? My father was murdered right before my eyes when I was 8."

"Wow…and here I thought no one really knew." She smiled sadly at me, tilting her head slightly to the side.

"Kokawa Kokone," someone called harshly from behind me. I jumped just a tiny bit. When I turned in my seat, I came face to face with my old boss, Tamura Hiroto. "Come this way."

I got up and started to leave, but didn't forget the woman across from me.

"I hope they find justice for your brother." She nodded and watched me go.

Once inside my boss's office, he told me to sit across from his desk in a seat next to a man that was already waiting with a notepad in his lap. He looked like the psychiatrist type, but I had no idea that that's what he really was until he introduced himself.

"This is Dr. Ojima. He's going to ask you a few questions to determine your mental health." I almost snickered at this blatant statement, but was somehow able to keep it to myself.

"Alright then, Kokawa-san. First off, about the incident a few weeks ago. How would you explain that to someone?"

"I…uh…" I faltered a bit, not really sure where to start. "Well you see, there was a lot going on -"

"Such as?"

"Well…my husband had cheated on me with one of my best friends' fiancé. I went to tell this best friend and he happened to be in the middle of solving a case – since he's a detective on the police force, so you can also ask him what happened – and one of the suspects pulled a gun on him. I guess…I sort of snapped and stole the gun from him." The psychiatrist nodded, not entirely in understanding, but not like I was a psychopath either. This is good, I decided.

"I understand you've had a lot of trauma in your life."

"A few near death experiences," I mentioned casually. "A few witnesses to brutal murder. I was seeing a psychiatrist until recently…"

"And you don't anymore?"

"…I could start those sessions up again, if you think it's necessary."

"How have your sleeping habits been?"

"Uh…fine, I guess."

"Any disturbing dreams?"

"Oh, all the time, but that's been going on since my dad died."

"What about your eating habits?"

"Fine."

"Hygiene?"

"Do I smell?" That got the man to crack a witty smile.

"No, I suppose you don't. And you're definitely put together pretty well physically at least…What about mentally though? Have you ever contemplated suicide at any point in your life?"

"…Yes."

"When was the last time?" He suddenly seemed concerned, so I tried to fix whatever Pandora's Box I had just unleashed.

"When I was hiding out from the Black Organization. I thought killing myself would keep the ones close to me from being targeted." He nodded, listening closely.

"Do you live on your own?"

"Not anymore."

"With that husband of yours?"

"No. No, I divorced that bastard." My boss snorted, and the psychiatrist tried not to smile. "I'm living with a close friend."

"Your boss tells me you did some pretty heroic work yesterday. Would you mind telling me about it?"

"I saved a man from a burning building. I just – I don't know, everyone was just watching, not really able to help. I felt like I had to." He nodded thoughtfully.

"Lastly, do you think you're fit for this job, and why?" I had to think about this for a minute in silence.

"I think that this is my calling. I wasn't born to be a doctor that saves lives; I was intended to aid those that are grieving over the lives that couldn't be saved. I need this job to keep my sanity in check, because otherwise, I won't know what to do with myself. Not being able to work has been one of the harder parts of this whole situation. Though it's beneath me, and I normally don't do this sort of thing, I'm willing to beg for this job. A large part of my life now depends on it. You wouldn't regret having me back." It was quiet as they both absorbed this, and then the psychiatrist started to smile in elation.

"Well sir, I believe you have your chief medical examiner back." He stood up and handed off a few papers to my boss, who also stood to accept them and shake his hand.

"Wonderful. Fantastic! When can you start again? Does Next Monday sound good?" I just stared at him, totally not understanding what he was saying.

"My…I have my job back? I passed the exam?" I asked in rising incredulousness as I slowly rose to my feet.

"Indeed, Ms. Kokawa. Or should I say, _Dr._ Kokawa. Congratulations." He extended his hand and I took it limply, letting him do all the shaking before he smiled and took his leave.

"I…I have my job back. I got the job?" I was talking to myself now, which probably didn't look too good considering I just had an examination over my mental health.

"You got the job," my boss encouraged with a light smile as he stuck his hands in his pockets. "It'll be good to have you back. Fukuta-san just isn't the same…we need a woman in power, ne?" He winked at me and leaned over his desk to hand me a paper. I took it gingerly and examined it with care.

CERTIFICATION OF APPROVAL

For the Office of CHIEF MEDICAL EXAMINER

This patient has been deemed mentally sane by: Ojima Satoru on this day of December the 15th

No shit…it clearly stated that I was mentally sane.

I lost it then.

"OMO, OMO, OMO! AAAHAHAHA, THIS IS GREAT! THANK YOU, THANKS SO MUCH!" I nearly leapt over his desk to hug him, which he accepted easily enough with a few surprised chuckles. "I won't disappoint you, sir!"

"Fine, fine, just be here next Monday," he replied easily. I jumped up and down once more with a squeal as I ran from the office, determined to sprint all the way home just to show Ichiro. He'd certainly get a kick out of it.

Getting home was a complete blur. To be honest, I wasn't sure if I ran the whole way or not. Maybe I had taken a taxi to the nearest block. But however I had arrived on Ichiro's street, I was currently running as fast as possible while holding my certificate and my heels, already calling out his name.

There was no way he could hear me yet, but I kept on. "ICHIRO!" I hollered. "ICHIROOOO!" I flung myself up the porch steps and through the door, surprised that it was unlocked as I threw my shoes off in a frenzy.

"CHIROCHIROCHIRO!" I chanted as I huffed into the kitchen. His back was to me while he was at the sink, pouring himself some coffee while wearing his hospital scrubs. It only took a matter of seconds though for him to turn and see me there. His eyes popped open wide as I ran over to him and impulsively decided to jump up and hug him around the neck, my certificate still in my hand. He tentatively wrapped his arms around me as he chuckled nervously.

"What's going on? Did you pass?" I pulled back, an almost painful grin spread across my face as I held up the paper for proof. He took it and read over it with an amused expression on his face. His eyebrows shifted upwards in surprise as he laughed some more.

"Well look at that. Didn't I tell you? This is fantastic!" Now it was my turn to be surprised as he stooped over slightly and lifted me right off my feet in a triumphant hug of sorts, but at the moment it didn't matter what the definition of our relationship was.

All I knew was that no matter what, he would always be my best friend.


	38. Chapter 38: Everything You Could

"I wish I could take you to get something," Ichiro said after he stopped spinning me around in seemingly endless circles. "But I was paged."

"Oh," I pouted, mildly disappointed. "Well that's okay. Some other time. I need to call Heiji…maybe Tokyo. Is there an important case?"

"I think so…I was just called in on this case to replace someone else. I don't have all the details yet." I nodded in understanding as I reached for the fridge to grab some juice. "Apparently it has a lot of complexity along with it. We'll have to see." He placed his now empty coffee cup into the sink and scooped up his keys from the nearby counter.

"So will it take a while?"

"I might be home for dinner or something. I'll call you though, ah? Help yourself to anything, not that I need to tell you to…" He eyed me with a playfully suspicious gaze that gravitated towards the glass of juice I had just started to drink. I smiled as I sipped it happily.

"Yeah, yeah, go save lives. It's a beautiful day to do such a thing." His expression softened slightly into something close to elation and disbelief. When he didn't say anything, my smile started to fade. "…What?"

"N-No, nothing." He shook his head as if to rid of his current thoughts. "I'm glad you got your job back. Things are getting better for you, see? Ja ne, then." He waved over his shoulder as he left.

"Bye," I muttered quietly once he was gone. Had I said something strange? I couldn't think of anything out of the ordinary that had come out my mouth…I ran my hand through my hair and washed out my juice glass before grabbing the phone. First…Heiji.

"Hattori Heiji." I rolled my eyes; his tone was beyond cocky.

"Oi, oi, cut it with the ego. If I'm going to have to work with you again you'd better figure out how to fix that."

"…Kokone? Woah, wait, work with me again? That means -"

"Nice detective work."

"- You got your job back! That's great! When do you start?"

"Next Monday. And not only my _job_, but my _position_. I'm still chief medical examiner." I couldn't help smiling to myself; today was indeed a beautiful day.

"Fantastic! Don't be late showing up," he sounded as if he were already scolding me, but hey, that was Heiji.

"Whatever, you _know_ I won't be late."

"Kazuha said something about planning for the wedding with you and Nee-chan soon. Might wanna give her a call."

"Will do. I'll talk to you later, Heiji." When I hung up the phone, I immediately started dialing again.

"Agasa residence."

"Shiho-san! How are you?"

"Kokawa-san?" She answered calmly.

"Aw, come on, cut the formalities, ah?"

"Why are you so chipper today? Things are going well I presume?" She sounded bored, but I knew her well enough to recognize that her questioning in the first place wasn't just out of politeness.

"I got my job back."

"…When did you _not_ have your job?" She actually sounded a tiny bit concerned now, and that's when I realized just how long it had been since I had last talked to her.

"Omo! I have so much to tell you, Shiho-chan." And so I did. It took a lot longer than I thought it would, but as usual, she waited patiently and made noises of disgust or approval depending on the situation. When I mentioned Hyo Yeoung's little mistake, she had a partially frightening statement to add.

"If he were still in Tokyo, I'd probably be responsible for his mysteriously landing in the middle of the ocean." She was so calm as she stated this that I almost asked her to repeat it.

"R-Right…he's been getting a lot of death threats lately…" was my awkward reply. She just sighed.

"As he should be. Don't let him determine anything though, Kokawa-san. He can only make you feel inferior with your consent." I blinked. Always the fountain of deep thinking, this woman was.

"I…thanks. Wow. Did you read that off of a chocolate wrapper?" She chuckled lightly.

"Of course not. It just comes to me, I suppose."

"Well, I'll try to get over to Tokyo soon, hmm? I should probably get going."

"Right. Goodbye, Ko…kone-chan." She hung up before I could comment, but not before I felt a smug smile stretch across my face.

I called Kazuha next, and was immediately sucked into wedding planning. Apparently Ran was trying her best to do her part, but was busy with something else not exactly mentioned, so unfortunately…

It was sort of up to me to be the maid of honor.

But how does one act as a maid of honor? Do you just have to show up? I didn't want to ask her this however, because there was no telling how she could react if I was completely off the mark.

And then there were the dresses. We had been talking on the phone about a lot of things for maybe an hour before she started on the subject of _dresses._ Blech.

"I already have a few picked out, but I didn't want to bother you, Kokone-chan…"

"O-Oh, no you should have called me, really. I'm sorry I was a little out of the loop there…"

"Don't apologize, Kokone-chan! Mou…in any case, I still need someone to take a look for me. I think I got the right size…" I froze.

"The right size? Like…_my _size?"

"Well yes. Are you busy right now? Can I bring them over?"

"Bridesmaids dresses?"

"Kokone," she said seriously. "What have we been talking about for the past 10 minutes?"

"Right, sorry, sorry."

"Okayokayokay, so is now a good time?"

"S-sure," I relented. "By all means."

"Great!" she squealed. "I'll be there in 5 minutes!" She hung up in a frenzy and I could have sworn I heard her car from where I was sitting.

For the next few hours, I was in the deepest pits of a beyond girly hell.

"Kazuha, I don't think -"

"Ohhh, isn't the color wonderful?" She cooed as she whirled around me. I was currently wearing a long, royal blue dress with one partial sleeve. It was sleek and sophisticated no doubt, but was _extremely_ uncomfortable given my height. The hem of the dress was basically dragging across the floor, causing me to not-so-gracefully trip on my way in.

"Sure, the color's nice, but…wouldn't it be better to have short dresses for the bridesmaids? So you stand out more, of course…" I tacked that last party on in an effort to fully convince her.

"Hmm…you're right. I love your opinions, Kone-chan! Okay, next one then." I sighed and held my hand out for both dress bags, one to put the blue dress in and the other containing the new dress.

The next one was a full, beautiful green chiffon dress that hung just above the knees and was strapless. Overall, it fit pretty well. _I_ thought it did at least…

"Kokone-chan!" Kazuha gasped when I walked in. "Oh, I can't let you wear that, everyone will be looking at _you_!" I was pretty sure there were tears in her eyes as she fanned her face and got up to get a closer look.

"Wowww, it's just so pretty…oh, you and Ran will be absolute _knock outs._ Here, take this one instead. We'll keep this one just in case, but you can't be _too_ beautiful on _my_ wedding day!"

"Speaking of which…when is this wedding supposed to be taking place?"

"Uhm…."

"Kazuha!" I scolded.

"Hey, we've been busy, alright? We're figuring out the little details first." She waved me off easily, and something told me this wasn't the first time for her to say this.

"Well that's fine. Don't worry, it'll come together."

"Okayokay, take this one."

Well, I thought after I put it on. This certainly isn't bad. Not bad at all. Kazuha seemed pretty pleased when I walked back into the kitchen.

"Ooh! How pretty! And you know, this one we can choose whatever color we want when I finally decide on a theme. Wow, it fits nicely around the waist, hm? _And_ the chest!" I flushed, despite myself. How embarrassing.

"Alright, alright, can I take it off now? Is that the last one?"

"…Fine. Yes, that's the last one. Thanks so much Ko -"

The opening of the front door interrupted her statement. Some shuffling, and then Ichiro showed himself in the kitchen entryway, his head ducked down as he tossed his keys to the side and went upstairs, presumably to change. It was like we hadn't even been there.

"Uhm…it's getting late, isn't it. I should go." Kazuha started to gather up the infinite amount of dresses. I helped her, not even realizing that I was wearing one of them. By the time she was gone, I hadn't noticed, and was therefore stuck with the damn thing. Might as well go change, I thought. So I headed upstairs. On my way to the top, I spotted Ichiro in his room, his door wide open as he sighed and changed his shirt tiredly. Blushing slightly, I hurried and went in the opposite direction towards my room, hoping he wouldn't notice.

Instead of changing however, I got distracted. What was wrong with Ichiro? He hadn't even greeted Kazuha, hadn't even seen me or the pile of dresses covering his floor. When I poked my head out my door to see if his was still open, I spotted Judo standing just outside of his door, the poor dog's ears flat against his head and his tail low. No one wanted to see Ichiro sad.

Had something happened? What was I supposed to do if he didn't talk to me about it voluntarily? Pressure him? I honestly wasn't sure; usually I wasn't the one to cheer him up. That was basically _his_ job, but only because I never really had the opportunity to do what he did for me. Even now, I was still unconsciously trying to make it up to him for everything he had ever done, but who knew just how _hard_ it could be.

You have to go in there, I pushed myself. Something could be really wrong. And if there wasn't anything the matter, then perfect, we could go out for dinner.

Thinking this, I glanced at my alarm clock. Oh…it was already 11 at night. Woops.

Okayokayokay, anyway. You need to get in there. I gulped audibly and stood up from my bed, attempting to carry confidence with me as I crossed the hallway to his room, which was still open to the world. Judo was still nervous about entering, I supposed, but I forced myself to barge right in.

"Chiro?" I asked quietly when I spotted him sitting on his bed, his back to me. He was just sitting there, not showing any signs of voluntary movement. I took a few steps closer and eventually sat next to him, a respectful distance away.

"…Ichiro?" I tried again. He was staring at the floor, his face blank and unseeing. Tentatively, I reached out and barely touched his shoulder, causing him to jump slightly which inevitably caused me to do the same.

"Oh. Hey," he mumbled tonelessly as he got up to put his change of clothes away. I noted that he hadn't come home in his scrubs; did he have to leave them at the hospital? Perhaps throw them away? He stopped at his hamper and rubbed the back of his neck. I couldn't see his face.

"We can go get something to eat, if you still want to," he offered dully. I felt a pang in my chest.

"It's okay, we can do it some other time. Chiro, is everything alright?" I stood up and folded my arms tightly across my chest, feeling a chill in the air all of a sudden. Something told me not to directly approach him though, so I kept my distance. He turned slowly to face me, an overwhelming amount of sadness pouring from his eyes to mine. I wanted to grab his face in desperation and do _something_ to fix whatever had made my Ichiro so morose.

"You look nice. What's the dress for?"

"Uhm, Kazuha had me try on bridesmaid dresses. Ichiro, are you okay? What's wrong?" His face twitched slightly as I asked. He inhaled slowly before answering.

"Someone died today." I waited for him to say more, but he didn't, so I took a step closer and tried again.

"Who?" He passed me on his way to sit back on the bed again, sighing tiredly.

"My patient." I bit lip, understanding immediately.

"What happened?" He didn't appear to notice when I took a seat next to him.

"I don't know. I just…I don't know. I didn't make any mistakes…neither did my resident."

"Okay, well…tell me about the patient." He regarded me carefully, as if in deliberation.

"She was a young girl. 19. Studying abroad. Until she got sick. One day, she's a normal college student, having fun, learning, growing up. The next, she's in a hospital on the transplant list for a new heart."

"She was supposed to have surgery today. We were going to try to repair what we could while we waited for a donor. Before the surgery, she talked to me, wanted to get my personal opinion. And I told her that she _needed _this surgery, that she'd have a better chance of surviving until we could get her a new heart if she decided to go for it. This girl – I don't know why, but she trusted me. She trusted me more than she trusted her parents, and even asked me for advice about things outside of her stay at the hospital. She believed she was going to have a future, that she was going to live and be perfectly fine. I thought she would be okay too. It's not fair to let someone so innocent and young die before they even have a chance to live."

"She got a bit nervous while we were taking her down to the O.R. I told her that I could bring my chess set and we'd play after she got out, since she loves to play chess. I was sure she'd be fine."

"When we got in there, nothing came out as we had expected it to. It was too far gone – I don't know how I could have _missed_ it. No one saw it coming, and soon enough there was massive hemorrhaging and the anesthesia was too hard on her respiratory system. She just crashed, and we tried for 30 minutes to get her heart beating again." He reached up to rub his eyes with his fingertips, as if he was suffering from a disturbing image or a headache.

"She died. She just…_died_. No warning, no special reason." I involuntarily put an arm around his shoulder and leaned my head against him.

"I'm so sorry, Chiro."

"I can think of a million reasons why I shouldn't be a surgeon, but I can't think of a single reason for why I _should_ be one. We only take classes that teach you how to _prevent_ death, no one teaches you what to do when it actually _happens_."

"Even my job doesn't prepare me for that, and I only work on dead people. But even so, I've realized something about good surgeons like you. I also know why you should be one, and why you are one."

"Oh really. Why is that," he stated, seemingly uninterested.

"Because when you tell the family that you did everything you could, there's no possible way that they won't believe you. Why did you try for 30 minutes to bring her back?"

"…Because I wanted to be able to say I did everything I could," he admitted quietly.

"Exactly. There should be more surgeons like you, which means you can't give up because your practice failed. Even if you have someone's life in your hands, you unfortunately can't play God. Sometimes there's nothing you can do."

"But what if there was? What if I had done protocol earlier? What if -"

"What if you suddenly found a donor? It's not fair to blame yourself for something that was completely out of your control." He didn't say anything.

"You know, I thought for the longest time that I caused my dad's death. I still do sometimes, it's only natural. What if I hadn't gone into that room, what if I hadn't been in Japan. There are too many what ifs to keep track of them all. If you made a mistake, that's one thing. But if you are constantly having to imagine different situations that could or couldn't end in the same way, then you didn't do anything wrong."

"Where did you learn to do that?" he mused.

"Do what?"

"Despite what you seem to think about your social capabilities, you can relate to basically anyone on this planet."

"Well, I've learned from the best," I teased lightly, hoping that a little joke would help somehow. Anything to keep him from being sad. He chuckled once, to my utter disbelief.

"Shit," he sighed, raising his gaze to the ceiling. I watched him do so from my position on his shoulder. "I absolutely love you. Just in case you didn't know." I smiled in spite of myself, unable to control my reaction.

"Yeah, yeah, I do too."

"I'm serious." He turned to me now, a lighter, somewhat happier expression on his face. "I love you so much, and it doesn't even matter if you're my girlfriend or not. Why do you think that is?" I sat up and pursed my lips, thinking.

"You really shouldn't be asking _me_ this question. Half the time, I don't understand why you do," I admitted sheepishly after a minute of not being able to draw a logical conclusion. He rolled his eyes.

"So anyway," I started again, trying to get off of this subject. "These things just happen. I'm really sorry it did to you, but at the very least, that girl probably didn't die with any regrets, and that alone is because of you." He watched me as I said this, the hurt still palpable in his eyes.

I thought he was going to say something, anything at all, but instead he reached behind me and placed his warm hand on the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him as he leaned in and kissed me with more adoration and love than he ever had before.

**AN: Yayyyy~! Read and review :] suggestions are welcome, but don't be surprised if I don't abide by your requests xD Thanks for readingg~**


	39. Chapter 39: Caught

"Ne, Chiro," I breathed hotly as he pulled back for a split second. Somehow we had ended up laying _on_ the actual bed in which he was basically on top of me while we both struggled for air. Everything was moving so fast it was making my head spin. "Should we really – be doing this?" He grunted and continued to kiss me. I took that as a no.

What was I supposed to do? Obviously, Ichiro had had a terrible day, and all I wanted to do was fix whatever had caused him to lose his normally calm and peaceful disguise. Actually, it was hardly ever a disguise, that's just how he usually was. He typically sought for the brighter parts of anything that would seem problematic to a pessimist such as myself; It was something I had grown to love about him. This relapse of his that had taken place today – it just wasn't right. It didn't fit on his face, in his body language, in his voice. How could I possibly let him continue like this, even if it was just one bad day?

So there I was, stuck between a rock and a hard place. I was almost positive that we shouldn't be heading in this direction, _especially _at the rate we were going, but at the same time, he had initiated it, so did that mean he just…needed someone?

And it wasn't like this was a particular burden for me per se…so maybe the best idea would be to keep going.

Or not. This could completely ruin _everything_. Heiji already knew about the _first_ time this had happened, and that was a complete accident as I had gotten a bit carried away at that police station…but who's to say that wouldn't happen again? And what if my _mother_ somehow found out? Sometimes I got the feeling that she was a reincarnated deity nobody remembered or recognized even though she saw nearly _everything_ there was to see. That thought alone twisted my stomach into knots. I placed my palms on Ichiro's chest and pushed gently. He groaned in protest as we broke contact momentarily once again.

"I don't know - if this is - a good idea," I huffed, looking up at him earnestly. His eyes were slightly crazed, but still had that heart wrenching sadness in them. Clearly, he was confused as to why I was pulling away.

"What, so you're the only on that gets to do this type of thing?" He leaned in and kissed along my jawline as I fought the fog that was enveloping my mind. What had he just said?

And then it registered. This was a total guilt trip. So unlike Ichiro, but at the same time, he usually knew what he had to do to get what he wanted. It was just a matter of him actually…well, doing it.

Seemingly long ago, I had barged into this very house and had forced the idea upon him without giving him the chance to protest at all. Sure, he had at certain points intervened and tried to right the situation, but I hadn't let him. Eventually he just stopped trying to challenge my judgment.

The amount of guilt I felt for my actions was immeasurable, especially after I connected the entirety of the situation and was sentenced to stew about it until he finally came back, and even then…

To this day I knew what I had done was wrong. I put him in a bad place, a place that we both knew he couldn't get out of even if he had tried. I knew he would do anything for me to keep me happy; the guy had taken a _bullet_ for me for God's sakes.

And now it was his turn. He was playing dirty, and there was nothing I could do to stop him.

"I-I'm sorry, Chiro," I stuttered. "I never meant -"

"I don't care," he grumbled, and his lips crashed down onto mine once again. His hands were handling my hips delicately until my torso arched under his touch, allowing them to slowly rise to caress my back. He subtly reached for the zipper of my bridesmaid dress, which I just remembered I was wearing when I probably shouldn't have been, and began to tease it down as he continued to kiss me passionately. My heart was on fire, and I wasn't sure if it was the good or the bad kind. Judo whimpered from somewhere off to the side, signifying that it was probably the latter.

His judgment was impaired, it was plainly obvious. But hadn't mine been just the same? How could I refuse him when he had so graciously accepted me? Granted, he did leave the country the morning after, but still. We did it anyway.

And now, I was sacrificing a large part of myself. I had already decided before I had begun my deliberation; this was going to happen, if only so I could make it up to him.

Something told me that this was the wrong reason to participate in something as in depth as sex. But what was I supposed to do? I was powerless to stop him, and by this time the guilt was beginning to eat me alive. I hoped and prayed to whoever was up there screwing around with my life that this would be the solution to all of my guilt, and that afterward, everything would right itself and be as it should.

There were no dreams, but it wasn't a blissful sleep. I felt rested, but it was like my mind had been whirring the whole time I was sleeping. I sighed and dug my face deeper into my pillow, trying to rid my head of these thoughts. Was this why Ichiro had left? I felt like I had a full understanding of his decision now; my brain was driving me nuts.

I felt a light, tickling sensation grazing slowly up and down my backbone. He knew I was awake. I let one of my eyelids peek open to find him closer than I expected, his face rested and more relaxed now as he stared at my back, following his fingers as they traced.

"You're still here," I teased thickly, hoping it wasn't too early to joke about this. His small smile perked up a tiny bit when he finally made eye contact.

"I half expected _you_ to be gone, not me."

"Please. I have no reason to leave. Where would I go?" I shifted so that my head lay on my crossed arms across my pillow.

"I don't know. What if you went back to Korea? Have you ever thought about it?"

"Aniyo. There's nothing left for me there. I only remember a few things about it."

"Like what?" He wondered, honestly interested as he continued to use his fingertips to trace the contours of my bare back. My heart burned, but Judo didn't stir, so it didn't seem like such a bad thing.

"Hmm," I said thoughtfully, looking up towards my brain to search for memories. "My father inherited this really nice house from his step-father. It was like living outside almost. When you walked into the tall entrance gate that served as a front door, there was this big tree in the middle of all this grass that led to steps. There was a small living room built into that floor, a kitchen off to the other side, and then the bedrooms were on the right. If it rained or something, there were sliding doors that closed everything off, but for the most part we lived outside. There were always flowers too, I think. My Appa would take me to a creek nearby…I don't remember what we did there though. He made the best juk. I remember that for sure, because when we moved here he stopped making it. I guess he was busy."

"Sounds nice," Ichiro murmured, laying his head down so he was meeting my eye level. "Would you ever go back, if given the chance?"

"…Are you proposing we move there or something?" I cocked an eyebrow suspiciously at him.

"No, nothing like that. I'm just curious. I can't imagine having a different home country and not ever going back to it."

"That's because you _live_ in your home country. Maybe if I had lived in Korea for longer than I did I would want to return, but honestly…" I bunched the sheets up around my chest and propped my head up on my elbow. "I think it might be too depressing." He nodded in understanding.

"I see."

"I'll take you though. I'll show you where I partially grew up."

"Partially?" he questioned with an amused expression.

"Well yeah. I'd go so far as to say that Osaka is my hometown. Ne, do I sound like I'm from Osaka?" I asked playfully.

"…To be honest, your Japanese is a tad different now than it was before that whole Black Organization thing, what with you losing your ability to speak it for a while and all that. Before though, you _may_ have passed as a native Osakan. When you first moved here, I'm pretty sure neither of us knew what the other was saying. You had _no_ background with the Japanese language." I frowned at this, causing him to chuckle.

"That's not a bad thing. I'm sure my Korean is pretty subpar."

"Your Korean isn't bad at all!" I reached up and shoved his shoulder gently, laughing at him. "I wish my mom cared about that."

"What do you mean?" he asked with his brows furrowed.

"You could have been born in Korea and lived there for your entire life, but if your parents are Japanese, it doesn't matter to her. And even though that sounds racist, it's just…let's just say that that isn't entirely unusual for a Korean parent to think. Is it the same for Japanese parents?"

"…I'm not sure, actually. Mine don't really care what I do…" I sighed and reached up to smooth the confused wrinkle above the bridge of his nose.

"They care, Chiro. They just know that you're independent and can take care of yourself. Ne, where are they anyway? Do they know you went to America?"

"Uhm…" he stammered uncomfortably. "Not exactly…I think they're still in Kyoto…"

"Chiro," I scolded. "Honestly."

"Well it's not like they try to keep up with me!" he tried to defend himself. "Only my mom does, and even she only calls maybe once every two months." I scrunched my nose up in disgust.

"You should call her. Make sure she knows about you."

"Knows about me? Kokone, that woman _raised_ me, I doubt she's already forgotten who I am." I rolled my eyes at him.

"No, no, I mean about what's going _on_ with you. What if you were to have gotten in an accident in America? Ah? No one would have known to call your parents or anything!"

"Yeah but I _didn't_ get in an accident, so that argument is irrelevant." I smacked him on the forehead.

"Aishhh, and you call _me_ stubborn."

"Only because you are," A witty smile sprang across his face, and I couldn't help but follow his example. After a moment of eye contact he shifted uncomfortably and started to get out of bed.

"I should probably shower before work…" he mumbled mostly to himself.

"You have to work again today? Even after what happened?" He turned to me with a look of sadness lingering in his eyes as he pulled on some sweats.

"My boss says we can't wait on the dead. Life goes on." He sighed and ran a hand through his messy hair. "I suppose he's right." I nodded subtly, waiting for him to say more. Instead, he awkwardly cleared his throat and left the room.

So he eventually noticed that I was naked, I thought to myself, shaking my head. Men.

I held the blankets to my chest as I reached towards the floor to grab my clothes. My fist brought up a bunched up bridesmaid dress, and I blanked. This was what I was wearing? Well I couldn't put this back on _now_ of all times…_I should probably get this dry cleaned before Kazuha notices it's gone. So many wrinkles._

Unwillingly, I yanked the sheets from their tucked in position at the bottom of the mattress and wrapped them around me like a towel. All I needed to do was make it safely to my room, and I was all set. As I padded down the hallway I heard the shower running, so facing Ichiro wasn't going to be a problem.

But then Judo started barking. I looked at him curiously and checked my pulse. Nothing wrong there, I thought.

"Judo? What is it?" And then I heard pounding on the door from downstairs. Following that, a voice. A rather distinctive voice, I might add.

"Oh God," I muttered, flying into a panic. Why does Heiji always come unannounced? I asked myself bitterly. I started to run to my room, but promptly tripped on the sheets wrapped around me, causing a solid thud to emanate from where I smacked onto the wood floor.

"Mother f-" I started under my breath, trying to untangle my legs from the sheets so I could get up without exposing anything. This _would_ happen to me now of all the possible times…

"Kokone? Ichiro-san?" I heard Heiji holler impatiently. My heart rate noticeably increased as I struggled to get up. This was definitely not helping, I realized later; I was creating more noise by trying to get up than I would have if I had just stayed calm. "Oiiiii, I know at least _one_ of you is here! The car is still in the driveway!" What happened next was a rather unfortunate occurrence, as Heiji noticed either the running water, the scuttling I was making on the floor, or both and decided to check it out. I could hear him stomping up the stairs, and the hairs on my arms stood up in anticipation as I continued to claw my way towards my room. Only a few more steps and he would definitely notice me, I thought in a frenzy. Come on!

But it was too late. I had been counting the steps he was taking, and realized there were only 3 more until he was at the top of the staircase. My body went slack as I sighed in frustration, then I sat up and readied myself for whatever ruthless teasing was going to come next. With my legs still folded and tangled under the sheets, I gripped them tighter around my torso and leaned back against the wall, inhaling deeply to keep myself from cussing out loud.

I watched as his head poked up. Two steps. One step. He was at the top now, leaning slightly to the side to get a better look into Ichiro's room.

"Hm. Must be in the -" when he turned to go back downstairs, he spotted me, and it only took him half a second to recognize the given situation. His jaw went slack and his eyes almost seemed angry, for some odd reason.

"What – why – are you- ?" He stuttered for a moment. I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Yes, I am naked. Yes, I slept with Ichiro. Any other questions?" His eyebrows deepened into a scowl as he started to scold me.

"Oi, first you sleep with him the night before he leaves without telling _anyone_, and now you're here _living _with the guy and friggin' sleeping with him whenever the hell you want -"

"Hey!" I protested. "I do not sleep with him whenever I want! This has only happened once so far!"

"So far!" he scoffed, looking up to the ceiling. "What's _he_ doing, showering? He's not gonna up and leave again, is he? Boy, I have half a mind to slaughter him -"

"Heiji!" I yelled in disbelief. "He's not going anywhere, okay? And it wasn't even his fault in the first place. Why don't you mind your own business and get out so I can get dressed!" I tried standing again, but this proved to be impossible.

"Because it _is_ my business! I've had enough of people using you, Kone-chan, how am I supposed to keep you sane and alive if you let these things happen all the time!" I gaped.

"All the _time?_ Just stay out of it, Heiji!" I smacked the sheets with my free hand for emphasis as I formally gave up trying to get back on my feet. He sighed and shook his head, trying to calm himself. Next, he took a few steps forward and held out his hand. I look at it with hostility.

"Mwo," I stated darkly.

"Come on, I'll help you up…dirty girl…" he mumbled under his breath. I chose to ignore him as I reluctantly placed my free hand into his so he could help pull me up.

"Matte, matte," he said as he bent over to free my feet from the bunched up sheets at the bottom. "Alright, there you go." He did this in the manner of a parent or an older sibling, which struck me as odd for someone like Heiji.

"…Thanks," I grumbled, though I really was grateful. I started for my bedroom.

"If he leaves again, Kokone -"

"He won't. But I appreciate your concern."

"Do you?" I turned around to face him again, daring him to continue. "No offense, Kone-chan, but you're kind of like my baby sister. You just got back on your feet, don't go all in only to lose it all again." I regarded him carefully. Had something deep and intelligent just come out of his mouth?

Instead of arguing though, I smiled slightly.

"Thank you, Oppa," I said sweetly, causing his eyes to widen. Obviously he didn't like this term.

"Oi, I never said I _wanted_ to be your big brother, don't call me Oppa!"

"Ichiro should be out of the shower soon. I'll just go get dressed and meet you downstairs, hm, Heiji-oppa?" I teased him. This would be fun to experiment with. He scowled.

"Whatever…psycho crazy girl…" He mumbled a few choice words under his breath, but that only made me smile more as I made my way to my room and shut the door.

**AN: For those that don't know, Oppa is a term used in Korea for older brothers and/or older guys that you know well enough to call them that. Don't get it confused with Appa, because that means Daddy, and that would just be extremely awkward for Heiji, now wouldn't it be? LOL.**

**I'm trying to write as much as I can guys! School and the future are keeping me pretty occupied unfortunately, even though I'd much rather read, write or watch Detective Conan all day -_- But thanks for reading! Reviews are always appreciated~ :]**


	40. Chapter 40: Try Again

When I got downstairs, the tension in the room was as palpable as the steam found in a sauna. I literally had to halt myself at the very bottom of the staircase to observe the situation.

Ichiro was eating his eggs, one of the only sounds in the room consisting of his fork tinkling against the plate when he took another bite. He was trying very hard to read the paper, but was every once and a while was forced to glance up nervously to see if a certain someone was still watching him.

That's when I noticed Heiji, who was holding his coffee cup directly in front of him as he was leaned back in his chair, sipping it in a menacing way occasionally. His eyes never left Ichiro, and his glare probably would have been able to kill small animals. I would have liked to see him try to deduce that murder trick.

…And there was a nice, steaming plate of eggs on the other side of the table across from the two of them courtesy of Ichiro, no doubt. I bit my lip and walked towards the table to take my seat. Neither of them seemed to notice me yet.

As I ate cautiously, I watched them. The clock on the wall above us was ticking loudly, as if trying to emphasize that time was still passing, and that no amount of staring would make it go by any faster. Each second dragged out, and I began to time when Ichiro would look up.

Shift. 5 seconds later, shift again. 4.5 seconds later, glance up. 5 seconds later, look again. Finally I had had enough of it.

"Heiji," I sighed tiredly, "would you _please_ stop staring at Ichiro?" They both jumped ever so slightly, as if just noticing my presence. Ichiro looked up at me curiously and a smile flickered across his face before he glanced over at Heiji once again, which caused him to immediately turn to face his paper in fear. Heiji's eyes narrowed, and I recognized this familiar position that he resorted to every time he was watching a police interrogation. His gaze during these times always made me nervous, so I usually opted out. I waited for someone to make a remark of some sort, but nothing happened.

"…Oppa." I stated numbly, hoping to grab Heiji's attention. Ichiro looked up voluntarily then and shifted his gaze between me and Heiji, obviously concerned as to where this newfound brother of mine came from. Heiji's eyebrows rose as he took another sip of his coffee, like he was daring me to continue.

"Who's Oppa? Are _you_ Oppa?" Ichiro asked, pointing at Heiji with his fork in incredulousness.

"_She_ seems to think so." And suddenly the attention was directed towards me, something I now realized I had no desire to have happen.

"Uhm – so…." I started awkwardly. "Why are you here?" Heiji shifted forward and placed his coffee cup on the table.

"Kazuha wanted me to pick up the bridesmaid dress you evidently had on last night when she left. _Had_ on," he emphasized. Ichiro nearly choked on his eggs. My eye twitched as my free hand strangled into a tight fist.

"Hattori Heiji, do you have a death wish?" I asked carefully through gritted teeth.

"Certainly not. If you still had the dress on, we wouldn't be having so many…problems." He said this last word as he glared icily towards Ichiro. I stood up and huffed angrily.

"That's _enough_. Who says you can involve yourself in my sex life, ah? I'll get the damn dress, just stay _out_ of it. What's so wrong with this anyway?"

"Uh, Kokone -" Ichiro interjected clumsily.

"Nothing is _wrong_ really – it's just -" Heiji stopped as he stood up and shoved his hands in his pocket. His facial expression suggested that he didn't quite know how to explain himself. "If I don't know what's going on, then I can't do anything!"

"Why would you need to _do _anything?" He ran a hand through his hair as I demanded this, clearly frustrated and reluctant to speak something that was rather uncommon for an otherwise loud and talkative Hattori Heiji.

"I had no idea that that was why he left!" He cried, exasperated. Ichiro's eyebrows furrowed as he began to become legitimately concerned about the situation. "No one told me it was because you guys slept together or anything like that, no one bothered to give me even the _slightest_ clue!" Now he turned to Ichiro. "You know what happened when you went to America? _Bad things happened, Ichiro-san._ Her idiot of an ex-husband treated her like yesterday's newspaper -"

"Yesterday's _newspaper_?" I interrupted. He ignored me.

"- And she was a downright _mess._ There was nothing I could do. I couldn't help, I couldn't even figure out any possible solutions. You know what it's like to watch someone you actually give a damn about suffer when you can't do a single thing about it?" Heiji's eyes were pleading, begging Ichiro to understand. Ichiro swallowed nervously before answering.

"Uhm – to some extent, yes."

"Well then you understand why it makes me mad that I'm just now figuring out there was a legitimate reason for all of it? And why it scares the _crap_ out of me to have history repeat itself?" He was hysterical now, so much so that neither of us knew what to say as we exchanged a look.

"You _saw_ what happened to her, Ichiro-san. She was sick. And now that she's starting to get better, I don't want you screwing things up, literally _or_ figuratively." He pointed an accusatory finger at Ichiro, who stared at it as if it were equivalent to the gun he had been shot with way back when.

"Oppa, honestly," I sighed heatedly towards the screwing things up comment.

"I'm being completely serious right now!" He protested like a child. I half expected him to stamp his foot. It was quiet for a long, awkward moment.

"Uh – I'll go get the dress…" I muttered pathetically, completely mystified as to what had just happened while I made way for the stairs. I successfully retrieved the dress from Ichiro's room and tried to smooth the wrinkles out as I found the dress bag to hang it in. As I left my room and headed back downstairs, I heard lowered voices, and decided to be a temporary eavesdropper.

"…Ne, Hattori. History won't repeat itself, alright? Things were a bit more complicated back then -"

"How can I be sure of that?" A sigh from someone, presumably Ichiro.

"I don't know. You're just going to have to trust me. Don't you? Trust me, I mean? Hattori come on, we're friends. You've known me since like 1st grade. You should at least be able to recognize that I'm being sincere when I say that I'm not going to let anything happen."

"…What freaks me out the most actually is not that you'll screw things up, but that even if I did know what was going on, I still wouldn't be able to do anything. Kokone is more fragile than she lets on, ne? What am I supposed to do if she relapses again?"

"Hattori, she won't relapse. I won't let that happen. I know you think that history is doomed to repeat itself for some reason, but the circumstances are different now. Plus…I really do love her. Hey, don't make that face at me, you know it's true just as well as everyone else does! And also, it's not your job to fix her if she does happen to relapse for whatever reason. It may not seem like it, but she's a big girl. She can handle herself. She's been doing it for the past 24 years."

"Hmph," Heiji grumbled. "I can't say I'm happy with this. And I don't know if I can trust you with her, but – hey, why are you laughing at me!" A solid thud ensued, and Ichiro busted out laughing.

"Ow!" He complained playfully. "I'm not _laughing_ at you, I just think it's funny…look at you, acting all big brotherly. No wonder she's calling you Oppa. That's kind of an honor, you know."

"Yeah, yeah whatever. Anyway, I'm still not happy about this."

"I know you aren't. We're still figuring things out. In the meantime, you should _probably_ focus on _your_ relationship…aren't you supposed to be getting married, or was that just a rumor?"

I shook my head quickly, trying to gather my composure before I fully descended the stairs. However, I wasn't completely sure if I fully regretted my eavesdropping, but either way it seemed wrong to keep it up.

"Here's the dress," I cheerfully bounced down the last few steps and held it out carefully to Heiji, who was sitting down once again. He stood up and took it just as cautiously, clearly unsure as to what he was supposed to do with the dress now that he actually had it in his hands.

"To answer your question, Ichiro-san, we decided on a date last night. Kazuha wants to have the wedding in March sometime…was it the 20th? I dunno, I'll have to check the calendar again -"

"Heiji!" I scolded. "At least have the decency to remember the day of your own wedding!"

"I'll remember, I'll remember, sheesh. Anyway, I should probably get going, see you guys later." He gave one last cold, hard yet urgent glance towards Ichiro, who didn't react nearly as much as he had only minutes before.

"Oh, get out of here already," I said as I shoved him towards the exit. Once he was gone, I whistled once in relief and turned back to the kitchen. Ichiro was watching me, as I was him, for what seemed like an eternity before he cleared his throat.

"I should probably get going -"

"Ichiro." He stopped in his tracks on his way to the sink with his empty plate, waiting for me to continue. "I love you. You know that, right?"

"Uh…yeah, of course. We talked about this, didn't we?"

"Well sure, but…I just wanted to make sure. So what happened last night wasn't…weird….right?" My feet seemed to itch; I couldn't keep completely still.

"No – no, of course not. Uhm, if you don't mind me asking…" He stepped closer to the sink and set his plate in the basin carefully before continuing. "What are we?"

"What are we?" I repeated. "Well…what do you want to be?" Déjà vu, I thought bitterly as butterflies began to explode in my stomach.

"I think…we should try again. What do _you_ think?"

What _did_ I think? Alarms of all different kinds were blaring in my brain: _Danger, danger, entering dependency mode!_ After a minute of deliberation, I was able to at least quell these spurts of warning with a few Calm Downs and This Is the Good Kind of Commitments!

For a moment, I was able to think clearly: what if I messed this all up singlehandedly? I had done it once, I could certainly do it again…

But he had been right; the circumstances were completely different now. Hyo Yeoung was not even a fraction of the equation, I was pretty sure Ichiro didn't care much for Hikari in the first place, and even my _mother_ wouldn't have much a say now that she realized what she had so obviously caused.

The only thing that really stood in our way was Heiji, but he wasn't so much of a threat. I could totally take him.

_Kokone, you might want to consider answering him sometime soon_, a voice interrupted my thought process. I blinked, and was relieved to figure out that only mere seconds had passed.

"I think…we should. The worst that could happen has already happened…right?" I smiled wryly to prove that this was okay – that _we_ were okay. His mouth twitched into that crooked half smile that I loved so much.

"I suppose so. Well, I'd better get going, so have a nice day. I should be home before dinner, but if not…"

"Yeah, yeah, you're busy saving the world one life at a time." He shook his head as if I were just so absurd, grabbing his jacket off of the chair and slinging it on while simultaneously grabbing his keys.

"Don't get into _too_ much trouble, ah?" He teased as he was about to walk past me. Suddenly his arms were around me in a gentle hug that caught me off-guard.

"Yes, mother." He chuckled lightly and pulled away, only to give me a light, airy kiss on the forehead before ultimately leaving the kitchen, waving as he went.

"See you tonight."

"H-Hai…" I mumbled, dumbfounded. It was odd; hardly anyone would expect Ichiro to be as confident as he was at times, like now for instance. Normally he was that laid back, observer-in-the-crowd type, but for some reason, he seemed to know just exactly when he needed to step up to make me look like one of those love-struck groupies I usually scoffed at. I cursed his special abilities silently as I struggled to calm the massive feathered creatures that just _had_ to be ravaging my insides at that point.

Before I could even consider what I should do next, the phone rang. I reached out the grab it curiously.

"Hello?"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU_ TELL_ ME!" I actually had to pull the phone away from my ear as I decidedly told Heiji where he could go in my head.

"Jesus, Kazuha, are you sure the Kudos didn't hear you in Tokyo?" She ignored my jibe and continued, though quieter and with more control.

"I'm so _excited_ for you and Ogawa-san. You two are just so _cute_. You know, I have this picture that I keep forgetting to show you, it's just absolutely _adorable!_" She squealed.

"…That's…kind of weird, Kazuha," I said honestly, because it was.

"Oh, shoo, it's not weird," she shoved this absurd notion aside casually, I imagined with a wave of her engagement ring-clad hand. "We'll all get together sometime soon and I'll bring it. I personally think you should enlarge it and frame it or _something_."

"Uhm, before I outright object to this suggestion, what exactly _is_ the picture of?"

"Oh, this one's actually a few months old," she noted to herself as if just noticing. "Huh. Sometime in June perhaps? Oh! It was July wasn't it? We had gotten together for the Star Festival, had a barbeque and all that -"

"…So…what is it a picture of? The sky?"

"Kokone," she stated dully, the way she always did when I made sarcastic comments. I imagine if I were male like Heiji then she would probably go a lot further and yell at me more often. "It's of you and Ichiro, of course! You two were sitting on the bench in the backyard, you were on his lap…? Ring any bells?" My face flushed at this description, but it unfortunately didn't really register, so I was forced to ask her to continue.

"Uh, not really…no."

"Oh, it's just so _cute_. You were on his lap, he was pointing out constellations and such to us. Then I told you two that I was going to take a picture, so you both looked at the camera, but you didn't want me to take a picture…? Still nothing?" Vague memories and flashes of that night were popping up. When I didn't answer, she continued anyway.

"Anyway, to get you to give up and smile, Ichiro tickled you right when I was snapping the picture. You both look so happy." She said this as if it just warmed her very soul. Meanwhile, I was dying to see this picture.

"…Is there any way I can come pick it up…say…now?" I asked hurriedly. She giggled in triumph.

"Of course! Are you busy today? We can have a girls day, Kokone-chan! I've been due for one for quite some time, we can look at old pictures, talk about high school, eat food -"

"Yeah, yeah, sounds great. I'll be there soon." I was about to hang up when she protested.

"Kokone Kokone Kokone wait!"

"What?"

"…Don't mind Heiji. I'll smack some sense into him. Meanwhile, I'm _so_ happy for you. Really. You deserve this."

"Th-thanks…?" I stuttered, because I honestly didn't know what to say. "Uhm, I'm hanging up now."

"Okay! See you soon." I hung up the phone and exhaled.

I did deserve this, didn't I?

**AN:**__**Wheeee, another cutesy chapter~! Plus some mild anger spurts from yours truly – Hattori Heiji. Such a silly detective, he is.**

**Okay guys, I have a teeny tiny poll for you to participate in via either email, messaging, reviewing etc, because I can't decide for sure which plot line I should go with. I mean, it will ultimately end up to be the same I suppose, but it's the middle details that make the ones that follow BOOM, am I right? ;D So anyway, here it goes:**

**A: Kazuha and Heiji get married **_**before**_** Kokone and Ichiro (because we all know that that will happen eventually, I promise).**

**OR**

**B: Kokone and Ichiro get married **_**before**_** Kazuha and Heiji, and if so…**

**They elope on any old normal day just for the hell of it (if this ends up being the choice, I promise to make it fluffier than it sounds. Personally, if I were to choose for them to get married first this is how I would do it since it just doesn't fit Kokone's personality to have an elaborate wedding, but the choice is yours.)**

**They have an actual, nice wedding, most likely planned by Kazuha and Ran (Kokone: OHGOODGOD.).**

**So really, you have 3 choices. This would really help me out if I have at least 4 people take this poll, okiedokie? It'd really help me to avoid writer's block. :] Please&thanksyous~!**

**Thanks to those that are reading, and reviews are appreciated, as always.**

**Annyeounggg~~[:**


	41. Chapter 41: Be Careful What you Wish For

I arrived at Kazuha and Heiji's house in no time flat, regardless of the fact that I had to walk. Heiji was not there, thank _God_, but Kazuha nearly tackled me before I could actually knock on the door.

"Come in, come in!" she ushered excitedly. "I have some of the _best_ tea boiling right now, and I've got snacks and photo albums – oh, this is going to be _so_ fun. Plus, you can help me with a few more teeny tiny details for the wedding." She emphasized just how teeny tiny these details were by creating an infinitesimal space between her fingers, playing innocent as usual. My eyes widened; this had _not_ been my original plan. All I really wanted to do was see that picture…

Okay, so I supposed it didn't sound _too_ terrible – the concept of spending the day with Kazuha, I mean. I was actually not that opposed to having some time with a girlfriend after everything that had gone down in the past few weeks. But quite honestly, I never knew what to say when it came to Kazuha's wedding.

Yes, that's right, _Kazuha's_ wedding. Not Heiji's. Just Kazuha's. For all he knew, he could be getting married tomorrow. The oblivious little –

"Which one do you want to look through first? You know, I was thinking we could pick out a few of me and Heiji or our families to make a little collage type thing. Would that be too cheesy?"

"…Depends on the picture," I stated simply as I slipped off my shoes and followed her into the house. She led me to the living room, and it didn't entirely surprise me to find a circle of photo albums and assorted binders littering the floor. I sighed and chose a spot in the middle of it all, plopping myself down right next to an album with pink and white checkered pattern all over it. I looked up at Kazuha, who was beaming. Did being engaged really make people this happy? I tried to remember if Ran was the same way or not…

"Perfect, you get started. I'll go get the food and tea." She giggled lightly to herself in a bubbly manner as she bounced towards the kitchen. I shook my head as if to suggest how naïve she was when in all honesty I was just a tad jealous, though I had no idea why. Instead of focusing on that however, I turned to the nearest binder.

It was simply blue, with a flowery border around the edges. I picked it up and set it in my lap gently, careful not to damage the perfectly rounded corners. For some reason it was surprisingly exciting to open that album, if only to catch a glimpse of whoever's past lay inside.

The first set of pictures was solely scenic, one being of a sunset while another was of a tree on a cloudless day. My heart ached dully as I flashed back to the many paintings Hyo Yeoung had completed since I had known him. I couldn't deal with it, so I closed the album without another look and placed it back on the floor with distaste. Reluctantly, I reached for another one a few inches away.

This one contained pictures of what seemed to be Kazuha's family: a woman that I could only assume was Kazuha's mother was holding Kazuha tightly in her arms, smiling brightly at the camera, then one with the same woman as well as Kazuha and her father. Other relatives seemed to be appearing as I turned the pages carefully. So many family members.

"That's one of my favorite ones." I looked up, startled to find Kazuha standing over me smiling slightly with a tray poised in her hands. She knelt over to place it in front of us before taking a seat next to me.

"Who are all these people?" I asked, mystified. Where to begin…

"My family, Kokone-chan," she said as if were just so obvious. "These people here live in Kyoto. And this one here, he's my cousin. He's young, isn't he? I think he turned 7 this past summer." I watched her fingers as the grazed over all the faces that were so familiar to her, completely absorbed.

"Do you have any cousins, Kokone-chan?" She asked innocently.

"Not that I know of," I somewhat grumbled. My mother refused to speak of Korea unless she was threatening me – _In Korea, you do not act like a barbarian, even in your own home! _– and the fact that I didn't remember much about living there didn't help. As far as I knew though, my father's mother and step father were both dead, and he had no siblings of any sort. My mother was the only mystery here.

"Really?" she asked, astonished. "No aunts, uncles? Cousins? Second cousins?" I shook my head. "Wow…" Then she suddenly smiled. "We're close, ne Kokone-chan? We're family. You and Heiji are family too, hmmm?"

"…Did he tell you about that too?" I asked acidly, silently cursing him. He was such a blabber mouth.

"About you calling him your brother from now on? Yeah." She seemed to delight in this. "So we'll officially be sisters after I finally get married, Kokone-chan!" She squealed delightfully, circling an arm around my neck as she reached across me for another album.

"This is a good one. Heiji's in this one." She plunked it in my lap and gestured for me to open it. I did so, and was already surprised by how cute Heiji was as a child.

"Omo!" I gasped, leaning in to see one particular picture of him holding a katana proudly, still in his uniform. That was Heiji alright, except at the time he was probably 7 or 8 years old and was absurdly adorable, whereas now…

Eh. He wasn't so bad.

Somehow he looked different to me in this picture, though I had known him since the first grade. How had I not noticed how different he was until now?

"Kazuha," I nudged her playfully. "He's so cuuuuuute!"

"I know," she smiled knowingly, as if she were his proud mother. "He hates it when people comment about that. You should bring it up next time you see him."

"I don't _want_ to fight with him though…especially after seeing this adorable picture." I shook my head in disgust, as if it was just so unfortunate that he was cuter than a tiny little puppy and yet so damn annoying.

"Hmmm," she hummed in agreement. "He's being difficult. That's just how he is. I don't understand completely why he is this time though…I honestly thought he _liked_ the idea of you and Ichiro being together. He certainly didn't mind the first time, right?"

"Well…things are a tad different now…" I started awkwardly, not sure how to explain the situation. Had he not told about what had actually happened the night before my wedding?

"_I'll_ say. But it's a good different, isn't it? You got divorced, you live with him. These are all _good_ things."

"…I think he's more upset about a whole other part of this er…occasion…"

"What part?" She cocked her head to the side, honestly curious.

"Uhm…" I bit my lip. "You remember the day I got married? I called you, told you to be my alibi or whatever?"

"Mhm?" She nodded in encouragement. "From 9 PM to 6 in the morning. I remember."

"Okay, well…I was…" I was at a loss for words, was what I _really _wanted to say. I hadn't realized how scandalous this was until I was about to admit to it right then. She waited, trying to figure it out. Then, her eyes got wide as saucers out of nowhere.

"_No_," she scoffed. "Did you see Ichiro…?" My face was getting hot.

"Uh – more or less…"

"Kokone-chan!" she shoved my shoulder slightly. "You slept with him!"

"Rrrright…so that _might_ be why he's mad…Now, I'm not sure if it's because he didn't know at the time or because Ichiro left afterwards, but I'm leaning more towards the latter…" She gasped again as this detail clicked.

"He _left_! Oh my gosh, he _left_ the morning after? And weren't you at his house? How rude!" She picked up a slice of cucumber from the tray and popped it in her mouth as she let this sink in.

"Y-Yeah, but…you can't really _blame_ him. Which is why Heiji and I are butting heads right now." She shook her head as she chewed, clearly blown away by this confession of sorts.

"I never would have guessed. I thought you had gone to Tokyo or something. Little did I know…"

"Yeah, yeah, I was sleeping with Ichiro. Can we move on? Hey, where's that picture you were telling me about?" I asked, suddenly remembering the sole reason I was even there.

"Oh!" She lit up, her hands fluttering around in an effort to locate the misplaced photo. "That's right! It's just so sweet, Kokone-chan. You should have it. Here it is!" She came up with a single picture after she shifted through a small pile, handing it over for me to see.

It was just as she had described. I had been sitting on Ichiro's lap, my legs crossed and dangling off of the edge of the bench. My hands were loosely hanging around his neck while his were curled slightly around my waist. At the time of the photo though, one of his hands was gripping my side securely while the other was poking my stomach. His face was bright and fascinated while mine exhibited all the symptoms of joyful laughter. I had my hand placed over the one that was tickling me, and could almost hear myself begging him to stop through my fits of giggles. It was such a perfectly captured moment that I had to sit there and absorb it all before I could speak.

"Didn't I tell you?" Kazuha prodded.

"Y-Yeah. You sure did…" I mumbled.

"Take it home to show Ichiro-san, hm? You should have it framed!" Here we go again, I thought.

"I don't know about that but…thanks. This is a nice picture," I smiled happily. She nodded as she returned the grin.

"It is. Now, let's get down to business, shall we?"

We spent the rest of the day going over small details (she talked and decided while I mhmed and basically did nothing) for the wedding, made a few decisions over the dresses and such. I hadn't realized what time it was until Heiji came home, grumbling to himself as he shook off his sports jacket and rolled up his sleeves.

"Tadaima," he finally said in a grumpy voice as he stalked into the kitchen.

"How was your day, Heiji?" Kazuha asked without so much as looking up. This must have been routine.

"It was fine." He said this in a way that clearly stated the exact opposite. Now he was walking back into the living room, a beer in his hand. He saw me and stopped what he was doing.

"Uh…hey."

"Hey," I muttered awkwardly. He cleared his throat and took a swig of his beer, looking elsewhere for a few silent minutes. Kazuha was sifting through pictures still, either legitimately not noticing the given situation or intentionally choosing not to.

"I'm…gonna go shower," he finally stated in a resounding tone. He sighed and started down the hallway that evidently led to their room.

"Ne, Kazuha, what time is it?" I asked after he was gone.

"Mmm, 9 maybe?"

"Oh. I should probably get going then. I'll see you later, alright?" I started to get up, tucking that picture into my back pocket as I did.

"Are you sure? Thanks for your help, Kokone-chan." Her legs were buried in pictures of all different types – some of her and Heiji, some of just her, some of just him, some of family – so I motioned for her to stay where she was.

"Right, no problem," I laughed nervously. "Have a good night."

"You too!"

I walked home, all the while thinking about that picture in my pocket. It manifested itself into my mind, only reminding me of how things used to be. Could it ever be the same again? Things were getting better I supposed, but I knew Ichiro was a little more nervous now than he ever had been before everything happened…

I also thought of the flood of pictures that were strewn across Kazuha's living room. She had so many family members, blood related or not, that it sort of made me envious. It wasn't that I was jealous of the _amount_ of family members she had, it was more about the amount of good _memories _she had with them. Here I was, stuck with a resentful mother that I still somehow cared about with no one else to turn to.

It was probably around 10 by the time I got home, and Ichiro's house was spilling pools of light from the front windows onto the lawn. There were multiple voices ringing from inside, but I didn't recognize any of them and strangely enough…

They weren't speaking Japanese.

I stood outside the front door for a moment, debating whether I should eavesdrop or join whatever jamboree was going on inside. I settled on opening the door and as I was calmly sliding off my shoes Ichiro's head popped out from the kitchen. He had a crazed and confused look on his face that suggested he had been waiting for far too long.

"Kokone! You're finally back! I've been calling you for the past…two hours!" He said in fake cheer, a sickly sweet smile plastered onto his face. This made me lean away in slight fear, even though I was still a good 5 feet away from him.

"Why?" I asked, honestly curious. "Who's in there?" Suddenly, a woman appeared next to Ichiro, causing my breath to catch. She resembled someone I knew, someone close, someone –

Someone like me.

"Kokone-ah? KOKONE-AH!" The woman bellowed, strolling over with her arms outstretched. Another girl that looked around my age had been behind her, along with an even younger girl that had pigtail braids lying across her shoulders. They were chattering nervously in Korean, following the older woman that was suddenly embracing me, causing me to fly into a panic.

"Uhm, Ichiro?" I said shakily. Before he could save me the woman pulled away, still gripping my shoulders. A smile that I recognized was beaming down at me.

"Ahhh, so beautiful! I always knew you'd turn out to be even prettier than your mother, ah? Look at those cheeks! Yun Hee-ah, look at her cheeks!" She twisted around to the older girl that was standing a foot behind her now. The girl nodded slightly, her arms crossed.

"Where's your mother, hm? We tried to find her but ended up at your apartment instead, except – wouldn't you believe it – another _Korean_ man opened the door and said you didn't live with him anymore. You lived with that gorgeous boy? Ohhh, you have to tell me all about it!" My eyes widened as my heart bounced sharply against my rib cage. Who was this woman?

"I don't -" I shook my head vigorously, trying to get her to loosen her grip on me.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, you probably don't remember me, do you? Do you remember your Aunt Hye Mi? Or your cousins, Yun Hee and Baek Hee?" I stared at her as if she hadn't spoken. After a tense moment, I stepped back and put my hands up in a hold-on gesture.

"Wait a minute. What the _hell_?" I exclaimed, my voice rising as this news was beginning to sink in.

All I could think at that point was something along the lines of _Be careful what you wish for._

**AN: ohmygosh it's been so long D: I'm so sorryyyyy. I have to take the SAT next weekend (important test that could decide my entire future, no big deal) so I've been studying like crazy. …unfortunately this probably means I won't write until after the SAT. Sowwie :[ I hope my readers haven't deserted me/hate me…**

**But yeah, anyway. I'm writing another story, so if you're ALSO a fan of The Lightning Thief series, you should check out my other story that I just started :3 hopefully I can handle writing two stories at a time (don't worry, I haven't forgotten about this story! I'm just afraid that this idea I had for my other story would vanish if I didn't start writing it).**

**Okay, thanks for reading! Reviews are appreciated as well. Let me know what you think ;]**


End file.
